Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 My husband had the MGB and I am an " at-home mom " . He too has only told our families and 4 of our mutual friends. He plans on answering everyone's questions with.... " He has been eating healthy (with my home cooking - NO FAST FOOD) and exercising like clock work. And that's it. He doesn't want to publicize his surgery. I hope this helps you. Best of Luck Patti in MD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 My husband had the MGB and I am an " at-home mom " . He too has only told our families and 4 of our mutual friends. He plans on answering everyone's questions with.... " He has been eating healthy (with my home cooking - NO FAST FOOD) and exercising like clock work. And that's it. He doesn't want to publicize his surgery. I hope this helps you. Best of Luck Patti in MD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 My husband had the MGB and I am an " at-home mom " . He too has only told our families and 4 of our mutual friends. He plans on answering everyone's questions with.... " He has been eating healthy (with my home cooking - NO FAST FOOD) and exercising like clock work. And that's it. He doesn't want to publicize his surgery. I hope this helps you. Best of Luck Patti in MD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 I have struggled with this same thing in deciding if I would have WLS. It's not something I felt I wanted everyone in the world to know. I don't want to be misleading or lying when people ask (and you know they will!), so I really struggled with how I would respond. I have decided that my answer will depend on the person, and if I feel they are sincere or just looking for gossip. My answer will most likely be something like this-- " Under physician's care, I have a changed my way of eating. If you would like to discuss this with me further, give me a call and I will be happy to share my story with you. " I do find that I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of telling people. At first I said NO ONE WILL KNOW! (besides my hubby, of course). But now I have 3 close friends who know that I am pursuing this. Tricia waiting for response from PCP cw021863@... wrote: > > Hello Everyone! > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. > One of my > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond > to > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know > about it > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me > for > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best > friend > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her > I > would die if I didn't). > > I know that there will be tons of questions like how much have you > lost and > how did you lose it. Has anyone else faced this and if so, how did > you > handle it? > > Thanks > > CJ > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at > Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 I have struggled with this same thing in deciding if I would have WLS. It's not something I felt I wanted everyone in the world to know. I don't want to be misleading or lying when people ask (and you know they will!), so I really struggled with how I would respond. I have decided that my answer will depend on the person, and if I feel they are sincere or just looking for gossip. My answer will most likely be something like this-- " Under physician's care, I have a changed my way of eating. If you would like to discuss this with me further, give me a call and I will be happy to share my story with you. " I do find that I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of telling people. At first I said NO ONE WILL KNOW! (besides my hubby, of course). But now I have 3 close friends who know that I am pursuing this. Tricia waiting for response from PCP cw021863@... wrote: > > Hello Everyone! > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. > One of my > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond > to > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know > about it > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me > for > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best > friend > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her > I > would die if I didn't). > > I know that there will be tons of questions like how much have you > lost and > how did you lose it. Has anyone else faced this and if so, how did > you > handle it? > > Thanks > > CJ > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at > Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Dear CJ - Did it ever occur to you that you may be less shy as the pounds shed??? As you gain confidence as every pound goes you will become more and more self assured and will blossom into a new, beautiful, secure, woman!!! Look out world - here comes CJ!!! Joanne in Ohio cw021863@... wrote: > Hello Everyone! > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of my > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > would die if I didn't). > > I know that there will be tons of questions like how much have you lost and > how did you lose it. Has anyone else faced this and if so, how did you > handle it? > > Thanks > > CJ > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > SALESFORCE.COM MAKES SOFTWARE OBSOLETE > Secure, online sales force automation with 5 users FREE for 1 year! > http://click.egroups.com/1/2658/3/_/453517/_/961647850/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Hi Darlene, An interesting perspective. Maybe someone can help me with this. My daughter, doesn't want anyone to know about the surgery (at 16 I guess maybe this is normal). I, on the other hand, feel that honesty is the best policy, esp with my large family (2 moms and dads, 8 bros and sisters plus all the attached inlaws--on my side alone!) As I will be (hopefully) having the surgery, too, I feel weird not telling my family --we are very close. They will really worry when they see the wt melting off! Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 4:56:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time, @... writes: << CJ, I am a nurse and work in long-term care. I told a few people at work that I was working on having the MGB. I don't think they really believed I would do it. I am a shy person also, but have worked there for 19 years, so I feel very comfortable with most of the employees. I spoke about having the mamogram, physical and pap test. They knew I had not had these done in a long time and HATE to have to go to the doctor. Everything came together so fast for me (only about a month from seeing my PCP to having surgery) that most people didn't know anything. When they found out I was gone for 2 weeks they dreamed up horrible ideas of what had happened. Some would catch a little snippet and make up things. There was a rumor that they found something on my pap or mamogram that was so bad that I had to go to N. C. to have it taken care of. What really happened was I found out late Thurs before Memorial weekend that I needed to be at clinic on Tues. I only worked one more day and needed to get a lot done so I only told a few that I had a date. These people did not feel that it was their business to tell my business. When I got back I went to work the next day to visit and tell my coworkers what I had done. Everyone was supportive and I let them know it was okay to ask questions. I didn't want them to think I was dying of some horrible disease when they saw me losing weight at a rapid rate. I tell people that I am happy with my decision, I am not embarrassed or ashamed that I had this surgery. I am happy to educate anyone who needs this or knows of someone that could use this. How you handle this will depend on your personality and how free you want to be with personal information. This is just my way of dealing with it. Best of luck. Darlene cw021863@... wrote: > Hello Everyone! > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of my > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > would die if I didn't). > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Hi Darlene, An interesting perspective. Maybe someone can help me with this. My daughter, doesn't want anyone to know about the surgery (at 16 I guess maybe this is normal). I, on the other hand, feel that honesty is the best policy, esp with my large family (2 moms and dads, 8 bros and sisters plus all the attached inlaws--on my side alone!) As I will be (hopefully) having the surgery, too, I feel weird not telling my family --we are very close. They will really worry when they see the wt melting off! Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 4:56:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time, @... writes: << CJ, I am a nurse and work in long-term care. I told a few people at work that I was working on having the MGB. I don't think they really believed I would do it. I am a shy person also, but have worked there for 19 years, so I feel very comfortable with most of the employees. I spoke about having the mamogram, physical and pap test. They knew I had not had these done in a long time and HATE to have to go to the doctor. Everything came together so fast for me (only about a month from seeing my PCP to having surgery) that most people didn't know anything. When they found out I was gone for 2 weeks they dreamed up horrible ideas of what had happened. Some would catch a little snippet and make up things. There was a rumor that they found something on my pap or mamogram that was so bad that I had to go to N. C. to have it taken care of. What really happened was I found out late Thurs before Memorial weekend that I needed to be at clinic on Tues. I only worked one more day and needed to get a lot done so I only told a few that I had a date. These people did not feel that it was their business to tell my business. When I got back I went to work the next day to visit and tell my coworkers what I had done. Everyone was supportive and I let them know it was okay to ask questions. I didn't want them to think I was dying of some horrible disease when they saw me losing weight at a rapid rate. I tell people that I am happy with my decision, I am not embarrassed or ashamed that I had this surgery. I am happy to educate anyone who needs this or knows of someone that could use this. How you handle this will depend on your personality and how free you want to be with personal information. This is just my way of dealing with it. Best of luck. Darlene cw021863@... wrote: > Hello Everyone! > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of my > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > would die if I didn't). > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Hi Darlene, An interesting perspective. Maybe someone can help me with this. My daughter, doesn't want anyone to know about the surgery (at 16 I guess maybe this is normal). I, on the other hand, feel that honesty is the best policy, esp with my large family (2 moms and dads, 8 bros and sisters plus all the attached inlaws--on my side alone!) As I will be (hopefully) having the surgery, too, I feel weird not telling my family --we are very close. They will really worry when they see the wt melting off! Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 4:56:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time, @... writes: << CJ, I am a nurse and work in long-term care. I told a few people at work that I was working on having the MGB. I don't think they really believed I would do it. I am a shy person also, but have worked there for 19 years, so I feel very comfortable with most of the employees. I spoke about having the mamogram, physical and pap test. They knew I had not had these done in a long time and HATE to have to go to the doctor. Everything came together so fast for me (only about a month from seeing my PCP to having surgery) that most people didn't know anything. When they found out I was gone for 2 weeks they dreamed up horrible ideas of what had happened. Some would catch a little snippet and make up things. There was a rumor that they found something on my pap or mamogram that was so bad that I had to go to N. C. to have it taken care of. What really happened was I found out late Thurs before Memorial weekend that I needed to be at clinic on Tues. I only worked one more day and needed to get a lot done so I only told a few that I had a date. These people did not feel that it was their business to tell my business. When I got back I went to work the next day to visit and tell my coworkers what I had done. Everyone was supportive and I let them know it was okay to ask questions. I didn't want them to think I was dying of some horrible disease when they saw me losing weight at a rapid rate. I tell people that I am happy with my decision, I am not embarrassed or ashamed that I had this surgery. I am happy to educate anyone who needs this or knows of someone that could use this. How you handle this will depend on your personality and how free you want to be with personal information. This is just my way of dealing with it. Best of luck. Darlene cw021863@... wrote: > Hello Everyone! > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of my > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > would die if I didn't). > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Thanks, Flo! In a message dated 6/22/00 5:34:27 PM Pacific Daylight Time, florence@... writes: << Hi Guys: I told anyone and everyone who would listen. My daughter Drema plans to have the surgery and is not telling anyone. Doesn't want to put up with being judged. She's just going to say that she's eating healthy and getting lots of exercise. It's really a very personal decision and one that each person has to make for themselves. At 16, I suspect will eventually let the cat out of the bag to a few chosen people. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Thanks, Flo! In a message dated 6/22/00 5:34:27 PM Pacific Daylight Time, florence@... writes: << Hi Guys: I told anyone and everyone who would listen. My daughter Drema plans to have the surgery and is not telling anyone. Doesn't want to put up with being judged. She's just going to say that she's eating healthy and getting lots of exercise. It's really a very personal decision and one that each person has to make for themselves. At 16, I suspect will eventually let the cat out of the bag to a few chosen people. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Thanks Marie for the thoughts. As for Chris' surgery, I am afraid we will have to wait until early Aug or so as she HAS to go to her weight loss/self esteem camp and connect with her overweight friends. Also, I want to have the surgery at the same time. We will hope for the best! Hope you are doing well! Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 5:40:37 PM Pacific Daylight Time, furball2u@... writes: << I have been Big all my life and as a fat Teen, I know if the surgery had been avalible I probably would not have wanted my school to have known it. As a matter of fact, I am 54 years old and I did not tell very many people. I do have a suggestion for you as far as Chris goes, You should schedule her surgery as soon as possible, so when school starts back she will be well adjusted to the changes. It takes a while to get adjusted to eating and being able to get all those medicines and supplyments in. (Trust Me) Your body is also going through a lot of changes. I am only 3 weeks post-op and I am still dealing with a lot of these issues. It seems like I am eating or drinking & taking meds or supplyments or vitamins all day long!! Plus if there are any complications she would have time to get over them also!! We all want to think everything will go without a hitch, but I don't mean to scare you but there is a small risk!! As exciting as the surgery is it is MAJOR surgery!! You are such a wonderful Mom to push this for your daughter she is a very lucky girl!! Marie > Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Thanks Marie for the thoughts. As for Chris' surgery, I am afraid we will have to wait until early Aug or so as she HAS to go to her weight loss/self esteem camp and connect with her overweight friends. Also, I want to have the surgery at the same time. We will hope for the best! Hope you are doing well! Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 5:40:37 PM Pacific Daylight Time, furball2u@... writes: << I have been Big all my life and as a fat Teen, I know if the surgery had been avalible I probably would not have wanted my school to have known it. As a matter of fact, I am 54 years old and I did not tell very many people. I do have a suggestion for you as far as Chris goes, You should schedule her surgery as soon as possible, so when school starts back she will be well adjusted to the changes. It takes a while to get adjusted to eating and being able to get all those medicines and supplyments in. (Trust Me) Your body is also going through a lot of changes. I am only 3 weeks post-op and I am still dealing with a lot of these issues. It seems like I am eating or drinking & taking meds or supplyments or vitamins all day long!! Plus if there are any complications she would have time to get over them also!! We all want to think everything will go without a hitch, but I don't mean to scare you but there is a small risk!! As exciting as the surgery is it is MAJOR surgery!! You are such a wonderful Mom to push this for your daughter she is a very lucky girl!! Marie > Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Hi Darlene, Thanks for sharing--sounds pretty logical to me. Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 6:14:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time, @... writes: << Debbie, You and your daughter are both fortunate to have this opportunity. I have a large son.He is 6'2 " and big but not as overweight as me. I don't know his weight. He is 21. We went to WW together when he was a senior in HS. If he gave me any idea he wanted this I would help him with it. At this time he is not ready. Your daughter needs to handle the telling of others her own way . I am sure like all of the rest of us a part of her is saying " Yeah, I've heard all these promises before. Every infomercial, magazine, mailing, and all the other ways that we have been assaulted with weight loss propositions that have failed to help us. These have made us feel like failures and skeptical of this solution and our own ability to make this decision. After all didn't I think ___,___,___and ___ were all going to be solutions to this problem? At clinic, Dr. R told us that everyone thinks that they are going to be the first one that this does not work for. I thought, how does he know what I'm thinking? Well as far as telling others I figured 1) They already knew I was fat. 2) They already knew I had tried many other ways to lose wt. 3)If I didn't tell them the truth they would make up their own stories. 4) Telling them the truth was like beating them to the punch. 5) If someone finds out something that they think you don't want others to know it makes it that much better and spreads it much faster. 6) Telling others first takes the wind out of their sails. 7) You really can't keep it a secret too long anyway, at least not when you live in a small community like I do. I chose not to tell my grandmother ahead of time as she is quite ill. I did tell my father and siblings (my mother is deceased). I did not show up for church and my grand mother asked my brother (mentally challenged) where I was. He told her I was in N.C. in the hospital. I had forgotten to tell him not to tell her. Everyone in the church was concerned. As soon as I returned the next Sunday- Doing well and as if nothing had happened. I was quizzed on how I was. I was not prepared, I excused myself and went to tell my grandmother before telling the rest of the congregation. I did tell them and several have expressed an interest in the procedure for themselves. I am so thankful that I found the site and I want others to know about it also. I don't want anyone else to waste any more of there life living with obesity. If they choose to that is one thing but not out of ignorance, not knowing that something can be done. Oh well, that is my soapbox. Darlene DebLaMan@a >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Hi Darlene, Thanks for sharing--sounds pretty logical to me. Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 6:14:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time, @... writes: << Debbie, You and your daughter are both fortunate to have this opportunity. I have a large son.He is 6'2 " and big but not as overweight as me. I don't know his weight. He is 21. We went to WW together when he was a senior in HS. If he gave me any idea he wanted this I would help him with it. At this time he is not ready. Your daughter needs to handle the telling of others her own way . I am sure like all of the rest of us a part of her is saying " Yeah, I've heard all these promises before. Every infomercial, magazine, mailing, and all the other ways that we have been assaulted with weight loss propositions that have failed to help us. These have made us feel like failures and skeptical of this solution and our own ability to make this decision. After all didn't I think ___,___,___and ___ were all going to be solutions to this problem? At clinic, Dr. R told us that everyone thinks that they are going to be the first one that this does not work for. I thought, how does he know what I'm thinking? Well as far as telling others I figured 1) They already knew I was fat. 2) They already knew I had tried many other ways to lose wt. 3)If I didn't tell them the truth they would make up their own stories. 4) Telling them the truth was like beating them to the punch. 5) If someone finds out something that they think you don't want others to know it makes it that much better and spreads it much faster. 