Not a good day :-(

[Guest guest]

Today has just been such a crappy day. I guess I should have

expected to pay the price for having fun yesterday though. It sounds

paranoid, but I honestly believe that there is always a pay of for

the good times these days.

It had been a lousy enough day with the cold, wet weather, my geeky

neighbour revving his bloody bike all afternoon and then subluxing

my wrist whilst inside the cast but tonight things just spiralled

completely out of control. As I was dropping to the floor in order

to go down the stairs in my bum (as is my usual method these days)

my left knee gave a huge, sickening pop accompanied by a searing

pain. I was completely stuck on the stairs and sobbing with pain for

a while as I simply couldn't move my left leg at all. I eventually

dared look down at my knee and found that my knee joint had shifted

apart and the knee cap had dislocated completely medially and had

also rotated through 90 degrees too - meaning the bottom was now

sticking out of the inside of my leg. It's a good job I don't have a

weak constitution that's for sure.

I've tried several times but I just can't get it to go back

properly, it's still sticking out of the side of my leg at a weird

angle and still hurting like crazy too, even though I'm drugged up

to the eye balls.The whole knee joint looks very odd and " wrong " to

be honest. I can just about straighten my leg, but can't bend it

much at all and weight bearing is agony so I'm stuck shuffling

around on my bum again as I can't use two crutches because of my

shoulder/wrist. The fact that I can't get it back into place, the

pain I have when trying to bend it and the fact that my leg from the

knee down is icy cold has my worried I have messed up ligaments and

nerves this time. I know that I should go to the hospital but I just

can't face another visit. I know it is going to be long painful and

sleepless night but I just can't handle spending another night in my

casualty department. I have promised to go tomorrow if it is no

better though...not that much can be done for the poor uniquely

messed up little thing :-(

I am so sorry for sounding so down tonight, but I am just at my wits

end and completely exhausted with everything my body has thrown at

me this past two weeks. I just can't take any more pain and fear and

feel totally drained after all that has happened already. I feel so

guilty for complaining as I knew there are so many people with much

bigger issues than me, but tonight I just don't have the energy to

be brave. I need to cry and admit I hurt and I am so very, very

scared. Please forgive me for indulging my weaknesses, I promise I

will regain my fighting spirit soon...

Love and hugs.....Jo

xxx