RE: Re: WEIRD------- Mikes Visit------From TJ

[Guest guest]

Oh- I didn't mean what Mike does is weird- I mean the feelings in my leg after

having none Is weird!!!!!! lol.

Re: WEIRD------- Mikes Visit------From TJ

TJ, I'm so very glad Mike was able to help you - but from experience

with Mike, I never doubt what he can do! He is an amazing person,

and does his job well, and I'm so proud to call him a very dear

friend, as well as a mentor. It is not surprising to me at all, and

not wierd either. Just take the help/healing for what it was/is - a

transference of love and help from one EDSer to another! Your turn

too, will come to help another, and because you've received, you

will be able to give!

Love Lana

> I've been trying to think of how to word how Mike and Darlenes

visit went....... and explain it all in an -e-mail...... its easier

said than done! lol

>

> I hate to miss anything so Mike- if you think of anything I'm

leaving out- please feel free to input.

>

> I had cancelled our visit due to Mom not being in Michigan and

wanting her to see Mike too- and yet - try to " free " up some of

Mikes time........ I hated traveling and figured that they were

tuckered out and I would be doing them a favor actually by

declining .

>

> Mike wrote and said they were going to be around my area and

wanted to stop in and say " Hi " if nothing else.

>

> Having the Vascular type of EDS- I had some inner fears- because

of bruising so easily and having seen some e-mails go through here

about the vascular type not being able to handle any type of massage

type of deals..... I guess I basically let that override the "

energy healing " that had been being written about through the

group. All that kept going through my mind was- " I don't want

something to go wrong and end up back in the hospital -afterall , I

had lived there nearly for a year- and now have been away from it

for nearly a year as well....... and had no desire to return there

if something were to happen just because I have the vascular type. "

>

> HEHEHE- Darlene called for directions and boy am I the wrong

person to ask directions from anymore- beings I have not even been

really outside my house in the yard- let alone on a road ( unless in

the backseat- sitting sideways- which brings on car sickness- so I

don't see any of any rides anywhere normally ) so they did go the

wrong way- my fault- , I am no good at explaining due to having

little memory of what names of roads are etc-....... One never

realizes - until they are no longer able to take off and go places-

just how much our paths in driving are something we do not really

need to give a lot of thought to- if traveling the same roads on a

daily basis........ You just hop in and go....... not even having to

know roads names and such...... So sorry about that Mike and Darlene-

- but at least Darlene got a much wanted picture she had been

wanting- so something good came from going the wrong way...... well-

to Darlene anyhow.....

>

> I am not sure how Mike and Darlene felt here in the house- , but I

felt like I had known them prior to- probably mostly due to this e-

group- reading all the input etc...... but I didnt feel

uncomfortable and I hope they didn't either......... I have had

guests before say they were uncomfy because of a " Memorial wall "

that I made for my son in Heaven------- and ever since that - I

wonder ------ after people leave- if they felt uncomfortable because

of it....

>

> Where to begin?----

>

> We sat at the table for quite some time just chatting- it was

great hearing Mikes experiences- and was also great getting to know

Darlene and her experiences with photoshop lol- I think Mike missed

that part of the conversation because he was working on my Dad's

knee at the time..... I have no idea how Mike is able to get down

on the floor- on his knees , and get back up- I won't even try that-

, I know there'd be absolutely no way up without help - once down

there.....

>

> I am not sure what all Dad felt or told Mike he felt when he was

working on Dads knee - but I have asked Dad since if he feels any

different and being the stubborn man that he is, I was shocked to

hear his reply of " Well- I don't know for sure - it isn't hurting

me right now " - so I'm pretty sure its safe to say that Dad feels a

lot better........

>

> There were so many different things and because of a lot

of " emotional " outlet for me- I honestly can't remember everything

as it happened........

>

> Darlene showed me how to help with motion sickness......... Boy

will Dad appreciate that one- lol- everytime he has to take me

anywhere - I get sick.....

>

> Trying so hard to remember in order but I can tell right now- that

that is not going to happen.

>

> So - I'll go by symptoms and what I felt but I can not tell you

exactly what Mike did, he will have to fill in that part - even

though he told me step by step what he was doing , it did not " All "

stick in my mind where I could relay it step by step.

>

> 2 of the biggest issues I have been having that are remarkably

changed are my legs.

>

> 1. My left leg had the tendon rupture surgery and even though that

surgery was done more than a year ago- the leg does not bend

properly- giving me a lot of problems for going up/down steps and

getting in/out of vehicles- it is definitely bending further than

it has been in a longggggg time- it is not bending to the full

degree that the right knee does but wow what a difference....

