baby steps & what did we all do? accepting this

August 8, 2002

I tried to baby step my way into fiber....I started with 1/2 teaspoon of

metamucil, and when I had worked up to 1 teaspoon twice a day...I had

thought that the metamucil had turned into cement--I was actually on the

floor of the bathroom ALL one night, wondering if I should wake my husband

to take me to the ER.

What do we all do? I work as much as I can 32 hours so far this week! I

have a medium sized rabbitry (about 60 rabbits-some angora), 2 kids, an

ornery husband, we HAD 3 houses that we rented (last fall we sold one-as

keeping up 3 houses is insane). When this FMS first started affecting my

joints, I was doing high impact aerobics for 2 hours a day and weight

lifting 5 days a week (training to be an aerobics instructor). Did

gymnastics all through middle and high school - Spent 10 years taking care

of my sister with cerebral palsy-until she died of ovarian ca), etc,

etc....I could go on but it would take up 2 digests. I think that many of

us on this list, seem to have done so much before this FMS stuck us that

it's difficult to accept because we know how much we COULD do. One night I

dreampt I was going to start training for a triathalon, I woke up and felt

SO excited--I know I could do it! It took me 3 hours just to get up and

around, so I was very sad the rest of the day. Knowing that I SHOULD be

able to train, but know that I CANNOT!

Sometimes I feel like it's an evil curse--I have the will and the strength

to do things....but the FMS-whatever it is, seems to prevent me from doing

anything. Does this make sense or do I need to get some sleep?

kmnewberry@...

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