Guest guest Posted August 14, 2002 Report Share Posted August 14, 2002 Suzi writes.> I have nothing at all! My > husband gives me a household budget that is so small I can barely > feed everyone on it let alone buy diapers for our 2 year old and pay > co-payments when I go to the doctors. So planting a garden here is a > good thing to do because I am in sunny California and I can grow it > year round. I just never knew that the garden would take so much out > of me. My husband say's he will continue to give me the same > household budget even when the garden is producing well, so I keep > plugging away at it knowing that I will have a little spending money > when it is in full swing. > I know that this is a very personal question but I am going to ask it any way. Why does your husband keep you on a small household budget? Everyone needs some money of their own. In the olden days, it was call pin money. It was the money that the woman of the house made by raising chickens and selling them and by selling their eggs. Ask him to give you some more in you household allowance. Let him go to the store a few times and see how the prices have risen and that groceries are expensive. My husband found that out when he started shopping for me. It just might give him a wake up call. Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 14, 2002 Report Share Posted August 14, 2002 Suzi, Where are you in California? I am in the San Valley. I have a very understanding doctor here, if you are close enough. How about taking 1 or 2 children part-time to care for? Is that do-able? It may help with the $$ situation without biting off more than you can chew. I am sorry to hear that your husband is not supportive. Maybe you could provide some reading material on FMS for him to read. If he understands that this is a REAL disease and not your being lazy, maybe he'll be a little more supportive. If you need someone to talk to, you picked the right group. Everyone here is very supportive and understanding. Take what works for, leave the rest. Take care, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2002 Report Share Posted August 15, 2002 Hi and all, I don't know the lay of the land yet, so I am unsure of where you are at. We are just outside of San Diego. I tried to put an ad in the paper and didn't get any calls. I picked out this house online when I still lived in Missouri. I didn't realize that it was so far out in the country. In Missouri I had people drive very long distances up to 45 minutes each way to get to me, so I figured people would drive here, but no dice. When our lease is up we will probably look for a place closer to town. I will try and take one family for a little extra. I have no desire to get licensed and take a few more. I did the whole daycare scene for too many years. In answer to I believe it was Irene, the reason I am on such a small budget for the household expenses is because I talked my husband into renting a house with a pool. I knew we couldn't afford it forever. I just thought it would be fun for the kids and I after all the years of working so hard. Things will loosen up a bit when we move, but he will always be overly controlling when it comes to money. He " allowed " me to control the money in the early years of the marriage when there wasn't enough to go around. But in the last few years his salary trippled and he was able to get us out of debt. He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to fight about it. Well I guess I should get my day started. The morning stiffness is gone and now I am just left with the normal aches and pains for a few hours. take care Suzi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2002 Report Share Posted August 15, 2002 Hi and all, I don't know the lay of the land yet, so I am unsure of where you are at. We are just outside of San Diego. I tried to put an ad in the paper and didn't get any calls. I picked out this house online when I still lived in Missouri. I didn't realize that it was so far out in the country. In Missouri I had people drive very long distances up to 45 minutes each way to get to me, so I figured people would drive here, but no dice. When our lease is up we will probably look for a place closer to town. I will try and take one family for a little extra. I have no desire to get licensed and take a few more. I did the whole daycare scene for too many years. In answer to I believe it was Irene, the reason I am on such a small budget for the household expenses is because I talked my husband into renting a house with a pool. I knew we couldn't afford it forever. I just thought it would be fun for the kids and I after all the years of working so hard. Things will loosen up a bit when we move, but he will always be overly controlling when it comes to money. He " allowed " me to control the money in the early years of the marriage when there wasn't enough to go around. But in the last few years his salary trippled and he was able to get us out of debt. He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to fight about it. Well I guess I should get my day started. The morning stiffness is gone and now I am just left with the normal aches and pains for a few hours. take care Suzi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2002 Report Share Posted August 15, 2002 Hi and all, I don't know the lay of the land yet, so I am unsure of where you are at. We are just outside of San Diego. I tried to put an ad in the paper and didn't get any calls. I picked out this house online when I still lived in Missouri. I didn't realize that it was so far out in the country. In Missouri I had people drive very long distances up to 45 minutes each way to get to me, so I figured people would drive here, but no dice. When our lease is up we will probably look for a place closer to town. I will try and take one family for a little