>

> 2. My right leg- where I first had the " compartment syndrome " - "

aneurysm ruptures- blood clots- whatever anyone prefers to refer to

them as " has been dead cold for so long..... and I mean DEAD. No

sense or feeling to it at all. I could run a razor over it and see

it going over my calf with my eyes but couldn't feel the razor going

over it..... thats pretty strange in itself- I pretty much got used

to it being that way and even the doctor said if it had been over a

year since it had feeling that it would never have feeling

again........... was he ever wrong.......

> Mike can describe better what he was doing, but when he first

began touching my calf - I couldn't feel some of his fingers past a

point on his hand- I know Im going to leave out steps here- but I'm

just so - lost for words- I remember it hurting at first- and

saying " Ouch " but it wasn't a bad hurt- and it definitely wasn't

from Mikes hand- I guess it was from coming to after being non

feeling for so long? - anyhow the pain quit almost as fast as it

stirred and then the further Mikes hand went down on my calf - the

feeling seemed to follow- I still can't believe I can feel my own

fingers on it, let alone someone elses- its ----- here it comes

Mike ------- WEIRDDDDDDDD..........

>

> Mind you- its not the same as the other leg but , it feels-------

I mean it actually FEELS......... I even kept re-checking it after

they had gone- to make sure I didn't imagine it....... and I do

intend to keep on working with it until it is totally back to

normal...... if thats possible.......... I don't know if Mike and

Darlene could tell at that point that I was holding back tears or

not- but to feel after not for so long- they were on the verge------

but I did not want to let them out and was able to hold them in at

that point yet.......... " Geesh- they are coming again - just

remembering- so if there is mascara on your e-mail- forgive

me ........ "

>

> From memory- I remember him touching the left leg that felt normal

and told me to have it tell the right leg to feel the same as the

left leg...... and visa versa with the knee for the left leg.

When he told me to forgive my left knee- ' I lost it'- plain and

simple- the tears couldn't stay in any longer- , how weird to have

pent up anger at a symptom lol-------- but I did and didn't realize

it------ until he said " Its not your knee's fault that this

happened " - Makes a lot of sense- , How can something on your body

work with you if you dislike it? I guess the fact that all of these

happenings on my legs changed my life from one extreme to the other-

really did make me angry at them............ especially that darn

knee--------- because I had been through that aneurysm surgery and

was going through Physical therapy at home- and shocked my drs by

training that leg to do things it was not supposed to do- ( I did it

with my brain )- but yet it was not enough -------- I mean- I could

not lay flat on a bed and lift the right leg in the air without

using my arms- but I did teach it to move the way I wanted to walk

again----- I wanted out of that wheelchair!! ------- Then on the way

to a dr appointment- with the shock that I was no longer using

wheelchair full time but getting around sometimes with a walker-----

all glowing - ready to tell him ha!- look - I'm no longer in the

wheelchair............ then I get out of the truck and whap my left

leg- not even very hard- it did not hurt..... the actual banging

into the walker------ but every step I took- with that walker- that

leg got bigger- and bigger- and bigger------ I couldn't even walk

down the corridor to the drs office without tears streaming down my

face- I was so angry at that dang leg for causing me more problems

when I had just made so much progress! By the time I did get to the

drs little office------- when I signed in - I told the

secretary/nurse about the swelling and the pain------ and what had

happened so she tried to get the dr to see me quicker so I could get

home and get some ice on it....... heck- I should have went right

over to the hospital just down the road aways- but I hate

hospitals......... dr was just checking the surgery he had done on

the right calf- and wanted me to get up on the table- uhhuh- that

made me screech I will tell ya- , I told him there was no way- but

he insisted so I pretty much just closed my eyes- cussed inside my

head and threw myself up there - will never forget that pain- never--

----- and all so he could just check the incision on the right calf-

......... I was hurting so darn bad- and in a doctors office , all

he did was say- make sure you tell the other dr about your leg

swelling up........... duhhhhhhhhhhhh. So- I was sent home- and had

to climb back up and get inside a pickup truck------ , I pulled

myself up with a handle and finallly got both legs on the runner-----

---- but It took me 30 painful minutes to get in that truck to sit-

by the time I got home- that leg was so swollen there was no relief -

I just popped my pain medications - and kept trying ice on it.....

but it did not help- I was back in the wheelchair -------- full

time ---------- right smack dab back in that buggar and unable to

shower- go to the bathroom- etc without yelping from having to move

that leg.......... a week later - I had to go thru it all again but

did not go in a truck- we took my car and I sat in the backseat

sideways because the leg would not bend----- and some were on one

side of the car pulling - and some on the other side holding my leg

for me because I couldnt use pressure at all or bend the other to do

a darn thing for myself......... that dr then made an appointment

for an MRI- sent me home- and then had to yet make another trip to

Bay City to get the MRI done- and then another trip back home------

completely helpless each time for getting in and out of the vehicle--

------ how embarrassing.........For my families sake , I just smiled

through the tears------ and went thru each day------- not realizing

I was very angry that that leg put me back in a wheelchair after I

had just began to have a bit of freedom...........The doctors office

called when they got the results and said that the tendon had

ruptured and I needed another surgery----- You can imagine how upset

I was at that point- Mom put it in a structual sentence that fit to

a T................ One step forward- 3 back !---- surgery and

another 4 months in a wheelchair........ so there is where that

hatred for that knee came from- only I didn't realize it until Mike

said to Forgive it............. And how did you know Mike? When I

did not- how did you?

