GOING CRAZY!!!

[Guest guest]

Ok, in a nutshell hippies...(so much for the nutshell - it's a novel!)

Last week I was all set to make a decision - Belgium/DeSmet it was.

Then I get an email from someone privately, causing me to totally

question my decision and do more research. Not only has it delayed

my surgery date/timing/desire to SCHEDULE it already, but I'm

extremely frustrated that ONE PERSON could put me in such a tail-

spin, causing me to re-evaluate. I am not re-evaluating getting the

surgery ulitmately - this will still happen w/out a doubt - but by

who remains a question.

I'm sure a lot of this has to do with " pre-hippy syndrome " (pre

surgery apprehension, normal re-evaluation), but its caused me to

want to dig more to be sure Belgium is the right choice.

Bottom line, BCCA turned me down here in the States - the whole

investigational B.S. JRI's people tried, and I was denied a few

weeks ago (as many of you know). Would another surgeon's office be

capable of getting an approval, especially since I've already been

denied? I would think not...but I'm not familiar with the whole

insurance deal - it's just a question out there for anyone.

Interestingly enough, my insurance is changing effective July 1st.

It will still be BC (unfortunately), but our company recently merged,

so we're going from small group coverage to the next level up (large

group? medium group? whatever it's called). I asked the BC rep

when she was in our office a month or so again, and my understanding

is that it's the same coverage - just a different dept. Hmmmmm...not

sure if this could help??? You'd think it'd be in the system - my

rejection - but with other folks bein' paid after the fact...who the

heck knows!

As for appealing - I just don't think it's worth my time and energy

since BCCA seems to be rejecting left and right, and with the class

action suit against them, etc. Not to mention, I want to schedule in

the next week, not a month/several months from now when they decide

to say no again.

Next (yup, there's more...), if I go with DeSmet (which I am still

leaning toward btw)...from Jim's recent postings, it sounds as if

it's possible to get $ back from insurance - even though they said no

intially. I know others who have privately told me the same - that

they depended on insurance companies " left hand not knowing what the

right hand is doing. " I guess it'd be nice to know it was still a

possibility, however slight, to get the $ reimbursed if I go to

Belgium. And heck, once it's done, I'll put up my dukes and fight -

but now? I just want it DONE already!

Lastly, as much as I've heard amazing things about DeSmet and the

whole Belgium experience...it's still a bit daunting - the thought of

going overseas for major surgery. I used to travel a ton - so it's

not that, it's ... what if something does go wrong? In my head, I've

decided if I go to Belgium, nothing will go wrong. And on the off

chance it does, there are competent docs in the US that could step in.

I'm sorry all - I'm just losing my mind tonight on this (and have

been increasingly so for the past several days). I want so badly to

make a decision and schedule, but I also just wanna be sure about

everything (is one ever sure??).

Anyone who can put any two cents in - it's appreciated mucho!

Thanks for listening/reading hippies...I'm gonna try and catch some

ZZZzzz's now. G'nite,

P.S. I've been lead to believe that it's not too smart to post such

details on this site - as " big brother's " watching so-to-speak...but

ya know? Whatever...if I can't open up here about this, where the

hell can I?