extra. I have no desire to get licensed and take a few more. I did the whole daycare scene for too many years. In answer to I believe it was Irene, the reason I am on such a small budget for the household expenses is because I talked my husband into renting a house with a pool. I knew we couldn't afford it forever. I just thought it would be fun for the kids and I after all the years of working so hard. Things will loosen up a bit when we move, but he will always be overly controlling when it comes to money. He " allowed " me to control the money in the early years of the marriage when there wasn't enough to go around. But in the last few years his salary trippled and he was able to get us out of debt. He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to fight about it. Well I guess I should get my day started. The morning stiffness is gone and now I am just left with the normal aches and pains for a few hours. take care Suzi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Suzi wrote > He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest > major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on > having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't > want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because > I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to > fight about it. That is what I am going through now. And in our case, it was him that got us into financial problems. He has decided that it is my fault and that I spend to much money. He gets paid and puts the same amount in every two weeks. He is a salesman and I know that he gets paid more than he says. he opened a bank account for his Social Security and I do have a card on it but I don't use it because it would be my fault if there was not enough money there. He adds the extra that keeps over and above what he gives me. I am supposed to pay for everything out of that. If I run short, I get questioned about what I spent. The other night he decided that he was going to take over the checkbook and pay the bills. He says that I can write checks when I need to. So I guess I am going to get a couple of checks to carry in case I need them. Yesterday, I spent 145.00 on medications. He has always been a controlling person. My daughter buys something with her own money and she will not tell him because he will start in on how she spends to much money. It is none of his business. He also has a thing about me using the computer. He blames this computer for a lot of my problems. I told him that I would get the bills for this month together and he can take the checkbook and I did not want to be questioned about anything connected with bills. When I get my very own checks, I will not be questioned on what I spend them on. He has wanted everything his own way for quite some time and now he has it. I can't take anymore. My life is hell and I have been beaten into the ground over this. My pain has become worse than it was and my tinnitus is driving me crazy. Life has not been fun for a long time and it is getting to the stage where I wonder if it is worth going on like this. I have no peace, he yelled for me to stop doing something into my ear and that has made it worse. He used to care about my pain and my tinnitus and take care of me but now he is not at all supportive. I feel like he blames me for the fact that I can't do anything much. He has stopped helping me and I have just left things as they are and they get done when I feel like I can do them. Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Suzi wrote > He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest > major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on > having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't > want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because > I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to > fight about it. That is what I am going through now. And in our case, it was him that got us into financial problems. He has decided that it is my fault and that I spend to much money. He gets paid and puts the same amount in every two weeks. He is a salesman and I know that he gets paid more than he says. he opened a bank account for his Social Security and I do have a card on it but I don't use it because it would be my fault if there was not enough money there. He adds the extra that keeps over and above what he gives me. I am supposed to pay for everything out of that. If I run short, I get questioned about what I spent. The other night he decided that he was going to take over the checkbook and pay the bills. He says that I can write checks when I need to. So I guess I am going to get a couple of checks to carry in case I need them. Yesterday, I spent 145.00 on medications. He has always been a controlling person. My daughter buys something with her own money and she will not tell him because he will start in on how she spends to much money. It is none of his business. He also has a thing about me using the computer. He blames this computer for a lot of my problems. I told him that I would get the bills for this month together and he can take the checkbook and I did not want to be questioned about anything connected with bills. When I get my very own checks, I will not be questioned on what I spend them on. He has wanted everything his own way for quite some time and now he has it. I can't take anymore. My life is hell and I have been beaten into the ground over this. My pain has become worse than it was and my tinnitus is driving me crazy. Life has not been fun for a long time and it is getting to the stage where I wonder if it is worth going on like this. I have no peace, he yelled for me to stop doing something into my ear and that has made it worse. He used to care about my pain and my tinnitus and take care of me but now he is not at all supportive. I feel like he blames me for the fact that I can't do anything much. He has stopped helping me and I have just left things as they are and they get done when I feel like I can do them. Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Suzi wrote > He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest > major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on > having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't > want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because > I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to > fight about it. That is what I am going through now. And in our case, it was him that got us into financial problems. He has decided that it is my fault and that I spend to much money. He gets paid and puts the same amount in every two weeks. He is a salesman and I know that he gets paid more than he says. he opened a bank account for his Social Security and I do have a card on it but I don't use it because it would be my fault if there was not enough money there. He adds the extra that keeps over and above what he gives me. I am supposed to pay for everything out of that. If I run short, I get questioned about what I spent. The other night he decided that he was going to take over the checkbook and pay the bills. He says that I can write checks when I need to. So I guess I am going to get a couple of checks to carry in case I need them. Yesterday, I spent 145.00 on medications. He has always been a controlling person. My daughter buys something with her own money and she will not tell him because he will start in on how she spends to much money. It is none of his business. He also has a thing about me using the computer. He blames this computer for a lot of my problems. I told him that I would get the bills for this month together and he can take the checkbook and I did not want to be questioned about anything connected with bills. When I get my very own checks, I will not be questioned on what I spend them on. He has wanted everything his own way for quite some time and now he has it. I can't take anymore. My life is hell and I have been beaten into the ground over this. My pain has become worse than it was and my tinnitus is driving me crazy. Life has not been fun for a long time and it is getting to the stage where I wonder if it is worth going on like this. I have no peace, he yelled for me to stop doing something into my ear and that has made it worse. He used to care about my pain and my tinnitus and take care of me but now he is not at all supportive. I feel like he blames me for the fact that I can't do anything much. He has stopped helping me and I have just left things as they are and they get done when I feel like I can do them. Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 In a message dated 08/16/2002 4:57:03 PM US Eastern Standard Time, patidu@... writes: > Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the > medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. > Mom is that you.....you and my mother should meet....she lives the same kind of life...I have never seen anyone with IBS as bad as she has it...If doesn't feel good she will go lay down and my dad throws an absolute fit. It shouldn't have to be that way...it really shouldn't....I swear all the men that are nice are either gay or married....or dead!!! All the good ones are gone... I wish you wasn't dealing with this....I know it makes it hard when your companion doesn't support you at all. I got into it big time with my boyfriend last night because I didn't mail his credit card payment out....so finally I got sick of him screaming at me and told him if he didn't like the way I did things to do it his own damn self....or go back to his mommy's....( he is 33)....so he left...slam'n doors and scream'n all the way outside...but he come back kiss'n major bootie... Well Irene I really wish you weren't dealing with all this....Suzi I wish the same for you too. I think we should all invest in massagers....*CHUCKLE* and go on a man strike. Allicia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 In a message dated 08/16/2002 4:57:03 PM US Eastern Standard Time, patidu@... writes: > Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the > medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. > Mom is that you.....you and my mother should meet....she lives the same kind of life...I have never seen anyone with IBS as bad as she has it...If doesn't feel good she will go lay down and my dad throws an absolute fit. It shouldn't have to be that way...it really shouldn't....I swear all the men that are nice are either gay or married....or dead!!! All the good ones are gone... I wish you wasn't dealing with this....I know it makes it hard when your companion doesn't support you at all. I got into it big time with my boyfriend last night because I didn't mail his credit card payment out....so finally I got sick of him screaming at me and told him if he didn't like the way I did things to do it his own damn self....or go back to his mommy's....( he is 33)....so he left...slam'n doors and scream'n all the way outside...but he come back kiss'n major bootie... Well Irene I really wish you weren't dealing with all this....Suzi I wish the same for you too. I think we should all invest in massagers....*CHUCKLE* and go on a man strike. Allicia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 In a message dated 08/16/2002 4:57:03 PM US Eastern Standard Time, patidu@... writes: > Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the > medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. > Mom is that you.....you and my mother should meet....she lives the same kind of life...I have never seen anyone with IBS as bad as she has it...If doesn't feel good she will go lay down and my dad throws an absolute fit. It shouldn't have to be that way...it really shouldn't....I swear all the men that are nice are either gay or married....or dead!!! All the good ones are gone... I wish you wasn't dealing with this....I know it makes it hard when your companion doesn't support you at all. I got into it big time with my boyfriend last night because I didn't mail his credit card payment out....so finally I got sick of him screaming at me and told him if he didn't like the way I did things to do it his own damn self....or go back to his mommy's....