Guest guest Posted July 20, 2002 Report Share Posted July 20, 2002 --- Don't hope for recovery just yet. Recurrent remissions are my experience. It comes and it goes. What gets her out of depression? Movies? Music? Massage (without the sexual connotations until she is truly relaxed). When you massage, only go one way. Don't rub back up again. It's like petting a cat like that - they get p*ssed! So do we. Think of giving her a massage as pulling the pain down her neck, down her spine, (but don't rub right down the spine, go on either side of it) Pull the pain down her arms, rub it down her legs, and pull it out her feet. NO RUBBING BACKWARDS AGAIN OR KNEADING THE MUSCLES. Play something soothing. Hopefully, she'll be putty in your hands for the next hour and you will have found a way to connect. Hang in there, darlin' Terri In @y..., jaybirdmumford3@n... wrote: > I sent this message as a response to , but if anyone can help, please do! > > Hello there! > I am on the opposite end - since I do not have Fibro, and my girlfriend does, I, along with her, am trying to understand what is happening. > > Like , ie can go all out some days at work - but for the past week, she has been in bed, at times virtually unable to get up and do anything. > > Just the other night, she walked down the hall from the bedroom to the den/kitchen, and had to sit down and re-build her energy for the return trip. > > There are periods where she will sleep for 17 hours, and there are periods where insomnia or broken sleep occurs. > > I understand the problem (but there are some things that just seem hard to comprehend at times) and I want to be as understanding and helpful, while at the same time allowing her to have her independence, because she is a very proud lady. > > She's taken a lot of the herbs and a few of the medications, because she is new to this. > > There are times she will take NADH, and not get any benefit from it. > Other times there is a limited benefit, and others there is outstanding benefit - is that normal, or can the body build up a tolerance to the drug. > > Or am I going crazy? > > I know she wants to get and feel better, in order to have a higher quality of life than she is right now. > > I sometimes feel like I am not giving her enough room in coping with this disease (syndrome). > > But I don't want her to think I have turned away from her because of the Fibro, and I don't want to suffocate her either with my presence, which I feel is overbearing at times. > > What's a guy to do? > > I just hope she isn't expecting too much too soon as far as feeling better or a form of recovery, because in a way, I think I want too much too soon for her. > > Jay. > > > > __________________________________________________________________ > Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/ > > Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2002 Report Share Posted July 20, 2002 --- Don't hope for recovery just yet. Recurrent remissions are my experience. It comes and it goes. What gets her out of depression? Movies? Music? Massage (without the sexual connotations until she is truly relaxed). When you massage, only go one way. Don't rub back up again. It's like petting a cat like that - they get p*ssed! So do we. Think of giving her a massage as pulling the pain down her neck, down her spine, (but don't rub right down the spine, go on either side of it) Pull the pain down her arms, rub it down her legs, and pull it out her feet. NO RUBBING BACKWARDS AGAIN OR KNEADING THE MUSCLES. Play something soothing. Hopefully, she'll be putty in your hands for the next hour and you will have found a way to connect. Hang in there, darlin' Terri In @y..., jaybirdmumford3@n... wrote: > I sent this message as a response to , but if anyone can help, please do! > > Hello there! > I am on the opposite end - since I do not have Fibro, and my girlfriend does, I, along with her, am trying to understand what is happening. > > Like , ie can go all out some days at work - but for the past week, she has been in bed, at times virtually unable to get up and do anything. > > Just the other night, she walked down the hall from the bedroom to the den/kitchen, and had to sit down and re-build her energy for the return trip. > > There are periods where she will sleep for 17 hours, and there are periods where insomnia or broken sleep occurs. > > I understand the problem (but there are some things that just seem hard to comprehend at times) and I want to be as understanding and helpful, while at the same time allowing her to have her independence, because she is a very proud lady. > > She's taken a lot of the herbs and a few of the medications, because she is new to this. > > There are times she will take NADH, and not get any benefit from it. > Other times there is a limited benefit, and others there is outstanding benefit - is that normal, or can the body build up a tolerance to the drug. > > Or am I going crazy? > > I know she wants to get and feel better, in order to have a higher quality of life than she is right now. > > I