Re: Re: what do you do when people push cures on you?

June 25, 2002

Sue,

I know exactly what you mean. I have to admit, I am on a

" eat-healthy-and-exercise trip " right now (including supplements) but I do that

because it can only help, not hurt.

My mom is just like that, only that she blames my husband for everything. I

would be doing so much better if I would have just stayed home and not gotten

married young. Well, 9 years into the marriage I still don't regret it. But it

hurts me when she tries to hint at the stress and THAT is why I am sick.

I usually try to say something like fibro has all different kind of causes and

symptoms and you can't treat all of them the same. That " cure " does not work

for me. What really helps is you could come over with some fresh veggies for me

to eat and clean my house and do my laundry!!! LOL Well, that is what I want

to say. Well, actually I did say that just recently. :-) I am supposed to wear

wok logo shirts at work. When I go out after work I don't have the energy to go

home and change shirts, so my choice is to get caught drinking a beer or a glass

of wine in a City shirt, or wearing a non-city shirt at work. I told my bosses

boss that he can come over any time after 7 pm to do laundry, so I can wear a

logo shirt tomorrow. He did avoid me for a while.

Anyway, everyone of us will have to figure out what helps for themselves. I

usually just say: " I've tried that and it didn't change a thing, because that is

not the cause of the pain. " this one works for my mom. I've tried this, now

what?

My biofeedback specialist just told me about a study where somebody (who I want

to find and call an idiot!!) figured out that the " cure " is basically the

attitude. Some people just WANT to be sick. People with the right attitude

just got better. Well, I do believe it a vicious cycle, but it is something

that you don't have much control over. If my fatigue would have not gotten

better (with medication) I would not be able to do some of the things I do now.

And there are things I can do to make myself worse. Only that I don't do that

by choice. Healthy food doesn't come to me miracously, it takes effort. Maybe

I should ask him to find this study for me, so I can write this person.

With some people you don't have a choice if you want to be surrounded by them,

but with some people you do have a choice.

I will re-read the book " the dance of anger " It is a little off topic, but

teaches very well how to change your own behaviour to get different results with

people. It taught me to just not discuss things. Especially when it's not the

point. I don't need to discuss a cure, I am very well aware of the treatment

options. I don't have to get sucked into discussions or fights.

Take care everybody,

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