Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 In a message dated 11/18/2002 12:02:28 PM Central Standard Time, kimpayne@... writes: > > Dear , > > I agree with you! Having CF isn't a blessing, but I feel blessed by > the things CF has taught me and the people it's brought to me. > > By the way, after my son went away to college, whenever he'd call home > and say " Hi Mommy, " I eventually learned he was getting ready to ask a > favor. He still does this and the favor usually, but not always, > involves money! > > My daughter sometimes still calls me mommy, which I much prefer to the > times she looks at me like I just sprouted two heads and says very > distinctly, " MUTH-HER! " > > Last Thursday was an example of one of the blessings. > > Every Thursday my daughter makes the one-hour drive to our hometown to > teach dance. She teaches back-to-back classes from 2:30-8:45, so by > the time she's finished her adrenaline is quite high and she's > wide-awake. > > I've learned to count on my phone ringing around 9:00 every Thursday; > calls after dance and we chat for a portion on her drive home > (even though it's during my favorite television program!) > > Last Thursday, the phone rang at 9:03, and I picked it up thinking, > " Like clockwork, it's . " But it was her dad. > > (I'm still not sure know why he called, but he's been calling more > frequently since his cancer surgery in September, and he just called > the week before, a couple days after beginning radiation.) But he was > in a good mood and said was stopping by after dance and that > he'd put apple and cherry pies into the oven so she could take some > pie home with her. > > So here I have on eye and one ear tuned to the television trying to > follow ER, while also trying to answer a question he asked. Suddenly, > I hear " Hi Mommy! " in my ear. had arrived at her dad's house > and he'd handed her the phone. > > She immediately started chattering about her day at dance, and how > awful she felt because she had to put to little girls in time out and > both cried, and one was really upset because now her grandmother > wouldn't take her to Mcs... (when 's adrenaline is high, > it's high -- she keeps going like the energizer bunny!). > > I'm listening to but still trying to follow ER and it's getting > confusing, so I say, " , your dad said he baked a couple pies for > you! " And she said, " Pie?! Where? I'm starving! " So I whispered, " I'm > so glad you got on the phone because I don't know why your dad called > or what he wanted, and the conversation was going no where and ER is > on! So I'll let you go visit with your dad and I'll talk to you later, > okay? " > > So we said good bye and I finished watching ER, and I felt rather > let-down that I'd not had a longer conversation with . But I was > glad she'd stopped by to visit her dad even though she doesn't always > feel that close to him. > > Shortly after 11:00 pm, the phone rang again; it was . " Guess > what?! I just saw a shooting star! At first I thought it was a plane > falling but then I thought, 'no, can't be' and it wasn't! It was a > shooting star! I saw my first shooting star! " > > I said, " Oh, lucky you! Did you make a wish? Hurry! Make a wish! " > And there was this long pause while she made her wish, and I made a > wish too because I figured it couldn't hurt. > > had just left her dad's house and was on her way home with her > apple pie -- driving over a stretch of uncrowded highway that cuts > across the Oklahoma praire, where you have unobstructed views of big > skies and bright stars. > > We ended up chatting even after she parked the car, hanging up when > she was safely inside the door at home. > > And once more, I realized how blessed I am to have these two wonderful > children who often call just to tell me about their day, or find out > what I'm doing. I know I should learn from their example and call my > parents more frequently but I just don't feel that same connection. > > I always hope that when I grow up, I'll be just like my kids! > > Kim > Mom to (23 with cf and asthma) and (asthma, no cf) > > > > I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children > > safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but > > our " healthy " children as well. > > > > I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, > > these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do > > they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we > > really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the > > perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. > > Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had > > one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and > > loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface > > does not mean it's not there. > > > > As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful > > disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as > well? > > I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we > > love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. > > But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that > > love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up > so > > much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent > > tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has > > comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, > > while I cry at the injustice of it all. > > > > Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, > and > > tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering > if > > the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their > > children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, > > and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of > the > > way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the > > mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to > drugs > > or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will > be > > there to show their love, and forget to live for today. > > > > This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count > > my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion > > is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is > a > > blessing to be counted here. > > > > Kim, You have a very neat ways with words!! You must be a very special mom! Deb A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 In a message dated 11/18/2002 12:02:28 PM Central Standard Time, kimpayne@... writes: > > Dear , > > I agree with you! Having CF isn't a blessing, but I feel blessed