Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Beginning with " the mutant nose of Spain " post, a thread has developed around stigma, feeling " mutant " , deformed, ashamed, polluted, etc. There is a lot of good literature on this in the social sciences. It shows up again and again in cultural anthropology. Sontag wrote a book called " Illness as Metaphor " , Erving Goffman wrote a book called " Stigma " , and there are many others that examine how stigma works in various social settings. Understanding a complicated problem is a good first step towards developing unique and possibly brilliant coping strategies, or examining already existing dysfunctional coping strategies. Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > >face in depth. > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > recently > at a screening of a children's video i was in > and this man > is about two and a half or three feet tall > of course > everyone stares at him > treats him like a circus freak > and yet > he was one of the kindest > most magnanimous > funniest > and most interesting humans i'd met > in a long > long > time ... > > i bet he has a hard time > being seen as a sexual object > by the women he sees around him > day to day ... > > and yet he keeps on > trying. > > > -- > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group (http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the subject when replying to a digest ! > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > To leave the list send an email to rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Beginning with " the mutant nose of Spain " post, a thread has developed around stigma, feeling " mutant " , deformed, ashamed, polluted, etc. There is a lot of good literature on this in the social sciences. It shows up again and again in cultural anthropology. Sontag wrote a book called " Illness as Metaphor " , Erving Goffman wrote a book called " Stigma " , and there are many others that examine how stigma works in various social settings. Understanding a complicated problem is a good first step towards developing unique and possibly brilliant coping strategies, or examining already existing dysfunctional coping strategies. Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > >face in depth. > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > recently > at a screening of a children's video i was in > and this man > is about two and a half or three feet tall > of course > everyone stares at him > treats him like a circus freak > and yet > he was one of the kindest > most magnanimous > funniest > and most interesting humans i'd met > in a long > long > time ... > > i bet he has a hard time > being seen as a sexual object > by the women he sees around him > day to day ... > > and yet he keeps on > trying. > > > -- > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group (http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the subject when replying to a digest ! > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > To leave the list send an email to rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Beginning with " the mutant nose of Spain " post, a thread has developed around stigma, feeling " mutant " , deformed, ashamed, polluted, etc. There is a lot of good literature on this in the social sciences. It shows up again and again in cultural anthropology. Sontag wrote a book called " Illness as Metaphor " , Erving Goffman wrote a book called " Stigma " , and there are many others that examine how stigma works in various social settings. Understanding a complicated problem is a good first step towards developing unique and possibly brilliant coping strategies, or examining already existing dysfunctional coping strategies. Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > >face in depth. > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > recently > at a screening of a children's video i was in > and this man > is about two and a half or three feet tall > of course > everyone stares at him > treats him like a circus freak > and yet > he was one of the kindest > most magnanimous > funniest > and most interesting humans i'd met > in a long > long > time ... > > i bet he has a hard time > being seen as a sexual object > by the women he sees around him > day to day ... > > and yet he keeps on > trying. > > > -- > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group (http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the subject when replying to a digest ! > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > To leave the list send an email to rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Hi all Just to add a bit to this stigmatization re: rosacea. I went on a (wait for it!) " Problem Solving Course " a few days ago. My aim was to get help with a strategy for coping with " unsolvable " problems eg: such as my terrible flushing problem and also my inability to have a baby no matter how much I try. Both problems are similar in that you spend a complete fortune seeing hundreds of doctors and trying hundreds