Guest guest Posted January 18, 2009 Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 This is something I've been thinking a lot about this week now knowing that a transplant for my hubby is in the very near future and that our baby is due in 6 months. The likelihood of him getting the work up, getting listed and getting the transplant before the baby is born is pretty slim although the transplant will happen at Indiana University Hospital, which from what I understand has one of the shortest wait times in the country. Anyway, we were talking last night and he says " don't leave me alone after I have the transplant. " He HATES being alone at the hospital. Night time is the worst for him. When he's been in our local hospital, I've spent the night with him every night. Now, me being pregnant and him being an hour away from home, I've not spent the night but I have pretty much spent the entire day every day that he's been there (6 days today). And we found out yesterday that they don't even allow visitors to spend the night at IU. Anyway, my fear is that he's going to get the transplant right after the baby is born. Assuming that happens, how on earth do I juggle the high needs of a new born and of my husband who is frightened and doesn't want to be left alone? The idea of the transplant doesn't stress me out as much as worry about how I'm going to juggle everything! In all honesty, and I'm sure those who have already been down this road will probably agree, we are looking forward to him getting a new liver. It HAS to be better than to be hospitalized for a week at a time, being pumped full of antibiotics and poked and prodded constantly and feeling awful all the time. I'm sure it's no picnic for a while after the transplant but at least then you know better things are coming. Right now, until he gets a new liver, we just have more of the same and worst to look forward to. My hope is that maybe he'll get the transplant BEFORE the baby comes. That would be great! But as you all know, we are not in control of these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2009 Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 Bobbie, I feel for you, and also for your husband. I’m similar to your husband and don’t like to be left alone at the hospital very much (I’ve had 3 extended stays in my life, twice due to colon surgeries). There is a certain amount of comfort in having another person around to be your advocate when you need it and to do the little things that you hate to bother a nurse for. But, here is the bottom line for your situation: The newborn baby truly does NEED you. There is no-one better to care for a newborn than its’ mother. Your husband WANTS you. The Dr’s and nurses are the ones he will depend on. It will be a juggling act for you for sure because your heart would be torn in 2 directions and you don’t have the ability to be in 2 places at once. I imagine that this situation would be harder on you than on your husband. It might be a good idea to start planning ahead for some help. For example, does your husband have any other close friends or relatives that would be willing to spend a shift with him at the hospital while you are home resting and with the newborn? And, is there anyone that you can trust nearby to watch your newborn for a day here and there? I’m not sure how feasible telephone is for the first few days post transplant, but it might also be a comfort for your husband to just hear your voice (and for you to hear his). Maybe some of the others here have suggestions on what can be done to help pass time and keep your mind occupied while recovering from Tx surgery. I know that when I was recovering from J pouch surgeries (which are no picnic!) it was nice for me to have my laptop and some light movies to watch. I also brought along some cards and played with anyone that was willing. I hope that your husband can get his transplant soon and that everything will go well. And, I also hope that your delivery is smooth and you have a happy, healthy baby to be a blessing to your lives. I will be keeping you both in my prayers. Please keep us updated on how both you and your husband are doing. Rick From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Bobbi Sent: Sunday, January 18, 2009 9:23 AM To: Subject: Question.... This is something I've been thinking a lot about this week now knowing that a transplant for my hubby is in the very near future and that our baby is due in 6 months. The likelihood of him getting the work up, getting listed and getting the transplant before the baby is born is pretty slim although the transplant will happen at Indiana University Hospital, which from what I understand has one of the shortest wait times in the country. Anyway, we were talking last night and he says " don't leave me alone after I have the transplant. " He HATES being alone at the hospital. Night time is the worst for him. When he's been in our local hospital, I've spent the night with him every night. Now, me being pregnant and him being an hour away from home, I've not spent the night but I have pretty much spent the entire day every day that he's been there (6 days today). And we found out yesterday that they don't even allow visitors to spend the night at IU. Anyway, my fear is that he's going to get the transplant right after the baby is born. Assuming that happens, how on earth do I juggle the high needs of a new born and of my husband who is frightened and doesn't want to be left alone? The idea of the transplant doesn't stress me out as much as worry about how I'm going to juggle everything! In all honesty, and I'm sure those who have already been down this road will probably agree, we are looking forward to him getting a new liver. It HAS to be better than to be hospitalized for a week at a time, being pumped full of antibiotics and poked and prodded constantly and feeling awful all the time. I'm sure it's no picnic for a while after the transplant but at least then you know better things are coming. Right now, until he gets a new liver, we just have more of the same and worst to look forward to. My hope is that maybe he'll get the transplant BEFORE the baby comes. That would be great! But as you all know, we are not in control of these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2009 Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 Bobbi, I can understand your stress although I haven't exactly been in your situation. However, when I was worked up for tx my husband decided that he did not want me left alone at night after tx. Of course, in ICU no one can stay and since each nurse only has 2 patients (at my center) that was fine. He sent out an mass email and requested that anyone who could spend the night in my hospital room with me to please let him know. Since my tx center is an hour away from our home like yours is this required extra effort for the "Barby sitters" plus my tx took place in cold and sometimes nasty weather. Regardless we had about 12 people who volunteered including a physician friend of ours, my college roommates and family members. did stay 2 nights because bad weather wouldn't allow travel but by having those volunteers he was able to get home and sleep in his own bed plus check in with our children 3 of which still live at home. Each of the people who stayed monitored what and when nurses or others came in my room and what they did including which meds were given and when. So maybe that would be a start in making sure your husband wasn't alone at night. I have serious doubts that the tx center at IU will not allow overnight guests especially when they are staying with the patient to assure that their needs are met. It won't hurt to plan for his tx but don't spend time worrying about when it will happen. God's timing is always perfect. Was in mine and will be in your husbands. Blessings, Barby - KS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.