Ten Best Answering Machine Messages: Too Funny!!

July 6, 2002

Ten Best Answering Machine Messages

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll

leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're

finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving

messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and

their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't

need

their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and

home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-

recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number,

and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your

call.

7. Hi! 's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.

Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with

one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is : If you are the phone company, I already sent

the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my

bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe

me money.

If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why

we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave

a " sexy " message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.

Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Lloyd and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone

right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes

doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real

slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth,

we'll call you back.

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