PSC vs. God

[Guest guest]

Dear PSC supporters (well, you know what I mean):

This is another follow-up to the videos that I posted to YouTube. As

I have already stated: I actually posted these to the PSC support

group only as an afterthought. But I am so glad that I did, based on

the warm reception so far.

OK, so how to mix PSC and God?

I realize that this is not a faith-based forum, so I must apologize

up front to members of the group who might feel offended by some

elements in my videos (and perhaps by the remainder of this post).

You can stop reading now if you prefer!

But these are the FACTS of my life. Remember, this is coming from a

guy who is a mix of a physicist, engineer, computer programmer, data

analyst, and one who writes a lot of TECHNICAL papers.

I had my first true " receiving God into my life " experience when I

was in the U.S. as an exchange student (at age 23). Through this

experience I met my American wife and have remained in the U.S.,

eventually becoming a U.S. citizen. I still visit my relatives in the

Netherlands often, about once a year.

In the early years of our marriage, I was very active in our local

church, along with my wife. Then came a time when I became seriously

home sick and longed to go back to the Netherlands for good. My dear

wife and I probably would have separated at that time. There was only

ONE little " problem " —our first child had come into our lives. As hard

as it was for me to stay, I could not bear the thought of leaving our

son behind.

These were VERY stressful years in our marriage, and I have wondered

many times if my PSC might have stemmed from those years of SEVERE

stress.

My " solution " to this unsolvable problem (I could not go back to my

own family without leaving my son behind) was to resolve that my

faith experience (at age 23) COULD NOT HAVE BEEN REAL. I became an

agnostic, dropped out of church, and was content that way (to the

best of my ability) for some 17 years. We had three more beautiful

children (all girls) added to our family. Our children are rather

spread out in ages, spanning almost 12 years between the oldest and

the youngest.

Well, something changed for me, rather dramatically, during the first

week of this year. I would be glad (even eager) to share this very

special occasion with those who would like to know more. But I will

stick to a FACTUAL account for the purpose of this forum.

This fact is the following: I had a very POWERFUL experience of God

coming back into my life. How can this be a fact? Well, it is a fact

to ME in the following way: I have moved from being a merely-content

person to one who feels TRULY inspired. Emotionally, I feel better

than EVER, despite feeling the bothersome progression of my PSC and

UC. Many around me have already seen this change within me, even

professional colleagues.

Perhaps my circumstances are somewhat unique. For the first time

ever, I, my wife, and our four children, feel a mutual bond that

seems no longer to be limited by the world that we can see, touch,

and feel with our physical senses.

I can already see occasions in my future where I ***do*** get to

share details of this story. This is how the YouTube videos got

started (and are likely to continue!). My first video was really a

follow-up to a 30-minute testimonial (very well received) to the

college ministry group from which our son receives his primary

spiritual nourishment. I am already looking forward to other speaking

engagements of this sort. I can be invited if you wish!

So what about PSC vs. God? Of course, I would like to be CURED of

this disease. As you know, doctors say this is not possible. And

perhaps the PSC is there only to MOTIVATE me to challenge other

people (young people, in particular) to find that abundant life that

I have FINALLY found for myself. Maybe time will tell.

So, how are you (me, that is)? Better than I deserve, indeed!

--Wim