Re: Makes my blood boil / Kim

[Guest guest]

> > I think as parents, we are all concerned with keeping our

children

> > safe and pain free. Not just our children with chronic illness,

but

> > our " healthy " children as well.

> >

> > I could be angry with life and everyone in it if I chose. Why

not,

> > these people do not deal with the pain and loss that we do. Or do

> > they? These perfect children with these perfect families, what do

we

> > really know about them? Does daddy make late night visits to the

> > perfect little girls bedroom? Is mommy an angry uncaring

alcoholic.

> > Will thier sweet perfect little son get run down by the guy that

had

> > one to many margarits at happy hour? Every family suffers pain

and

> > loss in their own way. Just because we don't see it on the

surface

> > does not mean it's not there.

> >

> > As angry as I am about the thought of loosing my son to this

awful

> > disease, would you believe that I have also gained something as

> well?

> > I have seven children. 17 yrs to 18 mo old twins. They all know

we

> > love them. We are a very vocal family and have no problem saying

it.

> > But of all my kids, seems to REALLY understand how deep

that

> > love goes. Only has had me support his body as he coughs

up

> so

> > much blood that I'm conviced I'm loosing him. He has seen the

silent

> > tears run down my cheeks as I try not to show my fear. He has

> > comforted me during his procedures, acting like such a little

man,

> > while I cry at the injustice of it all.

> >

> > Every night my 14 yr old never fails to kiss me goodnight,

> and

> > tell me I love you mommy. Not mom, or ma, but mommy. I'm

wondering

> if

> > the healthy prefect people have this kind of bond with their

> > children? I'm thankful that we've had the chance to grow from

this,

> > and if we loose this battle, Josh knows I was there every step of

> the

> > way trying to absorb his pain. I consider myself luckier than the

> > mother of the perfect child that looses her child needlessly to

> drugs

> > or gang life. Because these people always think that tomorrow

will

> be

> > there to show their love, and forget to live for today.

> >

> > This is only my opinion. It's how I choose to live my life. I

count

> > my blessings, no matter how small. I'm not trying to say my

opinion

> > is the right one. Just saying that if you look deep enough there

is

> a

> > blessing to be counted here.

> >

> >