Re: What I gain from having Fibro

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/29/2002 3:58:08 PM US Eastern Standard Time,

laurafernando@... writes:

> Having fibro has taught me to say " no "

You would think having Fibro would teach me this too, but I think its made it

worse...in a sence...that everyone is expecting me to not be able to do

something, so I feel like I have to prove them wrong to do it..sometimes..not

all the time..if they wanted me to pick up a 20 lb rock I'd tell em hell

no...but simple things...I feel I have to do them...especially people whom I

love and care for.

I personally agree with the body, mind, spirit....the reason I say this...is

because when I decided to go " no mail " a year ago...I started to heal my

spirit and to feel better about myself mentally..and I started to feel better

physically as well....I also start feeling TONS worse when I'm stressed...I'm

convienced thats why I'm in the HUGE flare I'm in right now.....I've got a

b/f that causes stress, bills waaayyyy past due...and no money...so therefore

I've got a million, billion people call'n me want'n money..

As was stated before this is my experince only..not trying to pass anything

or pound anything into anyone's head...just my experiences being told ;o)

Allicia

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

I have CFS. I can really relate to your bit about the childhood abuse. I

always

wanted to make everyone happy too. Or try to save people (like my mother) from

alcoholism. In my case I often wonder if my health problems, especially my

asthma, stem from the environment I grew up in. My mother drank and smoked

when she was pregnant with me. As a child I was exposed to cigarrette smoke

and marijuanna smoke. I often wonder if I'd be healthy if my mother didn't

treat her body bad when she was carrying me. Well even if I knew the answer

I can't change the past and I guess I'm lucky I'm more or less normal as there

are worse things that can happen to people who's mothers drank while they were

pregnant.

I suffer from the suicidality sometimes. I don't think about it daily like

I used to, but when I have a really bad day the thoughts creep into my mind.

How did you manage to give up your suicidality?

~Jen

I thought the post about what people have to gain from their sickness is very

interesting.  I'll give 2 examples how I've felt this impact in my life.

Last summer, I was going through a very dark period in my life and was in and

out of suicidality.  My psychiatrist and I had several discussions about what

I gained from being suicidal.  What I gained was having that " quick fix. " As

a recovering bulemic and alcoholic who was clean/abstinent for the first time

since I was 8 - I knew the answer.  Suicidality had become my drug of choice. 

As I gave up my suicidality, I was forced to learn how to deal with day to day

life without any easy outs.

I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.  My *theory* about why I (and

no one else) have fibro is that it is a result of all the physical and emotional

trauma held in my body.  As an ultimate people pleaser, I kept running myself

into the ground.  I could never make room to heal.  I could not say " no " to

people - especially those I loved.

Having fibro has taught me to say " no " and it has opened up the doors for me

to allow others to take care of me (I was always the caretaker.) As I find ways

to manage my fibro, I risk other people beginning to expect more of me.  My

personal challenge is learning to say " no " simply b/c I want to and not b/c

I'm too tired, too achy, etc.

Does this mean fibro is all in my head?  Well, in my view, yes (kind of.) I'm

a firm believer that body, mind and spirit cannot be seperated.  How we think

about ourselves - how we love - or don't love - ourselves influences how we

feel in our physical bodies.  As I'm learning to love myself and heal from old

wounds, I find my fibro is more easily managed.  As I get sucked into vortices

of stress, I find my fibro worsens.

I want to make sure to qualify the above my saying it is *my opinion* -- it

is what works for *me*.  Take what you want and leave the rest. 

There are as many paths to healing as there are people on the journey.

Thanks for " listening " ,

---------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Jen &

I have CFS/Fibro/Hypoglycemia and I can relate to both of you because I went

through similar things an alcoholic mother who also smoked cigs/pot/ and drank

while pregnant w/ me, physically/mentally abusive step father, being molested by

a close non blood related realtive, just a lot of mental and physical abuse and

I always held everything in all my life and have had suicidal periods. I too

always tried to please everyone and still do, I feel extremely guilty if I lay

down to rest or anything. I just for some reason feel I don't deserve to, but

thats my moms doing because she always said that I was selfish/lazy/and I

thought the world revolved around me, so it is like I am trying to prove

something somehow by depriving myself of what I need.

Anyway sorry to babble/ramble I seem to go off on tangents and forget the point

I am trying to get at which is that I know where you are coming from and I too

think that a lot of my problems come from the way I deal with the world around

me as well as how I have taken care of myself inside and out. I have neglected

myself mentally and spiritually long enough and now my body is shutting down , I

guess it is a wake up call.

Re: What I gain from having Fibro

Hello ,

I have CFS. I can really relate to your bit about the childhood abuse. I

always

wanted to make everyone happy too. Or try to save people (like my mother)

from

alcoholism. In my case I often wonder if my health problems, especially my

asthma, stem from the environment I grew up in. My mother drank and smoked

when she was pregnant with me. As a child I was exposed to cigarrette smoke

and marijuanna smoke. I often wonder if I'd be healthy if my mother didn't

treat her body bad when she was carrying me. Well even if I knew the answer

I can't change the past and I guess I'm lucky I'm more or less normal as there

are worse things that can happen to people who's mothers drank while they were

pregnant.

I suffer from the suicidality sometimes. I don't think about it daily like

I used to, but when I have a really bad day the thoughts creep into my mind.

How did you manage to give up your suicidality?

~Jen

I thought the post about what people have to gain from their sickness is very

interesting. I'll give 2 examples how I've felt this impact in my life.

Last summer, I was going through a very dark period in my life and was in and

out of suicidality. My psychiatrist and I had several discussions about what

I gained from being suicidal. What I gained was having that " quick fix. " As

a recovering bulemic and alcoholic who was clean/abstinent for the first time

since I was 8 - I knew the answer. Suicidality had become my drug of choice.

As I gave up my suicidality, I was forced to learn how to deal with day to day

life without any easy outs.

I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My *theory* about why I (and

no one else) have fibro is that it is a result of all the physical and

emotional

trauma held in my body. As an ultimate people pleaser, I kept running myself

into the ground. I could never make room to heal. I could not say " no " to

people - especially those I loved.

Having fibro has taught me to say " no " and it has opened up the doors for me

to allow others to take care of me (I was always the caretaker.) As I find

ways

to manage my fibro, I risk other people beginning to expect more of me. My

personal challenge is learning to say " no " simply b/c I want to and not b/c

I'm too tired, too achy, etc.

Does this mean fibro is all in my head? Well, in my view, yes (kind of.) I'm

a firm believer that body, mind and spirit cannot be seperated. How we think

about ourselves - how we love - or don't love - ourselves influences how we

feel in our physical bodies. As I'm learning to love myself and heal from old

wounds, I find my fibro is more easily managed. As I get sucked into vortices

of stress, I find my fibro worsens.

I want to make sure to qualify the above my saying it is *my opinion* -- it

is what works for *me*. Take what you want and leave the rest.

There are as many paths to healing as there are people on the journey.

Thanks for " listening " ,

---------------------------------