by > the things CF has taught me and the people it's brought to me. > > By the way, after my son went away to college, whenever he'd call home > and say " Hi Mommy, " I eventually learned he was getting ready to ask a > favor. He still does this and the favor usually, but not always, > involves money! > > My daughter sometimes still calls me mommy, which I much prefer to the > times she looks at me like I just sprouted two heads and says very > distinctly, " MUTH-HER! " > > Last Thursday was an example of one of the blessings. > > Every Thursday my daughter makes the one-hour drive to our hometown to > teach dance. She teaches back-to-back classes from 2:30-8:45, so by > the time she's finished her adrenaline is quite high and she's > wide-awake. > > I've learned to count on my phone ringing around 9:00 every Thursday; > calls after dance and we chat for a portion on her drive home > (even though it's during my favorite television program!) > > Last Thursday, the phone rang at 9:03, and I picked it up thinking, > " Like clockwork, it's . " But it was her dad. > > (I'm still not sure know why he called, but he's been calling more > frequently since his cancer surgery in September, and he just called > the week before, a couple days after beginning radiation.) But he was > in a good mood and said was stopping by after dance and that > he'd put apple and cherry pies into the oven so she could take some > pie home with her. > > So here I have on eye and one ear tuned to the television trying to > follow ER, while also trying to answer a question he asked. Suddenly, > I hear " Hi Mommy! " in my ear. had arrived at her dad's house > and he'd handed her the phone. > > She immediately started chattering about her day at dance, and how > awful she felt because she had to put to little girls in time out and > both cried, and one was really upset because now her grandmother > wouldn't take her to Mcs... (when 's adrenaline is high, > it's high -- she keeps going like the energizer bunny!). > > I'm listening to but still trying to follow ER and it's getting > confusing, so I say, " , your dad said he baked a couple pies for > you! " And she said, " Pie?! Where? I'm starving! " So I whispered, " I'm > so glad you got on the phone because I don't know why your dad called > or what he wanted, and the conversation was going no where and ER is > on! So I'll let you go visit with your dad and I'll talk to you later, > okay? " > > So we said good bye and I finished watching ER, and I felt rather > let-down that I'd not had a longer conversation with . But I was > glad she'd stopped by to visit her dad even though she doesn't always > feel that close to him. > > Shortly after 11:00 pm, the phone rang again; it was . " Guess > what?! I just saw a shooting star! At first I thought it was a plane > falling but then I thought, 'no, can't be' and it wasn't! It was a > shooting star! I saw my first shooting star! " > > I said, " Oh, lucky you! Did you make a wish? Hurry! Make a wish! " > And there was this long pause while she made her wish, and I made a > wish too because I figured it couldn't hurt. > > had just left her dad's house and was on her way home with her > apple pie -- driving over a stretch of uncrowded highway that cuts > across the Oklahoma praire, where you have unobstructed views of big > skies and bright stars. > > We ended up chatting even after she parked the car, hanging up when > she was safely inside the door at home. > > And once more, I realized how blessed I am to have these two wonderful > children who often call just to tell me about their day, or find out > what I'm doing. I know I should learn from their example and call my > parents more frequently but I just don't feel that same connection. > > I always hope that when I grow up, I'll be just like my kids! > > Kim > Mom to (23 with cf and asthma) and (asthma, no cf) > > > > I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children > > safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but > > our " healthy " children as well. > > > > I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, > > these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do > > they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we > > really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the > > perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. > > Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had > > one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and > > loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface > > does not mean it's not there. > > > > As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful > > disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as > well? > > I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we > > love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. > > But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that > > love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up > so > > much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent > > tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has > > comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, > > while I cry at the injustice of it all. > > > > Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, > and > > tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering > if > > the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their > > children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, > > and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of > the > > way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the > > mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to > drugs > > or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will > be > > there to show their love, and forget to live for today. > > > > This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count > > my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion > > is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is > a > > blessing to be counted here. > > > > Kim, You have a very neat ways with words!! You must be a very special mom! Deb A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 In a message dated 11/18/2002 12:02:28 PM Central Standard Time, kimpayne@... writes: > > Dear , > > I agree with you! Having CF isn't a blessing, but I feel blessed by > the things CF has taught me and the people it's brought to me. > > By the way, after my son went away to college, whenever he'd call home > and say " Hi Mommy, " I eventually learned he was getting ready to ask