( he is 33)....so he left...slam'n doors and scream'n all the way outside...but he come back kiss'n major bootie... Well Irene I really wish you weren't dealing with all this....Suzi I wish the same for you too. I think we should all invest in massagers....*CHUCKLE* and go on a man strike. Allicia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 I am always upset to hear financial woes...There is never a good outcome. I do not work. My husband works alot of overtime to compensate. But, our medical bills for me alone were over $750 last month, and will be higher this month. Sometimes I feel like a burden. But, that is where For richer for poorer comes in...His butt is stuck with me! Think of it this way...You can only do what you can. When it comes to money, bills will just have to wait! Hell, some people never pay them. Luckily, my husband does not touch the checkbook. He has no idea what the heck is going on, and if I have anything to do with it, he never will...LOL Not that he would have a fit, but I am sure he would question me on withdrawls that were necessary, but I won't remeber what the heck they were for! Men are men...They have to feel as though they are in charge...As the saying goes, " Do you want to talk to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on. " Missy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 I am always upset to hear financial woes...There is never a good outcome. I do not work. My husband works alot of overtime to compensate. But, our medical bills for me alone were over $750 last month, and will be higher this month. Sometimes I feel like a burden. But, that is where For richer for poorer comes in...His butt is stuck with me! Think of it this way...You can only do what you can. When it comes to money, bills will just have to wait! Hell, some people never pay them. Luckily, my husband does not touch the checkbook. He has no idea what the heck is going on, and if I have anything to do with it, he never will...LOL Not that he would have a fit, but I am sure he would question me on withdrawls that were necessary, but I won't remeber what the heck they were for! Men are men...They have to feel as though they are in charge...As the saying goes, " Do you want to talk to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on. " Missy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 I am always upset to hear financial woes...There is never a good outcome. I do not work. My husband works alot of overtime to compensate. But, our medical bills for me alone were over $750 last month, and will be higher this month. Sometimes I feel like a burden. But, that is where For richer for poorer comes in...His butt is stuck with me! Think of it this way...You can only do what you can. When it comes to money, bills will just have to wait! Hell, some people never pay them. Luckily, my husband does not touch the checkbook. He has no idea what the heck is going on, and if I have anything to do with it, he never will...LOL Not that he would have a fit, but I am sure he would question me on withdrawls that were necessary, but I won't remeber what the heck they were for! Men are men...They have to feel as though they are in charge...As the saying goes, " Do you want to talk to the man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on. " Missy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Allicia posted: <> I would have told him what I used to tell my ex-husband: " YOUR bill? YOUR responsibility to make sure that the payment gets mailed on time... If you leave it for someone else to do, it may or may not get done. The only way to be sure is to DO IT YOURSELF. " Guess I turned into a hard-a** after a few years of being his personal secretary and getting no consideration in return... " Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you, " -Mareth http://www.geocities.com/m_summerwind/index.html _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Allicia posted: <> I would have told him what I used to tell my ex-husband: " YOUR bill? YOUR responsibility to make sure that the payment gets mailed on time... If you leave it for someone else to do, it may or may not get done. The only way to be sure is to DO IT YOURSELF. " Guess I turned into a hard-a** after a few years of being his personal secretary and getting no consideration in return... " Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you, " -Mareth http://www.geocities.com/m_summerwind/index.html _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Allicia posted: <> I would have told him what I used to tell my ex-husband: " YOUR bill? YOUR responsibility to make sure that the payment gets mailed on time... If you leave it for someone else to do, it may or may not get done. The only way to be sure is to DO IT YOURSELF. " Guess I turned into a hard-a** after a few years of being his personal secretary and getting no consideration in return... " Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you, " -Mareth http://www.geocities.com/m_summerwind/index.html _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Irene, I am sorry that you are going through this. Some times I think that I would love to tell my husband that he has to do the shopping for food and take the kids to the docs. Then I wouldn't need a penny to my name. He would have to control absolutely everything. But then he would just tell me that I am a stay at home mother now, so it's my job