Guest guest Posted August 29, 2002 Report Share Posted August 29, 2002 >Hi, >Since I joined this group I noticed that I'm rare being a man >with CFS/Fibro who happens to be a member. It also appears so far >that the tenor of the group is geared more towards women, almost as >if CFS and Fibro discriminates along gender lines and your sharings >are limited to one another on that basis. There was only one main in my support group when I was first diagnosed and the doctor said that this is a disease that affects more women than men by a large margin. Of course, there was also a teenager in our group too and that is also considered unusual. >It was my deep desire when I joined to try helping others if I >could, make new acquaintances, create a new support network, and be >a part of something positive with regard to this condition. >I try to respond to messages from members who ask for help, or seem >deeply distressed. I have intense experience in the medical field >and have tried to share relevant information with respect to >scientific research and new findings, disability, and social issues. >On rare occasion someone seems interested, but for the most part I >feel as though my attempts to be of help are not wanted in the >group. Well, I'm very new here so I can't really speak to this except to say that I would very much welcome any and all help in coping with this illness and I don't care what gender or color or religious group or persuasion a person is, if they have something to say I'll gladly listen and if what they say can help me, I'll be grateful and tell them so. I will say that as a new member keeping up with so many posts of such an active group is a little daunting, so I'll venture that maybe you haven't received the responses you desired not because of a lack of interest, but because there's so much information to get through but as I said, I'm new so I can't say I've had a chance to know for sure if that's the case. >I'll be honest that I'm sometimes surprised by what people talk >about here in light of the difficulties living with a debilitating >illness like this can have on anyone with it. OK, now I know you >guys will be mad as hell with me but here it goes .... as a man, >I've heard over & over that women want to vent but don't necessarily >want things fixed. Is it possible that we are conditioned to think >so differntly based on gender? Men see problems and look for >solutions, and women only want to talk about the problems? >(generalization ok?). From my own readings on this specific topic, I believe the idea put forth by the experts is that when women and men talk to one another, women often say things just to get them out in the open (which makes us feel better), not because they expect a man to fix the problem vs. men automatically feeling that when women say things they (the men) are expected to fix what's wrong, rather than just to let the women vent and thereby get to feeling better for having done so. >Is it that men and women are better off in support groups segregated >based on sex? I'm confused so far with the way things go in this >group, but I do feel as if there is a difference in receptivity. >Be well, Reggie I do not believe this is the case as I have been involved in several co-ed medical support groups in person and online and the result has been that we men and women have nurtured and learned from one another and enriched each other's lives. Reggie, hang in there and please don't be discouraged by a lack of response to your help. You can feel free to email me offline if you wish at ionlyget5@... Dana Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2002 Report Share Posted August 29, 2002 >Hi, >Since I joined this group I noticed that I'm rare being a man >with CFS/Fibro who happens to be a member. It also appears so far >that the tenor of the group is geared more towards women, almost as >if CFS and Fibro discriminates along gender lines and your sharings >are limited to one another on that basis. There was only one main in my support group when I was first diagnosed and the doctor said that this is a disease that affects more women than men by a large margin. Of course, there was also a teenager in our group too and that is also considered unusual. >It was my deep desire when I joined to try helping others if I >could, make new acquaintances, create a new support network, and be >a part of something positive with regard to this condition. >I try to respond to messages from members who ask for help, or seem >deeply distressed. I have intense experience in the medical field >and have tried to share relevant information with respect to >scientific research and new findings, disability, and social issues. >On rare occasion someone seems interested, but for the most part I >feel as though my attempts to be of help are not wanted in the >group. Well, I'm very new here so I can't really speak to this except to say that I would very much welcome any and all help in coping with this illness and I don't care what gender or color or religious group or persuasion a person is, if they have something to say I'll gladly listen and if what they say can help me, I'll be grateful and tell them so. I will say that as a new member keeping up with so many posts of such an active group is a little daunting, so I'll venture that maybe you haven't received the responses you desired not because of a lack of interest, but because there's so much information to get through but as I said, I'm new so I can't say I've had a chance to know for sure if that's the case. >I'll be honest that I'm sometimes surprised by what people talk >about here in light of the difficulties living with a debilitating >illness like this can have on anyone with it. OK, now I know you >guys will be mad as hell with me but here it goes .... as a man, >I've heard over & over that women want to vent but don't necessarily >want things fixed. Is it possible that we are conditioned to think >so differntly based on gender? Men see problems and look for >solutions, and women only want to talk about the problems? >(generalization ok?). From my own readings on this specific topic, I believe the idea put forth by the experts is that when women and men talk to one another, women often say things just to get them out in the open (which makes us feel better), not because they expect a man to fix the problem vs. men automatically feeling that when women