Guest guest Posted October 24, 2002 Report Share Posted October 24, 2002 He was very concerned about the effect the acetaminophen might be having on my liver. I guess I was somewhat. To be honest, if I had to choose quality of life over well, longevity, I would definitely go for quality. Anyway, thanks again. > > Cheryl in Illinois Cheryl, I'm with you on that one! But I still want to avoid having a bummed up liver on top of a bummed up pancreas. The fewer broken organs, the better. Good luck with your doctor tomorrow, I hope he's receptive to this suggestion. Let us know what he says. With hope and prayers, Heidi Heidi H. Griffeth South Carolina hhessgriffeth@... Southeastern Representative Pancreatitis Association, Intl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2002 Report Share Posted October 24, 2002 He was very concerned about the effect the acetaminophen might be having on my liver. I guess I was somewhat. To be honest, if I had to choose quality of life over well, longevity, I would definitely go for quality. Anyway, thanks again. > > Cheryl in Illinois Cheryl, I'm with you on that one! But I still want to avoid having a bummed up liver on top of a bummed up pancreas. The fewer broken organs, the better. Good luck with your doctor tomorrow, I hope he's receptive to this suggestion. Let us know what he says. With hope and prayers, Heidi Heidi H. Griffeth South Carolina hhessgriffeth@... Southeastern Representative Pancreatitis Association, Intl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2002 Report Share Posted October 24, 2002 He was very concerned about the effect the acetaminophen might be having on my liver. I guess I was somewhat. To be honest, if I had to choose quality of life over well, longevity, I would definitely go for quality. Anyway, thanks again. > > Cheryl in Illinois Cheryl, I'm with you on that one! But I still want to avoid having a bummed up liver on top of a bummed up pancreas. The fewer broken organs, the better. Good luck with your doctor tomorrow, I hope he's receptive to this suggestion. Let us know what he says. With hope and prayers, Heidi Heidi H. Griffeth South Carolina hhessgriffeth@... Southeastern Representative Pancreatitis Association, Intl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 28, 2004 Report Share Posted August 28, 2004 Cheryl, Your letter to really touched my heart.....tears all down my face....Although I did manage to hold it together better than you did.......just barely, I also was a screaming MOM , but managed to never use obscenities with them....I spanked also, but not with anything but my hand .....the reasoning was that if I used anything other than my hand....I could not feel how hard I was hitting them. It takes a lot of love for your fellow Human beings to bare your soul as you just did to help another MOM in the same circumstances......I admire you tremendously, I did already.....but more so now. You are right .....children never forget.....My Children have forgiven me ......but it is so much harder to forgive Myself. LINDA C. RE: /child care Hi , Keep trying to show loving attention to your child. I know how hard it is. I raised 2 kids without a husband for a lot of years. Their dad was a total deadbeat and I was overwhelmed. I got no help from my family or friends either. My mother was a widow who worked and never wanted to watch the kids as she was always busy. I knew nothing about raising kids. I had my first one right before I turned 18 and my second one 4 years later. My daughter was born extremely ill and had major surgery at three days old. She was two months premature. She nearly died several times and the doctors told me when she was born that she would probably die. She was sick and not normal until she was four and then I had another baby. My X left when my youngest was in diapers. The Govt. did nothing for me concerning him. I had to go on welfare. I couldn’t make enough money to pay a sitter and I didn’t want a sitter to raise my kids anyway. I worked cleaning houses a couple times per week and took them with me. When my son started kindergarten, he started acting out. I went through hell with him for years. I had a lot of mental problems and a bad temper too. I took him to a shrink and the woman told me I should put him in foster care. I said I thought most of his trouble was because he felt abandoned by his father and I would never abandon him too. How could she think he would feel better if I did that? I grabbed him and never went back. She should have prescribed antidepressants for me and some good counseling for all three of us. I was too dumb to look for another shrink. I was too dumb to know I needed meds to help me cope. She was the only one I could find because I was on welfare. I regret so much! I hate to say it but I wasn’t a good mother, especially when I had to go to school, work part-time and try to handle everything with lupus. I didn’t know then why I was sick all the time. When they were older and in school full time I got a job and paid a neighbor to watch them for a couple of hours until I got home. It was hard to find anyone willing to watch him as he stole and set fires. At some point in time someone 5 years older started molesting him. I didn’t know why he acted so badly. I didn’t know the signs to look for that or anything else about kids. All the advice I got was to