Re: My Weekend...

May 29, 2000

Terri,

I understand completely how you felt. I was in Atlanta this past weekend

and the hotel chairs were all too small for me. My leg sides had the

imprints from the arms. I wish all the skinny people had to be overweight on

the most important day of their life and had to go through what we have all

of ours. I especially hate it when a skinny person complains about being

" FAT " . I for one think that if they had to be us for just one day they would

change how they treat us.

Guess I will quit fussing on something that will never change in this

world.

Glad your babies made it through the storm okay. You are in my thoughts

and prayers.

in SC

If you see someone without a smile:

Give them one of yours :-)

May 29, 2000

Hi Terri, you poor thing. I just hate it when people humiliates us. We are

human beings; we have feelings. People just act like we are worst than

animals. I really hate that happened because I know that it hurts. It

reminds me of when I used to go to my husbands house to visit his parents and

they would always say " are you going to get any bigger? " I didn't know those

people, they had no right to say that to me, they didn't know me. But like

you, a person would think that I would be used to it, but you never get used

to being hurt. When are people going to realize that we are people too. I

am so sick and tired of it. I just held it in and never told my husband. I

guess deep down I was thinking he felt the same way. When I have my surgery,

and lose weight, I am going to start an organization of acceptance. the

motto or mission statement will be accept people for who they are, not for

how they look. I thank God everyday for this site. I wish I had it years

ago. I have carried so much hurt and humiliation around with me it is a

wonder I am not totally insane. You hang in there and hold your head up high

and be proud that you are who you are. Here is a giant hug for you. God

bless you.

May 29, 2000

Hi Terri

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that with people who are

supposed to love you. Just remember you are not alone I'm should that all of

us had days that we wish the ground would open up and we could just fall

thru. When you are around people who don't care about others feelings just

think of us giving you hugs and singing pretty songs except for me because I

can sing at ALL but I do gave great hugs. I will we praying for you and your

grandparents in-law They need to know that they hurt you like that if not

they will just do it again and with no respect for their grandchild.

Love and Hugssssss

Joy B

May 29, 2000

---

Hi Terri,

I am truly sorry you went through that!! Those people was nothing but

totally rude! It's hard to believe that adults can be so cruel. You

can understand how children act that way because they don't know

better!!! Terri you know what I wish for people like that!!! I wish

they could be soooo big they couldn't walk for about a week!!! LOL

Well girl don't let it get you down before long you will be on the

other side and never have to be humiliated (SP?) again!! Have a good

day!!! Marie

In MiniGastricBypass (AT) e, " Theresa Somers "

wrote:

> Hello everyone..

>

> Well, as I said when I posted the list for today, I have been

away all

> weekend.. Chuck and I went to see his grandparents

grandparents> as well as his parents since they were coming down

for the

> weekend also.. Well, let's just say i could have had more fun with

someone

> throwing knives at me... We got there on saturday about 1 in the

afternoon

> or so... .. Chuck's parents wouldn't be

there til

> later that afternoon so we just sat outside and let run around

the yard

> and just the normal family stuff.. Everything was fine... Well,

Chuck went

> in the house and he was trying to take a nap being that his body

seemed to

> think he was supposed to be sleeping since he works nights and I

went to the

> other side of the house where Chuck's grandparents and a friend of

theirs

> were.. Chuck's grandmother kept offering to let me sit down since I

was

> holding .. She had one of those folding chairs with the wide

plastic

> strips for the seat.. Well, i was afraid to sit in it.. I kept

thinking I

> would break it.. Well, finally my back started hurting so bad she

offered

> once more and I took her up on it.. As I began to sit in it, I

realized the

> chair was MUCH smaller than I thought and my hips and legs would

barely

> fit.. But, when I realized it, it was too late.. I was already

sitting.. The

> arms of the chair were cutting into my legs and hurting.. Then I

couldn't

> believe what happened next.. Chuck's grandfather pointed at me,

started

> lauing and said something about the seat... I didn't hear exactly

what he

> said but i figured it out when the three of them sat there

laughing.. I

> would be lying if I said I didn't want to die at that moment.. I

actually

> thought of suicide for about a full 10 seconds.. Of course I'm not

that

> stupid.. But, if I could have disappeared, I would have... I

couldn't

> believe it.. It was the most humiliating day of my life... I could

have ran

> away like a child but, i didn't... I just sat there watching them

laugh at

> me, trying not to burts into tears.. When they stopped, I got up as

> gracefully as I could and walked to the other side of the house and

sat

> there praying Chuck's parents would get there soon... Maybe that

would take

> the focos off of me and my fat a$$... I truely just wanted to go

home.. But,

> I tried to be adult about it and stuck it out... Well, we left

about 11:30

> that night... Saturday morning I got up so I could take my shower

and get

> ready to once again go see them.. I was everything but

thrilled.. I

> just wanted to stay home.. But, I got Chuck up and we left soon

after..

