Re: FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I AM FREE AT LAS...

[Guest guest]

Yeah Mike! I am so glad that you are home! You had us very worried and I am sure your boys are happy too!

a

[Guest guest]

a C., Yeah, my boys were so excited to get home and see me, all they could say was, "So...

Mama, think we can start camping again?" LOL They figured I should just start right in like the old

days, cooking, cleaning, working alongside them in the garden, etc. Had a hard time explaining that

I was only home from the hospital one day, and to give things some time.

Of course, I want to start doing everything, too, and it's hard to hold myself in check, much less

two enthusiastic boys. I did cook dinner tonight, and cleaned up afterward. That is major progress

compared to the last six months of torture. I am following doctor's orders, working when I feel like

it, resting when I need to, and keeping to a low sodium diet. I think that's the hardest part, really,

and I didn't cook with much salt, anyway. I was raised in a salt free household because my mother

had chronic nephritis, and couldn't have it. I don't drink soda, but rarely, don't salt my food at table,

and I LIKE veggies roasted on the BBQ with just a little olive oil and garlic on them. So, it is difficult

to find places to reduce salt. LOL

They tell me that as soon as the ulcer in my stomach starts to heal, my blood count will start to

go up, and I will gain energy for improving my circulation in my body. So, first thing on the agenda,

is get that ulcer healed up. That's where I am focussed right now.

The docs are all agreed that it is Lupus related, that my heart problem, is also, because I had none

of the classic symptoms of either condition. Both were silent, and potentially deadly. My PCP was

kind of funny, when he came in my room to see me the first day I was incarcerated, he opened his

eyes real wide and said, "Well, YOU are one BIG bundle of surprises, my friend." The cardiologist

calls me his "bundle of question marks".

I bet you would have got a kick out of the nurses, though, since every one of them came to see me to learn about Lupus lesions, Lupus pain, etc. I conducted little classes for nurses every day at shift

changing time. I was very popular there for a while. Kind of funny, really. Since I was able to get

out of bed most times, I kept track of fluids in and out for the nurses, and they offered me a job!

Well, gotta go back to bed and try to get some more sleep. Take care, love, MM

[Guest guest]

That's to funny Mike about the nurses, lol. You probably know more about lupus than most DR's huh? I saw our Justen the first time since he left us today. He had a med appointment and is doing well. About half an hour after I got home he called, crying and saying that he misses us and wants to come home. His caseworker told us to expect this call soon and to be ready to say no, not yet. I think that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. He was our first child and we love him but he can't come here until he is safe. Anyway, it's a start that at least he wants to come home so maybe he is bonded after all. I sure hope so. It is good to see you posting,we missed you, and good job following DR's orders!

a

[Guest guest]

That's to funny Mike about the nurses, lol. You probably know more about lupus than most DR's huh? I saw our Justen the first time since he left us today. He had a med appointment and is doing well. About half an hour after I got home he called, crying and saying that he misses us and wants to come home. His caseworker told us to expect this call soon and to be ready to say no, not yet. I think that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. He was our first child and we love him but he can't come here until he is safe. Anyway, it's a start that at least he wants to come home so maybe he is bonded after all. I sure hope so. It is good to see you posting,we missed you, and good job following DR's orders!

a

[Guest guest]

a C., Honey, I am SO glad to be home. So far, I have held my dry weight and even dropped a

pound. I go to the lab this morning, then call the cardiologist with progress report. I have to chart

my weight every morning, and how much fluid I took in each day.

I am glad you were able to see Justen. I would caution you, though, to remember that children with

his problems are often very good manipulators, especially of those who love them. My was an

expert at finding my most vulnerable side when it came to his welfare. I thought, for years, that we

would eventually be able to have him come home to stay. But, he only expressed a desire to come

home when he found he could not manipulate things to his liking in his therapeutic placements. I

hope this is not the case with Justen, but for your own sakes, please go with great caution.