to run the errands etc. Oh well. I have been reading all I can about this fibro thing. I read over and over that we must learn to reduce our stress. It's all up to us. We can choose how we will react to other people. That's easier said than done! I think the biggest concern I have right now is the idea that if I become too sick I wouldn't be able to take care of myself if I had to. ttyl Suzi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Irene, I am sorry that you are going through this. Some times I think that I would love to tell my husband that he has to do the shopping for food and take the kids to the docs. Then I wouldn't need a penny to my name. He would have to control absolutely everything. But then he would just tell me that I am a stay at home mother now, so it's my job to run the errands etc. Oh well. I have been reading all I can about this fibro thing. I read over and over that we must learn to reduce our stress. It's all up to us. We can choose how we will react to other people. That's easier said than done! I think the biggest concern I have right now is the idea that if I become too sick I wouldn't be able to take care of myself if I had to. ttyl Suzi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2002 Report Share Posted August 16, 2002 Irene, I am sorry that you are going through this. Some times I think that I would love to tell my husband that he has to do the shopping for food and take the kids to the docs. Then I wouldn't need a penny to my name. He would have to control absolutely everything. But then he would just tell me that I am a stay at home mother now, so it's my job to run the errands etc. Oh well. I have been reading all I can about this fibro thing. I read over and over that we must learn to reduce our stress. It's all up to us. We can choose how we will react to other people. That's easier said than done! I think the biggest concern I have right now is the idea that if I become too sick I wouldn't be able to take care of myself if I had to. ttyl Suzi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2002 Report Share Posted August 17, 2002 Irene, I am so sorry about what you are going through with your husband, My husband and I used to have a lot of problems about money years ago, but we are doing better now.Try not to get so down at least we all understand your pain, and I will be praying for you. Audie Re: Goodmorning everyone Suzi wrote > He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest > major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on > having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't > want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because > I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to > fight about it. That is what I am going through now. And in our case, it was him that got us into financial problems. He has decided that it is my fault and that I spend to much money. He gets paid and puts the same amount in every two weeks. He is a salesman and I know that he gets paid more than he says. he opened a bank account for his Social Security and I do have a card on it but I don't use it because it would be my fault if there was not enough money there. He adds the extra that keeps over and above what he gives me. I am supposed to pay for everything out of that. If I run short, I get questioned about what I spent. The other night he decided that he was going to take over the checkbook and pay the bills. He says that I can write checks when I need to. So I guess I am going to get a couple of checks to carry in case I need them. Yesterday, I spent 145.00 on medications. He has always been a controlling person. My daughter buys something with her own money and she will not tell him because he will start in on how she spends to much money. It is none of his business. He also has a thing about me using the computer. He blames this computer for a lot of my problems. I told him that I would get the bills for this month together and he can take the checkbook and I did not want to be questioned about anything connected with bills. When I get my very own checks, I will not be questioned on what I spend them on. He has wanted everything his own way for quite some time and now he has it. I can't take anymore. My life is hell and I have been beaten into the ground over this. My pain has become worse than it was and my tinnitus is driving me crazy. Life has not been fun for a long time and it is getting to the stage where I wonder if it is worth going on like this. I have no peace, he yelled for me to stop doing something into my ear and that has made it worse. He used to care about my pain and my tinnitus and take care of me but now he is not at all supportive. I feel like he blames me for the fact that I can't do anything much. He has stopped helping me and I have just left things as they are and they get done when I feel like I can do them. Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2002 Report Share Posted August 17, 2002 Irene, I am so sorry about what you are going through with your husband, My husband and I used to have a lot of problems about money years ago, but we are doing better now.Try not to get so down at least we all understand your pain, and I will be praying for you. Audie Re: Goodmorning everyone Suzi wrote > He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest > major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on > having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't > want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because > I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to > fight about it. That is what I am going through now. And in our case, it was him that got us into financial problems. He has decided that it is my fault and that I spend to much money. He gets paid and puts the same amount in every two weeks. He is a salesman and