Re: Letter to normals.. no help

[Guest guest]

Dear nne,

I had the same response from my Mother concerning the " letter to

the normals " ; however, my situation is far less stressful than yours.

I'm not married and my children are teens. So, I'd like to suggest

that he read your letter! It comes form your heart; it is filled with

love for your family, and the stress, hurt, and a little fear-of-the-

unknown about your health.

Your husband married you--for better or worse, in sickness and

health... When I was married, my doc finally made my husband come in

and be apart of certain procedures as it applied to the cancer and

search for more. It is funny...after watching my colonoscopy, I

received alot more courtesy as it applied to my health (even through

the divorce!).

I hope this helps.

In Light and Love,

> Thanks to the few who replied to my post. One of you suggested

that

> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " . The only problem w/ this is

that

> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of view that I

don't

> identify with. If you read the letter, it is from the perspective

of

> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia. It sounds like

the

> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at all.. not even go

> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them. I have

> fibromyalgia, but not to this point. I want him to understand that

I

> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time, that sometimes

I

> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much. I want him to be

> recognize what I am going through.

>

> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with. When he has

the

> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps.. in a chair or

> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down. A few months back,

one

> of my toddlers got the stomach flu. He got it too. He took off

work

> and stayed home in bed. He went back to work.. I got it. With

> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102 temp. and the

> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care of the babies,

> and didn't want to take another day off of work. This is the

> sympathy I get when I'm sick. I just keep going and going..

> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore. I'm sopposed to

> relax... whatever. Anyways... my point is:

>

> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only prove his point

> that " I " m not that bad " . Obviously, someone w/ real pain is much

> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all. Does anyone

> have any other ideas of how I can get through to him. He thinks

that

> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain will be gone

and

> I'll be fixed. He's clueless and it's really hurting my feellings

> and stressing me out. I work really hard.. part time job... 2

> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up their mess all over

> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around... entertainging

them

> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ... like lazy when

he

> comes home and the toys are all over the floor because I'm simply

> hurting too much to do anymore. Picking stuff off the floor all

over

> is just too much for me to handle. Anywayss.... someone has to

have

> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but isn't very

> sympathetic. Thanks... nne

[Guest guest]

Dear nne,

I had the same response from my Mother concerning the " letter to

the normals " ; however, my situation is far less stressful than yours.

I'm not married and my children are teens. So, I'd like to suggest

that he read your letter! It comes form your heart; it is filled with

love for your family, and the stress, hurt, and a little fear-of-the-

unknown about your health.

Your husband married you--for better or worse, in sickness and

health... When I was married, my doc finally made my husband come in

and be apart of certain procedures as it applied to the cancer and

search for more. It is funny...after watching my colonoscopy, I

received alot more courtesy as it applied to my health (even through

the divorce!).

I hope this helps.

In Light and Love,

> Thanks to the few who replied to my post. One of you suggested

that

> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " . The only problem w/ this is

that

> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of view that I

don't

> identify with. If you read the letter, it is from the perspective

of

> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia. It sounds like

the

> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at all.. not even go

> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them. I have

> fibromyalgia, but not to this point. I want him to understand that

I

> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time, that sometimes

I

> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much. I want him to be

> recognize what I am going through.

>

> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with. When he has

the

> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps.. in a chair or

> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down. A few months back,

one

> of my toddlers got the stomach flu. He got it too. He took off

work

> and stayed home in bed. He went back to work.. I got it. With

> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102 temp. and the

> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care of the babies,

> and didn't want to take another day off of work. This is the

> sympathy I get when I'm sick. I just keep going and going..

> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore. I'm sopposed to

> relax... whatever. Anyways... my point is:

>

> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only prove his point

> that " I " m not that bad " . Obviously, someone w/ real pain is much

> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all. Does anyone

> have any other ideas of how I can get through to him. He thinks

that

> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain will be gone

and

> I'll be fixed. He's clueless and it's really hurting my feellings

> and stressing me out. I work really hard.. part time job... 2

> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up their mess all over

> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around... entertainging

them

> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ... like lazy when

he

> comes home and the toys are all over the floor because I'm simply

> hurting too much to do anymore. Picking stuff off the floor all

over

> is just too much for me to handle. Anywayss.... someone has to

have

> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but isn't very

> sympathetic. Thanks... nne

[Guest guest]

Dear nne,

I had the same response from my Mother concerning the " letter to

the normals " ; however, my situation is far less stressful than yours.

I'm not married and my children are teens. So, I'd like to suggest

that he read your letter! It comes form your heart; it is filled with

love for your family, and the stress, hurt, and a little fear-of-the-

unknown about your health.

Your husband married you--for better or worse, in sickness and

health... When I was married, my doc finally made my husband come in

and be apart of certain procedures as it applied to the cancer and

search for more. It is funny...after watching my colonoscopy, I

received alot more courtesy as it applied to my health (even through

the divorce!).

I hope this helps.

In Light and Love,

> Thanks to the few who replied to my post. One of you suggested

that

> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " . The only problem w/ this is

that

> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of view that I

don't

> identify with. If you read the letter, it is from the perspective

of

> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia. It sounds like

the

> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at all.. not even go

> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them. I have

> fibromyalgia, but not to this point. I want him to understand that

I

> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time, that sometimes

I

> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much. I want him to be

> recognize what I am going through.

>

> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with. When he has

the

> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps.. in a chair or

> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down. A few months back,

one

> of my toddlers got the stomach flu. He got it too. He took off

work

> and stayed home in bed. He went back to work.. I got it. With

> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102 temp. and the

> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care of the babies,

> and didn't want to take another day off of work. This is the

> sympathy I get when I'm sick. I just keep going and going..

> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore. I'm sopposed to

> relax... whatever. Anyways... my point is:

>

> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only prove his point

> that " I " m not that bad " . Obviously, someone w/ real pain is much

> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all. Does anyone

> have any other ideas of how I can get through to him. He thinks

that

> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain will be gone

and

> I'll be fixed. He's clueless and it's really hurting my feellings

> and stressing me out. I work really hard.. part time job... 2

> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up their mess all over

> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around... entertainging

them

> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ... like lazy when

he

> comes home and the toys are all over the floor because I'm simply

> hurting too much to do anymore. Picking stuff off the floor all

over

> is just too much for me to handle. Anywayss.... someone has to

have

> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but isn't very

> sympathetic. Thanks... nne

[Guest guest]

Have you tried letting him read a letter you've written? How about

reading him a few choice bits from these posts so he can see that you

have a medical problem that is shared by others, you aren't lazy!

Darcy

[Guest guest]

Have you tried letting him read a letter you've written? How about

reading him a few choice bits from these posts so he can see that you

have a medical problem that is shared by others, you aren't lazy!

Darcy

[Guest guest]

Hi nne,

Let him pick the toys off of the floor. Nobody needs

to be put down. We have enough problems without being

hassled. I am sorry that you have to go through this.

I hope things get better.

Have a wonderful day nne!

Lonnie in Soonerland

--- marench2000 marench@...> wrote:

> Thanks to the few who replied to my post. One of

> you suggested that

> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " . The only

> problem w/ this is that

> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of

> view that I don't

> identify with. If you read the letter, it is from

> the perspective of

> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia.

> It sounds like the

> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at

> all.. not even go

> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them.

> I have

> fibromyalgia, but not to this point. I want him to

> understand that I

> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time,

> that sometimes I

> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much. I

> want him to be

> recognize what I am going through.

>

> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with.

> When he has the

> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps..

> in a chair or

> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down. A few

> months back, one

> of my toddlers got the stomach flu. He got it too.

> He took off work

> and stayed home in bed. He went back to work.. I

> got it. With

> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102

> temp. and the

> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care

> of the babies,

> and didn't want to take another day off of work.

