Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 In a message dated 6/10/00 1:51:04 PM Central Daylight Time, florence@... writes: << Now that le has educated us that this is not a negative term in the black community we understand and we don't have to be offended by that term on someone's behalf. >> Flo, See, now we can all be happy and play nice. In a perfect world, everyone would know, understand, and appreciate each other's culture. But, since it aint so, I have to help out every once awhile. There are plenty of things I could explain, but I might lose my " being Black membership card " . LOL le Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 In a message dated 6/10/2000 4:05:04 PM Eastern Daylight Time, CuteAKA2nv@... writes: << could explain, but I might lose my " being Black membership card " . LOL le >> le, your a hoot! lol..You have got to meet my friend Tonya she is new to the list, She Lives here in Las Vegas. Trisha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 In a message dated 6/10/2000 4:05:04 PM Eastern Daylight Time, CuteAKA2nv@... writes: << could explain, but I might lose my " being Black membership card " . LOL le >> le, your a hoot! lol..You have got to meet my friend Tonya she is new to the list, She Lives here in Las Vegas. Trisha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 In a message dated 6/10/2000 4:05:04 PM Eastern Daylight Time, CuteAKA2nv@... writes: << could explain, but I might lose my " being Black membership card " . LOL le >> le, your a hoot! lol..You have got to meet my friend Tonya she is new to the list, She Lives here in Las Vegas. Trisha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Flo, I am so glad to hear that so many things are clearing up for you. There are things about this surgery and process that I don't understand. I expected to have many problems resolved but not as quickly as they have. I am now 7 days post-op. I do not own a scale, threw it out years ago. I can now go up steps like a " civilian " , rather than one at a time. Last night I parked at the end of a parking lot and knew I would have no trouble walking where I needed to. One of my problems was incontinence and that too was resolved with surgery except for a small quantity with a sneeze, we do get personal here now don't we. I expected these improvements but not this soon. I have lost weight before but have never seen such great changes with so little weight change. My joint pain bothered me more than anything surgical but that too is gone. Now I am still a BIG girl so how can that be? Every Fri night my husband and I go out to dinner with another couple. Last night we went to Ruby Tuesday as it just opened in our town. I had water and 3/4 of a saltine, that was all I needed. I thought about applesauce but while looking at the salad bar, a friend who had RNY came to the salad bar. That was too weird. She asked me about my wls plans. Obviously, my wt loss is not noticable yet. I told her I was back and just trying to decide what to eat. After what she went through, she was still in the hospital with an NG tube at the point I am, she was impressed. I was going to have applesauce but she advised me not to when I didn't know how much sugar was in it. I had my cracker and enjoyed the friendship. As you said, Life is good. I know you can't wait to get that pool finished and play with the grandkids. Pools are nice because we have been able to function in them. But now we can do that out of the pool. We have been blessed. As for the prejudice, I probable expect too much from others sometimes. As you pointed out if I check I am sure that I too have some that creep in and that others may be more aware of than I. As for your husband, I hope he has better luck losing the wt. than we ever did and that it doesn't mess him up like dieting did for us. I still rooting for you to be thinner than he is. I was at an all time low when I met my husband. I was 132, less than even high school. He has never said anything to me about my wt. but I would sure love to be less than him. Darlene Flo Ballengee wrote: > Hey Darlene: You won't believe this...but I'm not going to yard sales > today!! I am staying home to help with the pool. It is green because a part > was ordered 8 wks ago and hadn't come in. It's in now and I need to help. We > should have it ready to swim in by tomorrow evening. The kids next door...my > grandkids...are chomping at the bit to get in. Everyone is amazed that I'm > not out at yard sales today. > > I have NO swelling in my ankles or feet. > I CAN walk with no pain and am not on arthritis medication. > I am NOT hungry > I have NO cravings > > Life is so good!!! (Except cold, icy water which I want to chug, not sip). > > Darlene, we expect those who have suffered prejudice to champion every cause > when it comes to prejudice and to have none of their own. My best friend is > a 43-year-old black man who is the director of a halfway house for > alcoholics and drug addicts. As friends, we have suffered prejudice. We are > often stared at when we go out for lunch, when we ride in a car, run to > Wal-Mart, etc. Yet when we go out as two couples, he and his wife and my > husband and I, there are no stares. The assumption