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This is something I've been thinking a lot about this week now knowing that a

transplant

for my hubby is in the very near future and that our baby is due in 6 months.

The

likelihood of him getting the work up, getting listed and getting the transplant

before the

baby is born is pretty slim although the transplant will happen at Indiana

University

Hospital, which from what I understand has one of the shortest wait times in the

country.

Anyway, we were talking last night and he says " don't leave me alone after I

have the

transplant. " He HATES being alone at the hospital. Night time is the worst for

him. When

he's been in our local hospital, I've spent the night with him every night. Now,

me being

pregnant and him being an hour away from home, I've not spent the night but I

have pretty

much spent the entire day every day that he's been there (6 days today). And we

found out

yesterday that they don't even allow visitors to spend the night at IU. Anyway,

my fear is

that he's going to get the transplant right after the baby is born. Assuming

that happens,

how on earth do I juggle the high needs of a new born and of my husband who is

frightened and doesn't want to be left alone? The idea of the transplant doesn't

stress me

out as much as worry about how I'm going to juggle everything! In all honesty,

and I'm

sure those who have already been down this road will probably agree, we are

looking

forward to him getting a new liver. It HAS to be better than to be hospitalized

for a week

at a time, being pumped full of antibiotics and poked and prodded constantly and

feeling

awful all the time. I'm sure it's no picnic for a while after the transplant but

at least then

you know better things are coming. Right now, until he gets a new liver, we just

have more

of the same and worst to look forward to. My hope is that maybe he'll get the

transplant

BEFORE the baby comes. That would be great! But as you all know, we are not in

control of

these things.

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Bobbie,

I feel for you, and also for your husband. I’m

similar to your husband and don’t like to be left alone at the hospital

very much (I’ve had 3 extended stays in my life, twice due to colon

surgeries). There is a certain amount of comfort in having another person

around to be your advocate when you need it and to do the little things that

you hate to bother a nurse for. But, here is the bottom line for your

situation: The newborn baby truly does NEED you. There is no-one

better to care for a newborn than its’ mother. Your husband WANTS

you. The Dr’s and nurses are the ones he will depend on. It

will be a juggling act for you for sure because your heart would be torn in 2

directions and you don’t have the ability to be in 2 places at once.

I imagine that this situation would be harder on you than on your

husband.

It might be a good idea to start planning ahead for some

help. For example, does your husband have any other close friends or

relatives that would be willing to spend a shift with him at the hospital while

you are home resting and with the newborn? And, is there anyone that you

can trust nearby to watch your newborn for a day here and there? I’m

not sure how feasible telephone is for the first few days post transplant, but

it might also be a comfort for your husband to just hear your voice (and for

you to hear his). Maybe some of the others here have suggestions on

what can be done to help pass time and keep your mind occupied while recovering

from Tx surgery. I know that when I was recovering from J pouch

surgeries (which are no picnic!) it was nice for me to have my laptop and some

light movies to watch. I also brought along some cards and played with

anyone that was willing.

I hope that your husband can get his transplant soon and that

everything will go well. And, I also hope that your delivery is smooth and you

have a happy, healthy baby to be a blessing to your lives. I will be

keeping you both in my prayers. Please keep us updated on how both you

and your husband are doing.

Rick

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf

Of Bobbi

Sent: Sunday, January 18, 2009 9:23 AM

To:

Subject: Question....

This is something I've been thinking a lot

about this week now knowing that a transplant

for my hubby is in the very near future and that our baby is due in 6 months.

The

likelihood of him getting the work up, getting listed and getting the transplant

before the

baby is born is pretty slim although the transplant will happen at Indiana

University

Hospital, which from what I understand has one of the shortest wait times in

the country.

Anyway, we were talking last night and he says " don't leave me alone after

I have the

transplant. " He HATES being alone at the hospital. Night time is the worst

for him. When

he's been in our local hospital, I've spent the night with him every night.

Now, me being

pregnant and him being an hour away from home, I've not spent the night but I

have pretty

much spent the entire day every day that he's been there (6 days today). And we

found out

yesterday that they don't even allow visitors to spend the night at IU. Anyway,

my fear is

that he's going to get the transplant right after the baby is born. Assuming

that happens,

how on earth do I juggle the high needs of a new born and of my husband who is

frightened and doesn't want to be left alone? The idea of the transplant

doesn't stress me

out as much as worry about how I'm going to juggle everything! In all honesty,

and I'm

sure those who have already been down this road will probably agree, we are

looking

forward to him getting a new liver. It HAS to be better than to be hospitalized

for a week

at a time, being pumped full of antibiotics and poked and prodded constantly

and feeling

awful all the time. I'm sure it's no picnic for a while after the transplant

but at least then

you know better things are coming. Right now, until he gets a new liver, we

just have more

of the same and worst to look forward to. My hope is that maybe he'll get the

transplant

BEFORE the baby comes. That would be great! But as you all know, we are not in

control of

these things.

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Bobbi,

I can understand your stress although I haven't exactly been in your situation. However, when I was worked up for tx my husband decided that he did not want me left alone at night after tx. Of course, in ICU no one can stay and since each nurse only has 2 patients (at my center) that was fine. He sent out an mass email and requested that anyone who could spend the night in my hospital room with me to please let him know. Since my tx center is an hour away from our home like yours is this required extra effort for the "Barby sitters" plus my tx took place in cold and sometimes nasty weather. Regardless we had about 12 people who volunteered including a physician friend of ours, my college roommates and family members. did stay 2 nights because bad weather wouldn't allow travel but by having those volunteers he was able to get home and sleep in his own bed plus check in with our

children 3 of which still live at home. Each of the people who stayed monitored what and when nurses or others came in my room and what they did including which meds were given and when.

So maybe that would be a start in making sure your husband wasn't alone at night. I have serious doubts that the tx center at IU will not allow overnight guests especially when they are staying with the patient to assure that their needs are met.

It won't hurt to plan for his tx but don't spend time worrying about when it will happen. God's timing is always perfect. Was in mine and will be in your husbands.

Blessings,

Barby - KS

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