6) Telling others first takes the wind out of their sails. 7) You really can't keep it a secret too long anyway, at least not when you live in a small community like I do. I chose not to tell my grandmother ahead of time as she is quite ill. I did tell my father and siblings (my mother is deceased). I did not show up for church and my grand mother asked my brother (mentally challenged) where I was. He told her I was in N.C. in the hospital. I had forgotten to tell him not to tell her. Everyone in the church was concerned. As soon as I returned the next Sunday- Doing well and as if nothing had happened. I was quizzed on how I was. I was not prepared, I excused myself and went to tell my grandmother before telling the rest of the congregation. I did tell them and several have expressed an interest in the procedure for themselves. I am so thankful that I found the site and I want others to know about it also. I don't want anyone else to waste any more of there life living with obesity. If they choose to that is one thing but not out of ignorance, not knowing that something can be done. Oh well, that is my soapbox. Darlene DebLaMan@a >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Hi Darlene, Thanks for sharing--sounds pretty logical to me. Regards, Debbie in IL Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 In a message dated 6/22/00 6:14:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time, @... writes: << Debbie, You and your daughter are both fortunate to have this opportunity. I have a large son.He is 6'2 " and big but not as overweight as me. I don't know his weight. He is 21. We went to WW together when he was a senior in HS. If he gave me any idea he wanted this I would help him with it. At this time he is not ready. Your daughter needs to handle the telling of others her own way . I am sure like all of the rest of us a part of her is saying " Yeah, I've heard all these promises before. Every infomercial, magazine, mailing, and all the other ways that we have been assaulted with weight loss propositions that have failed to help us. These have made us feel like failures and skeptical of this solution and our own ability to make this decision. After all didn't I think ___,___,___and ___ were all going to be solutions to this problem? At clinic, Dr. R told us that everyone thinks that they are going to be the first one that this does not work for. I thought, how does he know what I'm thinking? Well as far as telling others I figured 1) They already knew I was fat. 2) They already knew I had tried many other ways to lose wt. 3)If I didn't tell them the truth they would make up their own stories. 4) Telling them the truth was like beating them to the punch. 5) If someone finds out something that they think you don't want others to know it makes it that much better and spreads it much faster. 6) Telling others first takes the wind out of their sails. 7) You really can't keep it a secret too long anyway, at least not when you live in a small community like I do. I chose not to tell my grandmother ahead of time as she is quite ill. I did tell my father and siblings (my mother is deceased). I did not show up for church and my grand mother asked my brother (mentally challenged) where I was. He told her I was in N.C. in the hospital. I had forgotten to tell him not to tell her. Everyone in the church was concerned. As soon as I returned the next Sunday- Doing well and as if nothing had happened. I was quizzed on how I was. I was not prepared, I excused myself and went to tell my grandmother before telling the rest of the congregation. I did tell them and several have expressed an interest in the procedure for themselves. I am so thankful that I found the site and I want others to know about it also. I don't want anyone else to waste any more of there life living with obesity. If they choose to that is one thing but not out of ignorance, not knowing that something can be done. Oh well, that is my soapbox. Darlene DebLaMan@a >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Thanks Joanne, None of her friends will know--you are right about that. As for family, we are still figuring that out. Debbie in IL In a message dated 6/22/00 6:30:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time, ybuzzy@... writes: << Debbie. I can understand how your daughter feels. I too do not want to tell many people. Somehow, even though I know differently, I still feel like people think that being fat is a failing and that we can do something about it IF we really want too - so, if we have to have surgery we were weak and couldn't do it any other way. Well, the part about not being able to do it any other way is true but we are NOT weak - we probably all know more about diets and dieting than any thin person does and most doctors. It is not a personal failing. I think it would be OK for her to tell family but I would not tell the kids at school -- let them admire her for the loss not the procedure!!!! Joanne in Ohio >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Thanks Joanne, None of her friends will know--you are right about that. As for family, we are still figuring that out. Debbie in IL In a message dated 6/22/00 6:30:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time, ybuzzy@... writes: << Debbie. I can understand how your daughter feels. I too do not want to tell many people. Somehow, even though I know differently, I still feel like people think that being fat is a failing and that we can do something about it IF we