of treatments and at the end of the day Result = 0 Bank Balance = - thousands of ££££££££££££££s (oh! & very in the RED!!!) So, I wasn't looking for a cure (for once!) but just a coping strategy. When the tutor went around the room asking for who we are and what we hoped to gain from the course, I stated my requirement of getting a strategy to cope with unsolvable medical problems (daren't mention " R " or " Infertility " - as both have quite a nasty stigma attached) and she led me to believe that " hey, yes we can help you get one of those " . Anyway, bla, bla, bla, hours later, handouts, great attitude statements, positive motivation, etc., etc, we hit the subject, as they called it " Problem Sensing/Awareness " . During this subject we were taught about identifying people with problems by the physical symptoms they may exhibit - yes - guess what - people exhibiting " facial discolouration " have problems - BEWARE!!!! I asked for clarification on this (as I hid a neck flush behind my big polo neck) and she said that people with problems often blush! go red! break out in hives! and that it was a way that we could identify people who have problems by looking at what they were displaying physically. I wanted to say - hey, people with rosacea have red faces, suffer from blushing and flushing and THAT is their problem. It is not an indication of another " mystery " problem. The Red IS the problem. But... alas I didn't have the energy or the courage (feeling really worn out recently!). But... what I'm trying to say here is that if the " Self Development " organisations are educating people these identification techniques then aren't we doomed or labelled as " that person must have a bad problem " " look at the rash on her/his neck " " see the way he's blushed " " I don't think we want a person with a problem working in our organisation " " must be lacking in confidence - wonder why? " Etc., etc. Isn't it kind of like - DISCRIMINATION to label red faces as " problem people " - just because of the colour of our skin? Needless to say, I felt really down on Saturday night (maybe I'm overreacting and just tired). I PRESCRIBED MY OWN TREATMENT: (which worked and involved NO DOCTORS) (1) Tyson v match (2) A few World Cup Football matches and... to finish - the Canadian Grand Prix. > >To: aaa@...>, rosacea-support >, >staceyiseman@...> >Subject: Re: Stigmatization & cea >Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 00:24:40 -0700 > >Beginning with " the mutant nose of Spain " post, a thread has developed >around stigma, feeling " mutant " , deformed, ashamed, polluted, etc. There is >a lot of good literature on this in the social sciences. It shows up again >and again in cultural anthropology. Sontag wrote a book called > " Illness as Metaphor " , Erving Goffman wrote a book called " Stigma " , and >there are many others that examine how stigma works in various social >settings. Understanding a complicated problem is a good first step towards >developing unique and possibly brilliant coping strategies, or examining >already existing dysfunctional coping strategies. > > > > Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > > > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > > >face in depth. > > > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > > recently > > at a screening of a children's video i was in > > and this man > > is about two and a half or three feet tall > > of course > > everyone stares at him > > treats him like a circus freak > > and yet > > he was one of the kindest > > most magnanimous > > funniest > > and most interesting humans i'd met > > in a long > > long > > time ... > > > > i bet he has a hard time > > being seen as a sexual object > > by the women he sees around him > > day to day ... > > > > and yet he keeps on > > trying. > > > > > > -- > > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group >(http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't >give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the >subject when replying to a digest ! > > > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > > > To leave the list send an email to >rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Hi all Just to add a bit to this stigmatization re: rosacea. I went on a (wait for it!) " Problem Solving Course " a few days ago. My aim was to get help with a strategy for coping with " unsolvable " problems eg: such as my terrible flushing problem and also my inability to have a baby no matter how much I try. Both problems are similar in that you spend a complete fortune seeing hundreds of doctors and trying hundreds of treatments and at the end of the day Result = 0 Bank Balance = - thousands of ££££££££££££££s (oh! & very in the RED!!!) So, I wasn't looking for a cure (for once!) but just a coping strategy. When the tutor went around the room asking for who we are and what we hoped to gain from the course, I stated my requirement of getting a strategy to cope with unsolvable medical problems (daren't mention " R " or " Infertility " - as both have quite a nasty stigma