a > favor. He still does this and the favor usually, but not always, > involves money! > > My daughter sometimes still calls me mommy, which I much prefer to the > times she looks at me like I just sprouted two heads and says very > distinctly, " MUTH-HER! " > > Last Thursday was an example of one of the blessings. > > Every Thursday my daughter makes the one-hour drive to our hometown to > teach dance. She teaches back-to-back classes from 2:30-8:45, so by > the time she's finished her adrenaline is quite high and she's > wide-awake. > > I've learned to count on my phone ringing around 9:00 every Thursday; > calls after dance and we chat for a portion on her drive home > (even though it's during my favorite television program!) > > Last Thursday, the phone rang at 9:03, and I picked it up thinking, > " Like clockwork, it's . " But it was her dad. > > (I'm still not sure know why he called, but he's been calling more > frequently since his cancer surgery in September, and he just called > the week before, a couple days after beginning radiation.) But he was > in a good mood and said was stopping by after dance and that > he'd put apple and cherry pies into the oven so she could take some > pie home with her. > > So here I have on eye and one ear tuned to the television trying to > follow ER, while also trying to answer a question he asked. Suddenly, > I hear " Hi Mommy! " in my ear. had arrived at her dad's house > and he'd handed her the phone. > > She immediately started chattering about her day at dance, and how > awful she felt because she had to put to little girls in time out and > both cried, and one was really upset because now her grandmother > wouldn't take her to Mcs... (when 's adrenaline is high, > it's high -- she keeps going like the energizer bunny!). > > I'm listening to but still trying to follow ER and it's getting > confusing, so I say, " , your dad said he baked a couple pies for > you! " And she said, " Pie?! Where? I'm starving! " So I whispered, " I'm > so glad you got on the phone because I don't know why your dad called > or what he wanted, and the conversation was going no where and ER is > on! So I'll let you go visit with your dad and I'll talk to you later, > okay? " > > So we said good bye and I finished watching ER, and I felt rather > let-down that I'd not had a longer conversation with . But I was > glad she'd stopped by to visit her dad even though she doesn't always > feel that close to him. > > Shortly after 11:00 pm, the phone rang again; it was . " Guess > what?! I just saw a shooting star! At first I thought it was a plane > falling but then I thought, 'no, can't be' and it wasn't! It was a > shooting star! I saw my first shooting star! " > > I said, " Oh, lucky you! Did you make a wish? Hurry! Make a wish! " > And there was this long pause while she made her wish, and I made a > wish too because I figured it couldn't hurt. > > had just left her dad's house and was on her way home with her > apple pie -- driving over a stretch of uncrowded highway that cuts > across the Oklahoma praire, where you have unobstructed views of big > skies and bright stars. > > We ended up chatting even after she parked the car, hanging up when > she was safely inside the door at home. > > And once more, I realized how blessed I am to have these two wonderful > children who often call just to tell me about their day, or find out > what I'm doing. I know I should learn from their example and call my > parents more frequently but I just don't feel that same connection. > > I always hope that when I grow up, I'll be just like my kids! > > Kim > Mom to (23 with cf and asthma) and (asthma, no cf) > > > > I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children > > safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but > > our " healthy " children as well. > > > > I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, > > these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do > > they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we > > really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the > > perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. > > Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had > > one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and > > loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface > > does not mean it's not there. > > > > As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful > > disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as > well? > > I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we > > love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. > > But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that > > love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up > so > > much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent > > tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has > > comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, > > while I cry at the injustice of it all. > > > > Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, > and > > tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering > if > > the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their > > children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, > > and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of > the > > way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the > > mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to > drugs > > or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will > be > > there to show their love, and forget to live for today. > > > > This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count > > my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion > > is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is > a > > blessing to be counted here. > > > > Kim, You have a very neat ways with words!! You must be a very special mom! Deb A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but our " healthy " children as well. I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface does not mean it's not there. As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, while I cry at the injustice of it all. Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be there to show their love, and forget to live for today. This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a blessing to be counted here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but our " healthy " children as well. I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface does not mean it's not there. As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, while I cry at the injustice of it all. Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be there to show their love, and forget to live for today. This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a blessing to be counted here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Dear Diane, Thank you for your very thoughtful post. It was so lovely AND loving for each of us to take from it .our feelings as well. As you said, we are each different in the way we have pain, & endure it. But , we all have it ....and hopefully , those on these lists have that comfort from each other as well. I hold your Josh in my special thoughts.......... LOVE & HUGS to you & yours. GrandmomBev Re: Makes my blood boil I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but our " healthy " children as well. I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface does not mean it's not there. As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, while I cry at the injustice of it all. Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be there to show their love, and forget to live for today. This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a blessing to be counted here. PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. ------------------------------------------- The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY be construed as medical advice. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. -------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Dear Diane, Thank you for your very thoughtful post. It was so lovely AND loving for each of us to take from it .our feelings as well. As you said, we are each different in the way we have pain, & endure it. But , we all have it ....and hopefully , those on these lists have that comfort from each other as well. I hold your Josh in my special thoughts.......... LOVE & HUGS to you & yours. GrandmomBev Re: Makes my blood boil I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but our " healthy " children as well. I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface does not mean it's not there. As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, while I cry at the injustice of it all. Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be there to show their love, and forget to live for today. This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a blessing to be counted here. PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. ------------------------------------------- The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY be construed as medical advice. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. -------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Dear , I agree with you! Having CF isn't a blessing, but I feel blessed by the things CF has taught me and the people it's brought to me. By the way, after my son went away to college, whenever he'd call home and say " Hi Mommy, " I eventually learned he was getting ready to ask a favor. He still does this and the favor usually, but not always, involves money! My daughter sometimes still calls me mommy, which I much prefer to the times she looks at me like I just sprouted two heads and says very distinctly, " MUTH-HER! " Last Thursday was an example of one of the blessings. Every Thursday my daughter makes the one-hour drive to our hometown to teach dance. She teaches back-to-back classes from 2:30-8:45, so by the time she's finished her adrenaline is quite high and she's wide-awake. I've learned to count on my phone ringing around 9:00 every Thursday; calls after dance and we chat for a portion on her drive home (even though it's during my favorite television program!) Last Thursday, the phone rang at 9:03, and I picked it up thinking, " Like clockwork, it's . " But it was her dad. (I'm still not sure know why he called, but he's been calling more frequently since his cancer surgery in September, and he just called the week before, a couple days after beginning radiation.) But he was in a good mood and said was stopping by after dance and that he'd put apple and cherry pies into the oven so she could take some pie home with her. So here I have on eye and one ear tuned to the television trying to follow ER, while also trying to answer a question he asked. Suddenly, I hear " Hi Mommy! " in my ear. had arrived at her dad's house and he'd handed her the phone. She immediately started chattering about her day at dance, and how awful she felt because she had to put to little girls in time out and both cried, and one was really upset because now her grandmother wouldn't take her to Mcs... (when 's adrenaline is high, it's high -- she keeps going like the energizer bunny!). I'm listening to but still trying to follow ER and it's getting confusing, so I say, " , your dad said he baked a couple pies for you! " And she said, " Pie?! Where? I'm starving! " So I whispered, " I'm so glad you got on the phone because I don't know why your dad called or what he wanted, and the conversation was going no where and ER is on! So I'll let you go visit with your dad and I'll talk to you later, okay? " So we said good bye and I finished watching ER, and I felt rather let-down that I'd not had a longer conversation with . But I was glad she'd stopped by to visit her dad even though she doesn't always feel that close to him. Shortly after 11:00 pm, the phone rang again; it was . " Guess what?! I just saw a shooting star! At first I thought it was a plane falling but then I thought, 'no, can't be' and it wasn't! It was a shooting star! I saw my first shooting star! " I said, " Oh, lucky you! Did you make a wish? Hurry! Make a wish! " And there was this long pause while she made her wish, and I made a wish too because I figured it couldn't hurt. had just left her dad's house and was on her way home with her apple pie -- driving over a stretch of uncrowded highway that cuts across the Oklahoma praire, where you have unobstructed views of big skies and bright stars. We ended up chatting even after she parked the car, hanging up when she was safely inside the door at home. And once more, I realized how blessed I am to have these two wonderful children who often call just to tell me about their day, or find out what I'm doing. I know I should learn from their example and call my parents more frequently but I just don't feel that same connection. I always hope that when I grow up, I'll be just like my kids! Kim Mom to (23 with cf and asthma) and (asthma, no cf) > I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children > safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but > our " healthy " children as well. > > I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, > these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do > they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we > really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the > perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. > Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had > one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and > loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface > does not mean it's not there. > > As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful > disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? > I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we > love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. > But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that > love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so > much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent > tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has > comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, > while I cry at the injustice of it all. > > Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and > tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if > the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their > children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, > and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the > way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the > mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs > or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be > there to show their love, and forget to live for today. > > This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count > my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion > is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a > blessing to be counted here. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Thanks Bev, It seems that you always have a kind word and such a careing heart. Your family is truely lucky to have you. You have inspired me for many months as I " lurked " on Cystic-L, and you continue to inspire me daily. Re: Makes my blood boil I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but our " healthy " children as well. I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface does not mean it's not there. As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, while I cry at the injustice of it all. Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be there to show their love, and forget to live for today. This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a blessing to be counted here. PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. ------------------------------------------- The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY be construed as medical advice. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. -------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Thanks Bev, It seems that you always have a kind word and such a careing heart. Your family is truely lucky to have you. You have inspired me for many months as I " lurked " on Cystic-L, and you continue to inspire me daily. Re: Makes my blood boil I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but our " healthy " children as well. I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface does not mean it's not there. As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, while I cry at the injustice of it all. Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be there to show their love, and forget to live for today. This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a blessing to be counted here. PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. ------------------------------------------- The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY be construed as medical advice. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. -------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2002 Report Share Posted November 18, 2002 Thanks Bev, It seems that you always have a kind word and such a careing heart. Your family is truely lucky to have you. You have inspired me for many months as I " lurked " on Cystic-L, and you continue to inspire me daily. Re: Makes my blood boil I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our children safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness, but our " healthy " children as well. I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why not, these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do we really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring alcoholic. Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that had one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain and loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the surface does not mean it's not there. As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this awful disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as well? I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know we love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying it. But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep that love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs up so much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the silent tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little man, while I cry at the injustice of it all. Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight, and tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm wondering if the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from this, and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of the way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to drugs or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow will be there to show their love, and forget to live for today. This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I count my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my opinion is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there is a blessing to be counted here. PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. ------------------------------------------- The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY be construed as medical advice. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. -------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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