Guest guest Posted October 26, 2002 Report Share Posted October 26, 2002 Yes, you are absolutely out of your mind. Thank God. No, I wouldn't pick this life for me. But I would choose to have in it, with whatever makes him who he is, and, cf is one of those factors. If Shaelin is already in your life, and he is a great little boy, then it is too late to ask if you are crazy. You are, and fate has already worked its magic. Climb on board and take the adventure with us. I am so grateful to people like you. Lenora in Colorado Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them. Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them. Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from him. Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it. -Pamela Glenconner >I have posted only a few times over the past year but have read every >post of yours and cannot say enough about how much this site has >helped me. >My husband and I are in the process of trying to adopt a 20 month old >boy wcf who we have had as a foster child for the past year. When he >is healthy this seems like a reasonable thing to do. When he is >sick, I feel like I must be losing my mind. All of you have had cf >thrown at you and have had no choice. I feel like I am asking to >have a life of stress but he is such a great little boy, I cannot >imagine life without him! >I am in my mid 40's and have been a nurse for more than 20 years. I >currently work as a nurse practitioner but started my career working >at Children's Hospital in Boston for 8 years, though not with >children with cf. My husband and I were married later in life and >have been unable to have children. >Although it is unreasonable to ask you if you would choose the lives >you have, am I really out of my mind? >Thanks in advance for your opnions. >Jeanne (foster mom to Shaelin, 20 mos wcf) > > > >PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > >------------------------------------------- > > >The opinions and information exchanged on this list should >IN NO WAY >be construed as medical advice. > >PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. > >-------------------------------------------------- > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 26, 2002 Report Share Posted October 26, 2002 Yes, you are absolutely out of your mind. Thank God. No, I wouldn't pick this life for me. But I would choose to have in it, with whatever makes him who he is, and, cf is one of those factors. If Shaelin is already in your life, and he is a great little boy, then it is too late to ask if you are crazy. You are, and fate has already worked its magic. Climb on board and take the adventure with us. I am so grateful to people like you. Lenora in Colorado Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them. Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them. Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from him. Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it. -Pamela Glenconner >I have posted only a few times over the past year but have read every >post of yours and cannot say enough about how much this site has >helped me. >My husband and I are in the process of trying to adopt a 20 month old >boy wcf who we have had as a foster child for the past year. When he >is healthy this seems like a reasonable thing to do. When he is >sick, I feel like I must be losing my mind. All of you have had cf >thrown at you and have had no choice. I feel like I am asking to >have a life of stress but he is such a great little boy, I cannot >imagine life without him! >I am in my mid 40's and have been a nurse for more than 20 years. I >currently work as a nurse practitioner but started my career working >at Children's Hospital in Boston for 8 years, though not with >children with cf. My husband and I were married later in life and >have been unable to have children. >Although it is unreasonable to ask you if you would choose the lives >you have, am I really out of my mind? >Thanks in advance for your opnions. >Jeanne (foster mom to Shaelin, 20 mos wcf) > > > >PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > >------------------------------------------- > > >The opinions and information exchanged on this list should >IN NO WAY >be construed as medical advice. > >PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. > >-------------------------------------------------- > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2002 Report Share Posted October 27, 2002 Jeanne, Personally, I don't think so. Though, as adoptive parents also, somtimes I have to wonder if we were nuts.... In our case, we adopted two kids that were originally supposed to be 6 week placements....we thought we could do anything for 6 weeks... Anyway, 6 weeks became 2 yrs, then they were returned to a drug addicted mom and had a yr of hell. Then we got them back...after they bounced from emerg. shelters to foster homes they came back to us. Everything we had worked on fixing was gone. They both had severe behavior problems and we had pretty much helped them to solve all of that. They came back with much much worse problems (reactive attachment disorder), and the oldest has some really bad behavioural problems. If you email me privately, I could discuss it more but shouldn't online. There are times when we are dealing with extreme (I really do mean extreme) lying, stealing, fits that we both wonder what we have done to the rest of the family. Yet, we love them as our own, if that makes any sense. And more than that we honestly felt that we might be there only chance...there was certainly no one waiting in line to adopt them with their issues. One of them does have a lifelong medical problem (not cf) that only exacerbates the behaviors, because she can manipulate it as a behaviour thing. Still, for them I believe we did the right thing....for us, I am not always so sure. We cannot leave them with anyone, and the oldest is constantly getting kicked out of school. made the mistake of leaving them with family this weekend and I feel terrible the way she treated my mom. she is stillscreaming a fit right now, in fact and has refused to eat dinner (which is a huge issue due to her JD) I will also be honest....having three kids with CF of my own, I know in my heart that it would actually be easier to have adopted two more kids with CF as young kids (young enough that you don't have RAD as an issue) and without the behavioural component. I