Guest guest Posted July 19, 2002 Report Share Posted July 19, 2002 To the lady who has young kids and FM who's husband thinks she's a child to care for too...I was young and healthy when my kids were 4-3-1 and my husband had to come home and help and never complained, I had days I could just crawl in a hole I was so tired but that's NORMAL with young active kids. Its about expectations and pacing yourself. A normal person can stretch themself so thin that they feel incompetant. I have a bad flare going but I'm managing 8 baby ducks and all the neighbor kids all day just by pacing and delegating. My neighbor is a high paid executive mom, her child has been here all day so mom could take calls or nap so I put the kids to work and made it fun. The jazzy music and sense of competition to get things done work for me. When the ducks seemed tired it was time for all to rest, to pace and set limits. I tossed a simple dinner in the oven since its hard to stand long and sat in a lawn chair supervising the feeding and swimming of the ducks with the kids taking turns. I make it a priveledge or they know they go home. The mom across the street may have more money but I'm having a ball inspite of my muscle pain. I find ways to laugh and have fun so my fatigue doesn't et the best of me. My exercise is moving the garden hose or carrying the basket of duckling from the yard to the house. Some husbands feel burdoned and I try to be empathetic for mine and the issues he has to cope with on his part. Many losses but we focus on what we DO HAVE. I cry at times when it hurts so bad I can't think but he knows I do my best and don't complain when he has to do a search warrant late or watch his show. It took a while to get him to do his chores on his own but I try to make it worth his while by what I say and do to make him feel pampered. He appreciates me sneaking up when he gets out of the shower to hand him his towel and rub lotion on his back. I used to be able to give full massages but surprising him is fun too. I think he knows he'd be in worse shape without me or if he did nto help I'd really not be fun to be with. He tells me all the time how much of a better wife I am than the ones the guys at work talk about who don't try to understand them as a person. Its the emotional support he says that matters. Please don't let those painful comments pull your energy down, we have enough grief to take that abuse. I think our men and kids sometimes just don't quite understand but I know there is a lot I don't know about his job stress etc. Its about respecting each other for who we are. Just love those litte ones and know you are teaching them how to better cope seeing how you CHOOSE to cope inspite of the difficulty. Blessings, Marie www.anaturalplace.com ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2002 Report Share Posted July 20, 2002 I just had to reply and let you know you sure are a good woman and a wonderful mother, my husband and I have been married over 37 yrs, and we have found out that the best way for us, is to be good to each other, like when we eat out we each take turns where we will eat,things like that if I don't feel like cooking we will have a grilled cheese or something simple, if the house isn't clean he doesn't complain, he does help some but he works hard at work, and I hate for him to do my work because he needs his rest too, He gives me massages and when he hurt his back I gave him one too, it not great all the time because that the way live is but like I said we just try to be good to each other.Good luck with those kids and ducks. Audrey Re: support from husbands To the lady who has young kids and FM who's husband thinks she's a child to care for too...I was young and healthy when my kids were 4-3-1 and my husband had to come home and help and never complained, I had days I could just crawl in a hole I was so tired but that's NORMAL with young active kids. Its about expectations and pacing yourself. A normal person can stretch themself so thin that they feel incompetant. I have a bad flare going but I'm managing 8 baby ducks and all the neighbor kids all day just by pacing and delegating. My neighbor is a high paid executive mom, her child has been here all day so mom could take calls or nap so I put the kids to work and made it fun. The jazzy music and sense of competition to get things done work for me. When the ducks seemed tired it was time for all to rest, to pace and set limits. I tossed a simple dinner in the oven since its hard to stand long and sat in a lawn chair supervising the feeding and swimming of the ducks with the kids taking turns. I make it a priveledge or they know they go home. The mom across the street may have more money but I'm having a ball inspite of my muscle pain. I find ways to laugh and have fun so my fatigue doesn't et the best of me. My exercise is moving the garden hose or carrying the basket of duckling from the yard to the house. Some husbands feel burdoned and I try to be empathetic for mine and the issues he has to cope with on his part. Many losses but we focus on what we DO HAVE. I cry at times when it hurts so bad I can't think but he knows I do my best and don't complain when he has to do a search warrant late or watch his show. It took a while to get him to do his chores on his own but I try to make it worth his while by what I say and do to make him feel pampered. He appreciates me sneaking up when he gets out of the shower to hand him his towel and rub lotion on his back. I used to be able to give full massages but surprising him is fun too. I think he knows he'd be in worse shape without me or if he did nto help I'd really not be fun to be with. He tells me all the time how much of a better wife I am than the ones the guys at work talk about who don't try to understand them as a person. Its the emotional support he says that matters. Please don't let those painful comments pull your energy down, we have enough grief to take that abuse. I think our men and kids sometimes just don't quite understand but I know there is a lot I don't know about his job stress etc. Its about respecting each other for who we are. Just love those litte ones and know you are teaching them how to better cope seeing how you CHOOSE to cope inspite of the difficulty. Blessings, Marie www.anaturalplace.com ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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