is that the two women are > friends and that is ok. But it's not ok for a white woman and a black man to > be friends. Phooey. > > I would have thought Larry had no prejudice but he does. I catch him so > many times in prejudice. He was very supportive of my surgery and I sense > no prejudice against weight..defensiveness if anything. But although he > won't admit it...I sense prejudice against anyone who doesn't work hard and > have a good job. I see a tinge of prejudice against orientals too. When I > call him on it..he says no..but when you are close to someone for ten > years..you know. We had a discussion about the whole thing of > prejudice..and we concluded that most people have them; they vary from > person to person. They're no longer socially acceptable..but most of us have > them. I think that weight is one of the few remaining socially acceptable > prejudices. If it were me...I would confront this man on his poor taste but > then I'm one ballsy broad (apologies for the descriptor). > > Have a great day Darlene. We sure are on an adventure. This morning I told > my husband by this time next year I would weigh less than him. He said no > you won't...I'm going on a diet. He's 195 and should be about 165...so any > way you cut it, I'm likely to be at his weight or less next year. Not bad > for a girl who weighed 232 on her wedding day 35 years ago! > > Flo in land > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Phone bills too big? Don't worry, beMANY! > http://click.egroups.com/1/4113/2/_/453517/_/960641734/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Flo, I am so glad to hear that so many things are clearing up for you. There are things about this surgery and process that I don't understand. I expected to have many problems resolved but not as quickly as they have. I am now 7 days post-op. I do not own a scale, threw it out years ago. I can now go up steps like a " civilian " , rather than one at a time. Last night I parked at the end of a parking lot and knew I would have no trouble walking where I needed to. One of my problems was incontinence and that too was resolved with surgery except for a small quantity with a sneeze, we do get personal here now don't we. I expected these improvements but not this soon. I have lost weight before but have never seen such great changes with so little weight change. My joint pain bothered me more than anything surgical but that too is gone. Now I am still a BIG girl so how can that be? Every Fri night my husband and I go out to dinner with another couple. Last night we went to Ruby Tuesday as it just opened in our town. I had water and 3/4 of a saltine, that was all I needed. I thought about applesauce but while looking at the salad bar, a friend who had RNY came to the salad bar. That was too weird. She asked me about my wls plans. Obviously, my wt loss is not noticable yet. I told her I was back and just trying to decide what to eat. After what she went through, she was still in the hospital with an NG tube at the point I am, she was impressed. I was going to have applesauce but she advised me not to when I didn't know how much sugar was in it. I had my cracker and enjoyed the friendship. As you said, Life is good. I know you can't wait to get that pool finished and play with the grandkids. Pools are nice because we have been able to function in them. But now we can do that out of the pool. We have been blessed. As for the prejudice, I probable expect too much from others sometimes. As you pointed out if I check I am sure that I too have some that creep in and that others may be more aware of than I. As for your husband, I hope he has better luck losing the wt. than we ever did and that it doesn't mess him up like dieting did for us. I still rooting for you to be thinner than he is. I was at an all time low when I met my husband. I was 132, less than even high school. He has never said anything to me about my wt. but I would sure love to be less than him. Darlene Flo Ballengee wrote: > Hey Darlene: You won't believe this...but I'm not going to yard sales > today!! I am staying home to help with the pool. It is green because a part > was ordered 8 wks ago and hadn't come in. It's in now and I need to help. We > should have it ready to swim in by tomorrow evening. The kids next door...my > grandkids...are chomping at the bit to get in. Everyone is amazed that I'm > not out at yard sales today. > > I have NO swelling in my ankles or feet. > I CAN walk with no pain and am not on arthritis medication. > I am NOT hungry > I have NO cravings > > Life is so good!!! (Except cold, icy water which I want to chug, not sip). > > Darlene, we expect those who have suffered prejudice to champion every cause > when it comes to prejudice and to have none of their own. My best friend is > a 43-year-old black man who is the director of a halfway house for > alcoholics and drug addicts. As friends, we have suffered prejudice. We are > often stared at when we go out for lunch, when we ride in a car, run to > Wal-Mart, etc. Yet when we go out as two couples, he and his wife and my > husband and I, there are no stares. The assumption is that the two women are > friends and that is ok. But it's not ok for a white