thought CF had an impact on the family and the rest of the kids until we encountered RAD. (and my kids with CF are high maint. CF....esp. Mallory, the 5 yo who also has lots of other probs, asthma, osa, etc and is on ivs every 3 months regimen, has a port, etc... usually gets ivs about every 5 months or so, so its not like I am comparing to kids who just need enzymes or anything) MY sister is in process of adopting a little girl (cousins baby) with CF, actually. So this was a long way of saying, no, I don't think you are crazy...afterall, we never even planned to adopt and then we did, feeling it was the right thing to do. And, the child already lives with you, likely already considers you mom and dad (as our two adopted kiddos did...) and so it makes sense. If I was going to plan to adopt (which we prob. wouldn't because we have 5 biological kids), I think I would prefer to adopt a child with CF or anything medically fragile (CP, etc....even HIV) to one with RAD at this point. Hope this makes sense....have to leave out alot of detail so if you want more info, feel free to email me independently. Take care, Jen Mommy of 7, 3 with CF, two adopted, one with JD > >Although it is unreasonable to ask you if you would choose the lives > >you have, am I really out of my mind? > >Thanks in advance for your opnions. > >Jeanne (foster mom to Shaelin, 20 mos wcf) > > > > > > > >PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > >------------------------------------------- > > > > > >The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > >IN NO WAY > >be construed as medical advice. > > > >PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. > > > >-------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2002 Report Share Posted October 27, 2002 Jeanne, Personally, I don't think so. Though, as adoptive parents also, somtimes I have to wonder if we were nuts.... In our case, we adopted two kids that were originally supposed to be 6 week placements....we thought we could do anything for 6 weeks... Anyway, 6 weeks became 2 yrs, then they were returned to a drug addicted mom and had a yr of hell. Then we got them back...after they bounced from emerg. shelters to foster homes they came back to us. Everything we had worked on fixing was gone. They both had severe behavior problems and we had pretty much helped them to solve all of that. They came back with much much worse problems (reactive attachment disorder), and the oldest has some really bad behavioural problems. If you email me privately, I could discuss it more but shouldn't online. There are times when we are dealing with extreme (I really do mean extreme) lying, stealing, fits that we both wonder what we have done to the rest of the family. Yet, we love them as our own, if that makes any sense. And more than that we honestly felt that we might be there only chance...there was certainly no one waiting in line to adopt them with their issues. One of them does have a lifelong medical problem (not cf) that only exacerbates the behaviors, because she can manipulate it as a behaviour thing. Still, for them I believe we did the right thing....for us, I am not always so sure. We cannot leave them with anyone, and the oldest is constantly getting kicked out of school. made the mistake of leaving them with family this weekend and I feel terrible the way she treated my mom. she is stillscreaming a fit right now, in fact and has refused to eat dinner (which is a huge issue due to her JD) I will also be honest....having three kids with CF of my own, I know in my heart that it would actually be easier to have adopted two more kids with CF as young kids (young enough that you don't have RAD as an issue) and without the behavioural component. I thought CF had an impact on the family and the rest of the kids until we encountered RAD. (and my kids with CF are high maint. CF....esp. Mallory, the 5 yo who also has lots of other probs, asthma, osa, etc and is on ivs every 3 months regimen, has a port, etc... usually gets ivs about every 5 months or so, so its not like I am comparing to kids who just need enzymes or anything) MY sister is in process of adopting a little girl (cousins baby) with CF, actually. So this was a long way of saying, no, I don't think you are crazy...afterall, we never even planned to adopt and then we did, feeling it was the right thing to do. And, the child already lives with you, likely already considers you mom and dad (as our two adopted kiddos did...) and so it makes sense. If I was going to plan to adopt (which we prob. wouldn't because we have 5 biological kids), I think I would prefer to adopt a child with CF or anything medically fragile (CP, etc....even HIV) to one with RAD at this point. Hope this makes sense....have to leave out alot of detail so if you want more info, feel free to email me independently. Take care, Jen Mommy of 7, 3 with CF, two adopted, one with JD > >Although it is unreasonable to ask you if you would choose the lives > >you have, am I really out of my mind? > >Thanks in advance for your opnions. > >Jeanne (foster mom to Shaelin, 20 mos wcf) > > > > > > > >PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > >------------------------------------------- > > > > > >The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > >IN NO WAY > >be construed as medical advice. > > > >PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. > > > >-------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2002 Report Share Posted October 27, 2002 Jeanne, Personally, I don't think so. Though, as adoptive parents also, somtimes I have to wonder if we were nuts.... In our case, we adopted two kids that were originally supposed to be 6 week placements....we thought we could do anything for 6 weeks... Anyway, 6 weeks became 2 yrs, then they were returned to a drug addicted mom and had a yr of hell. Then we got them back...after they bounced from emerg. shelters to foster homes they came back to us. Everything we had worked on fixing was gone. They both had severe behavior problems and we had pretty much helped them to solve all of that. They came back with much much worse problems (reactive attachment disorder), and the oldest has some really bad behavioural problems. If you email me privately, I could discuss it more but shouldn't online. There are times when we are dealing with extreme (I really do mean extreme) lying, stealing, fits that we both wonder what we have done to