Just thought I'd say hello!

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone--

Thank you so much for letting me into your group. I appreciate the

chance to talk with you as I know that many of you are experiencing

some of the same things I am or already have experienced them.

I'm 25 years old, married, with two little boys (almost 3 and 19

months). I work part time nights as a sleep lab technician. I have

been diagnosed with Lupus (SLE) by my general practitioner but he is

a bit timid in treating me and seems to only know one word when it

comes to treatment -- Prednisone. I have an appt with a

rheumatologist in Salt Lake (I live in cedar City Utah by the way and

would love to hear from anyone who may be close to me) in October.

I've been in my worst flare ever for three months now and just went

off of 80 mg Prednisone a week and a half ago. I saw a

rheumatologist who had a cancelation and will be retiring soon but

because I was in flare and not doing well fit me in and will see me

until September when he retires. When I went to see him I was so

hopeful but I had been on PRednisone for two weeks and had improved

quite a bit, also my blood word was inaccurate because of the

medication. This doctor told me to go home, go off the prednisone,

get sicker, and come back. That's when I started crying in his

office (how embarrassing huh). So that's what I'm doing now just

getting sicker so I can go back. I realize I may not even have lupus

but when I look into other autoimmunes or other diseases in general,

lupus seems to explain all my symptoms while the others still leave

me missing some. I'm having a lot of stress now as my mom is dying

of lymphoma and my illness is progressing. I feel guilt on a daily

basis at the things I can not do for my husband and children like I

want to. I hurt every day. I feel like I'm barely functioning. I

feel like I'm 80 and I'm only 25. I feel like my life has been taken

from me. I appreciate you all listening to me and I really feel this

keeps me sane and saves my hubby from a lot of whining he doesn't

really understand anyway. I feel silly to whine when I read what so

many of you go through, you people amaze me and give me hope. I

think if they can do it, why am I complaining? But I am new to this

in a lot of ways and there's still so much I don't even know about

what's going on with myself. I guess everybody experiences things

differently and we all must deal with our own sets of symptoms and

problems this disease causes, we all have to find our acceptance no

matter how severe our disease is. That's really what I hope I can do

with time is accept this and find peace within myself to carry on

every day. I've learned a lot already about taking things a day at a

time, I don't think I could survive and stay sane otherwise. Sending

hugs and prayers your way! Thanks again for everything!

Love,

ee