really want too - so, if we have to have surgery we were weak and couldn't do it any other way. Well, the part about not being able to do it any other way is true but we are NOT weak - we probably all know more about diets and dieting than any thin person does and most doctors. It is not a personal failing. I think it would be OK for her to tell family but I would not tell the kids at school -- let them admire her for the loss not the procedure!!!! Joanne in Ohio >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Thanks Joanne, None of her friends will know--you are right about that. As for family, we are still figuring that out. Debbie in IL In a message dated 6/22/00 6:30:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time, ybuzzy@... writes: << Debbie. I can understand how your daughter feels. I too do not want to tell many people. Somehow, even though I know differently, I still feel like people think that being fat is a failing and that we can do something about it IF we really want too - so, if we have to have surgery we were weak and couldn't do it any other way. Well, the part about not being able to do it any other way is true but we are NOT weak - we probably all know more about diets and dieting than any thin person does and most doctors. It is not a personal failing. I think it would be OK for her to tell family but I would not tell the kids at school -- let them admire her for the loss not the procedure!!!! Joanne in Ohio >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 CJ, I am a nurse and work in long-term care. I told a few people at work that I was working on having the MGB. I don't think they really believed I would do it. I am a shy person also, but have worked there for 19 years, so I feel very comfortable with most of the employees. I spoke about having the mamogram, physical and pap test. They knew I had not had these done in a long time and HATE to have to go to the doctor. Everything came together so fast for me (only about a month from seeing my PCP to having surgery) that most people didn't know anything. When they found out I was gone for 2 weeks they dreamed up horrible ideas of what had happened. Some would catch a little snippet and make up things. There was a rumor that they found something on my pap or mamogram that was so bad that I had to go to N. C. to have it taken care of. What really happened was I found out late Thurs before Memorial weekend that I needed to be at clinic on Tues. I only worked one more day and needed to get a lot done so I only told a few that I had a date. These people did not feel that it was their business to tell my business. When I got back I went to work the next day to visit and tell my coworkers what I had done. Everyone was supportive and I let them know it was okay to ask questions. I didn't want them to think I was dying of some horrible disease when they saw me losing weight at a rapid rate. I tell people that I am happy with my decision, I am not embarrassed or ashamed that I had this surgery. I am happy to educate anyone who needs this or knows of someone that could use this. How you handle this will depend on your personality and how free you want to be with personal information. This is just my way of dealing with it. Best of luck. Darlene cw021863@... wrote: > Hello Everyone! > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of my > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > would die if I didn't). > > I know that there will be tons of questions like how much have you lost and > how did you lose it. Has anyone else faced this and if so, how did you > handle it? > > Thanks > > CJ > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > SALESFORCE.COM MAKES SOFTWARE OBSOLETE > Secure, online sales force automation with 5 users FREE for 1 year! > http://click.egroups.com/1/2658/3/_/453517/_/961647850/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 > > > Hello Everyone! > > > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of > my > > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > > would die if I didn't). > > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 > > > Hello Everyone! > > > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of > my > > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > > would die if I didn't). > > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 > > > Hello Everyone! > > > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of > my > > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > > would die if I didn't). > > >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Debbie, You and your daughter are both fortunate to have this opportunity. I have a large son.He is 6'2 " and big but not as overweight as me. I don't know his weight. He is 21. We went to WW together when he was a senior in HS. If he gave me any idea he wanted this I would help him with it. At this time he is not ready. Your daughter needs to handle the telling of others her own way . I am sure like all of the rest of us a part of her is saying " Yeah, I've heard all these promises before. Every infomercial, magazine, mailing, and all the other ways that we have been assaulted with weight loss propositions that have failed to help us. These have made us feel like failures and skeptical of this solution and our own ability to make this decision. After all didn't I think ___,___,___and ___ were all going to be solutions to this problem? At clinic, Dr. R told us that everyone thinks that they are going to be the first one that this does not work for. I thought, how does he know what I'm thinking? Well as far as telling others I figured 1) They already knew I was fat. 2) They already knew I had tried many other ways to lose wt. 3)If I didn't tell them the truth they would make up their own stories. 