Sleep problems

August 16, 2002

Allicia,

I think I understand where you are at. For years I have been so sleepy that

I can't read a book or watch tv. The minute I sit down I start to fall asleep.

Often I fall asleep at the computer while I am typing and I snap awake and see

that I have typed gibberish. Sometimes it takes me several minutes to write a

small email and then I have to get up and find something else to do. In order

to stay awake I have stayed on my feet never sitting down except of course to go

to the bathroom! But staying on my feet for 10-14 hours per day has contributed

to my constantly painful feet problems. I used to really enjoy reading, but I

can't do it anymore. The second my head hits the pillow I am out like a light.

The problem that I have is that I am constantly aware of my surroundings and

never feel like I am asleep. My family is insistant on watching tv til all

hours and no matter what room I try to lay down in it seems someone is watching

tv. My husband gets mad if I shut off the tv or ask that it be shut off. He

thinks I am being selfish even though I have tried to explain how hard it is for

me to sleep proper with the tv on. What happens to me is that I dream about

what's on tv, but in my dreams things get all messed up. Like the night that

Roy died I dreampt that it was someone else. I can't remember who

anymore, but I got up and told someone that this other person had died. See I

can't even tell the difference often times if I am awake or asleep. I will

dream conversations with my husband or children or other people and the next day

I have to think very hard to try and decide if the conversations were real or

not. Because I dream nearly all night every night I wake up feeling just

exhausted and like I really did all the things in my dreams! I have some dreams

that just come over and over and if I do wake up I just fall back to sleep and

dream the same dreams with a hundred minor variances. Often times in my dreams

I am completely aware that I am dreaming and I can manipulate the dreams and

make them go any which way I want. It's very strange.

The ironic thing is, that when I am awake late at night I can have a real

conversation with someone and the next day they will tell me all about it and I

won't remember. I had some very scary times when I was letting daycare children

out. Their mothers would come in the middle of the night and I would forget

that I let them out. A couple of times I had to call them in the middle of the

night freaked at not remembering when I let them go home. Their mothers would

tell me we stood there and had a conversations. I swear people I have never

taken a drink in my life! Fortunately these mothers knew that I was sleep

deprived and they trusted me. Sometimes my children or my husband would be up

late watching tv so I could ask them if I let so and so out.

My sleep disorder centers around getting up to go to the bathroom anywhere

from 2-10 times per night. On top of that I will have to change my daughter at

least once in the night. The cat will wake me up by stepping on my hair at

least twice. My husband will fling his leg on me waking me up at least 2-3

times. The television or some freaky dream will wake me up 1-5 times per night.

After years of answering the door I will wake up and still wonder if I have kids

to let out or if my older kids need checked on. I sleep with my 2 year old so I

don't have to worry over her, but I still do.

For many years I tried sleeping in another room on the couch. But my

husband always thinks I am mad at him and then our relationship gets all out of

whack. I am trying really hard not to do that though I have slept on the couch

a couple of times lately. I just wish my family knew how much I need real

sleep! The other night I took a sleeping pill. I still woke up a lot of times,

but I just felt horribly groggy when I needed to go to the bathroom and my mouth

was dry. The next day I felt even more tired and groggy, so what's the point?

I am pretty much convinced that these sleep issues have brought on my other

problems.

Funny thing is, I feel really good when I sleep. I love getting to the end

of the day so I have a legitimate excuse to lay down. I would sleep during the

day if I could, but my husband would also come unglued if I didn't get enough

done.

ttyl

Suzi

August 19, 2002

> Allicia,

> I think I understand where you are at. For years I have been

so sleepy that I can't read a book or watch tv. The minute I sit

down I start to fall asleep. Often I fall asleep at the computer

while I am typing and I snap awake and see that I have typed

gibberish. Sometimes it takes me several minutes to write a small

email and then I have to get up and find something else to do. In

order to stay awake I have stayed on my feet never sitting down

except of course to go to the bathroom! But staying on my feet for

10-14 hours per day has contributed to my constantly painful feet

problems. I used to really enjoy reading, but I can't do it

anymore. The second my head hits the pillow I am out like a light.

The problem that I have is that I am constantly aware of my

surroundings and never feel like I am asleep. My family is

insistant on watching tv til all hours and no matter what room I try

to lay down in it seems someone is watching tv. My husband gets mad

if I shut off the tv or ask that it be shut off. He thinks I am

being selfish even though I have tried to explain how hard it is for

me to sleep proper with the tv on. What happens to me is that I

dream about what's on tv, but in my dreams things get all messed

up. Like the night that Roy died I dreampt that it was

someone else. I can't remember who anymore, but I got up and told

someone that this other person had died. See I can't even tell the

difference often times if I am awake or asleep. I will dream

conversations with my husband or children or other people and the

next day I have to think very hard to try and decide if the

conversations were real or not. Because I dream nearly all night

every night I wake up feeling just exhausted and like I really did

all the things in my dreams! I have some dreams that just come over

and over and if I do wake up I just fall back to sleep and dream the

same dreams with a hundred minor variances. Often times in my

dreams I am completely aware that I am dreaming and I can manipulate

the dreams and make them go any which way I want. It's very

strange.

>

> The ironic thing is, that when I am awake late at night I can

have a real conversation with someone and the next day they will

tell me all about it and I won't remember. I had some very scary

times when I was letting daycare children out. Their mothers would

come in the middle of the night and I would forget that I let them

out. A couple of times I had to call them in the middle of the

night freaked at not remembering when I let them go home. Their

mothers would tell me we stood there and had a conversations. I

swear people I have never taken a drink in my life! Fortunately

these mothers knew that I was sleep deprived and they trusted me.

Sometimes my children or my husband would be up late watching tv so

I could ask them if I let so and so out.

>

> My sleep disorder centers around getting up to go to the

bathroom anywhere from 2-10 times per night. On top of that I will

have to change my daughter at least once in the night. The cat will

wake me up by stepping on my hair at least twice. My husband will

fling his leg on me waking me up at least 2-3 times. The television

or some freaky dream will wake me up 1-5 times per night. After

years of answering the door I will wake up and still wonder if I

have kids to let out or if my older kids need checked on. I sleep

with my 2 year old so I don't have to worry over her, but I still

do.

>

> For many years I tried sleeping in another room on the couch.

But my husband always thinks I am mad at him and then our

relationship gets all out of whack. I am trying really hard not to

do that though I have slept on the couch a couple of times lately.

I just wish my family knew how much I need real sleep! The other

night I took a sleeping pill. I still woke up a lot of times, but I

just felt horribly groggy when I needed to go to the bathroom and my

mouth was dry. The next day I felt even more tired and groggy, so

what's the point?

>

> I am pretty much convinced that these sleep issues have

brought on my other problems.

>

> Funny thing is, I feel really good when I sleep. I love

getting to the end of the day so I have a legitimate excuse to lay

down. I would sleep during the day if I could, but my husband would

also come unglued if I didn't get enough done.

>

> ttyl

> Suzi

Suzi,

I can so relate to your sleep problems. Especially about your

husband not wanting to shut off the t.v. It drives me crazy. I

want to scream and tell him " your making me sick! " I mean it

literally. I have finally come out of the CFS and the Fibro is

undercontrol w/tramadol. It's the sleep problem that I just can't

seem to overcome. I lay there at night and listen to eveything for

hours. I'm in college so I can't afford to have this fibro fog

business. I just don't know what to do. Your letter read like

something I would write. Good luck.

August 19, 2002