Re: An application for dating person with Visible or Invisible/Hidden Disabilit

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone;

I've been reading the various posting throughout the message board

and I've seen some postings on dating and in due time I might take

the chance once again to get back into the data arena, yet I think

that it's very important that we as patients with Visible or

Invisible/Hidden Disabilities come up with an application or pre-

certification for our perspective dating companions or persons that

wish to have a relationship with a person that has any type of

physical limitation.

I'm asking all of my CEDA Friends and family to forward me any ideas

on what should and should not be included on the application, so that

both parties will be much better informed on what they are getting

into now and in the future.

I only wished that I had thought of this idea much sooner and it

could have saved all parties in concern the undue pain,stress and

heartbreak that is and can be caused due in part that our

perspective, partners, spouses etc have little or no knowledge on how

to live with us or how to help us each day of our lives.

In closing, I will be looking forward to all of your suggestions and

will be making the Application / Pre-Certification for Dating a

person with a Visible or Invisible/Hidden Disability.

Sincerely & Respectfully;

Mr. L. Heim, Jr., President.

[Guest guest]

It is hard for those dating or in relationships with those of us with

disabilities especially unusualy/rare and hidden disabilities.

The main things I see (in my own opinon and from my own experience (I

hae been living with my boyfriend for about 9 yrs now)) are that the

person you are dating or intending to date needs to understand that

when you say you need to do soemthing (like sit/stand/move/lie down

or sleep) you are not just saying this becasue it would be nice if

you could but it means you need to do this and likely need to do it

NOW.

They also need to understand that life is hard for us and socialising

can be harder as even when we go out with others it is hard becasue

when everyone one else is talking about what they have been doing

etc, all you have is doctors appointments, tests, medications etc and

even though we are out etc we have to make comprimises (if I go out

to dinner with friends tonight then tomorrow I wont plan anything as

I will need to recover). They also need to understand that we can't

help talking about health and health issues, docotrs, medical stuff

and the like simply because this is the main force in our lives and

in many cases is the only thing in our lives that we have to talk

about as this is the major thing in our life (although we wish it was

otherwise).

They also need to understand that our bodies can do anythign at

anytime and we can have a new injury or a flare up of an old injury

at anytime and having one current flareup or injury does NOT mean

that we can't have others.

I hope this helps and this is the sort of thing you are after (if not

let me know), I tried to think of how to pose these as questions but

it is too early in the morning to get my brain to work properly.

Sharon

> Hello everyone;

>

> I've been reading the various posting throughout the message board

> and I've seen some postings on dating and in due time I might take

> the chance once again to get back into the data arena, yet I think

> that it's very important that we as patients with Visible or

> Invisible/Hidden Disabilities come up with an application or pre-

> certification for our perspective dating companions or persons that

> wish to have a relationship with a person that has any type of

> physical limitation.

>

> I'm asking all of my CEDA Friends and family to forward me any

ideas

> on what should and should not be included on the application, so

that

> both parties will be much better informed on what they are getting

> into now and in the future.

>

> I only wished that I had thought of this idea much sooner and it

> could have saved all parties in concern the undue pain,stress and

> heartbreak that is and can be caused due in part that our

> perspective, partners, spouses etc have little or no knowledge on

how

> to live with us or how to help us each day of our lives.

>

> In closing, I will be looking forward to all of your suggestions

and

> will be making the Application / Pre-Certification for Dating a

> person with a Visible or Invisible/Hidden Disability.

>

>

> Sincerely & Respectfully;

>

>

> Mr. L. Heim, Jr., President.