Kim, about childrens' questions about dying

[Guest guest]

Hi, Kim. Obviously, at his age, Jack is close to the age of being able

to grasp the fact that, at least from the earthly perspective, death is a

final transformation. If his cystic fibrosis is very serious and he is very

ill, then one would want to consulting with his doctor before going into

too much detail. There is a great deal of talk of death on the news, T.V.

and radio--it is pervasive. He might just be concerned about how all

of this, including 9/11 will effect him. My kids all asked similar questions

at about age five. The stinger was, " Mom, is it really true that

lots of countries have those big bombs that could kill us all? " I think one

responds best by responding to be specific question that the child

asks. If he is in reasonably good health, you certainly can assure him

that, in the ordinary course of events, that he will outlive his parents.

All

kids worry about that. To them age 15 is " adult, " and they do not really

know how to make sense of this. I asked each of my kids, as did my

husband, just what they really wanted most to know, and we just took it

from there. We did not even assume that they really meant what they

had said, as they might have heard anything anywhere. We just " went

with what they really seemed to want to know--and no more--until the

next shattering question. I have two older adults who are carriers and

the last one who has cystic fibrosis. Because I have cystic fibrosis, we

were in a unique situation--the kid just assumed that a normal lifespan

would follow, as to date, it has. But you know your child best and Jack

trusts you or he would not have chosen you to ask his questions of.

My husband used to say about these situations, " Talk softly and carry

a big pillow! "

Love and good luck to you, Kim. Jack has a fine mother. You can han

dle this one, and will get lots of other responses that may be far more

helpful than mine.

n Rojas