>

> Im going from last to first here-I do believe lol- most likely

because the leg thing was just so WEIRRRRRRRRD.........

>

> As for the other things Mike did, he's going to have to input here-

and then it might help me to remember more of it, but that

emotionally drained me and is foremost in my mind due to the huge

difference it made......... its like it overrode everything that

happened before that point.

>

> I also must admit that after you two left- I felt the urge to try

some steps------- the ones out on the front porch-------- My Aunt

was talking to my son so she was at the bottom so I thought- " What

better timing? " And I went down them easier than I figured I would

be able to- and back up- Sure its not like most people can do it but

the fact is, I have not been able to even go down steps facing

forward- for 2 and a half years- and I did it last

night ............ I hated even attempting to go down steps---

because of that knee-------- going down steps backwards is kinda

scarey when you bruise so darn easy....... I do think I overdid a

bit------- I walked a bit more than I normally do------ etc- but I

felt good at the time- and I did end up sore and in bed before 11:-

00 p.m. but when I woke this morning........ I did my normal stuff-

came out here to get my medications- without those in first thing in

the morning- my fingers etc are just impossible to use- and pain

level is very high ............ but u bet, I reached down wondering

if my leg was still gonna feel my hand on it......... and bam -------

there went the tears again- because it does still feel my

touch....... then- of course I had to see if that left leg still

bent further- lol- , I've been sitting different than I have been

able to for so long----- I can put that left leg on a stool and not

have it just straight out--------- I can actually have it bent to a

degree......

>

> I am so sorry this got so darn long- I had no intention of that

happening...... and to think there is still more- like a rib out of

place and those bumps on my wrists and the spine/snake dance that

Barb had explained before........

>

> So many have asked me how the session went - so I wanted to at

least get something out - and I totally apologize once again for the

length and for not being able to remember everything detail by

detail- but- I am sure all of you understand the shock my brain is

under due to those 2 things above.

>

> I have spoken to my Mother since and told her some of this and she

sure wishes she had been home now......... she is miserable......

she wanted me to ask " Mike " if there is anything she can do to

remedy coughing........ I told her I bet you two would be in Detroit

at nearly the same time , July 27th, she is flying in at 6 a.m. ,

she decided to have Dad pick her up there- rather than catch

another plane from there to the Flint airport- because her breathing

is bothering her enough that she wants to avoid getting on another

plane. She doesn't want to linger around in Detroit because she's

feeling so rotten- she said " I just want to get home "

>

> Now I'm debating whether to send this or wait until I can remember

the rest- , my fingers are tingling from too much typing and my

brain is saying- what if you lose the email or accidentally delete

it or the computer crashes----- you'd have to start all

over.............. so I am closing my book here and hitting send.

>

> Thank you Mike And Darlene for such a wonderful experience.......

>

> God Bless and Hugs to all-

> Love TJ

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Years ago I'd consciously **divorced** my shoulder from the rest of me in order

to deal with pain, and even caught myself referring to it as " the " shoulder not

" MY " shoulder. How strange it that? -to tell a part of the body part I don't

want it anymore. No wonder it stayed " out " nearly all the time.

Note: It still wants to leave...so I've been telling it I really do want it back

and won't divorce it again. So far so good-it's still in place--as are the rest

of the treated joints....a week tomorrow.

How Mike knew to suggest placing my hand on my heart and ask (welcome) my

shoulder back and let it know I'm sorry,(not sure of the wording) is beyond me.

Then

suggests putting my hand on my heart when doing so.

I felt so stupid doing it, but hey---when it needed as much help as it did, I

was willing to do most anything....so toss pride out the window and so what if

I'm feeling foolish ..IT WORKED!!! .

Felt that way a whole lot that day and the next morning.

It's surprising my neighbor & friend still speaks to me after my hand reached

out--on it's own---and scanned her to find where her problems are located!! Now

I learn she didn't think a thing of it!! And says a huge thank you to

Mike! What boggles my mind is, I did that without doing it intentionally!!