attached) and she led me to believe that " hey, yes we can help you get one of those " . Anyway, bla, bla, bla, hours later, handouts, great attitude statements, positive motivation, etc., etc, we hit the subject, as they called it " Problem Sensing/Awareness " . During this subject we were taught about identifying people with problems by the physical symptoms they may exhibit - yes - guess what - people exhibiting " facial discolouration " have problems - BEWARE!!!! I asked for clarification on this (as I hid a neck flush behind my big polo neck) and she said that people with problems often blush! go red! break out in hives! and that it was a way that we could identify people who have problems by looking at what they were displaying physically. I wanted to say - hey, people with rosacea have red faces, suffer from blushing and flushing and THAT is their problem. It is not an indication of another " mystery " problem. The Red IS the problem. But... alas I didn't have the energy or the courage (feeling really worn out recently!). But... what I'm trying to say here is that if the " Self Development " organisations are educating people these identification techniques then aren't we doomed or labelled as " that person must have a bad problem " " look at the rash on her/his neck " " see the way he's blushed " " I don't think we want a person with a problem working in our organisation " " must be lacking in confidence - wonder why? " Etc., etc. Isn't it kind of like - DISCRIMINATION to label red faces as " problem people " - just because of the colour of our skin? Needless to say, I felt really down on Saturday night (maybe I'm overreacting and just tired). I PRESCRIBED MY OWN TREATMENT: (which worked and involved NO DOCTORS) (1) Tyson v match (2) A few World Cup Football matches and... to finish - the Canadian Grand Prix. > >To: aaa@...>, rosacea-support >, >staceyiseman@...> >Subject: Re: Stigmatization & cea >Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 00:24:40 -0700 > >Beginning with " the mutant nose of Spain " post, a thread has developed >around stigma, feeling " mutant " , deformed, ashamed, polluted, etc. There is >a lot of good literature on this in the social sciences. It shows up again >and again in cultural anthropology. Sontag wrote a book called > " Illness as Metaphor " , Erving Goffman wrote a book called " Stigma " , and >there are many others that examine how stigma works in various social >settings. Understanding a complicated problem is a good first step towards >developing unique and possibly brilliant coping strategies, or examining >already existing dysfunctional coping strategies. > > > > Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > > > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > > >face in depth. > > > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > > recently > > at a screening of a children's video i was in > > and this man > > is about two and a half or three feet tall > > of course > > everyone stares at him > > treats him like a circus freak > > and yet > > he was one of the kindest > > most magnanimous > > funniest > > and most interesting humans i'd met > > in a long > > long > > time ... > > > > i bet he has a hard time > > being seen as a sexual object > > by the women he sees around him > > day to day ... > > > > and yet he keeps on > > trying. > > > > > > -- > > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group >(http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't >give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the >subject when replying to a digest ! > > > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > > > To leave the list send an email to >rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Hi all Just to add a bit to this stigmatization re: rosacea. I went on a (wait for it!) " Problem Solving Course " a few days ago. My aim was to get help with a strategy for coping with " unsolvable " problems eg: such as my terrible flushing problem and also my inability to have a baby no matter how much I try. Both problems are similar in that you spend a complete fortune seeing hundreds of doctors and trying hundreds of treatments and at the end of the day Result = 0 Bank Balance = - thousands of ££££££££££££££s (oh! & very in the RED!!!) So, I wasn't looking for a cure (for once!) but just a coping strategy. When the tutor went around the room asking for who we are and what we hoped to gain from the course, I stated my requirement of getting a strategy to cope with unsolvable medical problems (daren't mention " R " or " Infertility " - as both have quite a nasty stigma attached) and she led me to believe that " hey, yes we can help you get one of those " . Anyway, bla, bla, bla, hours later, handouts, great attitude statements, positive motivation, etc., etc, we hit the subject, as they called it " Problem Sensing/Awareness " . During this subject we were taught about identifying people with problems by the physical symptoms they may exhibit - yes - guess what - people exhibiting " facial discolouration " have problems - BEWARE!!!! I asked for clarification on this (as I hid a neck flush behind my big polo neck) and she said that people with problems often blush! go red! break out in hives! and that it was a way that we could identify people who have problems by looking at what they were displaying physically. I wanted to say - hey, people with rosacea have red faces, suffer from blushing and flushing and THAT is their problem. It is not an indication of another " mystery " problem. The Red IS the problem. But... alas I didn't have the energy or the courage (feeling really worn out recently!). But... what I'm trying to say here is that if the " Self Development " organisations are educating people these identification techniques then aren't we doomed or labelled as " that person must have a bad problem " " look at the rash on her/his neck " " see the way he's blushed " " I don't think we want a person with a problem working in our organisation " " must be lacking in confidence - wonder why? " Etc., etc. Isn't it kind of like - DISCRIMINATION to label red faces as " problem people " - just because of the colour of our skin? Needless to say, I felt really down on Saturday night (maybe I'm overreacting and just tired). I PRESCRIBED MY OWN TREATMENT: (which worked and involved NO DOCTORS) (1) Tyson v match (2) A few World Cup Football matches and... to finish - the Canadian Grand Prix. > >To: aaa@...>, rosacea-support >, >staceyiseman@...> >Subject: Re: Stigmatization & cea >Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 00:24:40 -0700 > >Beginning with " the mutant nose of Spain " post, a thread has developed >around stigma, feeling " mutant " , deformed, ashamed, polluted, etc. There is >a lot of good literature on this in the social sciences. It shows up again >and again in cultural anthropology. Sontag wrote a book called > " Illness as Metaphor " , Erving Goffman wrote a book called " Stigma " , and >there are many others that examine how stigma works in various social >settings. Understanding a complicated problem is a good first step towards >developing unique and possibly brilliant coping strategies, or examining >already existing dysfunctional coping strategies. > > > > Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > > > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > > >face in depth. > > > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > > recently > > at a screening of a children's video i was in > > and this man > > is about two and a half or three feet tall > > of course > > everyone stares at him > > treats him like a circus freak > > and yet > > he was one of the kindest > > most magnanimous > > funniest > > and most interesting humans i'd met > > in a long > > long > > time ... > > > > i bet he has a hard time > > being seen as a sexual object > > by the women he sees around him > > day to day ... > > > > and yet he keeps on > > trying. > > > > > > -- > > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group >(http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't >give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the >subject when replying to a digest ! > > > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > > > To leave the list send an email to >rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 A few months ago, I attended a family dinner and noticed that many of my middle-aged cousins, and most of my aunts and uncles on my mother's side, are suffering rosacea to one degree or another. Beyond this being a disease, I couldn't help thinking that like it or not, it's a part of who I am. I sure wish I didn't have rosacea, but the fact that my ancestors somehow dealt with it impresses me a lot. I'm sure they often felt ugly, horrible, suffered bouts of depression -- or worse. But the fact they lived their lives the best they could, got on with it, and didn't give up provides me a great deal of strength. This strength allows me to respond to rude questions from strangers by telling them that the reasons for my awful sunburn, red ears or red nose are none of their effing business. Leigh Hanlon Chicago, USA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Hi. I have participated in many " Personal Development " courses and not one taught this strategy you have told us about. In fact, most courses and seminars taught strategies on how to befriend people, how to influence them and not how to find ways to " pre-judge " them. I am curious as to the organization that put this " Problem Solving Course " together as I would like to contact them and educate them on cea. This sort of " strategy " they are promoting is, in my opinion, useless and insulting to me - regardless of my cea condition. - Re: Stigmatization & cea >Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 00:24:40 -0700 > >Beginning with " the mutant nose of Spain " post, a thread has developed >around stigma, feeling " mutant " , deformed, ashamed, polluted, etc. There is >a lot of good literature on this in the social sciences. It shows up again >and again in cultural anthropology. Sontag wrote a book