Fw: HOME REMEDIES AND RULES OF LIFE

[Guest guest]

Clever, Classy, Cute. Love Ardie

> HOME REMEDIES AND RULES OF LIFE:

> 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of

> boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost

> instantly removed.

> 2. Clumsy?

> Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to

> hold them while you chop away.

> 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply

> using the sink.

> 4 For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a

> few minutes thus, reducing the pressure in your veins.

> 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from

> rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

> 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will

> be afraid to cough.

> 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer, then you will

> forget about the toothache.

> Sometimes, We Just Need To Remember What The Rules Of Life Really Are...

> You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape, If it doesn't move and

> should, use the WD-40; If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.

> The five (5) most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are:

> " I apologize, " and " You are right. "

> Remember; Everyone seems normal until you get to know them!

> Never pass-up an opportunity to go to the restroom...

> And Finally, Be really nice to your family and friends, you never know

when

> you might need them to empty your bedpan!

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