-I'm Shattered

[Guest guest]

Hi

I do not post a lot as I am a very busy single mother with a child that has ADHD and ODD and it is really very hard on me along with having LUPUS.

I read your posts and some of the responses about your partner leaving you after 11 years. I can relate to that as I was with my son's father for almost 10 years and yes we did have our ups and downs but when I relocated upon his request to be a family because he felt that our son needed both his mother and father on a daily basis so I did it and now regret every minute of it as I have had to relocate again after being in FL for only 9 months. I was not happy there and requested for the judge that granted a restraining order to let me leave FL I wanted to go back to Virginia Beach and all my family as well as a few others begged me to come back to NY which is where I am originally from.

I wanted to go back to the Beach and I am really sorry that I did not follow my instincts.

Anyway there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him as my son is a constant reminder of him and I hate the man so much for what he did to us but I love my son to death and go out of my way to give him everything that I possibly can give to him and yet he does not appreciate a single thing that I do and tells me that I do not ever do anything for him.

I know it was for the best of all of us involved but I can't help thinking about it. I do not ever talk about it to any hardly. If I do I end up in tears because of all the hurt and heartache that he caused me as well as my son because he too tells me that he misses Virginia Beach and wishes that we could move back down there.

I wish that I had the money to do so but that is not possible at this time.

Time I'm sure, will take away some of the pain but I know it is hard to end it on a sudden note the way that your relationship ended. Believe me I have been there done that as the saying goes.

Listen to a and have faith and things will work out for the long run. I never thought that I would or could talk to another man in this lifetime but 1 month after I got up here and started a temp job there was a man that worked at the place that I was assigned to that we became friends and we talk 3-4 times a week on the phone and I have been out with him 2 times.My sister who is also a member of this group but does not have Lupus went to school with him and she even stated that he is a nice person, He is single and has never been married and does not have any children nor does he want any. I don't ask anything from him and vice versa. He has asked me a few questions and when he hears in my voice that I am choking up he drops it. I am not sure if I can ever get into another serious relationship again. I guess only time will tell.

Well keep on going to the counselor and talk to whoever will listen. I know it sounds easier than said but things will start to come into place eventually. It may take time but I think that you eventually will find someone to love and care about. As for being alone--have you thought about taking in a room mate just for the company?

Just a hind thought.

Well got to go to finish making dinner.

Have a great day and take care and don't worry yourself to the point that you cause yourself to go into a flare.

Again take care

Dorothy