called > " Illness as Metaphor " , Erving Goffman wrote a book called " Stigma " , and >there are many others that examine how stigma works in various social >settings. Understanding a complicated problem is a good first step towards >developing unique and possibly brilliant coping strategies, or examining >already existing dysfunctional coping strategies. > > > > Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > > > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > > >face in depth. > > > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > > recently > > at a screening of a children's video i was in > > and this man > > is about two and a half or three feet tall > > of course > > everyone stares at him > > treats him like a circus freak > > and yet > > he was one of the kindest > > most magnanimous > > funniest > > and most interesting humans i'd met > > in a long > > long > > time ... > > > > i bet he has a hard time > > being seen as a sexual object > > by the women he sees around him > > day to day ... > > > > and yet he keeps on > > trying. > > > > > > -- > > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group >(http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't >give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the >subject when replying to a digest ! > > > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > > > To leave the list send an email to >rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 If your " tutor " really was professing that red skin/flushing was a marker of a deeper problem, then he or she needs to receive a verbal spanking. Selfhelp gurus, in my estimation, are seldom worthy of the attention and money they ask for. It sounds as though you were understandably annoyed. I'll try to find some useful links online that deal with social stigma. To be fair, much of the most brilliant stuff is created by " outsiders " of some sort or another. There is no simple formula for coping with a stigmatizing feature (such as rosacea, having black skin in the south during slavery). It's a very personal thing. Many aren't able to cope with it in a " healthy way. " Some might become reclusive and, say, focus a remarkable amount of energy on music, or work. Some might develop a keen sense of humor and coolheadedness that can transform a perceived defect into a godsend. Some might become dedicated medical researchers looking for a cure. Some just give up. etc etc etc I'll try to post some links soon. Re: Water, too much? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >There is a customer, a young man in his late twenties or > > > >early thirties, that comes in to the hardware store where I > > > >work who's face is horrifically scarred and distorted. It > > > >looks like he was severely burned and his face is totally > > > >unrecognizable FOREVER. But he comes in, and it is a very > > > >public busy place, and he comes in and does business face to > > > >face in depth. > > > > > > > >A very brave man. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's this man i met > > > recently > > > at a screening of a children's video i was in > > > and this man > > > is about two and a half or three feet tall > > > of course > > > everyone stares at him > > > treats him like a circus freak > > > and yet > > > he was one of the kindest > > > most magnanimous > > > funniest > > > and most interesting humans i'd met > > > in a long > > > long > > > time ... > > > > > > i bet he has a hard time > > > being seen as a sexual object > > > by the women he sees around him > > > day to day ... > > > > > > and yet he keeps on > > > trying. > > > > > > > > > -- > > > Please read the list highlights before posting to the whole group > >(http://rosacea.ii.net/toc.html). Your post will be delayed if you don't > >give a meaningful subject or trim your reply text. You must change the > >subject when replying to a digest ! > > > > > > See http://www.drnase.com for info on his recently published book. > > > > > > To leave the list send an email to > >rosacea-support-unsubscribe > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 >When I was out in the dating world, there were some guys who probably >didn't talk to me because I had skin problems. There were some guys >who did though. My rosacea waxed and waned in my 20s. I met guys when >my skin was bad and when it looked ok. I never had a boyfriend >comment in a rude or mean way about my skin when it would suddenly >and inexplicably get bad as it seemed to. They would say maybe you >should see a derm or use Clearasil if it bothers you. They still >wanted to go out with me. One of my boyfriends recommended his derm >who cleared up his skin. (He had pimple-free skin so I never would >have guessed.) > >Dating is hard enough as it is without having to complicate it with >rosacea. I have found that guys seemed more interested in me when I >was feeling more confident in myself and friendly towards them. > >On a final note, did you happen to catch the TV documentary the >Hamptons the other week? (I don't know if you live in the US, so that >point may