Happy Friday - a little long

July 30, 2004

Thanks for the prayers everyone...they definitely were answered. I

went home early yesterday to prepare for my ex to come over and divvy

up our belongings. I decided to go get a massage to pamper myself,

then I went to the gym and sat in the steam room for a while. By the

time he came over I was relaxed and serene.

He came in and we hugged, and for the first time I really didn't feel

anything. No anger, so sadness, no love...just nothing. It was

great. He was very uncomfortable and said so. I told him that we

will both be okay, and that we had work to do. He took me out to

dinner at a neighborhood place, and it was comfortable for me, not as

comfortable for him.

Before he came over I went ahead and made a stack for him of all the

stuff in the kitchen that I was willing to give up. I told him he

couldn't have anything else because I couldn't afford to replace it

and he can. He was fine with that. I stacked towels for kitchen and

bath, and stuff like that. I took all the stuff that were gifts to

us and set them all out so we could see everything at once. There

were two items that we both wanted, and we both knew that would

happen. I didn't care which one I got as long as I got one of them.

We flipped a coin and each took one. After that, we didn't really

want what the other person wanted, so there was no problem.

He packed up his stuff in boxes and stored them in his closet out of

my way. He was supposed to move this weekend, but his place won't be

ready till next week. He's going to move a week from tomorrow, and

I'm leaving on a vacation that day. He'll really be alone

then...like he said he wanted to be. I think he's going to be in for

a shock.

It all went very well for me. I wasn't sad or anything. I still

consider him a friend, just not a seriously dependable one. He

hasn't been alone yet since he left, so he still has all the hard

stuff to do. Thank God I don't have to go through that with him.

I feel really evolved today.

Have a great weekend.

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