Jump to content
RemedySpot.com

Re: Teenage Sibling

Rate this topic


Guest guest

Recommended Posts

In a message dated 11/6/2002 9:08:18 AM Central Standard Time,

j.larocque@... writes:

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

I wish I new the answer to this one because my middle child that does not

have CF she is 8. I know she feels cheated. And I know I am always trying to

cater to the two that have CF. I always try to tell her how much of a big

help she is to me. I think that helps her feel like she is important too. I

know I do things like when I get the girls something to drink at meal time I

always get the ones with CF a drink first because I want them to take there

enzymes before they start eating. (She has pointed this out to me) But I

explained why and she was OK with that. Now when the other two are not at the

table I will get her drink first. I think all we can do is give them that

extra reassurance that they are special too. Maybe spending someone on one

time with your son might help just the two of you going shopping or to a

movie just so he has all of your attention. Hope this helps. Deb A

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/6/2002 9:08:18 AM Central Standard Time,

j.larocque@... writes:

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

I wish I new the answer to this one because my middle child that does not

have CF she is 8. I know she feels cheated. And I know I am always trying to

cater to the two that have CF. I always try to tell her how much of a big

help she is to me. I think that helps her feel like she is important too. I

know I do things like when I get the girls something to drink at meal time I

always get the ones with CF a drink first because I want them to take there

enzymes before they start eating. (She has pointed this out to me) But I

explained why and she was OK with that. Now when the other two are not at the

table I will get her drink first. I think all we can do is give them that

extra reassurance that they are special too. Maybe spending someone on one

time with your son might help just the two of you going shopping or to a

movie just so he has all of your attention. Hope this helps. Deb A

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In a message dated 11/6/2002 9:08:18 AM Central Standard Time,

j.larocque@... writes:

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

I wish I new the answer to this one because my middle child that does not

have CF she is 8. I know she feels cheated. And I know I am always trying to

cater to the two that have CF. I always try to tell her how much of a big

help she is to me. I think that helps her feel like she is important too. I

know I do things like when I get the girls something to drink at meal time I

always get the ones with CF a drink first because I want them to take there

enzymes before they start eating. (She has pointed this out to me) But I

explained why and she was OK with that. Now when the other two are not at the

table I will get her drink first. I think all we can do is give them that

extra reassurance that they are special too. Maybe spending someone on one

time with your son might help just the two of you going shopping or to a

movie just so he has all of your attention. Hope this helps. Deb A

Link to comment
Share on other sites

J.,

I don't know that I have an answer for you to make anything better. But, we

go through the same thing with my stepson. He even got jealous when the boys

got their vest. " Why don't I get anything? " I just talked to him and

explained what it was for. He sometimes still doesn't see that there should be

a difference. But, as he has gotten older he has gotten more understanding. I

think his mind can start to grip exactly waht is happening with the cf now.

Since he is older he is seeing what an emotional roller coaster we are all on

now. I think he absorbs more. He sees that it all isn't just about him and

that there are major medical needs. He has even gotten quite protective of the

boys at school. (almost got kicked off the bus) Nobody can mess with them,

except him of course. Isn't that funny?

Maybe it is the age. Possibly it will get better the older he gets. Just

hang in there. Maybe just sit with him and talk about it. Have you tried to

ask him if he would be interested in helping you with cpt, etc....

My kids thought it was kind of cool that they were bigger and could help " be in

charge " a little. Which alsoo helped to strengthen the kids relationships with

each other also. (I think anyway)

I hope this helps a little.

Vondie

Teenage Sibling

Hi,

My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I made

time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so much

attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it is

directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually makes

him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my husband

was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being diagnosed,

she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my son

had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one that

was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head we

have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is not

getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

advice! Thank you if you do. J.

PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

-------------------------------------------

The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

IN NO WAY

be construed as medical advice.

PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS.

--------------------------------------------------

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Vondie,

Thank you! How old is your stepson?