> This is the

> sympathy I get when I'm sick. I just keep going and

> going..

> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore. I'm

> sopposed to

> relax... whatever. Anyways... my point is:

>

> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only

> prove his point

> that " I " m not that bad " . Obviously, someone w/ real

> pain is much

> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all.

> Does anyone

> have any other ideas of how I can get through to

> him. He thinks that

> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain

> will be gone and

> I'll be fixed. He's clueless and it's really

> hurting my feellings

> and stressing me out. I work really hard.. part

> time job... 2

> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up

> their mess all over

> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around...

> entertainging them

> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ...

> like lazy when he

> comes home and the toys are all over the floor

> because I'm simply

> hurting too much to do anymore. Picking stuff off

> the floor all over

> is just too much for me to handle. Anywayss....

> someone has to have

> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but

> isn't very

> sympathetic. Thanks... nne

>

>

=====

ABOUT ME!

http://www.geocities.com/loontoon4/to_hell_and_back

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ArthritisNewsletter

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi nne,

Let him pick the toys off of the floor. Nobody needs

to be put down. We have enough problems without being

hassled. I am sorry that you have to go through this.

I hope things get better.

Have a wonderful day nne!

Lonnie in Soonerland

--- marench2000 marench@...> wrote:

> Thanks to the few who replied to my post. One of

> you suggested that

> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " . The only

> problem w/ this is that

> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of

> view that I don't

> identify with. If you read the letter, it is from

> the perspective of

> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia.

> It sounds like the

> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at

> all.. not even go

> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them.

> I have

> fibromyalgia, but not to this point. I want him to

> understand that I

> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time,

> that sometimes I

> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much. I

> want him to be

> recognize what I am going through.

>

> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with.

> When he has the

> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps..

> in a chair or

> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down. A few

> months back, one

> of my toddlers got the stomach flu. He got it too.

> He took off work

> and stayed home in bed. He went back to work.. I

> got it. With

> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102

> temp. and the

> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care

> of the babies,

> and didn't want to take another day off of work.

> This is the

> sympathy I get when I'm sick. I just keep going and

> going..

> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore. I'm

> sopposed to

> relax... whatever. Anyways... my point is:

>

> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only

> prove his point

> that " I " m not that bad " . Obviously, someone w/ real

> pain is much

> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all.

> Does anyone

> have any other ideas of how I can get through to

> him. He thinks that

> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain

> will be gone and

> I'll be fixed. He's clueless and it's really

> hurting my feellings

> and stressing me out. I work really hard.. part

> time job... 2

> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up

> their mess all over

> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around...

> entertainging them

> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ...

> like lazy when he

> comes home and the toys are all over the floor

> because I'm simply

> hurting too much to do anymore. Picking stuff off

> the floor all over

> is just too much for me to handle. Anywayss....

> someone has to have

> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but

> isn't very

> sympathetic. Thanks... nne

>

>

=====

ABOUT ME!

http://www.geocities.com/loontoon4/to_hell_and_back

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ArthritisNewsletter

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi nne,

Let him pick the toys off of the floor. Nobody needs

to be put down. We have enough problems without being

hassled. I am sorry that you have to go through this.

I hope things get better.

Have a wonderful day nne!

Lonnie in Soonerland

--- marench2000 marench@...> wrote:

> Thanks to the few who replied to my post. One of

> you suggested that

> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " . The only

> problem w/ this is that

> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of

> view that I don't

> identify with. If you read the letter, it is from

> the perspective of

> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia.

> It sounds like the

> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at

> all.. not even go

> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them.

> I have

> fibromyalgia, but not to this point. I want him to

> understand that I

> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time,

> that sometimes I

> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much. I

> want him to be

> recognize what I am going through.

>

> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with.

> When he has the

> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps..

> in a chair or

> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down. A few

> months back, one

> of my toddlers got the stomach flu. He got it too.

