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You

explained that so well ! That is so true! We must grieve for our old

selves. I went through that when my lupus was dxed and I got real sick. I

adjusted and cut my work hours, got meds and tried to get a handle on my anger.

After my cancer made me so sick and I got Fibro and arthritis I had a real,

real long grieving process! I still get depressed and angry but not as often. I

too have spend many hours trying to avoid the bed (it was calling out to me) some days I hate to get up. Almost every night

I hate to try to sleep, the pain gets worse and I toss and turn.

From: Carey

Sent: Thursday, July 29, 2004 9:30

AM

To: LUPIES

Subject: TO MEG AND LISA/

DEPRESSED

, and Meg,

I think

we all go through this ......I refer to it as grieving for a lost loved one,

" ..OUR OLD SELVES " we tend to go through the grieving process

as if we have lost a loved one, and in a sense we have.

I

will go through all the different aspects....disbelief, anger, pain,

depression, and then finally to a sort of Peace .....and in this state we are

finally able to survive and go on even though some days are harder than

others......You are going to find a few really good days to look back on .

I also

find it helpful to remember and cherish the times when I still had the

" OLD ME " instead of grieving for them.

I still

have days like you describe......just spending the whole day yearning for

bedtime when i can sleep and forget .

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