Where do I start? Help.

[Guest guest]

Hello, I joined this list a few months back when a dr. first said I

may have fibro. Since then, I have been pretty much diagnoised w/

having it. A few more tests are being run to rule out other stuff,

but the specialist I saw is 99% sure that this is what I have. She

was a great dr. She spent an hour w/ me talking and examining me. I

had all the " points " and whatever else. From everything I've read,

even on this list, it seems there is nothing that will benefit

everyone. For ex. one type of food, eliminating food, drugs, herbal

stuff. What works for one, doesn't work for another. I don't know

where to start. I am feeling so overwhelemed. I just want this pain

to stop, but it's getting worse and worse. I don't have flare ups..

it is w/me 24 7. Like others on the list have written.. I am 31,

but feel like I am going on 92, not 32. I have an almost 3 year old

and a 16 month old. Just taking care of the girls wipes me out, not

to mention excersizing, working, PT, etc. I know I need PT, I can't

even lift my arms over my head or up very high. I can't reach for

stuff above me, I ask someone or do w/ out. I am very limited.. it's

been this way for 5 years. So.. I really need PT, but w/ my dh's

work schedule and my work schedule (part time), I don't know how I

will even have time to go. I have no one to watch the kids, and that

makes it really hard.

My dh isn't very sympathetic or understanding. I push myself every

day. I have NEVER lied in bed, infact I don't have CFS, I have

problems sleeping. I NEVER take naps.. even when I was preg. and had

the little tiny babies. So.. I'm not lazy, but he calls fibro

jokingly " fibromylazia " meaning... lazy. For instance, all day I

would have prepared 6+ meals for the kids, cleaned up, picked up a

bit, played w/ the kids, taken them out somewhere, BUT their toys are

all over the floor not picked up, no laundry done, our room a mess,

etc. So.. His attitude really hurts my feelings. He has no dang

clue how much I'm going through, I've tried to tell him, but it just

doesn't register. I have such a hard time taking care of the kids..

it is exhausting for me. I feel like such a horrible mother. My

16month old asks me " what happened? " when she hears me say, " ouch,

or arrrr.. or cry .. or wince...it makes me so sad that they see me

like this at least once or twice a day. Sometimes when I really hurt

myself I just can't hide the pain I'm in. I don't understand this

stuff. I have done lots of research on it. How can anyone say it's

in " someone's head " . There is NO WAY I am making this happening or

imagining it.

Anyways.. I just need some help w/ where to start, how to deal w/ my

dh and family and some support in general. Thanks, nne