In cfparents@y..., " Vondie " wrote:

> J.,

> I don't know that I have an answer for you to make anything

better. But, we go through the same thing with my stepson. He even

got jealous when the boys got their vest. " Why don't I get

anything? " I just talked to him and explained what it was for. He

sometimes still doesn't see that there should be a difference. But,

as he has gotten older he has gotten more understanding. I think his

mind can start to grip exactly waht is happening with the cf now.

Since he is older he is seeing what an emotional roller coaster we

are all on now. I think he absorbs more. He sees that it all isn't

just about him and that there are major medical needs. He has even

gotten quite protective of the boys at school. (almost got kicked

off the bus) Nobody can mess with them, except him of course. Isn't

that funny?

> Maybe it is the age. Possibly it will get better the older he

gets. Just hang in there. Maybe just sit with him and talk about

it. Have you tried to ask him if he would be interested in helping

you with cpt, etc....

> My kids thought it was kind of cool that they were bigger and could

help " be in charge " a little. Which alsoo helped to strengthen the

kids relationships with each other also. (I think anyway)

> I hope this helps a little.

> Vondie

> Teenage Sibling

>

>

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I

made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so

much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it

is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually

makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my

husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being

diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my

son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one

that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head

we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is

not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

>

>

> PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

>

>

> -------------------------------------------

>

>

> The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

> IN NO WAY

> be construed as medical advice.

>

> PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR

TREATMENTS.

>

> --------------------------------------------------

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

J.,

My stepson is now 15. (He would say 15 1/2)

At 15 they are going through so many emotional things anyway. I don't know if

it is the same for your son. But, sometimes my stepson acts out and if I sit

down with him I find that he doesn't think that I pay enough attention to his

problems. (which to me are very small, normal, teenage problems) So, I try to

talk to him everyday, even for a little bit, about whats going on with him.

Yes, I still get his attitude. So, don't think he is an angel, by any means.

Does your son go to clinic with you and your daughter? That might help also.

Maybe he honestly doesn't see the severity of it. Mine didn't.

Ok, get ready to give it to me. But,one time I had to get right down mean

about it. We caught the kids smoking behind the barn. Well, needless to day I

lost it. Especially when I found out they were letting (w/cf) smoke. I

sat them down and yelled it at them. " Do you not understand that your brothers

could die, their lungs cannot handle smoke. Why do you think I am trying to

keep their lungs clear? What would you have done if the smoke had thrown them

into an asthma attack? " By the time I was done they were crying, I was crying,

Dad was standing there with hi mouth open. It might not have been the

appropriate thing to do. But, it got their attention. I assumed that since

they grew up with it all, that they knew. But, they said they didn't understand

it was that serious.

I know, shut up now Vondie.

Vondie

Teenage Sibling

>

>

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I

made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so

much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it

is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually

makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my

husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being

diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my

son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one

that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head

we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is

not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

>

>

> PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

>

>

> -------------------------------------------

>

>

> The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

> IN NO WAY

> be construed as medical advice.

>

> PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR

TREATMENTS.

>

> --------------------------------------------------

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

J.,

My stepson is now 15. (He would say 15 1/2)

At 15 they are going through so many emotional things anyway. I don't know if

it is the same for your son. But, sometimes my stepson acts out and if I sit

down with him I find that he doesn't think that I pay enough attention to his

problems. (which to me are very small, normal, teenage problems) So, I try to

talk to him everyday, even for a little bit, about whats going on with him.

Yes, I still get his attitude. So, don't think he is an angel, by any means.

Does your son go to clinic with you and your daughter? That might help also.

Maybe he honestly doesn't see the severity of it. Mine didn't.

Ok, get ready to give it to me. But,one time I had to get right down mean

about it. We caught the kids smoking behind the barn. Well, needless to day I

lost it. Especially when I found out they were letting (w/cf) smoke. I

sat them down and yelled it at them. " Do you not understand that your brothers

could die, their lungs cannot handle smoke. Why do you think I am trying to

keep their lungs clear? What would you have done if the smoke had thrown them

into an asthma attack? " By the time I was done they were crying, I was crying,

Dad was standing there with hi mouth open. It might not have been the

appropriate thing to do. But, it got their attention. I assumed that since

they grew up with it all, that they knew. But, they said they didn't understand

it was that serious.

