Very bad day

[Guest guest]

I had a very bad day yesterday. On top of my usual flared up pain, I

haven't slept well in over a week now( Yeah! My insomnia has

returned!), and I had a horrendous sinus headache. Being that I was

so tired from lack of sleep, I hadn't wanted to take any sinus pills,

because I was afraid I'd fall asleep at my desk. Yes, I actually went

into work. I always go to work, and somehow manage to make it

throught the day. Even with pain levels of 8-10. Well, yesterday I

couldn't. So I told my boss I was going home. My coworker made a rude

comment about going home for " just " a headache, and questioned me yet

again on why I don't take something on a regular basis for my sinus

and allergy problem(if I have to explain to her one more time about

drug sensitivity and getting drug toxic easily, I will scream).

Anyway, I did feel better after going home and taking sinus meds.

Which did make me so groggy I couldn't function. Anyway, it was a

bad, bad day, and I was so happy to wake up this morning feeling so

much better. The usual pain, of course, but the usual pain minus the

sinus headache and a little less fatigue is better than the day

before, right?

Wrong. I get into work, thank my boss for being understanding about

going home yesterday. And ended up getting a lecture about my

responsibility to my job. And I needed to remember I had left 20

minutes early on Tuesday to pick up my cat at the vets, and I had a

doctors appt. on Monday that would make me miss quite a bit of the

afternoon. Which, as long as I'm going to get whatever this is

cleared up, the doctors appt. is fine, but I can't forget my

responsibility to my job. He needs me here, working.

I was so pissed. Mind you, I've only missed 2 1/2 days so far this

year, and they were back in January. And my boss MADE me stay home,

because he thought I was contagious. I left 20 frigging minutes early

to get my cat at the vets, and this is taking time off. We get no

personal days, and no specified amount of sick days. I never get a

chance to have a day to myself because of this. And as I've only been

at this job a year, I only get one week of vacation. As if only being

here a year means I need less vacation than others. My boss takes

like 5-6 weeks of vacation a year. He was just on vacation a few

weeks ago. And he had the nerve to say he was burnt out, when he'd

just been on vacation back at the end of November. I haven't had a

vacation since last August!!

I thought when I took this job last year, it would be easier on me,

both mentally and physically. I had been working for a veterinarian

who treated me horribly, and it took quite some time to get over the

beaten dog attitude I had from that job. I thought my boss here was

so much nicer, and he is, but he's also a cheapskate, and thinks we

should work our asses off with no incentive offered. And sitting all

day long is as much agony as being physically active all the time is.

I just can't win. Maybe this isn't the job for me afterall. those of

you who CAN take a day off every week, I envy you. I obviously can't,

and certainly haven't gotten any sort of praise for being here every

frigging day despite the high levels of pain I've been going through,

and my boss knows about.

I've reached my limit. I can't take anymore. If this doctor doesn't

help me on Monday, I just don't know how I can continue to take this.

Sorry this is so long.

Thanks for listening,