Guest guest Posted July 15, 2002 Report Share Posted July 15, 2002 In church Sunday the priest was talking about his two years in China in the underground Catholic Church. He asked for us to consider opening our homes to adopt a chinese girl...and my own kids turned to me asking if we could. Boy, what a decision. How will having FM interfere with me having another child. I have wanted one more child since I was 29 when I had to have a sudden hysterectomy. My oldest two will be in college in a year, my youngest is 13. He thinks it would be great and he always wanted to get to know someone from another country. It would be a dream come true! But will they turn me down because I'm not as physically active at 42 with FM. Yet, I do more outside things than most moms on our street, they don't know I wake up hurting every morning. My neighbor across the street has tried for years to have a baby and wants to join me in adopting so the girls would have peers to grow up with if we decide we can do it. Then the money issue. I don't make much money teaching my classes and hosting my website. I'd have to see about fund raising to cover the expenses etc. So am I crazy to follow a dream and do it or admit my limitations and just help my neighbor? My husband's mother was 48 when he surprised them... please keep us in your prayers and let me know your suggestions! I'm afraid to tell my parents, they know I'm wonderful with kids but know I struggle with flairs at times. Blessings, Marie www.anaturalplace.com ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2002 Report Share Posted July 15, 2002 In church Sunday the priest was talking about his two years in China in the underground Catholic Church. He asked for us to consider opening our homes to adopt a chinese girl...and my own kids turned to me asking if we could. Boy, what a decision. How will having FM interfere with me having another child. I have wanted one more child since I was 29 when I had to have a sudden hysterectomy. My oldest two will be in college in a year, my youngest is 13. He thinks it would be great and he always wanted to get to know someone from another country. It would be a dream come true! But will they turn me down because I'm not as physically active at 42 with FM. Yet, I do more outside things than most moms on our street, they don't know I wake up hurting every morning. My neighbor across the street has tried for years to have a baby and wants to join me in adopting so the girls would have peers to grow up with if we decide we can do it. Then the money issue. I don't make much money teaching my classes and hosting my website. I'd have to see about fund raising to cover the expenses etc. So am I crazy to follow a dream and do it or admit my limitations and just help my neighbor? My husband's mother was 48 when he surprised them... please keep us in your prayers and let me know your suggestions! I'm afraid to tell my parents, they know I'm wonderful with kids but know I struggle with flairs at times. Blessings, Marie www.anaturalplace.com ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2002 Report Share Posted July 15, 2002 ---I would think being at home would be the ideal for adopting a child. Go for it. It could be the most rewarding experience of your life. In @y..., mausden@j... wrote: > In church Sunday the priest was talking about his two years in China in > the underground Catholic Church. He asked for us to consider opening our > homes to adopt a chinese girl...and my own kids turned to me asking if we > could. Boy, what a decision. How will having FM interfere with me having > another child. I have wanted one more child since I was 29 when I had to > have a sudden hysterectomy. My oldest two will be in college in a year, > my youngest is 13. He thinks it would be great and he always wanted to > get to know someone from another country. It would be a dream come true! > But will they turn me down because I'm not as physically active at 42 > with FM. Yet, I do more outside things than most moms on our street, they > don't know I wake up hurting every morning. My neighbor across the street > has tried for years to have a baby and wants to join me in adopting so > the girls would have peers to grow up with if we decide we can do it. > Then the money issue. I don't make much money teaching my classes and > hosting my website. I'd have to see about fund raising to cover the > expenses etc. > > So am I crazy to follow a dream and do it or admit my limitations and > just help my neighbor? My husband's mother was 48 when he surprised > them... > > please keep us in your prayers and let me know your suggestions! I'm > afraid to tell my parents, they know I'm wonderful with kids but know I > struggle with flairs at times. > > Blessings, > Marie > > www.anaturalplace.com > > ________________________________________________________________ > GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! > Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! > Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: > http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 15, 2002 Report Share Posted