... Where am I? (A little religion in it) Sorry ...

[Guest guest]

Hello Lupie Members,

I'm sorry that I've been MIA and sorry for the excruciatingly long

letter. I went to a religious convention and I was on 'No Mail.' I

didn't take myself off of that because I figured that no one would

miss me anyways. Cheryl, thanks for writing me. I just

received your email today. I'm sorry for taking so long to

respond. Ever since the convention I've been attending all the

meetings and doing my personal study. I've been really busy because

of that but having so much fun in the process.

I now know how I can find true happiness. I'm so sorry to hear

about your husband. Hardships befall us all and I know that this

time must be really difficult for you. I hope that he will be able

to find another place of work but in the mean time I wish you all

the best that your sickness won't get the best of you while you're

going through this hard time. I know that having the tremors must

be so frustrating. I was getting the shakes and my doctor

prescribed Pamelor for me. It sure helps ... especially at night.

My legs seem to go nuts at bed time.

, your blood pressure was 200 something over a 100 something?

My goodness. I will be sure to stick around now because you get

really sick when I'm gone. Ha. I hope that you are doing better.

Now that I'm back could you tell me how you've been doing? Cheryl,

you too.

I want to tell ya'll about me. I've been feeling pretty good

lately. I'm sure that the convention was responsible for that.

Also my doctor increased my Effexor so I've been doing really good.

Because I've been feeling so good I've been doing a lot more. Which

in turn I've been tiring myself out. It's like I don't know when to

stop. When I do ... I just drop. My Cytoxan treatment is coming up

in the next week or so. I'm all teary eyed because of that. But

this is only to be expected. I always turn into a bag of water when

it's time for the chemo treatments.

Well, I've been taking a computer course online through the

technical college here in town. So far I have an A average. I have

two tests to turn in by Sunday. Needless to say I don't even know

what the material is over. This is bad but tomorrow is homework day

for me. Right now I'm working on my 24 hour urine so I'm trying not

to go to too many places. I hate doing this. I have some blood

work done earlier this week and that lady really hurt my arm.

Anyways, since I've been attending all the meetings I've done a

little shopping trying to buy some nice dresses. When I go there

everyone compliments me so. They all say the same thing, 'You don't

look sick, !' When I tell them that I'm taking chemo and my

hair has been falling out they nearly hit the floor. Since my

sister is a cosmetologist she's been fixing my hair for me by

putting extensions into it to make it fuller.

My hair is so short and thin now. * Sigh * That depresses me so.

I won't talk about that right now. I'll send a picture to show you

how I looked at the convention. I'm posting from the site so when I

get the emails coming back in I'll send the picture. I'm now

wearing a Med Alert bracelet and it's coming in really handy. Let

me tell you about this guy I met.

At the convention on Saturday I got this feeling like I was going to

pass out. This was while I was sitting down so when I got up I felt

it even worse. That's when I told my grandma that I needed to go to

First Aid. We walk over there and then there's this tall nice

looking brother in there. He came to me and asked me how he could

help me. I told him that I was feeling sick and needed to lie

down.

That's when he said, 'Well, you can just pick a spot on the floor.'

My grandmother thought that that was hilarious. I was drop dead

serious at the time and I was getting ready to get down on the

floor. High heels, silk black dress and all too! That's when he

said that he was joking and he pointed me into the direction that I

could go to get help. I didn't laugh nor smile at what he said.

Well, they had cots set up in the back and I got my blanket and laid

down. Starting crying because I was feeling so bad. I didn't want

my grandmother to miss out on the convention so I told her that she

could go back to her seat. That's when she left. After that

brother said that I didn't put too much more thought into it.

Well, on Sunday, I was sitting down in the disabled section and when

I looked up I saw him maybe 10 feet away from me talking to some

friends. You know how people be acting like they're not looking at

you but they're really looking at you?! That's what he was doing

and I noticed that. I went on to the bathroom and it took about 10

minutes before I came back to my seat because there was so many

people there. 4,000+. So, when I came back to my seat he was still

standing there acting like he wasn't looking at me. He didn't come

up to talk to me though.

I've known of this brother for a couple of years. I was like 15 or

so at the time that we met and I was too young. But I've always

noticed him. Well, like two weeks after the convention he came to

our congregation to give a talk. He did such an excellent job. I

was sitting in direct view of him without realizing it and I noticed

him looking at me. He's in a neighboring town of ours. Everyone

was so impressed by the way that he expressed himself including me.

After the talk was over I went to the bathroom.

When I came back he was standing in the lobby acting like he wasn't

looking at me. Ha. Well, we kind of walked towards each other and

we shook hands. Both grinning ear to ear. That's when I told him

that I really enjoyed his talk. And he chuckled and said thank

you. Then he asked me in the most serious, concerned voice, 'How

have you been doing?' I told him that I was doing good. Someone

called his name and we just parted ways after that.

I just loved the way he asked me how I was doing. He seemed really

concerned. This was last Sunday. I told my grandma about what he

said and that's when she told me that when she was leaving First Aid

back at the convention that's when he came up to her and said, 'I

didn't mean anything by what I said. How is she doing?' My

grandmother told him how I was doing.

I don't know why she didn't tell me this information all before.

I'm glad that she finally told me though. * Whew * This letter got

really long. I guess I've just had a lot on my mind. Well, anyone

that's read to this point, I want your advice. Was this brother

just beeing really attentive and concerned about me because I'm a

fellow member in the congregation or could there possibly be

something more? This brother is the human I would like to be. Ha.

I just can't stop thinking about him. Well, I've blabbed on

enough. Anyone write back if you can.

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