> Luckily, I didn't put myself in the situation again but, I was

still

> miserable.. No sooner did we get there, i wanted to go home.. But,

I am glad

> we weren't home because there were some really strong thunderstorms

hitting

> here and we even had someone report a tornado right around the

corner from

> our home.. Luckily our trailer was safe and more importantly, so

were our

> babies ... Well, we got home about 11:30 last

night... I am

> so glad to be home.. I still can't believe they did that.. but, I

can't let

> it get to me.. I mean, I've gone through this all my life.. I

should be used

> to it, right? Well, not really.. and having people that I think my

son

> should be looking up to doing this just hurts.. I never did tell

chuck or

> his parents what happened and I didn't confront the grandparents..

I just

> wanted to forget about it... I didn't want it to be this long drawn

out

> thing... But, I did feel I needed to tell y'all.. It makes it so

much easier

> to tell someone when you know they have been there at one point or

> another... Sorry this is so long...

>

> In my thoughts and prayers,

>

> Terri

>

______________________________________________________________________

__

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June 3, 2000

Dear Terri,

I know it has been several days since you shared your experience of

being laughed at by the " GRAND " parents (not SO GRAND in my book!)... but I

just wanted to thank you for sharing that. I am new to the mgb

group--surgery's approved by insurance; just trying to get my " stuff "

together....

Anyway....I'm sitting here reading all of this e-mail and I'm just

bawling my eyes out because here are a multitude of people who know EXACTLY

how I feel!!!

I can tell you about a really embarrassing situation that happened to

me (just 1 or 2...feels like there have been a million over the last 39

years of my dieting...) (YES, I have been on a diet for 39 years! As my

mother will proudly inform you, she placed me on my first diet at age 6!!!!)

Back to the embarrassing situation(s)....I'm at the fair and I love to

go on the rides. I like that " thing-ey " that goes around in a circle and

swings you out really far. I stood in line forever, paid an arm and a leg

to ride, and then, my fat butt wouldn't fit in the seat. I got stuck and

the ride operator was yelling at me to move so he could start the ride.

Everyone was laughing and staring at me. Total humiliation!!

To make matters worse, I ran away without trying to get my money back

and went to another ride (those little fun house cars that go through the

dark tunnel on railroad tracks...) My big tail fit in that ok, but when it

was time for the car to go up a little incline, you guessed it....the car

would not go up the incline because of my weight combined with the other

person in the car with me. The ride operators (3 of them) had to push us up

the hill and they cursed at me the entire time. I thought of suicide the

whole rest of that night, believe me!!!!

Before you decide I must be the Goodyear Blimp...I weighed about 250

lbs when all of this happened to me. The world seems to be made for

everyone else but us! We are automatically judged as stupid, lazy, etc.,

etc. I've always had to work twice as hard and be twice as smart as the

average person just to get my foot in the door!!!

I feel your pain, girlfriend... Believe me, I do!!!

Carol K.

>

>Reply-To: MiniGastricBypass (AT) e

>To: MiniGastricBypass (AT) e

>Subject: My Weekend...

>Date: Mon, 29 May 2000 12:09:17 EDT

>

>Hello everyone..

>

> Well, as I said when I posted the list for today, I have been away all

>weekend.. Chuck and I went to see his grandparents

grandparents> as well as his parents since they were coming down for the

>weekend also.. Well, let's just say i could have had more fun with someone

>throwing knives at me... We got there on saturday about 1 in the afternoon

>or so... .. Chuck's parents wouldn't be there til

>later that afternoon so we just sat outside and let run around the

>yard

>and just the normal family stuff.. Everything was fine... Well, Chuck went

>in the house and he was trying to take a nap being that his body seemed to

>think he was supposed to be sleeping since he works nights and I went to

>the

>other side of the house where Chuck's grandparents and a friend of theirs

>were.. Chuck's grandmother kept offering to let me sit down since I was

>holding .. She had one of those folding chairs with the wide plastic

>strips for the seat.. Well, i was afraid to sit in it.. I kept thinking I

>would break it.. Well, finally my back started hurting so bad she offered

>once more and I took her up on it.. As I began to sit in it, I realized the

>chair was MUCH smaller than I thought and my hips and legs would barely

>fit.. But, when I realized it, it was too late.. I was already sitting..

>The

>arms of the chair were cutting into my legs and hurting.. Then I couldn't

>believe what happened next.. Chuck's grandfather pointed at me, started

>lauing and said something about the seat... I didn't hear exactly what he

>said but i figured it out when the three of them sat there laughing.. I

>would be lying if I said I didn't want to die at that moment.. I actually

>thought of suicide for about a full 10 seconds.. Of course I'm not that

>stupid.. But, if I could have disappeared, I would have... I couldn't

>believe it.. It was the most humiliating day of my life... I could have ran

>away like a child but, i didn't... I just sat there watching them laugh at

>me, trying not to burts into tears.. When they stopped, I got up as

>gracefully as I could and walked to the other side of the house and sat

>there praying Chuck's parents would get there soon... Maybe that would take

>the focos off of me and my fat a$$... I truely just wanted to go home..

