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Re: Digest Number 2826

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Oh, intellectually I know things are fine. Emotionally, the scars are still

fresh, though, and I've gone along thinking things were going to be great for

me, only to discover the exact opposite was really happening. And believe me --

telling someone with generalized anxiety/panic disorder not to worry usually

gets interpreted in reverse....( " I'm not worried! " " Then you haven't been

paying attention! " )

I'm very tired, from the worst herpes attack I've ever had (and I thought I

already knew what nerves on fire felt like...), fighting through so much

sensory noise recently just to pay attention to the world, and catching nerves

with

every move....I don't want to be me right now. That's all. I'm so damned

tired, there's so much to learn and get done and I'm doing it so SLOWLY...

And truthfully, part of me won't accept it until I'm in the air on the way to

Baltimore.

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