woman and a black man to > be friends. Phooey. > > I would have thought Larry had no prejudice but he does. I catch him so > many times in prejudice. He was very supportive of my surgery and I sense > no prejudice against weight..defensiveness if anything. But although he > won't admit it...I sense prejudice against anyone who doesn't work hard and > have a good job. I see a tinge of prejudice against orientals too. When I > call him on it..he says no..but when you are close to someone for ten > years..you know. We had a discussion about the whole thing of > prejudice..and we concluded that most people have them; they vary from > person to person. They're no longer socially acceptable..but most of us have > them. I think that weight is one of the few remaining socially acceptable > prejudices. If it were me...I would confront this man on his poor taste but > then I'm one ballsy broad (apologies for the descriptor). > > Have a great day Darlene. We sure are on an adventure. This morning I told > my husband by this time next year I would weigh less than him. He said no > you won't...I'm going on a diet. He's 195 and should be about 165...so any > way you cut it, I'm likely to be at his weight or less next year. Not bad > for a girl who weighed 232 on her wedding day 35 years ago! > > Flo in land > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Phone bills too big? Don't worry, beMANY! > http://click.egroups.com/1/4113/2/_/453517/_/960641734/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Flo, I am so glad to hear that so many things are clearing up for you. There are things about this surgery and process that I don't understand. I expected to have many problems resolved but not as quickly as they have. I am now 7 days post-op. I do not own a scale, threw it out years ago. I can now go up steps like a " civilian " , rather than one at a time. Last night I parked at the end of a parking lot and knew I would have no trouble walking where I needed to. One of my problems was incontinence and that too was resolved with surgery except for a small quantity with a sneeze, we do get personal here now don't we. I expected these improvements but not this soon. I have lost weight before but have never seen such great changes with so little weight change. My joint pain bothered me more than anything surgical but that too is gone. Now I am still a BIG girl so how can that be? Every Fri night my husband and I go out to dinner with another couple. Last night we went to Ruby Tuesday as it just opened in our town. I had water and 3/4 of a saltine, that was all I needed. I thought about applesauce but while looking at the salad bar, a friend who had RNY came to the salad bar. That was too weird. She asked me about my wls plans. Obviously, my wt loss is not noticable yet. I told her I was back and just trying to decide what to eat. After what she went through, she was still in the hospital with an NG tube at the point I am, she was impressed. I was going to have applesauce but she advised me not to when I didn't know how much sugar was in it. I had my cracker and enjoyed the friendship. As you said, Life is good. I know you can't wait to get that pool finished and play with the grandkids. Pools are nice because we have been able to function in them. But now we can do that out of the pool. We have been blessed. As for the prejudice, I probable expect too much from others sometimes. As you pointed out if I check I am sure that I too have some that creep in and that others may be more aware of than I. As for your husband, I hope he has better luck losing the wt. than we ever did and that it doesn't mess him up like dieting did for us. I still rooting for you to be thinner than he is. I was at an all time low when I met my husband. I was 132, less than even high school. He has never said anything to me about my wt. but I would sure love to be less than him. Darlene Flo Ballengee wrote: > Hey Darlene: You won't believe this...but I'm not going to yard sales > today!! I am staying home to help with the pool. It is green because a part > was ordered 8 wks ago and hadn't come in. It's in now and I need to help. We > should have it ready to swim in by tomorrow evening. The kids next door...my > grandkids...are chomping at the bit to get in. Everyone is amazed that I'm > not out at yard sales today. > > I have NO swelling in my ankles or feet. > I CAN walk with no pain and am not on arthritis medication. > I am NOT hungry > I have NO cravings > > Life is so good!!! (Except cold, icy water which I want to chug, not sip). > > Darlene, we expect those who have suffered prejudice to champion every cause > when it comes to prejudice and to have none of their own. My best friend is > a 43-year-old black man who is the director of a halfway house for > alcoholics and drug addicts. As friends, we have suffered prejudice. We are > often stared at when we go out for lunch, when we ride in a car, run to > Wal-Mart, etc. Yet when we go out as two couples, he and his wife and my > husband and I, there are no stares. The assumption is that the two women are > friends and that is ok. But it's not ok for a white woman and a black man to > be friends. Phooey. > > I would have thought Larry