I know, shut up now Vondie.

Vondie

Teenage Sibling

>

>

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I

made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so

much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it

is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually

makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my

husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being

diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my

son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one

that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head

we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is

not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

>

>

> PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

>

>

> -------------------------------------------

>

>

> The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

> IN NO WAY

> be construed as medical advice.

>

> PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR

TREATMENTS.

>

> --------------------------------------------------

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

J.,

My stepson is now 15. (He would say 15 1/2)

At 15 they are going through so many emotional things anyway. I don't know if

it is the same for your son. But, sometimes my stepson acts out and if I sit

down with him I find that he doesn't think that I pay enough attention to his

problems. (which to me are very small, normal, teenage problems) So, I try to

talk to him everyday, even for a little bit, about whats going on with him.

Yes, I still get his attitude. So, don't think he is an angel, by any means.

Does your son go to clinic with you and your daughter? That might help also.

Maybe he honestly doesn't see the severity of it. Mine didn't.

Ok, get ready to give it to me. But,one time I had to get right down mean

about it. We caught the kids smoking behind the barn. Well, needless to day I

lost it. Especially when I found out they were letting (w/cf) smoke. I

sat them down and yelled it at them. " Do you not understand that your brothers

could die, their lungs cannot handle smoke. Why do you think I am trying to

keep their lungs clear? What would you have done if the smoke had thrown them

into an asthma attack? " By the time I was done they were crying, I was crying,

Dad was standing there with hi mouth open. It might not have been the

appropriate thing to do. But, it got their attention. I assumed that since

they grew up with it all, that they knew. But, they said they didn't understand

it was that serious.

I know, shut up now Vondie.

Vondie

Teenage Sibling

>

>

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I

made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so

much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it

is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually

makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my

husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being

diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my

son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one

that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head

we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is

not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

>

>

> PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

>

>

> -------------------------------------------

>

>

> The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

> IN NO WAY

> be construed as medical advice.

>

> PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR

TREATMENTS.

>

> --------------------------------------------------

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Vondie,

It's nice to know I'm not the only one having trouble with this

problem. I haven't taken him to clinic with us in a while and the

last few IV's home or hospital, I made a point of making sure it

didn't interfere with his plans etc. Maybe he needs a gentle

reminder and I will take him to clinic with us next time. At his age

he thinks he is invinceable so Maybe he thinks everyone is. He does

care about his sister very much. He is also very protective of her

with other people. He is the only one allowed to tease her etc.

I haven't let him do CPT because I think they would just fool around

and argue! I haven't had the smoking problem! I don't blame you for

losing it. I've lost it over less!!!! I guess some of it is my

attitude. Teenage problems don't seem to be earth shattering

compared to what my daughter goes through with CF.

Thanks, J.

> > J.,

> > I don't know that I have an answer for you to make anything

> better. But, we go through the same thing with my stepson. He

even

> got jealous when the boys got their vest. " Why don't I get

> anything? " I just talked to him and explained what it was

for. He

> sometimes still doesn't see that there should be a difference.

But,

> as he has gotten older he has gotten more understanding. I think

his

> mind can start to grip exactly waht is happening with the cf

now.

> Since he is older he is seeing what an emotional roller coaster

we

> are all on now. I think he absorbs more. He sees that it all

isn't

> just about him and that there are major medical needs. He has

even

> gotten quite protective of the boys at school. (almost got

kicked

> off the bus) Nobody can mess with them, except him of course.

Isn't

> that funny?

> > Maybe it is the age. Possibly it will get better the older

he

> gets. Just hang in there. Maybe just sit with him and talk

about

> it. Have you tried to ask him if he would be interested in

helping

> you with cpt, etc....

