Freaky fears and freaky fingers

[Guest guest]

Hi guys, thanks for letting me vent a little - especially when so

many of you are going through such tough time too. Please know that

you are all in my thoughts and prayers too and that I appreciate you

all so much more than you'll ever realise. I just feel like my body

is falling apart on me big style. I know I will come through it and

be stronger eventually, but right now it is one of those scary, dark

places and I am just so grateful to have such wonderful support and

friends to help guide me back out towards the light again.

My BP/HR is still causing concern, especially the large jump in my

heart rate when I stand and the fact I have a pretty big discrepancy

between BP reading in my left and right arm. I've been a little more

stable today, but still giddy and tired with some chest pain. I just

hope that my cardiologists can finally get to the bottom of this as

I found out today my previous tilt test and echocardiogram weren't

even done properly! The echo tech actually missed half of my heart

because " I was too skinny for her to get a good view " ! This added

to the fact my GP told me this was nothing to worry about and I had

too high expectation of the medical profession for wanting them to

find the reason for my heart and breathing problems, haven't done

much for either my temper or my blood pressure as you can imagine. I

intend placing an official complaint about my GP's action (or lack

of them) as I should not have had to collapse twice before someone

started worrying about whether my aorta was about to dissect!

Grrr....

Anyway, on a slightly more humorous note, my body is continuing to

do freaky things....tonight the tendon that runs into the middle

finger, started jumping out of the groove in the knuckle and getting

stuck " out " every time I flex my fingers. It's rather painful and

takes a lot of force to get it back in, but I have to confess that

it's rather impressive in a gross kind of way hee-hee. It's doing it

all the time now, so I have a cumbersome makeshift splint/bandage on

at present and will mention it to Mac next week. I know he will

absolutely love this as he's always adored playing with my freaky,

bendy fingers or showing them off to anyone he can grab form the

corridor. When he sees this impressive new trick he'll be ecstatic

and I have a sneaky feeling that the new bunch of juniors beginning

their rotations with him will get quite an interesting " performance "

from the resident freak.... hmm, I just love being Mac's pet mutant!

Anyway, I should stop typing and rest this finger up for it's star

turn in clinic next week. Take care everyone and know I'm thinking

of you all.

Love and hugs....Jo

xx