REAL funny things written

[Guest guest]

**

Actual Headlines **

~ March Planned For Next

August

~ Blind Bishop Appointed To

See

~ Lingerie Shipment Hijacked

-- Thief Gives Police The

Slip

~ L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By

Landslide

~ Patient At Death's

Door--Doctors Pull Him Through

~ Latin Course To Be

Canceled--No Interest Among Students,

Et Al.

~ Diaper Market Bottoms

Out

~ Croupiers On Strike;

Management Says: " No Big Deal "

~ Stadium Air Conditioning

Fails -- Fans Protest

~ Queen Having Bottom

Scraped

~ Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters

~ Teacher Strikes Idle

Kids

~ Lawyers Give Poor Free

Legal Advice

~ Juvenile Court to Try

Shooting Defendant

~ Fund Set Up for Beating

Victim's Kin

~ Killer Sentenced to Die

for Second Time in 10 Years

~ Cancer Society Honors

Marlboro Man

~ Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out

Literacy

~ 20-Year Friendship Ends at

Altar

~ War Dims Hope For Peace

~ If Strike Isn't Settled

Quickly, It May Last A While

~ Cold Wave Linked to

Temperatures

~ Half of U.S. High

Schools Require Some Study for

Graduation

~ Blind Woman Gets New

Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen

in Years

~ Man is Fatally Slain

~ Death Causes Loneliness,

Feelings of Isolation

~ Defendants Speech Ends in

Long Sentence

~ Police Begin Campaign to

Run Down Jaywalkers

~ Police Discover Crack in Australia

~ Stiff Opposition Expected

to Casketless Funeral Plan

~ Collegians are Turning to

Vegetables

~ Scientists to Have Ford's

Ear

~ Hershey Bars Protest

~ County Officials

to Talk Rubbish

~ Plans Swell

Deficit

~ Caribbean

Islands Drift to Left

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