> > My kids thought it was kind of cool that they were bigger and

could

> help " be in charge " a little. Which alsoo helped to strengthen

the

> kids relationships with each other also. (I think anyway)

> > I hope this helps a little.

> > Vondie

> > Teenage Sibling

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> > My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I

> made

> > time for my older child and explained why his sister needed

so

> much

> > attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and

it

> is

> > directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> > psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually

> makes

> > him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> > grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my

> husband

> > was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being

> diagnosed,

> > she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same

time my

> son

> > had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the

one

> that

> > was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his

head

> we

> > have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it

is

> not

> > getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or

any

> > advice! Thank you if you do. J.

> >

> >

> > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

> >

> >

> > -------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

> > IN NO WAY

> > be construed as medical advice.

> >

> > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS

OR

> TREATMENTS.

> >

> > --------------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> >

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Vondie,

It's nice to know I'm not the only one having trouble with this

problem. I haven't taken him to clinic with us in a while and the

last few IV's home or hospital, I made a point of making sure it

didn't interfere with his plans etc. Maybe he needs a gentle

reminder and I will take him to clinic with us next time. At his age

he thinks he is invinceable so Maybe he thinks everyone is. He does

care about his sister very much. He is also very protective of her

with other people. He is the only one allowed to tease her etc.

I haven't let him do CPT because I think they would just fool around

and argue! I haven't had the smoking problem! I don't blame you for

losing it. I've lost it over less!!!! I guess some of it is my

attitude. Teenage problems don't seem to be earth shattering

compared to what my daughter goes through with CF.

Thanks, J.

> > J.,

> > I don't know that I have an answer for you to make anything

> better. But, we go through the same thing with my stepson. He

even

> got jealous when the boys got their vest. " Why don't I get

> anything? " I just talked to him and explained what it was

for. He

> sometimes still doesn't see that there should be a difference.

But,

> as he has gotten older he has gotten more understanding. I think

his

> mind can start to grip exactly waht is happening with the cf

now.

> Since he is older he is seeing what an emotional roller coaster

we

> are all on now. I think he absorbs more. He sees that it all

isn't

> just about him and that there are major medical needs. He has

even

> gotten quite protective of the boys at school. (almost got

kicked

> off the bus) Nobody can mess with them, except him of course.

Isn't

> that funny?

> > Maybe it is the age. Possibly it will get better the older

he

> gets. Just hang in there. Maybe just sit with him and talk

about

> it. Have you tried to ask him if he would be interested in

helping

> you with cpt, etc....

> > My kids thought it was kind of cool that they were bigger and

could

> help " be in charge " a little. Which alsoo helped to strengthen

the

> kids relationships with each other also. (I think anyway)

> > I hope this helps a little.

> > Vondie

> > Teenage Sibling

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> > My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I

> made

> > time for my older child and explained why his sister needed

so

> much

> > attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and

it

> is

> > directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> > psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually

> makes

> > him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> > grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my

> husband

> > was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being

> diagnosed,

> > she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same

time my

> son

> > had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the

one

> that

> > was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his

head

> we

> > have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it

is

> not

> > getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or

any

> > advice! Thank you if you do. J.

> >

> >

> > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

> >

> >

> > -------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

> > IN NO WAY

> > be construed as medical advice.

> >

> > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS

OR

> TREATMENTS.

> >

> > --------------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> >

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Vondie,

It's nice to know I'm not the only one having trouble with this

problem. I haven't taken him to clinic with us in a while and the

last few IV's home or hospital, I made a point of making sure it

didn't interfere with his plans etc. Maybe he needs a gentle

reminder and I will take him to clinic with us next time. At his age

he thinks he is invinceable so Maybe he thinks everyone is. He does

care about his sister very much. He is also very protective of her

with other people. He is the only one allowed to tease her etc.

I haven't let him do CPT because I think they would just fool around

and argue! I haven't had the smoking problem! I don't blame you for

losing it. I've lost it over less!!!! I guess some of it is my

attitude. Teenage problems don't seem to be earth shattering

compared to what my daughter goes through with CF.

