.......RE: Kay.......RE: Bucket List- Jackie

[Guest guest]

Hi ,……yes some movies I have problems with too. I can’t handle anything scary, or too intense, and I use to love those type of movies. My extended family know about my MS, and because my hubby’s Aunt had it too and she became the example everyone went by for how someone acts with MS. She never complained and she never talked about it. Well I have other things that affect me just as bad or worse, but it seems like they ignore that, and if I talk about any of my illnesses it falls on deaf ears. No one thinks I’m bad enough to offer any help. That’s just sad to me. I was brought up to help people, and did many times with people in my family. It never occurred to me to not ask if someone needed help. I didn’t wait for them to call. The saddest thing I heard was the reason I didn’t go to the family get togethers was because I was too FAT to walk. My son told me he was told that by my hubby’s sister. It’s been 30 yrs. of this, and the first 20 I tried my best to keep up, but the last 10 I’ve been going downhill a little faster now. Hugs, Jackie [in Oregon] From: MSersLife [mailto:MSersLife ] On Behalf Of MarshSent: Saturday, December 03, 2011 3:18 PMTo: MSersLife Subject: Re: Kay.......RE: Bucket List- Jackie  Crikey Jackie, You could be talking about me! The step family is loud and proud and loves to party. On the rare occasion that I am dragged to one of the gatherings it takes DAYS to get myself back.Even after all this time they haven't really accepted my MS. (It really is the invisible wheelchair.) So I am probably seen as moody and a party-pooper rather than wary of potential overload situations. (sigh) I am better than I was. In the early days 10 minutes of watching Moulin Rouge sent me into sensory overload - the kind of overwhelm that demanded total rest. RE: Bucket List- Jackie I know that sounded a little fatalistic, but if people knew just how miserable my life is they too would want the same thing. It’s not like I’m going to make it happen, but I can’t imagine another 10 yrs. of living like this. After a while you get to the point when you say enough is enough. How much longer and more can one person take? My whole life use to consist of “doing†for others, and being on the go, and always having several irons in the fire, and I thrived living such an active life. Little by little all of that has been taken from me. Maybe it’s the menopausal hormones talking, or MS depression, but I’m tired of not having a life, and no one but really all of you here to talk to and be my friends. I sure do appreciate that. And yes there are things I am thankful for, and I am grateful for what I do have. It’s just that I never imagined my life living in chronic pain, and with so many disabilities to deal with on a daily basis. So yes in 10 yrs. I will be happy to be with Jesus because then I’ll have a pain free AND new body. My good arm looks like it may be a chronic pain condition too, so typing is going to be difficult, because I have a hard time not typing a lot to say. So I will probably try that Dragon speak eventually. I could go on and expound on my misery, but I don’t want to bring everyone down. Hopefully this depression will cycle and I’ll see things a little brighter soon. Hugs Jackie