the rest of the family. Yet, we love them as our own, if that makes any sense. And more than that we honestly felt that we might be there only chance...there was certainly no one waiting in line to adopt them with their issues. One of them does have a lifelong medical problem (not cf) that only exacerbates the behaviors, because she can manipulate it as a behaviour thing. Still, for them I believe we did the right thing....for us, I am not always so sure. We cannot leave them with anyone, and the oldest is constantly getting kicked out of school. made the mistake of leaving them with family this weekend and I feel terrible the way she treated my mom. she is stillscreaming a fit right now, in fact and has refused to eat dinner (which is a huge issue due to her JD) I will also be honest....having three kids with CF of my own, I know in my heart that it would actually be easier to have adopted two more kids with CF as young kids (young enough that you don't have RAD as an issue) and without the behavioural component. I thought CF had an impact on the family and the rest of the kids until we encountered RAD. (and my kids with CF are high maint. CF....esp. Mallory, the 5 yo who also has lots of other probs, asthma, osa, etc and is on ivs every 3 months regimen, has a port, etc... usually gets ivs about every 5 months or so, so its not like I am comparing to kids who just need enzymes or anything) MY sister is in process of adopting a little girl (cousins baby) with CF, actually. So this was a long way of saying, no, I don't think you are crazy...afterall, we never even planned to adopt and then we did, feeling it was the right thing to do. And, the child already lives with you, likely already considers you mom and dad (as our two adopted kiddos did...) and so it makes sense. If I was going to plan to adopt (which we prob. wouldn't because we have 5 biological kids), I think I would prefer to adopt a child with CF or anything medically fragile (CP, etc....even HIV) to one with RAD at this point. Hope this makes sense....have to leave out alot of detail so if you want more info, feel free to email me independently. Take care, Jen Mommy of 7, 3 with CF, two adopted, one with JD > >Although it is unreasonable to ask you if you would choose the lives > >you have, am I really out of my mind? > >Thanks in advance for your opnions. > >Jeanne (foster mom to Shaelin, 20 mos wcf) > > > > > > > >PLEASE do not post religious emails to the list. > > > > > >------------------------------------------- > > > > > >The opinions and information exchanged on this list should > >IN NO WAY > >be construed as medical advice. > > > >PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS. > > > >-------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2002 Report Share Posted October 28, 2002 > In a message dated 10/27/2002 10:03:43 PM Central Standard Time, > ron88jen@a... writes: > > > > > > Jeanne, > > Personally, I don't think so. Though, as adoptive parents also, > > somtimes I have to wonder if we were nuts.... > > In our case, we adopted two kids that were originally supposed to be 6 > > week placements....we thought we could do anything for 6 weeks... > > Anyway, 6 weeks became 2 yrs, then they were returned to a drug > > addicted mom and had a yr of hell. Then we got them back...after they > > bounced from emerg. shelters to foster homes they came back to us. > > Everything we had worked on fixing was gone. They both had severe > > behavior problems and we had pretty much helped them to solve all of > > that. They came back with much much worse problems (reactive > > attachment disorder), and the oldest has some really bad behavioural > > problems. If you email me privately, I could discuss it more but > > shouldn't online. > > There are times when we are dealing with extreme (I really do mean > > extreme) lying, stealing, fits that we both wonder what we have done > > to the rest of the family. Yet, we love them as our own, if that > > makes any sense. And more than that we honestly felt that we might be > > there only chance...there was certainly no one waiting in line to > > adopt them with their issues. One of them does have a lifelong > > medical problem (not cf) that only exacerbates the behaviors, because > > she can manipulate it as a behaviour thing. Still, for them I believe > > we did the right thing....for us, I am not always so sure. We cannot > > leave them with anyone, and the oldest is constantly getting kicked > > out of school. made the mistake of leaving them with family this > > weekend and I feel terrible the way she treated my mom. she is > > stillscreaming a fit right now, in fact and has refused to eat dinner > > (which is a huge issue due to her JD) > > I will also be honest....having three kids with CF of my own, I know > > in my heart that it would actually be easier to have adopted two more > > kids with CF as young kids (young enough that you don't have RAD as an > > issue) and without the behavioural component. I thought CF had an > > impact on the family and the rest of the kids until we encountered > > RAD. (and my kids with CF are high maint. CF....esp. Mallory, the 5 > > yo who also has lots of other probs, asthma, osa, etc and is on ivs > > every 3 months regimen, has a port, etc... usually gets ivs > > about every 5 months or so, so its not like I am comparing to kids who > > just need enzymes or anything) > > MY sister is in process of adopting a little girl (cousins baby) with > > CF, actually. > > So this was a long way of saying, no, I don't think you are > > crazy...afterall, we never even planned to adopt and then we did, > > feeling it was the right thing to do. And, the child already lives > > with you, likely already considers you mom and dad (as our two adopted > > kiddos did...) and so it makes sense. If I was going to plan to adopt > > (which we prob. wouldn't because we have 5 biological kids), I think I > > would prefer to adopt a child with CF or anything medically fragile > > (CP, etc....even HIV) to one with RAD at this point. > > Hope this makes sense....have to leave out alot of detail so if you > > want more info, feel free to email me independently. > > Take care, > > Jen > > Mommy of 7, 3 with CF, two adopted, one with JD > > > > WOW!! Jen how do you do it? Do you work? I think I would be out of my mind > with that kind of a load. You must be a Saint. Deb A > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.