Thanks, J.

> > J.,

> > I don't know that I have an answer for you to make anything

> better. But, we go through the same thing with my stepson. He

even

> got jealous when the boys got their vest. " Why don't I get

> anything? " I just talked to him and explained what it was

for. He

> sometimes still doesn't see that there should be a difference.

But,

> as he has gotten older he has gotten more understanding. I think

his

> mind can start to grip exactly waht is happening with the cf

now.

> Since he is older he is seeing what an emotional roller coaster

we

> are all on now. I think he absorbs more. He sees that it all

isn't

> just about him and that there are major medical needs. He has

even

> gotten quite protective of the boys at school. (almost got

kicked

> off the bus) Nobody can mess with them, except him of course.

Isn't

> that funny?

> > Maybe it is the age. Possibly it will get better the older

he

> gets. Just hang in there. Maybe just sit with him and talk

about

> it. Have you tried to ask him if he would be interested in

helping

> you with cpt, etc....

> > My kids thought it was kind of cool that they were bigger and

could

> help " be in charge " a little. Which alsoo helped to strengthen

the

> kids relationships with each other also. (I think anyway)

> > I hope this helps a little.

> > Vondie

> > Teenage Sibling

> >

> >

> > Hi,

> > My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I

> made

> > time for my older child and explained why his sister needed

so

> much

> > attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and

it

> is

> > directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> > psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually

> makes

> > him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> > grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my

> husband

> > was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being

> diagnosed,

> > she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same

time my

> son

> > had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the

one

> that

> > was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his

head

> we

> > have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it

is

> not

> > getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or

any

> > advice! Thank you if you do. J.

> >

> >

> > PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list.

> >

> >

> > -------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> > The opinions and information exchanged on this list should

> > IN NO WAY

> > be construed as medical advice.

> >

> > PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS

OR

> TREATMENTS.

> >

> > --------------------------------------------------

> >

> >

> >

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a tough age for all kids. Don't blame yourself. I am sure

that you are a loving mother.

Gale

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my

son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one

that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a tough age for all kids. Don't blame yourself. I am sure

that you are a loving mother.

Gale

> Hi,

> My daughter 10 has CF. My son 15 doesn't. I always thought I made

> time for my older child and explained why his sister needed so much

> attention but obviously he didn't. He has a lot of anger and it is

> directed at myself and my husband. I have taken him to see a

> psychologist etc. but that hasn't done any good. It actually makes

> him angrier. I know that at times he had to be shipped to a

> grandmothers house when my daughter was in for IV's and my husband

> was at sea. I also remember prior to my daughter being diagnosed,

> she was in the hospital for bronchiolitis and at the same time my

son

> had chicken poxs, again husband at sea so I stayed with the one

that

> was the most ill. He stayed with my mother. I guess in his head we

> have put him second best and no matter what I say to him it is not

> getting through. Just wondered if anyone has this problem or any

> advice! Thank you if you do. J.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too had seen this with my teenagers. My 16 year has CF and the 17

year old doesn't. Even though my 17(almost 18)year old does not have

Cf and absolutely spoiled rotten, she had always felt cheated. There

were many, many times that she had to stay long periods at Grandmas.