July 15, 2002 ---I would think being at home would be the ideal for adopting a child. Go for it. It could be the most rewarding experience of your life. In @y..., mausden@j... wrote: > In church Sunday the priest was talking about his two years in China in > the underground Catholic Church. He asked for us to consider opening our > homes to adopt a chinese girl...and my own kids turned to me asking if we > could. Boy, what a decision. How will having FM interfere with me having > another child. I have wanted one more child since I was 29 when I had to > have a sudden hysterectomy. My oldest two will be in college in a year, > my youngest is 13. He thinks it would be great and he always wanted to > get to know someone from another country. It would be a dream come true! > But will they turn me down because I'm not as physically active at 42 > with FM. Yet, I do more outside things than most moms on our street, they > don't know I wake up hurting every morning. My neighbor across the street > has tried for years to have a baby and wants to join me in adopting so > the girls would have peers to grow up with if we decide we can do it. > Then the money issue. I don't make much money teaching my classes and > hosting my website. I'd have to see about fund raising to cover the > expenses etc. > > So am I crazy to follow a dream and do it or admit my limitations and > just help my neighbor? My husband's mother was 48 when he surprised > them... > > please keep us in your prayers and let me know your suggestions! I'm > afraid to tell my parents, they know I'm wonderful with kids but know I > struggle with flairs at times. > > Blessings, > Marie > > www.anaturalplace.com > > ________________________________________________________________ > GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! > Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! > Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: > http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2002 Report Share Posted July 17, 2002 Marie, I am going to be one or maybe the only one, that thinks adopting would be a mistake. Having fibro makes it difficult to do the things that we want to do and we have the freedom, at least, most of the time to say no, I can't do that. With a baby you can't do that. I remember how hard it was taking care of a baby when I was young and healthy. I couldn't do it today. When you have a flare, how could you help your baby. It doesn't matter if it is a flare ever now and then, it is still a flare. And there is fibro fog. You could easily forget to do something that needed to be done for the child. I know that I am going to, once again, be jumped on for what I have said but if you ask a question, then you get an answer. Not always to your liking. > In @y..., mausden@j... wrote: > > In church Sunday the priest was talking about his two years in > China in > > the underground Catholic Church. He asked for us to consider > opening our > > homes to adopt a chinese girl...and my own kids turned to me asking > if we > > could. Boy, what a decision. How will having FM interfere with me > having > > another child. I have wanted one more child since I was 29 when I > had to > > have a sudden hysterectomy. My oldest two will be in college in a > year, > > my youngest is 13. He thinks it would be great and he always wanted > to > > get to know someone from another country. It would be a dream come > true! > > But will they turn me down because I'm not as physically active at > 42 > > with FM. Yet, I do more outside things than most moms on our > street, they > > don't know I wake up hurting every morning. My neighbor across the > street > > has tried for years to have a baby and wants to join me in adopting > so > > the girls would have peers to grow up with if we decide we can do > it. > > Then the money issue. I don't make much money teaching my classes > and > > hosting my website. I'd have to see about fund raising to cover the > > expenses etc. > > > > So am I crazy to follow a dream and do it or admit my limitations > and > > just help my neighbor? My husband's mother was 48 when he surprised > > them... > > > > please keep us in your prayers and let me know your suggestions! I'm > > afraid to tell my parents, they know I'm wonderful with kids but > know I > > struggle with flairs at times. > > > > Blessings, > > Marie > Take care, Irene Books may well be the only true magic Alice Hoffman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 Sweet Katlin wrote: > > I don't think giving a child a home and love is a mistake. Yes, we can't do everything we want, but offering a child love even when we feel cruddy is possible. I have 4 children myself and most of the time my 2 year old neice. When I feel so bad and don't want to get out of bed I know that my day will > be full of joy because of my children. I think you're right you can always offer a child love, but how about physically taking care of them? (I'm not specifically referring to you, just people in general.) In my mind, it's more a matter of " will this child get physically taken care of " . If the future parent is in