4) Telling them the truth was like beating them to the punch. 5) If someone finds out something that they think you don't want others to know it makes it that much better and spreads it much faster. 6) Telling others first takes the wind out of their sails. 7) You really can't keep it a secret too long anyway, at least not when you live in a small community like I do. I chose not to tell my grandmother ahead of time as she is quite ill. I did tell my father and siblings (my mother is deceased). I did not show up for church and my grand mother asked my brother (mentally challenged) where I was. He told her I was in N.C. in the hospital. I had forgotten to tell him not to tell her. Everyone in the church was concerned. As soon as I returned the next Sunday- Doing well and as if nothing had happened. I was quizzed on how I was. I was not prepared, I excused myself and went to tell my grandmother before telling the rest of the congregation. I did tell them and several have expressed an interest in the procedure for themselves. I am so thankful that I found the site and I want others to know about it also. I don't want anyone else to waste any more of there life living with obesity. If they choose to that is one thing but not out of ignorance, not knowing that something can be done. Oh well, that is my soapbox. Darlene DebLaMan@... wrote: > Hi Darlene, > An interesting perspective. Maybe someone can help me with this. My > daughter, doesn't want anyone to know about the surgery (at 16 I guess > maybe this is normal). I, on the other hand, feel that honesty is the best > policy, esp with my large family (2 moms and dads, 8 bros and sisters plus > all the attached inlaws--on my side alone!) As I will be (hopefully) having > the surgery, too, I feel weird not telling my family --we are very close. > They will really worry when they see the wt melting off! > > Regards, > Debbie in IL > Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) > Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 > In a message dated 6/22/00 4:56:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time, > @... writes: > > << CJ, > I am a nurse and work in long-term care. I told a few people at work that I > was > working on having the MGB. I don't think they really believed I would do it. > I > am a shy person also, but have worked there for 19 years, so I feel very > comfortable with most of the employees. I spoke about having the mamogram, > physical and pap test. They knew I had not had these done in a long time and > HATE to have to go to the doctor. Everything came together so fast for me > (only > about a month from seeing my PCP to having surgery) that most people didn't > know > anything. When they found out I was gone for 2 weeks they dreamed up > horrible > ideas of what had happened. Some would catch a little snippet and make up > things. There was a rumor that they found something on my pap or mamogram > that > was so bad that I had to go to N. C. to have it taken care of. What really > happened was I found out late Thurs before Memorial weekend that I needed to > be > at clinic on Tues. I only worked one more day and needed to get a lot done > so I > only told a few that I had a date. These people did not feel that it was > their > business to tell my business. When I got back I went to work the next day to > visit and tell my coworkers what I had done. Everyone was supportive and I > let > them know it was okay to ask questions. I didn't want them to think I was > dying > of some horrible disease when they saw me losing weight at a rapid rate. I > tell > people that I am happy with my decision, I am not embarrassed or ashamed > that I > had this surgery. I am happy to educate anyone who needs this or knows of > someone that could use this. How you handle this will depend on your > personality > and how free you want to be with personal information. This is just my way > of > dealing with it. Best of luck. > Darlene > > > cw021863@... wrote: > > > Hello Everyone! > > > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of > my > > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > > would die if I didn't). > > >> > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > STEALS AND DEALS! Cheapest prices on airfare, new cars, insurance, maids, > contractors, collectibles, more. Get exactly what you want at the lowest > price. New FREE service! > http://click.egroups.com/1/5746/3/_/453517/_/961719587/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2000 Report Share Posted June 22, 2000 Debbie, You and your daughter are both fortunate to have this opportunity. I have a large son.He is 6'2 " and big but not as overweight as me. I don't know his weight. He is 21. We went to WW together when he was a senior in HS. If he gave me any idea he wanted this I would help him with it. At this time he is not ready. Your daughter needs to handle the telling of others her own way . I am sure like all of the rest of us a part of her is saying " Yeah, I've heard all these promises before. Every infomercial, magazine, mailing, and all the other ways that we have been assaulted with weight loss propositions that have failed to help us. These have made us feel like failures and skeptical of this solution and our own ability to make this decision. After all didn't I think ___,___,___and ___ were all going to be solutions to this problem? At clinic, Dr. R told us that everyone thinks that they are going to be the first one that this does not work for. I thought, how does he know what I'm thinking? Well as far as telling others I figured 1) They already knew I was fat. 2) They already knew I had tried many other ways to lose wt. 3)If I didn't tell them the truth they would make up their own stories. 