> He took off work

> and stayed home in bed. He went back to work.. I

> got it. With

> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102

> temp. and the

> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care

> of the babies,

> and didn't want to take another day off of work.

> This is the

> sympathy I get when I'm sick. I just keep going and

> going..

> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore. I'm

> sopposed to

> relax... whatever. Anyways... my point is:

>

> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only

> prove his point

> that " I " m not that bad " . Obviously, someone w/ real

> pain is much

> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all.

> Does anyone

> have any other ideas of how I can get through to

> him. He thinks that

> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain

> will be gone and

> I'll be fixed. He's clueless and it's really

> hurting my feellings

> and stressing me out. I work really hard.. part

> time job... 2

> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up

> their mess all over

> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around...

> entertainging them

> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ...

> like lazy when he

> comes home and the toys are all over the floor

> because I'm simply

> hurting too much to do anymore. Picking stuff off

> the floor all over

> is just too much for me to handle. Anywayss....

> someone has to have

> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but

> isn't very

> sympathetic. Thanks... nne

>

>

=====

ABOUT ME!

http://www.geocities.com/loontoon4/to_hell_and_back

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ArthritisNewsletter

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Obviously, if he thinks you are lazy, he isn't clueless.

He's asinine. Please tell him I said so.

As I have pointed out several times on my posts, I am a normal 44 year-old male

who is dating a 42 year-old lady with Fibro/CFS.

I have read the " letter to normals " - several times in fact.

For the record, I found it on the web and printed it out for her and her son to

read - her for the fact it stated her case fabulously, even though she is in the

early (I guess) stages.

Him, so he could better understand what his mother has been going through.

For a long time, people she and I worked with just considered her lazy because

she would go for periods of time and not show up at work.

Our boss once told me last summer to quit making excuses for her - even though I

tried to explain her condition, he wouldn't listen.

We had not even heard of Fibro at the time - we did have thoughts her condition

could be CFS.

I keep a copy of the " letter to normals " for myself, so if I ever become

misunderstanding, I can always go back and re-read it - over - and over - and

over - and over.

While I am not your dh, I am proud to say I am one normal who is doing his best

to elevate my girlfriend's quality of life, by doing whatever I can, getting her

information, herbs and medications, pillows, blankets, exercising materials, ice

packs, heating packs, etc.

I'll even bring food to the house and prepare meals for her and her son (who is

bi-polar with depression and paranoia), and help out whenever she'll let me.

I'll do whatever it takes (hmmm . . .repeating myself) because I do love her -

and I haven't taken marital vows -- it's the way I feel.

I wish I could advise you on your husband, but I do not know exactly what (if

anything) is going on in his head.

All I can do is wish you the best and tell you that I am praying for you - and

there is one normal who understands.

>

>

>> Thanks to the few who replied to my post.  One of you suggested

>that

>> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " .  The only problem w/ this is

>that

>> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of view that I

>don't

>> identify with.  If you read the letter, it is from the perspective

>of

>> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia.  It sounds like

>the

>> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at all.. not even go

>> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them.  I have

>> fibromyalgia, but not to this point.  I want him to understand that

>I

>> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time, that sometimes

>I

>> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much.  I want him to be

>> recognize what I am going through.  

>>

>> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with.  When he has

>the

>> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps.. in a chair or

>> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down.  A few months back,

>one

>> of my toddlers got the stomach flu.  He got it too.  He took off

>work

>> and stayed home in bed.  He went back to work.. I got it.  With

>> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102 temp. and the

>> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care of the babies,

>> and didn't want to take another day off of work.  This is the

>> sympathy I get when I'm sick.  I just keep going and going..

>> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore.  I'm sopposed to

>> relax... whatever.  Anyways... my point is:

>>

>> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only prove his point

>> that " I " m not that bad " .  Obviously, someone w/ real pain is much

>> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all.  Does anyone

>> have any other ideas of how I can get through to him.  He thinks

>that

>> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain will be gone

>and

>> I'll be fixed.  He's clueless and it's really hurting my feellings

>> and stressing me out.  I work really hard.. part time job... 2

>> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up their mess all over

>> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around... entertainging

>them

>> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ... like lazy when

>he

>> comes home and the toys are all over the floor because I'm simply

>> hurting too much to do anymore.  Picking stuff off the floor all

>over

>> is just too much for me to handle.  Anywayss.... someone has to

>have

>> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but isn't very

>> sympathetic.  Thanks... nne

>

>

__________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Obviously, if he thinks you are lazy, he isn't clueless.

He's asinine. Please tell him I said so.

As I have pointed out several times on my posts, I am a normal 44 year-old male

who is dating a 42 year-old lady with Fibro/CFS.

I have read the " letter to normals " - several times in fact.

For the record, I found it on the web and printed it out for her and her son to

read - her for the fact it stated her case fabulously, even though she is in the

early (I guess) stages.

Him, so he could better understand what his mother has been going through.

For a long time, people she and I worked with just considered her lazy because

she would go for periods of time and not show up at work.

Our boss once told me last summer to quit making excuses for her - even though I

tried to explain her condition, he wouldn't listen.

We had not even heard of Fibro at the time - we did have thoughts her condition

could be CFS.

I keep a copy of the " letter to normals " for myself, so if I ever become

misunderstanding, I can always go back and re-read it - over - and over - and

over - and over.

While I am not your dh, I am proud to say I am one normal who is doing his best

to elevate my girlfriend's quality of life, by doing whatever I can, getting her

information, herbs and medications, pillows, blankets, exercising materials, ice

packs, heating packs, etc.

I'll even bring food to the house and prepare meals for her and her son (who is

bi-polar with depression and paranoia), and help out whenever she'll let me.

I'll do whatever it takes (hmmm . . .repeating myself) because I do love her -

and I haven't taken marital vows -- it's the way I feel.

I wish I could advise you on your husband, but I do not know exactly what (if

anything) is going on in his head.

All I can do is wish you the best and tell you that I am praying for you - and

there is one normal who understands.

>

>

>> Thanks to the few who replied to my post.  One of you suggested

>that

>> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " .  The only problem w/ this is

>that

>> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of view that I

>don't

>> identify with.  If you read the letter, it is from the perspective

>of

>> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia.  It sounds like

>the

>> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at all.. not even go

>> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them.  I have

>> fibromyalgia, but not to this point.  I want him to understand that

>I

>> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time, that sometimes

>I

>> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much.  I want him to be

>> recognize what I am going through.  

>>

>> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with.  When he has

>the

>> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps.. in a chair or

>> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down.  A few months back,

>one

>> of my toddlers got the stomach flu.  He got it too.  He took off

>work

>> and stayed home in bed.  He went back to work.. I got it.  With

>> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102 temp. and the

>> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care of the babies,

>> and didn't want to take another day off of work.  This is the

>> sympathy I get when I'm sick.  I just keep going and going..

>> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore.  I'm sopposed to

>> relax... whatever.  Anyways... my point is:

>>

>> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only prove his point

>> that " I " m not that bad " .  Obviously, someone w/ real pain is much

>> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all.  Does anyone

>> have any other ideas of how I can get through to him.  He thinks

>that

>> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain will be gone

>and

>> I'll be fixed.  He's clueless and it's really hurting my feellings

>> and stressing me out.  I work really hard.. part time job... 2

>> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up their mess all over

>> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around... entertainging

>them

>> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ... like lazy when

>he

>> comes home and the toys are all over the floor because I'm simply

>> hurting too much to do anymore.  Picking stuff off the floor all

>over

>> is just too much for me to handle.  Anywayss.... someone has to

>have

>> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but isn't very

>> sympathetic.  Thanks... nne

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Obviously, if he thinks you are lazy, he isn't clueless.

He's asinine. Please tell him I said so.

