Guest guest Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Dee, I think that is good advice. I have a odd thing happen with me and people offering help. These are people in my neighborhood and church. I think it is because I've been sick so long and had so many procedures, surgeries, and out-of-town doctor trips that many have lost interest. What happens over and over again is that people ask me how I am. I answer honestly (really awful). They ask if there is anyway they can help. I tell them a few things that they could do (nothing huge) like help get my kids from school, help me hang pictures, have me kids over (we live away from other houses). then they answer: Well, just let me know. So unless I call someone and say could you pick the kids up because I'm out of town seeing a new doctor, they don't do much. I have some really great friends who do come through, but people have very busy lives and I'm not sure I would be much better if I was healthy and involved with working, running my kids around, etc. Another perk of being sick: it's a friend filter. I found out who are my real friends and the others fall into place. I am not bitter, it's just an interesting observation of human behavior. Take care, Cheryl Re: A message from Chris.... > Over the years I have been here on behalf of my husbnd I have seen lots of posts from transplanted patients and caregivers. The best advice for anyone is take advantage of anyone who offers help, it gives a gift that money can't buy and a bond. > > Thanks for keeping us updated and continued recovery spiritual, physical and emotional. > > Fondly, > > dee > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 I've said this more than once over these last few weeks-when things like this happen you know who's there for you and who isn't. Chris's father didn't even make it to the hospital the day of his transplant until 11 pm because he was at his daughter's choir competition. I understand those things are important to her. She's a senior so this is it for her. I was involved in the same things in high school so I get the importance to her. However, I think having a liver transplant is tad more important than a choir competition! Oh and he and his wife never once offered to watch our daughter. Then there's my mother....got his transplant on her birthday. Easy to remember-my mother & best friend's birthdays and Chris's re-birthday are all the same day. Anyway, my grandma, who is my MOM (she raised me) dropped everything that day to be with me at the hospital. And she cried every single time someone called her cell phone for an update. My mother went on about her birthday plans and had a hissy fit when I asked her to watch our daughter. My sister was going to watch her that night but was moving so my mother ended up watching her anyway. Then my mother didn't bother to call all week to see how he was doing. She did call Saturday when my grandma called her to tell her he was going home. So yea, you definitely know who's there for you and who isn't. The ones who aren't, especially when they're family (and parents nonetheless) hurts. But they are who they are and we can't change that. The people who have done laundry for me, sat with me through both of his surgeries, sent us money, taken care of our cats, watched our daughter and gave us a recliner mean the world to us and we will NEVER forget those people. I just told that we need to make a thank you list and I need to get some cards because what I don't want to happen is for us to get busy and forget to let these people know how much we appreciate everything they've done for us. That goes for all of you here too who have offered words of encouragement and support. I have shared all of the messages from the Caring Bridge page with and he is deeply touched. And please know that although we may not be able to send you money, help with your kids or bring you food, you ALL are in our thoughts and prayers and I pray that when the time comes for you or your loved ones to need a transplant that it goes as smoothly as our journey has been so far. Blessings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 I've said this more than once over these last few weeks-when things like this happen you know who's there for you and who isn't. Chris's father didn't even make it to the hospital the day of his transplant until 11 pm because he was at his daughter's choir competition. I understand those things are important to her. She's a senior so this is it for her. I was involved in the same things in high school so I get the importance to her. However, I think having a liver transplant is tad more important than a choir competition! Oh and he and his wife never once offered to watch our daughter. Then there's my mother....got his transplant on her birthday. Easy to remember-my mother & best friend's birthdays and Chris's re-birthday are all the same day. Anyway, my grandma, who is my MOM (she raised me) dropped everything that day to be with me at the hospital. And she cried every single time someone called her cell phone for an update. My mother went on about her birthday plans and had a hissy fit when I asked her to watch our daughter. My sister was going to watch her that night but was moving so my mother ended up watching her anyway. Then my mother didn't bother to call all week to see how he was doing. She did call Saturday when my grandma called her to tell her he was going home. So yea, you definitely know who's there for you and who isn't. The ones who aren't, especially when they're family (and parents nonetheless) hurts. But they are who they are and we can't change that. The people who have done laundry for me, sat with me through both of his surgeries, sent us money, taken care of our cats, watched our daughter and gave us a recliner mean the world to us and we will NEVER forget those people. I just told that we need to make a thank you list and I need to get some cards because what I don't want to happen is for us to get busy and forget to let these people know how much we appreciate everything they've done for us. That goes for all of you here too who have offered words of encouragement and support. I have shared all of the messages from the Caring Bridge page with and he is deeply touched. And please know that although we may not be able to send you money, help with your kids or bring you food, you ALL are in our thoughts and prayers and I pray that when the time comes for you or your loved ones to need a transplant that it goes as smoothly as our journey has been so far. Blessings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 I've said this more than once over these last few weeks-when things like this happen you know who's there for you and who isn't. Chris's father didn't even make it to the hospital the day of his transplant until 11 pm because he was at his daughter's choir competition. I understand those things are important to her. She's a senior so this is it for her. I was involved in the same things in high school so I get the importance to her. However, I think having a liver transplant is tad more important than a choir competition! Oh and he and his wife never once offered to watch our daughter. Then there's my mother....got his transplant on her birthday. Easy to remember-my mother & best friend's birthdays and Chris's re-birthday are all the same day. Anyway, my grandma, who is my MOM (she raised me) dropped everything that day to be with me at the hospital. And she cried every single time someone called her cell phone for an update. My mother went on about her birthday plans and had a hissy fit when I asked her to watch our daughter. My sister was going to watch her that night but was moving so my mother ended up watching her anyway. Then my mother didn't bother to call all week to see how he was doing. She did call Saturday when my grandma called her to tell her he was going home. So yea, you definitely know who's there for you and who isn't. The ones who aren't, especially when they're family (and parents nonetheless) hurts. But they are who they are and we can't change that. The people who have done laundry for me, sat with me through both of his surgeries, sent us money, taken care of our cats, watched our daughter and gave us a recliner mean the world to us and we will NEVER forget those people. I just told that we need to make a thank you list and I need to get some cards because what I don't want to happen is for us to get busy and forget to let these people know how much we appreciate everything they've done for us. That goes for all of you here too who have offered words of encouragement and support. I have shared all of the messages from the Caring Bridge page with and he is deeply touched. And please know that although we may not be able to send you money, help with your kids or bring you food, you ALL are in our thoughts and prayers and I pray that when the time comes for you or your loved ones to need a transplant that it goes as smoothly as our journey has been so far. Blessings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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