It's like my hand was drawn to her all on it's own. Subconscious mind doing it?

To have Mike help me is so awesome. Then on top of that to be able to help my

neighbor out of TOS and ulnar nerve pain is something else. I choke up thinking

about it.

Last evening's session was soooo cool- to have her describe the sensations!

CindyH

Wisc.

[Guest guest]

From: mikeuggen

Now you know why I " do what I do " and why I felt compelled last year to

" retire. "

There is no way I can express in words what it feels like to be able to help

ease someone's pain, whether that someone is a family member

or a complete stranger. It is impossible to describe, but once having

experienced it, it is also impossible to turn your back on it

and walk away from it.

Is that a fair assessment?

~

That's a fair assessment. There are no words to express how that feels.

I'd wondered what you felt while doing this, besides physically.

CindyH

[Guest guest]

From: mikeuggen

Now you know why I " do what I do " and why I felt compelled last year to

" retire. "

There is no way I can express in words what it feels like to be able to help

ease someone's pain, whether that someone is a family member

or a complete stranger. It is impossible to describe, but once having

experienced it, it is also impossible to turn your back on it

and walk away from it.

Is that a fair assessment?

~

That's a fair assessment. There are no words to express how that feels.

I'd wondered what you felt while doing this, besides physically.

CindyH

[Guest guest]

Hi TJ: It makes lots of sense to me that you could have pent up anger

at your knee for the severe, severe pain it caused you. I am certain I

have lots of pent up anger and at HEDS and dysautonomia for the

restricting and painful effects it has on my 17 yr. old, but

particularly, that so very few doctors and regular people as well can or

will acknowledge the systemic effects created. I think it stems from

being unable to find ways to remedy or alleviate the very painful

experiences. In fact, sometimes I think I could grab these folks by the

throat and gleefully rip out their tracheas. How's that for a hostile

fantasy......not tooo much anger their huh!

It seems ridiculously funny writing it now, but it sure doesn't feel

funny at the time. In fact, it seems like a pretty normal straight

forward coping mechanism.....maybe not the best one, but certainly an

instinctive one to pain.........emotional or physical.

Bernie

Re: WEIRD------- Mikes Visit------From TJ

I am not sure how Mike and Darlene felt here in the house- ...

When he told me to forgive my left knee- ' I lost it' ...how weird

to have pent up anger at a symptom --- but I did and didn't realize

it------ until he said " Its not your knee's fault that this

happened " - ... so there is where that hatred for that knee came

from- only I didn't realize it until Mike said to Forgive

it............. And how did you know Mike? When I did not- how did

you? ...

As for the other things Mike did, he's going to have to input here-

and then it might help me to remember more of it...

I also must admit that after you two left- I felt the urge to try

some steps---

----------------

(1) Very comfortable and welcome, thank you.

(2) It told me. I sensed an energetic separation from the rest of

your body when I had my hand on your knee.

[Guest guest]

Hi Cindy: I am wondering if this somehow comes from having experienced

great physical pain and thereby being able to sense physical pain in

another. When tissue is injured there is always a change in temperature

at the site of injury. My daughter is exceedingly sensitive to

temperature change and am wondering if this temperature sensitivity

helps to guide you.

Bernie, To.

Re: Re: WEIRD------- Mikes Visit------From TJ

Years ago I'd consciously **divorced** my shoulder from the rest of me

in order to deal with pain, and even caught myself referring to it as

" the " shoulder not " MY " shoulder. How strange it that? -to tell a part

of the body part I don't want it anymore. No wonder it stayed " out "

nearly all the time.

Note: It still wants to leave...so I've been telling it I really do want

it back and won't divorce it again. So far so good-it's still in

place--as are the rest of the treated joints....a week tomorrow.

How Mike knew to suggest placing my hand on my heart and ask (welcome)

my shoulder back and let it know I'm sorry,(not sure of the wording) is

beyond me. Then

suggests putting my hand on my heart when doing so.

I felt so stupid doing it, but hey---when it needed as much help as it

did, I was willing to do most anything....so toss pride out the window

and so what if I'm feeling foolish ..IT WORKED!!! .

Felt that way a whole lot that day and the next morning.

It's surprising my neighbor & friend still speaks to me after my hand

reached out--on it's own---and scanned her to find where her problems

are located!! Now I learn she didn't think a thing of it!! And

says a huge thank you to Mike! What boggles my mind is, I did that

without doing it intentionally!! It's like my hand was drawn to her all

on it's own. Subconscious mind doing it?

To have Mike help me is so awesome. Then on top of that to be able to

help my neighbor out of TOS and ulnar nerve pain is something else. I

choke up thinking about it.

Last evening's session was soooo cool- to have her describe the

sensations!

CindyH

Wisc.