be moot.) There was an attorney who was fast approaching 30 >and wanted to get a husband quickly. She had clear skin and looked >like a model. She also seemed like a very sweet person and >extroverted so shyness wouldn't get in her way. Anyway, in one scene >she was talking about how difficult it was to meet guys at this >resort town where NYC's rich and " want to be rich " hang out. She said >she gave her phone number out to lots of guys she met at clubs and >would feel crushed when they didn't call her for a date. She does >hook up with someone finally, but through a blind date. > >Anyway, you are right that we are all beautiful. There are lots of >people out there who recognize that too! >Take care, >Matija > matija i found this post to be both heart warming and touching. when my face was bad (read: covered in pustules, skin coming off in sheets, raw, oozing in other words: disgusting! i could barely look in the mirror without puking) the very nice man in my life said: " you are beautiful " and kissed me until we steamed up the windows. the only comment he ever made was: that looks sore. is there anything i can do for you? it's really wonderful that some people (young adam included) have the x-ray eyes to see the inside beauty in other people stacey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 >When I was out in the dating world, there were some guys who probably >didn't talk to me because I had skin problems. There were some guys >who did though. My rosacea waxed and waned in my 20s. I met guys when >my skin was bad and when it looked ok. I never had a boyfriend >comment in a rude or mean way about my skin when it would suddenly >and inexplicably get bad as it seemed to. They would say maybe you >should see a derm or use Clearasil if it bothers you. They still >wanted to go out with me. One of my boyfriends recommended his derm >who cleared up his skin. (He had pimple-free skin so I never would >have guessed.) > >Dating is hard enough as it is without having to complicate it with >rosacea. I have found that guys seemed more interested in me when I >was feeling more confident in myself and friendly towards them. > >On a final note, did you happen to catch the TV documentary the >Hamptons the other week? (I don't know if you live in the US, so that >point may be moot.) There was an attorney who was fast approaching 30 >and wanted to get a husband quickly. She had clear skin and looked >like a model. She also seemed like a very sweet person and >extroverted so shyness wouldn't get in her way. Anyway, in one scene >she was talking about how difficult it was to meet guys at this >resort town where NYC's rich and " want to be rich " hang out. She said >she gave her phone number out to lots of guys she met at clubs and >would feel crushed when they didn't call her for a date. She does >hook up with someone finally, but through a blind date. > >Anyway, you are right that we are all beautiful. There are lots of >people out there who recognize that too! >Take care, >Matija > matija i found this post to be both heart warming and touching. when my face was bad (read: covered in pustules, skin coming off in sheets, raw, oozing in other words: disgusting! i could barely look in the mirror without puking) the very nice man in my life said: " you are beautiful " and kissed me until we steamed up the windows. the only comment he ever made was: that looks sore. is there anything i can do for you? it's really wonderful that some people (young adam included) have the x-ray eyes to see the inside beauty in other people stacey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 >> Isn't it kind of like - DISCRIMINATION to label red faces as " problem > people " - just because of the colour of our skin? > >Yes!!! This has definitely happened to me!! Remember, everyone: We are not all beautiful enough to be a girlfriend of Adam's. But we are all beautiful in our own way.. " Jillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Jillian, When I was out in the dating world, there were some guys who probably didn't talk to me because I had skin problems. There were some guys who did though. My rosacea waxed and waned in my 20s. I met guys when my skin was bad and when it looked ok. I never had a boyfriend comment in a rude or mean way about my skin when it would suddenly and inexplicably get bad as it seemed to. They would say maybe you should see a derm or use Clearasil if it bothers you. They still wanted to go out with me. One of my boyfriends recommended his derm who cleared up his skin. (He had pimple-free skin so I never would have guessed.) Dating is hard enough as it is without having to complicate it with rosacea. I have found that guys seemed more interested in me when I was feeling more confident in myself and friendly towards them. On a final note, did you happen to catch the TV documentary the Hamptons the other week? (I don't know if you live in the US, so that point may be moot.) There was an attorney who was fast approaching 30 and wanted to get a husband quickly. She had clear skin and looked like a model. She