sometimes feel like I am not giving her enough room in coping with this disease (syndrome). > > But I don't want her to think I have turned away from her because of the Fibro, and I don't want to suffocate her either with my presence, which I feel is overbearing at times. > > What's a guy to do? > > I just hope she isn't expecting too much too soon as far as feeling better or a form of recovery, because in a way, I think I want too much too soon for her. > > Jay. > > > > __________________________________________________________________ > Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/ > > Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2002 Report Share Posted July 20, 2002 --- Don't hope for recovery just yet. Recurrent remissions are my experience. It comes and it goes. What gets her out of depression? Movies? Music? Massage (without the sexual connotations until she is truly relaxed). When you massage, only go one way. Don't rub back up again. It's like petting a cat like that - they get p*ssed! So do we. Think of giving her a massage as pulling the pain down her neck, down her spine, (but don't rub right down the spine, go on either side of it) Pull the pain down her arms, rub it down her legs, and pull it out her feet. NO RUBBING BACKWARDS AGAIN OR KNEADING THE MUSCLES. Play something soothing. Hopefully, she'll be putty in your hands for the next hour and you will have found a way to connect. Hang in there, darlin' Terri In @y..., jaybirdmumford3@n... wrote: > I sent this message as a response to , but if anyone can help, please do! > > Hello there! > I am on the opposite end - since I do not have Fibro, and my girlfriend does, I, along with her, am trying to understand what is happening. > > Like , ie can go all out some days at work - but for the past week, she has been in bed, at times virtually unable to get up and do anything. > > Just the other night, she walked down the hall from the bedroom to the den/kitchen, and had to sit down and re-build her energy for the return trip. > > There are periods where she will sleep for 17 hours, and there are periods where insomnia or broken sleep occurs. > > I understand the problem (but there are some things that just seem hard to comprehend at times) and I want to be as understanding and helpful, while at the same time allowing her to have her independence, because she is a very proud lady. > > She's taken a lot of the herbs and a few of the medications, because she is new to this. > > There are times she will take NADH, and not get any benefit from it. > Other times there is a limited benefit, and others there is outstanding benefit - is that normal, or can the body build up a tolerance to the drug. > > Or am I going crazy? > > I know she wants to get and feel better, in order to have a higher quality of life than she is right now. > > I sometimes feel like I am not giving her enough room in coping with this disease (syndrome). > > But I don't want her to think I have turned away from her because of the Fibro, and I don't want to suffocate her either with my presence, which I feel is overbearing at times. > > What's a guy to do? > > I just hope she isn't expecting too much too soon as far as feeling better or a form of recovery, because in a way, I think I want too much too soon for her. > > Jay. > > > > __________________________________________________________________ > Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/ > > Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2002 Report Share Posted July 22, 2002 > I am on the opposite end - since I do not have Fibro, and my girlfriend does, I, along with her, am trying to understand what is happening. > Hi I have fibro and I also have a really understanding husband. But try as he might there are always times when he doesn't understand what the right thing to do or say is and that's ok, we just talk about it. Talking about things really openly might seem difficult especially if you want to tell her about your feelings but it's the only way to get understood and build a real relationship. Especially when one person has a chronic illness. Also, about that massage technique someone suggested, if you tried that on me I'd be really in pain. I think every one of us has certain special massage needs, do's and don'ts so just ask her/him what feels best and what doesn't. (no offense to the person who suggested a massage method) The symptoms come and go without warning which probably makes us hard to understand. We forget things and can't think as clearly sometimes as we did before - our hearts are breaking over it even if we don't show that part, and the whole time we're frustrating our loved ones. I guess the best answer is, be loving, patient and kind. Try and imagine how you would feel if you lost so many of the things that made you YOU and the ability to do them. There is a book called Beyond Chaos and it was written by a husband of a woman with FMS. It's really good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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