say things they (the men) are expected to fix what's wrong, rather than just to let the women vent and thereby get to feeling better for having done so. >Is it that men and women are better off in support groups segregated >based on sex? I'm confused so far with the way things go in this >group, but I do feel as if there is a difference in receptivity. >Be well, Reggie I do not believe this is the case as I have been involved in several co-ed medical support groups in person and online and the result has been that we men and women have nurtured and learned from one another and enriched each other's lives. Reggie, hang in there and please don't be discouraged by a lack of response to your help. You can feel free to email me offline if you wish at ionlyget5@... Dana Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2002 Report Share Posted August 29, 2002 >Hi, >Since I joined this group I noticed that I'm rare being a man >with CFS/Fibro who happens to be a member. It also appears so far >that the tenor of the group is geared more towards women, almost as >if CFS and Fibro discriminates along gender lines and your sharings >are limited to one another on that basis. There was only one main in my support group when I was first diagnosed and the doctor said that this is a disease that affects more women than men by a large margin. Of course, there was also a teenager in our group too and that is also considered unusual. >It was my deep desire when I joined to try helping others if I >could, make new acquaintances, create a new support network, and be >a part of something positive with regard to this condition. >I try to respond to messages from members who ask for help, or seem >deeply distressed. I have intense experience in the medical field >and have tried to share relevant information with respect to >scientific research and new findings, disability, and social issues. >On rare occasion someone seems interested, but for the most part I >feel as though my attempts to be of help are not wanted in the >group. Well, I'm very new here so I can't really speak to this except to say that I would very much welcome any and all help in coping with this illness and I don't care what gender or color or religious group or persuasion a person is, if they have something to say I'll gladly listen and if what they say can help me, I'll be grateful and tell them so. I will say that as a new member keeping up with so many posts of such an active group is a little daunting, so I'll venture that maybe you haven't received the responses you desired not because of a lack of interest, but because there's so much information to get through but as I said, I'm new so I can't say I've had a chance to know for sure if that's the case. >I'll be honest that I'm sometimes surprised by what people talk >about here in light of the difficulties living with a debilitating >illness like this can have on anyone with it. OK, now I know you >guys will be mad as hell with me but here it goes .... as a man, >I've heard over & over that women want to vent but don't necessarily >want things fixed. Is it possible that we are conditioned to think >so differntly based on gender? Men see problems and look for >solutions, and women only want to talk about the problems? >(generalization ok?). From my own readings on this specific topic, I believe the idea put forth by the experts is that when women and men talk to one another, women often say things just to get them out in the open (which makes us feel better), not because they expect a man to fix the problem vs. men automatically feeling that when women say things they (the men) are expected to fix what's wrong, rather than just to let the women vent and thereby get to feeling better for having done so. >Is it that men and women are better off in support groups segregated >based on sex? I'm confused so far with the way things go in this >group, but I do feel as if there is a difference in receptivity. >Be well, Reggie I do not believe this is the case as I have been involved in several co-ed medical support groups in person and online and the result has been that we men and women have nurtured and learned from one another and enriched each other's lives. Reggie, hang in there and please don't be discouraged by a lack of response to your help. You can feel free to email me offline if you wish at ionlyget5@... Dana Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2002 Report Share Posted August 29, 2002 It looks to me as though there are some truly hurt feelings here, but I am too new to the group to know where they are stemming from. Margaret, as a new member I would appreciate any assistance you can give regarding disability. Dana B > I have gone on and tried to help people with disability ect. But same as you > got no replies, do you think that they are clickish or what do you think > Reggie?? I sometimes think that I am wasting my time too. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2002 Report Share Posted August 29, 2002 It looks to me as though there are some truly hurt feelings here, but I am too new to the group to know where they are stemming from. Margaret, as a new member I would appreciate any assistance you can give regarding disability. Dana B > I have gone on and tried to help people with disability ect. But same as you > got no replies, do you think that they are clickish or what do you think > Reggie?? I sometimes think that I am wasting my time too. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2002 Report Share Posted August 30, 2002 Hi Reggie, I rarely post, but I read the posts when I can. I've gotten a lot out of your posts since you joined the group. I do belong to a couple of rheumatic illness groups online that takes up much of my computer time, so there are days I simply don't have enough time to read and write here. I've been researching as much as I can to find good health info concerning fibro and rheumatic/autoimmune illnesses - to treat myself and hopefully find a good, open-minded doctor who wil really work with me! You are correct in saying that women and men are geared to communicate differently The good news is, you seem very attuned to that, and I , as a woman, appreciate it! Please keep posting, as info and ideas you have are very important to me, and to the group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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