had no prejudice but he does. I catch him so > many times in prejudice. He was very supportive of my surgery and I sense > no prejudice against weight..defensiveness if anything. But although he > won't admit it...I sense prejudice against anyone who doesn't work hard and > have a good job. I see a tinge of prejudice against orientals too. When I > call him on it..he says no..but when you are close to someone for ten > years..you know. We had a discussion about the whole thing of > prejudice..and we concluded that most people have them; they vary from > person to person. They're no longer socially acceptable..but most of us have > them. I think that weight is one of the few remaining socially acceptable > prejudices. If it were me...I would confront this man on his poor taste but > then I'm one ballsy broad (apologies for the descriptor). > > Have a great day Darlene. We sure are on an adventure. This morning I told > my husband by this time next year I would weigh less than him. He said no > you won't...I'm going on a diet. He's 195 and should be about 165...so any > way you cut it, I'm likely to be at his weight or less next year. Not bad > for a girl who weighed 232 on her wedding day 35 years ago! > > Flo in land > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Phone bills too big? Don't worry, beMANY! > http://click.egroups.com/1/4113/2/_/453517/_/960641734/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 No, Trish, I haven't met Tonya yet...but can I consider this my official intro?...Hey Tonya... le Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Hello everyone I just wanted to give my two cents on the matter I am an African American woman and I do not feel that being called Big Mama is something negative or a put down. Is is all in the way that you use a term. tonya --- yarnmama@... wrote: > > In a message dated 6/10/00 9:14:05 AM, > CuteAKA2nv@... writes: > > << A Big Mama is a grand mother. The term big has > nothing > to do with size. It has everything to do with > elevating the status of the > grandmother and delineating her from the mother. >> > > Hey, le! I work with many > African-Americans...and they call me " Big > Mama " or " Big Girl " or even " Big Sister " at times. > It's a positive term in > my experience. I'm a large woman...but I'm also > older than many of the men > I work with. You're absolutely correct; I have > never felt maligned or put > down by being called any of those things. Isn't it > funny how we sometimes > forget to celebrate our differences? Dee in MI. > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Hello everyone I just wanted to give my two cents on the matter I am an African American woman and I do not feel that being called Big Mama is something negative or a put down. Is is all in the way that you use a term. tonya --- yarnmama@... wrote: > > In a message dated 6/10/00 9:14:05 AM, > CuteAKA2nv@... writes: > > << A Big Mama is a grand mother. The term big has > nothing > to do with size. It has everything to do with > elevating the status of the > grandmother and delineating her from the mother. >> > > Hey, le! I work with many > African-Americans...and they call me " Big > Mama " or " Big Girl " or even " Big Sister " at times. > It's a positive term in > my experience. I'm a large woman...but I'm also > older than many of the men > I work with. You're absolutely correct; I have > never felt maligned or put > down by being called any of those things. Isn't it > funny how we sometimes > forget to celebrate our differences? Dee in MI. > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Hello everyone I just wanted to give my two cents on the matter I am an African American woman and I do not feel that being called Big Mama is something negative or a put down. Is is all in the way that you use a term. tonya --- yarnmama@... wrote: > > In a message dated 6/10/00 9:14:05 AM, > CuteAKA2nv@... writes: > > << A Big Mama is a grand mother. The term big has > nothing > to do with size. It has everything to do with > elevating the status of the > grandmother and delineating her from the mother. >> > > Hey, le! I work with many > African-Americans...and they call me " Big > Mama " or " Big Girl " or even " Big Sister " at times. > It's a positive term in > my experience. I'm a large woman...but I'm also > older than many of the men > I work with. You're absolutely correct; I have > never felt maligned or put > down by being called any of those things. Isn't it > funny how we sometimes > forget to celebrate our differences? Dee in MI. > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Hi Tonya: Thanks to le, us pale faces now understand the term. LOL. I can see how someone would think that it was derrogatory though...guess we're so used to being made fun of by people for being fat that our defenses are up. Now that le has educated us that this is not a negative term in the black community we understand and we don't have to be offended by that term on someone's behalf. But in the white community that I am familiar with, if I were to call someone Big Mama, I'd better be prepared to have the stuffins' knocked outta me. Flo in land Re: Re:[MGB]fat prejudice >Hello everyone I just wanted to give my two