spank him and be told he needs a father. I spanked and punished him all the time. I begged him over and over again to tell me why he did the things he did. He would never talk to me, he would just say: “I don’t know”. I spanked him for lying most of the time. He always told lies to cover over his wrongdoing and I would say: ‘I won’t spank if you tell the truth”. Of course he wouldn’t and I beat him. I started drinking at night to calm my nerves. I HATE myself for it! As a result we are not close. He finally told me about the years of his molestation this year and he is 36 years old. When we were young, they didn’t have all the advice about raising kids on TV, radio, and stuff like we have now. Years ago (they were all grown up) I was watching a show and it was about signs of molestation, it was then that I began to worry that that is what had happened to him even though I always tried to watch for that. I was molested as a child. You would think I would know!!! I was stupid and selfish I guess. I will never forgive myself for being such a strict and angry parent! I have apologized to them when they were in their teens. My abuse of them stopped when I remarried and my son was about 10 ½. Since I had more money and insurance and a husband, we sent him to a good kids shrink when he was about 12 or 13. I quit my job, my husband and I both gave up alcohol completely and things went pretty well after that. I didn’t torture them like some awful things you hear of but children shouldn’t be beaten by a belt and that is what I did. I also screamed obscenities at them, mostly my son. Children do not forget! If you want to have your grown child be your friend and be there for you when you get old then remember, kindness begets kindness. My experience is one reason I am so against teens having babies. If I had my kids in my late 20’s or especially my early 30’s they would have had a good mother. I am so happy for you that you have support and help from your family. PLEASE never hesitate to call someone if you start to loose your temper. A child will love mommy unconditionally but when they grow to their teens and older the love will be gone. Save yourself from the grief and tears I caused myself. I am a Christian now and know through my studies that God has forgiven me. I know that I am supposed to forgive myself because if God forgives me than I must not take over his judgment and not forgive myself. I have been working on that for many, many years. I still ask God to help me to forgive myself and it took me years to stop begging God to forgive me. The strange thing is I loved my kids with all my heart and would have killed anyone who tried to hurt them. I understand your illness. My husband is bipolar. What ever you do, stay on your meds and don’t think you can go a single day without them!! Stay away from all alcohol. Coffee isn’t good for you either. If you still have angry times and feel overwhelmed, ask the Dr. to adjust your meds and keep trying to get the right combination. Like they say:”When angry count to 10 and if still angry, count to 10 again”. At least that is what they say. I used to count to ten and then beat him. My children both live out of state. My son says he loves me but he disappeared out of my life for several years when he turned 18 and walked out. He turned out to be a wonderful husband and father. His little boy is great but I only see him once every 2 pr 3 years. My daughter has two girls. She is a very soft and gentle woman, has been all her life. I think my strictness messed her up some too. I only see her family once every several years too but we talk on the phone all the time. I used to be real close to her. I think she has so seldom spanked or corrected her kids they are spoiled. She can’t stand the confrontation so she lets them have their way. Her teen daughter went off the deep end and became a weirdo Goth all in black. She ran away 4 times even though her parents provided a wonderful home for them. Her dad spent lots of time with her. Raising kids is so hard! How old is your child? Well, now you all know who I REALLY am. Now you may understand why I have so much awe and admiration for you gals who take in troubled foster kids. I just don’t know how you do it, especially because you are sick. As you see, I had trouble showing motherly love for my flesh and blood so it is hard for me to understand the depth of such love you guys have for kids. It is wonderful and thank God for you. Sincerely, Cheryl in CA **************************************************************************************************************************** I have done some terrible things in my life to my brother and sister, as it was out of protection to one of them from the other. I have gone through some terrible things in my childhood that it reflected so horrible in my life. That’s when I was diagnosed as bi-polar As I have stated I have already had to call my sister once at 2am cause I couldn’t handle it anymore. Being a single mother of a premature child and not know what is wrong with them is the hardest thing. Now with him wanting to be so mobile and get around everywhere drives me nuts sometimes. I feel like I don’t have the patience for him You know how it is being a single mother and trying to stay sane when they drive you crazy in CA "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.