Blessings to you all

[Guest guest]

Hello Fellow Lupies

As you know, I have not been online much recently due to being a

caretaker to my aging mom. I am trying to read about all of your

lives when I can, but don't have much time to send individual

replies. It saddens me to hear of all the things that are happening

in your lives that add to your illness. No one understands more than

I do. I have had Lupus for 20 years this October as I contracted it

during a pregnancy with my daughter. These last two decades have

been full of disappointments, tragedies, illness of myself and

others and just plain bad luck. When you have lupus, people can't

see what is really going on in your body. I think we all learn to

fake how we feel as we learn early on that people don't want to hear

about it if it's chronic and ongoing. Therefore, it is even more

important to have a support group. When I began my lupus journey,

there was no such thing as doctors were still avoiding diagnosing

the mysterious autoimmune diseases.

I see many of the problems I encountered along the way in your

posts. I wish I could reach through the computer and hug every one

of you.I also wish I could wave a magic wand and take away your

illness. But all I can offer is my love and understanding. The best

medicine I have found over the years is to TRY to not let things

bother you. Stay focused on your own life as you try to help others,

which is our nature. When you don't feel well yourself, you tend to

be more understanding of other's aches and pains.

Stress is a VERY big trigger of relapses. If there is any way to

divert your thought processes while under it, try hard to do it.

I have found all kinds of ways to " ignore " things that emotionally

drain me. I have gotten so good at it that the people who are doing

it to me don't even realize it. ( I think you call that acting.lol)

But it is necessary to survive with an illness like Lupus. Over

stressing yourself can put you in the hospital. NOTHING is that

important unless it's also a life and death situation.

Money is the biggest issue for most of us as, when you are sick,

it's hard to work. Even if you are on SSD, the money is tight. That

in itself is stressful in a world where money is important. And, of

course, we need it to live and buy our meds, so we can't completely

ignore it.

But thinking positive thoughts does help. I have known people who

didn't know for years I was even sick. When they find out, they are

shocked, usually when I wind up at the Hospital Hilton. They ask how

I hid it and I tell them they just don't see me when I am in the

perverbial black hole recovering.

The main question I am always asked is how I continue to be happy in

the face of all my problems due to my lupus and the complications it

can spur in my life.

I tell them that it's either laugh or cry.. and I like to laugh too

much to cry. What good does it do anyway.. it only gives me a

headache.lol

I also try to remember that there are people much worse off than I

am. At least we DO have good days and walk, talk and have a somewhat

normal life.

I am actively using all these tricks as I try to continue to take

care of my mom after her car accident. It gets a little harder every

day as my own health slides, but sometimes we have no option.

I will keep all of you and your individual problems high on my

prayer list.

Blessing and love to you all.

Sunny