When she was little I would drive to grandma's to tuck her in and

read her a bed time story everynight. Once our hospitalization ended

up being further from home, it wasn't possible. Aboput 2 years ago

Cory went through some heavy depression. In understanding it and

dealing with it as a family, she began to undersand more. She even

wrote a story for an English class that talked about how people that

are smaller and sick feel when others make fun of them. I think

writing that story really helped her. From that time, she has began

to help me with more of Cory's stuff...Tonight she asked if she could

learn to access Cory's port. Recently, I even had a situation where

I was going to have to miss a volleyball game. She knew I was

considering cancelling the volleyball game because it could of been

her last. She came to me and said : Don't worry mom, I know you have

to take Cory to the doctor and I want you too. We will win, so you

can be there tomarrow " . As she has gotten older she has realized how

I have really tried to go to the ends of the Earth to be at many

places at one time. What caused some of this to change. Treating

her like a person. Sharing with her what is going on. She started

to ask more questions about Cory's CF and in many ways became

protective over him(Even when on a brother aspect she wanted to

strangle him). We have an unique family system. I am a single

parent and the 3 kids and I function as team. We often talk about

the strength of our team. For years I treid to protect all of them

but them are smart. They know when you are worried, scared, or just

frustrated. Soon she became a support person. Offered to do Cory's

IV's so I could get some sleep. Many people did think it was wrong

to have my oldest child as my support person but once I allowed her

this, we were able to talk about how she felt when she was younger

and her understanding of it now.......I guess my only advice is....It

gets better as they get older

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too had seen this with my teenagers. My 16 year has CF and the 17

year old doesn't. Even though my 17(almost 18)year old does not have

Cf and absolutely spoiled rotten, she had always felt cheated. There

were many, many times that she had to stay long periods at Grandmas.

When she was little I would drive to grandma's to tuck her in and

read her a bed time story everynight. Once our hospitalization ended

up being further from home, it wasn't possible. Aboput 2 years ago

Cory went through some heavy depression. In understanding it and

dealing with it as a family, she began to undersand more. She even

wrote a story for an English class that talked about how people that

are smaller and sick feel when others make fun of them. I think

writing that story really helped her. From that time, she has began

to help me with more of Cory's stuff...Tonight she asked if she could

learn to access Cory's port. Recently, I even had a situation where

I was going to have to miss a volleyball game. She knew I was

considering cancelling the volleyball game because it could of been

her last. She came to me and said : Don't worry mom, I know you have

to take Cory to the doctor and I want you too. We will win, so you

can be there tomarrow " . As she has gotten older she has realized how

I have really tried to go to the ends of the Earth to be at many

places at one time. What caused some of this to change. Treating

her like a person. Sharing with her what is going on. She started

to ask more questions about Cory's CF and in many ways became

protective over him(Even when on a brother aspect she wanted to

strangle him). We have an unique family system. I am a single

parent and the 3 kids and I function as team. We often talk about

the strength of our team. For years I treid to protect all of them

but them are smart. They know when you are worried, scared, or just

frustrated. Soon she became a support person. Offered to do Cory's

IV's so I could get some sleep. Many people did think it was wrong

to have my oldest child as my support person but once I allowed her

this, we were able to talk about how she felt when she was younger

and her understanding of it now.......I guess my only advice is....It

gets better as they get older

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too had seen this with my teenagers. My 16 year has CF and the 17

year old doesn't. Even though my 17(almost 18)year old does not have

Cf and absolutely spoiled rotten, she had always felt cheated. There

were many, many times that she had to stay long periods at Grandmas.

When she was little I would drive to grandma's to tuck her in and

read her a bed time story everynight. Once our hospitalization ended

up being further from home, it wasn't possible. Aboput 2 years ago

Cory went through some heavy depression. In understanding it and

dealing with it as a family, she began to undersand more. She even

wrote a story for an English class that talked about how people that

are smaller and sick feel when others make fun of them. I think

writing that story really helped her. From that time, she has began

to help me with more of Cory's stuff...Tonight she asked if she could

learn to access Cory's port. Recently, I even had a situation where

I was going to have to miss a volleyball game. She knew I was

considering cancelling the volleyball game because it could of been

her last. She came to me and said : Don't worry mom, I know you have

to take Cory to the doctor and I want you too. We will win, so you

can be there tomarrow " . As she has gotten older she has realized how

I have really tried to go to the ends of the Earth to be at many

places at one time. What caused some of this to change. Treating

her like a person. Sharing with her what is going on. She started

to ask more questions about Cory's CF and in many ways became

protective over him(Even when on a brother aspect she wanted to

strangle him). We have an unique family system. I am a single

parent and the 3 kids and I function as team. We often talk about

the strength of our team. For years I treid to protect all of them

but them are smart. They know when you are worried, scared, or just

frustrated. Soon she became a support person. Offered to do Cory's

IV's so I could get some sleep. Many people did think it was wrong

to have my oldest child as my support person but once I allowed her

this, we were able to talk about how she felt when she was younger

and her understanding of it now.......I guess my only advice is....It

gets better as they get older

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too had seen this with my teenagers. My 16 year has CF and the 17