cents on >the matter I am an African American woman and I do not >feel that being called Big Mama is something negative >or a put down. Is is all in the way that you use a >term. >tonya >--- yarnmama@... wrote: >> >> In a message dated 6/10/00 9:14:05 AM, >> CuteAKA2nv@... writes: >> >> << A Big Mama is a grand mother. The term big has >> nothing >> to do with size. It has everything to do with >> elevating the status of the >> grandmother and delineating her from the mother. >> >> >> Hey, le! I work with many >> African-Americans...and they call me " Big >> Mama " or " Big Girl " or even " Big Sister " at times. >> It's a positive term in >> my experience. I'm a large woman...but I'm also >> older than many of the men >> I work with. You're absolutely correct; I have >> never felt maligned or put >> down by being called any of those things. Isn't it >> funny how we sometimes >> forget to celebrate our differences? Dee in MI. >> > > >__________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Hi Tonya: Thanks to le, us pale faces now understand the term. LOL. I can see how someone would think that it was derrogatory though...guess we're so used to being made fun of by people for being fat that our defenses are up. Now that le has educated us that this is not a negative term in the black community we understand and we don't have to be offended by that term on someone's behalf. But in the white community that I am familiar with, if I were to call someone Big Mama, I'd better be prepared to have the stuffins' knocked outta me. Flo in land Re: Re:[MGB]fat prejudice >Hello everyone I just wanted to give my two cents on >the matter I am an African American woman and I do not >feel that being called Big Mama is something negative >or a put down. Is is all in the way that you use a >term. >tonya >--- yarnmama@... wrote: >> >> In a message dated 6/10/00 9:14:05 AM, >> CuteAKA2nv@... writes: >> >> << A Big Mama is a grand mother. The term big has >> nothing >> to do with size. It has everything to do with >> elevating the status of the >> grandmother and delineating her from the mother. >> >> >> Hey, le! I work with many >> African-Americans...and they call me " Big >> Mama " or " Big Girl " or even " Big Sister " at times. >> It's a positive term in >> my experience. I'm a large woman...but I'm also >> older than many of the men >> I work with. You're absolutely correct; I have >> never felt maligned or put >> down by being called any of those things. Isn't it >> funny how we sometimes >> forget to celebrate our differences? Dee in MI. >> > > >__________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Hi Tonya: Thanks to le, us pale faces now understand the term. LOL. I can see how someone would think that it was derrogatory though...guess we're so used to being made fun of by people for being fat that our defenses are up. Now that le has educated us that this is not a negative term in the black community we understand and we don't have to be offended by that term on someone's behalf. But in the white community that I am familiar with, if I were to call someone Big Mama, I'd better be prepared to have the stuffins' knocked outta me. Flo in land Re: Re:[MGB]fat prejudice >Hello everyone I just wanted to give my two cents on >the matter I am an African American woman and I do not >feel that being called Big Mama is something negative >or a put down. Is is all in the way that you use a >term. >tonya >--- yarnmama@... wrote: >> >> In a message dated 6/10/00 9:14:05 AM, >> CuteAKA2nv@... writes: >> >> << A Big Mama is a grand mother. The term big has >> nothing >> to do with size. It has everything to do with >> elevating the status of the >> grandmother and delineating her from the mother. >> >> >> Hey, le! I work with many >> African-Americans...and they call me " Big >> Mama " or " Big Girl " or even " Big Sister " at times. >> It's a positive term in >> my experience. I'm a large woman...but I'm also >> older than many of the men >> I work with. You're absolutely correct; I have >> never felt maligned or put >> down by being called any of those things. Isn't it >> funny how we sometimes >> forget to celebrate our differences? Dee in MI. >> > > >__________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2000 Report Share Posted June 10, 2000 Hi le how are you any friend of Trish is a friend of mine I look forward to chatting with you Tonya --- CuteAKA2nv@... wrote: > No, Trish, I haven't met Tonya yet...but can I > consider this my official > intro?...Hey Tonya... > > le > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2000 Report Share Posted June 12, 2000 << I m just trying to make it thru the day! Trisha >> Hey, sweetie! You can do it! Sometimes, prior to the MGB, it was all I could do to make it through my day without wishing like crazy that I could stop the aches and pains and/or catch a quick nap somewhere quiet. This amazing gift from Dr. R has reset my energy level to 300% what it used to be. I understand: some days, it's all we can do to keep from screaming, never mind restraining ourselves from murder most foul! Dee in MI (16 Dec 99) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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