>But,

>I tried to be adult about it and stuck it out... Well, we left about 11:30

>that night... Saturday morning I got up so I could take my shower and get

> ready to once again go see them.. I was everything but thrilled.. I

>just wanted to stay home.. But, I got Chuck up and we left soon after..

>Luckily, I didn't put myself in the situation again but, I was still

>miserable.. No sooner did we get there, i wanted to go home.. But, I am

>glad

>we weren't home because there were some really strong thunderstorms hitting

>here and we even had someone report a tornado right around the corner from

>our home.. Luckily our trailer was safe and more importantly, so were our

>babies ... Well, we got home about 11:30 last night... I am

>so glad to be home.. I still can't believe they did that.. but, I can't let

>it get to me.. I mean, I've gone through this all my life.. I should be

>used

>to it, right? Well, not really.. and having people that I think my son

>should be looking up to doing this just hurts.. I never did tell chuck or

>his parents what happened and I didn't confront the grandparents.. I just

>wanted to forget about it... I didn't want it to be this long drawn out

>thing... But, I did feel I needed to tell y'all.. It makes it so much

>easier

>to tell someone when you know they have been there at one point or

>another... Sorry this is so long...

>

>In my thoughts and prayers,

>

> Terri

>________________________________________________________________________

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June 3, 2000

Hi Carol..

I would NEVER think you were a blimp or anything along those lines.. We

are ALL human.. And most of the time, i think we are more human than thin

people if for no other reason than the fact that we have been through it

all.. We know how cruel people can be and the adults are MUCH worse than the

children because they are supposed to KNOW better! When i see someone who is

overweight, I feel sorry for them in a way because i know how much pain we

go through every day.. Especially if they have problems getting around,

shopping at the store, getting dressed, getting in a car, tying their shoes,

and of course when they get all the stares and whispers when they go out to

eat with friends.. I KNOW what they feel because people are doing the same

thing to me!!! It makes us feel so small but so huge at the same time.. And

fairs, carnivals, circuses, or anything that has rides can make us feel MUCH

worse.. Especially when you pass one and truely wish you could be there,

enjoying it like everyone else.. but, we aren't like everyone else! Society

doesn't want us to be like them.. They think that making us feel worse about

ourselves is going to help.. But, that does just the opposite.. I have a

similar story to yours.. if you would like to read it, the address is

http://www.mynewlife.homepage.com .. I also have a journal of everything

that has happened to me since I began this journey.. Well, almost

everything.. I don't have what happened that weekend.. Only y'all on this

list know.. I don't think that my family would appreciate me telling them in

that way and i really don't care to tell them.. It's my problem and I will

deal with it the way i have always dealt with it... That which don't kill

us, makes us stronger, right?

In my thoughts and prayers,

Terri

>Dear Terri,

>

> I know it has been several days since you shared your experience of

>being laughed at by the " GRAND " parents (not SO GRAND in my book!)... but I

>just wanted to thank you for sharing that. I am new to the mgb

>group--surgery's approved by insurance; just trying to get my " stuff "

>together....

>

> Anyway....I'm sitting here reading all of this e-mail and I'm just

>bawling my eyes out because here are a multitude of people who know EXACTLY

>how I feel!!!

>

> I can tell you about a really embarrassing situation that happened to

>me (just 1 or 2...feels like there have been a million over the last 39

>years of my dieting...) (YES, I have been on a diet for 39 years! As my

>mother will proudly inform you, she placed me on my first diet at age

>6!!!!)

>

> Back to the embarrassing situation(s)....I'm at the fair and I love

>to

>go on the rides. I like that " thing-ey " that goes around in a circle and

>swings you out really far. I stood in line forever, paid an arm and a leg

>to ride, and then, my fat butt wouldn't fit in the seat. I got stuck and

>the ride operator was yelling at me to move so he could start the ride.

>Everyone was laughing and staring at me. Total humiliation!!

>

> To make matters worse, I ran away without trying to get my money back

>and went to another ride (those little fun house cars that go through the

>dark tunnel on railroad tracks...) My big tail fit in that ok, but when it

>was time for the car to go up a little incline, you guessed it....the car

>would not go up the incline because of my weight combined with the other

>person in the car with me. The ride operators (3 of them) had to push us

>up

>the hill and they cursed at me the entire time. I thought of suicide the

>whole rest of that night, believe me!!!!

>

> Before you decide I must be the Goodyear Blimp...I weighed about 250

>lbs when all of this happened to me. The world seems to be made for

>everyone else but us! We are automatically judged as stupid, lazy, etc.,

>etc. I've always had to work twice as hard and be twice as smart as the

>average person just to get my foot in the door!!!

>

> I feel your pain, girlfriend... Believe me, I do!!!

>

>Carol K.

" But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate

you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. " - Luke

6:27-28

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June 3, 2000