Acceptance... Re: Re: Re: Morphine/Michellle/Lana

June 2, 2004

On 6/1/04 11:24 PM, " ceda " ceda > wrote:

>

> Subject: Re: Re: Morphine/Michellle/Lana

> I'm losing the fight mode I used to have to find the " Cure " .

> Life seems easier to accept it and deal with what we have. Ya know?, Like not

> getting so mad, frustraited and sad all the time, by looking for another door

> to open. I felt abcessed before. I feel like I have accepted it now. I don't

> know which way is right... but

> I lost the knowledge where to go from here. There seems to be a since of peace

> in accepting what is. More than the fighting. I don't know if that means I

> gave up, or if I simply, finally accepted what we have to deal with. Emotions

> get so intanged sometimes, they are hard to figure out. I think I'm in a

> healther state now in accepting what is. I do worry about the state of mind he

> is in, he doesn't ever talk about it. He is very private with his feelings,

> always has been.

I find I lose my fight mode from time to time too; and see it as a good

thing; an acceptance. It would work great if this disorder became stagnant;

and there were no more loss. Awhile ago on the list some wise person talked

about how with EDS there is chronic loss, so we are grieving a different

loss every day. That is the issue that I grapple with most these days.

I think one of the many difficult things that I have found is reaching this

for myself; then seeing my (adult/near adult) EDS child in pain and not

knowing how to help as my resources and ability to intervene in their behalf

becomes more and more limited with each passing day.

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