the middle of a flare, can she physically get up to deal with the child on a regular basis? Will the spouse do his fair share of child care or do they travel on a regular basis so there isn't a lot of back up? Is there a close family member or friend willing to help out for a day or two? If the baby keeps you up a lot at night, day in and day out, can you handle the extra pain this might bring? In my mind, those are the kinds of questions to be asking yourself first. Then if you think you have pretty good answers for those kinds of questions, then I think adding a child becomes a much easier decision. I don't think you have to be able to take the kids to the park on a regular basis, or set up play dates twice a week to be able to be a good mother. Love goes a long way to help with the disappointment of missing going to the movies because mom got a flare. Setting up a family movie and watching from the sofa may be a great second choice. I just think that careful planning on how you're going to deal with the physical care is (as best you can plan those kinds of things, yes unforeseen things do come up), needs to be step one. Just my opinion which may or may not be worth two cents. Darcy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 Sweet Katlin wrote: > > I don't think giving a child a home and love is a mistake. Yes, we can't do everything we want, but offering a child love even when we feel cruddy is possible. I have 4 children myself and most of the time my 2 year old neice. When I feel so bad and don't want to get out of bed I know that my day will > be full of joy because of my children. I think you're right you can always offer a child love, but how about physically taking care of them? (I'm not specifically referring to you, just people in general.) In my mind, it's more a matter of " will this child get physically taken care of " . If the future parent is in the middle of a flare, can she physically get up to deal with the child on a regular basis? Will the spouse do his fair share of child care or do they travel on a regular basis so there isn't a lot of back up? Is there a close family member or friend willing to help out for a day or two? If the baby keeps you up a lot at night, day in and day out, can you handle the extra pain this might bring? In my mind, those are the kinds of questions to be asking yourself first. Then if you think you have pretty good answers for those kinds of questions, then I think adding a child becomes a much easier decision. I don't think you have to be able to take the kids to the park on a regular basis, or set up play dates twice a week to be able to be a good mother. Love goes a long way to help with the disappointment of missing going to the movies because mom got a flare. Setting up a family movie and watching from the sofa may be a great second choice. I just think that careful planning on how you're going to deal with the physical care is (as best you can plan those kinds of things, yes unforeseen things do come up), needs to be step one. Just my opinion which may or may not be worth two cents. Darcy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2002 Report Share Posted July 18, 2002 Sweet Katlin wrote: > > I don't think giving a child a home and love is a mistake. Yes, we can't do everything we want, but offering a child love even when we feel cruddy is possible. I have 4 children myself and most of the time my 2 year old neice. When I feel so bad and don't want to get out of bed I know that my day will > be full of joy because of my children. I think you're right you can always offer a child love, but how about physically taking care of them? (I'm not specifically referring to you, just people in general.) In my mind, it's more a matter of " will this child get physically taken care of " . If the future parent is in the middle of a flare, can she physically get up to deal with the child on a regular basis? Will the spouse do his fair share of child care or do they travel on a regular basis so there isn't a lot of back up? Is there a close family member or friend willing to help out for a day or two? If the baby keeps you up a lot at night, day in and day out, can you handle the extra pain this might bring? In my mind, those are the kinds of questions to be asking yourself first. Then if you think you have pretty good answers for those kinds of questions, then I think adding a child becomes a much easier decision. I don't think you have to be able to take the kids to the park on a regular basis, or set up play dates twice a week to be able to be a good mother. Love goes a long way to help with the disappointment of missing going to the movies because mom got a flare. Setting up a family movie and watching from the sofa may be a great second choice. I just think that careful planning on how you're going to deal with the physical care is (as best you can plan those kinds of things, yes unforeseen things do come up), needs to be step one. Just my opinion which may or may not be worth two cents. Darcy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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