year old doesn't. Even though my 17(almost 18)year old does not have

Cf and absolutely spoiled rotten, she had always felt cheated. There

were many, many times that she had to stay long periods at Grandmas.

When she was little I would drive to grandma's to tuck her in and

read her a bed time story everynight. Once our hospitalization ended

up being further from home, it wasn't possible. Aboput 2 years ago

Cory went through some heavy depression. In understanding it and

dealing with it as a family, she began to undersand more. She even

wrote a story for an English class that talked about how people that

are smaller and sick feel when others make fun of them. I think

writing that story really helped her. From that time, she has began

to help me with more of Cory's stuff...Tonight she asked if she could

learn to access Cory's port. Recently, I even had a situation where

I was going to have to miss a volleyball game. She knew I was

considering cancelling the volleyball game because it could of been

her last. She came to me and said : Don't worry mom, I know you have

to take Cory to the doctor and I want you too. We will win, so you

can be there tomarrow " . As she has gotten older she has realized how

I have really tried to go to the ends of the Earth to be at many

places at one time. What caused some of this to change. Treating

her like a person. Sharing with her what is going on. She started

to ask more questions about Cory's CF and in many ways became

protective over him(Even when on a brother aspect she wanted to

strangle him). We have an unique family system. I am a single

parent and the 3 kids and I function as team. We often talk about

the strength of our team. For years I treid to protect all of them

but them are smart. They know when you are worried, scared, or just

frustrated. Soon she became a support person. Offered to do Cory's

IV's so I could get some sleep. Many people did think it was wrong

to have my oldest child as my support person but once I allowed her

this, we were able to talk about how she felt when she was younger

and her understanding of it now.......I guess my only advice is....It

gets better as they get older

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too had seen this with my teenagers. My 16 year has CF and the 17

year old doesn't. Even though my 17(almost 18)year old does not have

Cf and absolutely spoiled rotten, she had always felt cheated. There

were many, many times that she had to stay long periods at Grandmas.

When she was little I would drive to grandma's to tuck her in and

read her a bed time story everynight. Once our hospitalization ended

up being further from home, it wasn't possible. Aboput 2 years ago

Cory went through some heavy depression. In understanding it and

dealing with it as a family, she began to undersand more. She even

wrote a story for an English class that talked about how people that

are smaller and sick feel when others make fun of them. I think

writing that story really helped her. From that time, she has began

to help me with more of Cory's stuff...Tonight she asked if she could

learn to access Cory's port. Recently, I even had a situation where

I was going to have to miss a volleyball game. She knew I was

considering cancelling the volleyball game because it could of been

her last. She came to me and said : Don't worry mom, I know you have

to take Cory to the doctor and I want you too. We will win, so you

can be there tomarrow " . As she has gotten older she has realized how

I have really tried to go to the ends of the Earth to be at many

places at one time. What caused some of this to change. Treating

her like a person. Sharing with her what is going on. She started

to ask more questions about Cory's CF and in many ways became

protective over him(Even when on a brother aspect she wanted to

strangle him). We have an unique family system. I am a single

parent and the 3 kids and I function as team. We often talk about

the strength of our team. For years I treid to protect all of them

but them are smart. They know when you are worried, scared, or just

frustrated. Soon she became a support person. Offered to do Cory's

IV's so I could get some sleep. Many people did think it was wrong

to have my oldest child as my support person but once I allowed her

this, we were able to talk about how she felt when she was younger

and her understanding of it now.......I guess my only advice is....It

gets better as they get older

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...