also seemed like a very sweet person and extroverted so shyness wouldn't get in her way. Anyway, in one scene she was talking about how difficult it was to meet guys at this resort town where NYC's rich and " want to be rich " hang out. She said she gave her phone number out to lots of guys she met at clubs and would feel crushed when they didn't call her for a date. She does hook up with someone finally, but through a blind date. Anyway, you are right that we are all beautiful. There are lots of people out there who recognize that too! Take care, Matija > >> Isn't it kind of like - DISCRIMINATION to label red faces > as " problem > > people " - just because of the colour of our skin? > > > >Yes!!! This has definitely happened to me!! > > Remember, everyone: We are not all beautiful enough to be a > girlfriend of Adam's. But we are all beautiful in our own way.. " > > Jillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Jillian, When I was out in the dating world, there were some guys who probably didn't talk to me because I had skin problems. There were some guys who did though. My rosacea waxed and waned in my 20s. I met guys when my skin was bad and when it looked ok. I never had a boyfriend comment in a rude or mean way about my skin when it would suddenly and inexplicably get bad as it seemed to. They would say maybe you should see a derm or use Clearasil if it bothers you. They still wanted to go out with me. One of my boyfriends recommended his derm who cleared up his skin. (He had pimple-free skin so I never would have guessed.) Dating is hard enough as it is without having to complicate it with rosacea. I have found that guys seemed more interested in me when I was feeling more confident in myself and friendly towards them. On a final note, did you happen to catch the TV documentary the Hamptons the other week? (I don't know if you live in the US, so that point may be moot.) There was an attorney who was fast approaching 30 and wanted to get a husband quickly. She had clear skin and looked like a model. She also seemed like a very sweet person and extroverted so shyness wouldn't get in her way. Anyway, in one scene she was talking about how difficult it was to meet guys at this resort town where NYC's rich and " want to be rich " hang out. She said she gave her phone number out to lots of guys she met at clubs and would feel crushed when they didn't call her for a date. She does hook up with someone finally, but through a blind date. Anyway, you are right that we are all beautiful. There are lots of people out there who recognize that too! Take care, Matija > >> Isn't it kind of like - DISCRIMINATION to label red faces > as " problem > > people " - just because of the colour of our skin? > > > >Yes!!! This has definitely happened to me!! > > Remember, everyone: We are not all beautiful enough to be a > girlfriend of Adam's. But we are all beautiful in our own way.. " > > Jillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Jillian, When I was out in the dating world, there were some guys who probably didn't talk to me because I had skin problems. There were some guys who did though. My rosacea waxed and waned in my 20s. I met guys when my skin was bad and when it looked ok. I never had a boyfriend comment in a rude or mean way about my skin when it would suddenly and inexplicably get bad as it seemed to. They would say maybe you should see a derm or use Clearasil if it bothers you. They still wanted to go out with me. One of my boyfriends recommended his derm who cleared up his skin. (He had pimple-free skin so I never would have guessed.) Dating is hard enough as it is without having to complicate it with rosacea. I have found that guys seemed more interested in me when I was feeling more confident in myself and friendly towards them. On a final note, did you happen to catch the TV documentary the Hamptons the other week? (I don't know if you live in the US, so that point may be moot.) There was an attorney who was fast approaching 30 and wanted to get a husband quickly. She had clear skin and looked like a model. She also seemed like a very sweet person and extroverted so shyness wouldn't get in her way. Anyway, in one scene she was talking about how difficult it was to meet guys at this resort town where NYC's rich and " want to be rich " hang out. She said she gave her phone number out to lots of guys she met at clubs and would feel crushed when they didn't call her for a date. She does hook up with someone finally, but through a blind date. Anyway, you are right that we are all beautiful. There are lots of people out there who recognize that too! Take care, Matija > >> Isn't it kind of like - DISCRIMINATION to label red faces > as " problem > > people " - just because of the colour of our skin? > > > >Yes!!! This has definitely happened to me!! > > Remember, everyone: We are not all beautiful enough to be a > girlfriend of Adam's. But we are all beautiful in our own way.. " > > Jillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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