Re: Making Someone Else Get Care / Lanie ...

December 23, 2002

In a message dated 12/18/2002 11:06:19 AM US Eastern Standard Time,

queenlanie@... writes:

> >>>. My Mom has CP ... vomiting ..cannot keep anything down...She is ..

> pretending nothing is wrong... I just don't know what to do? Lanie <<<

Lanie,

Unless your mother is incapacitated by physical handicap or dementia, there

is nothing you can do. Find a good 12 step group for codependency anonymous.

I am serious. Living with someone with a chronic illness is one of the major

issues that bring up coda relationships problems. You cannot make her do

anything. For whatever reason, she is in denial, and she has to hit bottom

and realizes she has a serious medical condition. Then she will do what she

has to do to get care.

Pancreatitis requires a complete lifestyle change, even if you were healthy

to start with. Getting to the first doctor's appointment is only one of the

incredible many things that must be done. She is the only one that can be

responsible for her health care. When she is ready, your job can be to

support her, but not do it.

Pancreatitis is a catastrophic, progressive, debilitating, and disabling

disease. It can be and frequently is fatal. I understand the pain of watching

someone you love spiral down and there is nothing you can do. You need to

keep taking care of yourself, your family if you have one. Check on her, give

her phone numbers of doctors in her area.

Does she have computer access? Does she do email? If this isn't a basis for a

support system, we can help connect her to telephone support. But, when she

is ready. If she wants some literature to read, let me know.

And, pray for her willingness to face this disease. Give her space, time.

There are no magic answers. The most important thing is for you to know that

you are not responsible for her health care. If you are legally responsible

for her care, that is another question. It doesn't sound like that is the

case.

Good luck.

Karyn E. , RN

Founder / Executive Director

Pancreatitis Association International

Corp. Office: Indps, IN, USA 1-

December 24, 2002

I have chronic pancreatitis. You all know what I am going through. And also I

am trying to take care of my husband who has chronic regional pain called

RSD. Somedays I sure wish I had someone to take care of me.Having cp has

ruined my life. I live in a little town in Indiana .The doctors here have no

clue about cp. I have been to specialists in Cincinnati and Indianapolis.

They in turn tell me that nothing can be done and then they turn me back over

to the doctors who have no clue on how to treat me nor do they realize the

severe pain that I am in. I sometimes feel that they are just letting me die

or hoping that I will. My family really hasn't a clue on the severity of this

dreaded disease. I pray each time that the pain will go away and not return.

I need someone to talk to. If anyone wants to talk to me please write to me.

Thanks

December 24, 2002