Re: /re: feeling like a failure as a mother/JEN A.

[Guest guest]

This is difficult, of course. I have cystic fibrosis and our third and last

child has it as well. We found out during my third pregnancy that my

husband's nephew did not have celiace disease, but cystic fibrosis--

we both felt oddly guilty, but our paediatrician reassured us and said

that none of us really knows all of both the good and the bad things that

our children inherit. As genetic testing became more prominent and

more possible, my youngest, the one with cystic fibrosis said to me---

" Gee, Mom; I just don't see what all the fuss is about. I mean just think

of all the mean, nasty people out there who go right one having mean,

nasty children, and NO ONE WORRIES ABOUT THAT! " I still think that

she has a really valid point.

Not that it is easy, but people are now living into their late seventies

with cf. The important thing is not give up, and not to " beat up on " your

self. You were not given a choice. But we parents of children with cys

tic fibrosis can choose to give them the best opportunity for good med

ical care and the best family life possible!

Love to all of you who have found yourself in our world of cystic fibrosis

and who have times when you do feel guilty. It is hard not to, but we no

more chose this than we chose the size of our children's spleens--and

they do inherit everything from everyone on each side of the family of

each parent--not soley from us. We inherited things of which we were

unaware, too. My youngest child has an IQ of 178--now who would have

guessed? Probably brighter than both parents together! Did she

inherit that from her combination of ancestors? Most likeley, so just as

we did not feel terribly guilty after a while about her cystic fibrosis, we

took very little credit for her brains!

I hope this helps fome of you,

Love,

n