4) Telling them the truth was like beating them to the punch. 5) If someone finds out something that they think you don't want others to know it makes it that much better and spreads it much faster. 6) Telling others first takes the wind out of their sails. 7) You really can't keep it a secret too long anyway, at least not when you live in a small community like I do. I chose not to tell my grandmother ahead of time as she is quite ill. I did tell my father and siblings (my mother is deceased). I did not show up for church and my grand mother asked my brother (mentally challenged) where I was. He told her I was in N.C. in the hospital. I had forgotten to tell him not to tell her. Everyone in the church was concerned. As soon as I returned the next Sunday- Doing well and as if nothing had happened. I was quizzed on how I was. I was not prepared, I excused myself and went to tell my grandmother before telling the rest of the congregation. I did tell them and several have expressed an interest in the procedure for themselves. I am so thankful that I found the site and I want others to know about it also. I don't want anyone else to waste any more of there life living with obesity. If they choose to that is one thing but not out of ignorance, not knowing that something can be done. Oh well, that is my soapbox. Darlene DebLaMan@... wrote: > Hi Darlene, > An interesting perspective. Maybe someone can help me with this. My > daughter, doesn't want anyone to know about the surgery (at 16 I guess > maybe this is normal). I, on the other hand, feel that honesty is the best > policy, esp with my large family (2 moms and dads, 8 bros and sisters plus > all the attached inlaws--on my side alone!) As I will be (hopefully) having > the surgery, too, I feel weird not telling my family --we are very close. > They will really worry when they see the wt melting off! > > Regards, > Debbie in IL > Cigna approved on 3rd appeal for daughter (BMI 45) > Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40)--online form submitted 6/22 > In a message dated 6/22/00 4:56:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time, > @... writes: > > << CJ, > I am a nurse and work in long-term care. I told a few people at work that I > was > working on having the MGB. I don't think they really believed I would do it. > I > am a shy person also, but have worked there for 19 years, so I feel very > comfortable with most of the employees. I spoke about having the mamogram, > physical and pap test. They knew I had not had these done in a long time and > HATE to have to go to the doctor. Everything came together so fast for me > (only > about a month from seeing my PCP to having surgery) that most people didn't > know > anything. When they found out I was gone for 2 weeks they dreamed up > horrible > ideas of what had happened. Some would catch a little snippet and make up > things. There was a rumor that they found something on my pap or mamogram > that > was so bad that I had to go to N. C. to have it taken care of. What really > happened was I found out late Thurs before Memorial weekend that I needed to > be > at clinic on Tues. I only worked one more day and needed to get a lot done > so I > only told a few that I had a date. These people did not feel that it was > their > business to tell my business. When I got back I went to work the next day to > visit and tell my coworkers what I had done. Everyone was supportive and I > let > them know it was okay to ask questions. I didn't want them to think I was > dying > of some horrible disease when they saw me losing weight at a rapid rate. I > tell > people that I am happy with my decision, I am not embarrassed or ashamed > that I > had this surgery. I am happy to educate anyone who needs this or knows of > someone that could use this. How you handle this will depend on your > personality > and how free you want to be with personal information. This is just my way > of > dealing with it. Best of luck. > Darlene > > > cw021863@... wrote: > > > Hello Everyone! > > > > I have been approved and am too excited about my upcoming surgery. One of > my > > problems is that I am " very shy " and am concerned about how to respond to > > people after I lose my weight. So far, the only persons who know about it > > are my husband, teen son, best friend, and the secretary who bugged me for > > weeks to go with her to weight watchers. I am dealing with my best friend > > because she thinks I am going to die if I have the surgery (I told her I > > would die if I didn't). > > >> > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > STEALS AND DEALS! Cheapest prices on airfare, new cars, insurance, maids, > contractors, collectibles, more. Get exactly what you want at the lowest > price. New FREE service! > http://click.egroups.com/1/5746/3/_/453517/_/961719587/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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