As I have pointed out several times on my posts, I am a normal 44 year-old male

who is dating a 42 year-old lady with Fibro/CFS.

I have read the " letter to normals " - several times in fact.

For the record, I found it on the web and printed it out for her and her son to

read - her for the fact it stated her case fabulously, even though she is in the

early (I guess) stages.

Him, so he could better understand what his mother has been going through.

For a long time, people she and I worked with just considered her lazy because

she would go for periods of time and not show up at work.

Our boss once told me last summer to quit making excuses for her - even though I

tried to explain her condition, he wouldn't listen.

We had not even heard of Fibro at the time - we did have thoughts her condition

could be CFS.

I keep a copy of the " letter to normals " for myself, so if I ever become

misunderstanding, I can always go back and re-read it - over - and over - and

over - and over.

While I am not your dh, I am proud to say I am one normal who is doing his best

to elevate my girlfriend's quality of life, by doing whatever I can, getting her

information, herbs and medications, pillows, blankets, exercising materials, ice

packs, heating packs, etc.

I'll even bring food to the house and prepare meals for her and her son (who is

bi-polar with depression and paranoia), and help out whenever she'll let me.

I'll do whatever it takes (hmmm . . .repeating myself) because I do love her -

and I haven't taken marital vows -- it's the way I feel.

I wish I could advise you on your husband, but I do not know exactly what (if

anything) is going on in his head.

All I can do is wish you the best and tell you that I am praying for you - and

there is one normal who understands.

>

>

>> Thanks to the few who replied to my post.  One of you suggested

>that

>> my dh read the " Letter to Normals " .  The only problem w/ this is

>that

>> if you read the letter it is coming from a point of view that I

>don't

>> identify with.  If you read the letter, it is from the perspective

>of

>> someone that is on the worst end of fibromyalgia.  It sounds like

>the

>> speaker is almost bed ridden and can't do much at all.. not even go

>> out and visit anyone and needs people to visit them.  I have

>> fibromyalgia, but not to this point.  I want him to understand that

>I

>> hurt all the time, that I push myself all the time, that sometimes

>I

>> just can't do anymore because I hurt too much.  I want him to be

>> recognize what I am going through.  

>>

>> Let me give you an example of what I'm dealing with.  When he has

>the

>> flu, headache, whatever, he takes meds and sleeps.. in a chair or

>> comes to bed, closes the door, and lies down.  A few months back,

>one

>> of my toddlers got the stomach flu.  He got it too.  He took off

>work

>> and stayed home in bed.  He went back to work.. I got it.  With

>> fibromyalgia, a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, 102 temp. and the

>> runs, he thought I would be " just fine " taking care of the babies,

>> and didn't want to take another day off of work.  This is the

>> sympathy I get when I'm sick.  I just keep going and going..

>> regardless of how I feel until I can't anymore.  I'm sopposed to

>> relax... whatever.  Anyways... my point is:

>>

>> If he reads the " letter to normals " .. it will only prove his point

>> that " I " m not that bad " .  Obviously, someone w/ real pain is much

>> worse than me and I'm not like " this person " at all.  Does anyone

>> have any other ideas of how I can get through to him.  He thinks

>that

>> if I take a walk around the block every day my pain will be gone

>and

>> I'll be fixed.  He's clueless and it's really hurting my feellings

>> and stressing me out.  I work really hard.. part time job... 2

>> toddlers.. the house.. the meals... cleaning up their mess all over

>> the floor 4+ times a day... running them around... entertainging

>them

>> (the toddlers)....He likes to say " fibromylazia " ... like lazy when

>he

>> comes home and the toys are all over the floor because I'm simply

>> hurting too much to do anymore.  Picking stuff off the floor all

>over

>> is just too much for me to handle.  Anywayss.... someone has to

>have

>> some ideas on how to deal w/ a dh who loves me, but isn't very

>> sympathetic.  Thanks... nne

>

>

__________________________________________________________________

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the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape!

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