I pray for miracles, every day. Loving hugs, MM

[Guest guest]

a C., Honey, I am SO glad to be home. So far, I have held my dry weight and even dropped a

pound. I go to the lab this morning, then call the cardiologist with progress report. I have to chart

my weight every morning, and how much fluid I took in each day.

I am glad you were able to see Justen. I would caution you, though, to remember that children with

his problems are often very good manipulators, especially of those who love them. My was an

expert at finding my most vulnerable side when it came to his welfare. I thought, for years, that we

would eventually be able to have him come home to stay. But, he only expressed a desire to come

home when he found he could not manipulate things to his liking in his therapeutic placements. I

hope this is not the case with Justen, but for your own sakes, please go with great caution.

I pray for miracles, every day. Loving hugs, MM

[Guest guest]

Sadly Mike, I think you may be right. When he first got there he told all of the workers that he was staying until he was 18. Now that he has gotten into some trouble, he suddenly calls every day wanting to come home. He also was upset when he found out that we had vacation bible school all week and he was not invited. I think we will go ahead and take him to church only on Sunday then straight back to the group home and I will talk to the med DR Monday and see what he has to say. The main thing is that I dont' want him to start being so awful to us again and then just run away and get to go stay at the group home every time he doesn't get his way here. My mom asked him tonight if he has been getting in trouble there and I guess he has over chores. hmmmm that's the same thing he did here. I want to see a lot more therapy happening before we bring him. We have seven other kids to protect.

a

expressed a desire to come

home when he found he could not manipulate things to his liking in his therapeutic placements. I

hope this is not the case with Justen, but for your own sakes, please go with great caution.

I pray for miracles, every day. Loving hugs, MM

[Guest guest]

a C., Oh, Honey, I know exactly what you are going through, and how much it hurts. I remember

not knowing what to pray for, in terms of my eldest son. He was so hard to manage at home, yet

so beautiful and so full of potential that I couldn't help myself in dreaming of him coming home to

stay. Perhaps you all will be luckier than we were, as never did come home for more than an

hour after his hospitalization. It was much easier on me and the other kids to see just how damaged

he really was and how impossible it would be for him to be part of a real home the longer he was away in treatment. He was a danger to himself and others, but when you are in the middle of things

it is so hard to see all that. All you know is you love the child, want the best for him, and are so

frustrated that love can't "fix" it all for him. I am still learning to "let go and let God" in terms of

my kids. I am so stubborn, and fight every step of the way.

But, as my family and friends are fond of reminding me, if I wasn't stubborn and a fighter, I would

not still be on the planet to care about my kids. I suppose they have a point, but I always wanted to

be graceful in defeat, and instead I am one of those who will go down punching. LOL

Ah, well, grace in defeat is really kind of dull and uninteresting, anyway, right?

Take care, know I am here if you need to talk, and that my prayers are with you. Loving hugs, MM

[Guest guest]

a C., Oh, Honey, I know exactly what you are going through, and how much it hurts. I remember

not knowing what to pray for, in terms of my eldest son. He was so hard to manage at home, yet

so beautiful and so full of potential that I couldn't help myself in dreaming of him coming home to

stay. Perhaps you all will be luckier than we were, as never did come home for more than an

hour after his hospitalization. It was much easier on me and the other kids to see just how damaged

he really was and how impossible it would be for him to be part of a real home the longer he was away in treatment. He was a danger to himself and others, but when you are in the middle of things

it is so hard to see all that. All you know is you love the child, want the best for him, and are so

frustrated that love can't "fix" it all for him. I am still learning to "let go and let God" in terms of

my kids. I am so stubborn, and fight every step of the way.

But, as my family and friends are fond of reminding me, if I wasn't stubborn and a fighter, I would

not still be on the planet to care about my kids. I suppose they have a point, but I always wanted to

be graceful in defeat, and instead I am one of those who will go down punching. LOL

Ah, well, grace in defeat is really kind of dull and uninteresting, anyway, right?

Take care, know I am here if you need to talk, and that my prayers are with you. Loving hugs, MM