I know that he gets paid more than he says. he opened a bank account for his Social Security and I do have a card on it but I don't use it because it would be my fault if there was not enough money there. He adds the extra that keeps over and above what he gives me. I am supposed to pay for everything out of that. If I run short, I get questioned about what I spent. The other night he decided that he was going to take over the checkbook and pay the bills. He says that I can write checks when I need to. So I guess I am going to get a couple of checks to carry in case I need them. Yesterday, I spent 145.00 on medications. He has always been a controlling person. My daughter buys something with her own money and she will not tell him because he will start in on how she spends to much money. It is none of his business. He also has a thing about me using the computer. He blames this computer for a lot of my problems. I told him that I would get the bills for this month together and he can take the checkbook and I did not want to be questioned about anything connected with bills. When I get my very own checks, I will not be questioned on what I spend them on. He has wanted everything his own way for quite some time and now he has it. I can't take anymore. My life is hell and I have been beaten into the ground over this. My pain has become worse than it was and my tinnitus is driving me crazy. Life has not been fun for a long time and it is getting to the stage where I wonder if it is worth going on like this. I have no peace, he yelled for me to stop doing something into my ear and that has made it worse. He used to care about my pain and my tinnitus and take care of me but now he is not at all supportive. I feel like he blames me for the fact that I can't do anything much. He has stopped helping me and I have just left things as they are and they get done when I feel like I can do them. Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2002 Report Share Posted August 17, 2002 Irene, I am so sorry about what you are going through with your husband, My husband and I used to have a lot of problems about money years ago, but we are doing better now.Try not to get so down at least we all understand your pain, and I will be praying for you. Audie Re: Goodmorning everyone Suzi wrote > He blames me for getting us into debt even though the biggest > major financial blunders were his fault and he is the one that insisted on > having fixer upper houses through the years. At any rate, now he doesn't > want me to control anything because he thinks that we were in debt because > I squandered the money. All I can say is whatever. I am too tired to > fight about it. That is what I am going through now. And in our case, it was him that got us into financial problems. He has decided that it is my fault and that I spend to much money. He gets paid and puts the same amount in every two weeks. He is a salesman and I know that he gets paid more than he says. he opened a bank account for his Social Security and I do have a card on it but I don't use it because it would be my fault if there was not enough money there. He adds the extra that keeps over and above what he gives me. I am supposed to pay for everything out of that. If I run short, I get questioned about what I spent. The other night he decided that he was going to take over the checkbook and pay the bills. He says that I can write checks when I need to. So I guess I am going to get a couple of checks to carry in case I need them. Yesterday, I spent 145.00 on medications. He has always been a controlling person. My daughter buys something with her own money and she will not tell him because he will start in on how she spends to much money. It is none of his business. He also has a thing about me using the computer. He blames this computer for a lot of my problems. I told him that I would get the bills for this month together and he can take the checkbook and I did not want to be questioned about anything connected with bills. When I get my very own checks, I will not be questioned on what I spend them on. He has wanted everything his own way for quite some time and now he has it. I can't take anymore. My life is hell and I have been beaten into the ground over this. My pain has become worse than it was and my tinnitus is driving me crazy. Life has not been fun for a long time and it is getting to the stage where I wonder if it is worth going on like this. I have no peace, he yelled for me to stop doing something into my ear and that has made it worse. He used to care about my pain and my tinnitus and take care of me but now he is not at all supportive. I feel like he blames me for the fact that I can't do anything much. He has stopped helping me and I have just left things as they are and they get done when I feel like I can do them. Sorry for crying on all of your shoulder but at my age and with all of the medical problems that I have, why must it be like this. Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2002 Report Share Posted August 18, 2002 I read these accounts and immediately tried to start brainstorming of ways that might help, but quickly realized, there wasn't much I could say except, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this, and we're here for you. It's hard to be in pain and have someone refuse to respect that. Hugs Darcy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2002 Report Share Posted August 18, 2002 I read these accounts and immediately tried to start brainstorming of ways that might help, but quickly realized, there wasn't much I could say except, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this, and we're here for you. It's hard to be in pain and have someone refuse to respect that. Hugs Darcy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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