Re: Stressed out and need help copeing

[Guest guest]

I don't have any magic answers for you. I wish I did. I can't

imagine what you are going through. I do know you are not alone.

About 12 years ago I was called to do some training to staff members

at 2 diffirent group homes. I wish you the best of luck. I have

teenagers and I work with High school kids with emotional problems so

I do know how difficult the situation is that your in. Finding

peopel that will listen, let you cry, rant and rave.

[Guest guest]

I don't have any magic answers for you. I wish I did. I can't

imagine what you are going through. I do know you are not alone.

About 12 years ago I was called to do some training to staff members

at 2 diffirent group homes. I wish you the best of luck. I have

teenagers and I work with High school kids with emotional problems so

I do know how difficult the situation is that your in. Finding

peopel that will listen, let you cry, rant and rave.

[Guest guest]

I don't have any magic answers for you. I wish I did. I can't

imagine what you are going through. I do know you are not alone.

About 12 years ago I was called to do some training to staff members

at 2 diffirent group homes. I wish you the best of luck. I have

teenagers and I work with High school kids with emotional problems so

I do know how difficult the situation is that your in. Finding

peopel that will listen, let you cry, rant and rave.

[Guest guest]

Bev, I can really identify with you! I have a 14 yo son who has ADDH and

went thru YEARS of heck with him before anyone would help. He set fire to

two of our homes and broke windows, put holes in walls, almost killed his

younger brother on several occasions and his older (but mentally retarded)

sister, as well. I am not married and have two other children who have

multiple medical problems besides him, and life for our entire family was

absolute misery until about six months ago. Today he is on Metadate,

Wellbutrin and Risperdal and he is 1000% more in control of his behavior. He

went through group behavior/anger management therapy sessions for six months,

had in home counseling for another six, and finally began the medications he

currently takes. Now, the school work issue still hasn't resolved (it's VERY

difficult to unlearn all those years of lack of study habits) but his grades

have shown a little improvement over past years. The medication that I

attribute most of his change in behavior to is the Risperdal. It is often

used by the psychiatrist treating him to help kids with ADDH control anger.

It's only 10 mg and he takes it every night at bedtime. The medication helps

him sleep and I learned EARLY on that when he doesn't take it, I can expect a

raging bull the next morning. His change in behavior was so dramatic, that

even neighbors began to comment on how WELL behaved he has become. Please

take my advice, (because I used to hate to be in the same ROOM with him, so I

know EXACTLY how you're feeling) and ask the mental health folks about the

anger management group therapy and in home counseling and especially the

Risperdal for your daughter. My son gladly takes his medicines now because

he, too, once faced the prospect of being sent away from home and put into a

hospital for behaviorally handicapped children. My thoughts and best wishes

are with you and your family. Please let us know how things work out for

your daughter and all of you. Love and hugs to you all!

[Guest guest]

Hi Bev,

I've been there too. We have had problems with my 16 yr old som also. He put

holes in the walls, then peed in them, don't ask me why. He set the woods on

fire at 4. He was just a raging hellion! As he got older the problems carried

over to school. We was never openly disrespectful of my husband or myself but at

school he was a monster. So we did the counsiling thing, he was diagnosed ADHD.

He was put on several different meds that were supposed to control his behavior,

but after a few months we were always back where we started from. We tried a

change of enviornment and school systems (he went to live with his dad). That

made it worse (thats a whole other story!!). His dad took him off the meds, quit

counsiling and told me he was magically cured! Then one day his step-mom dumped

him on my doorstep and said I can't deal with him. School was still a nightmare,

they called me daily. Finally, one day as I was sitting in the principals office

I told him, I don't know what to do. I had called everyone asking for some kind

of help. Either I did not have the right kind of insurance, some programs would

only accept medicaid, which I did not have at the time. He basically had to get

in legal trouble before anyone would step in and refer him to program that would

help!! There is a school in our area called crossroads acadamy that deals with

these kind of kids. I practally begged the principal to put him there. He said

that he would have to be refered by the school tribunal council. Basically no

help at all. I hate to admit it but I lost it with this man. I told him, I have

4 other children in the school system (all with good behavior) a child with CF,

and am pregnant with twins. The only way I could help was if someone

gave me the tools.

Fast forward to this year, is a freshman in highschool. He is 16 (failed

twice). By the end of october, he has been kicked off the football team, which

seemed to be his only release for all his agression. And has used all his days

of in school suspension. His English teacher called me daily. I have a meeting

with all of his teachers, the principal (ex football coach) and . It is

basicall the same scenerio as before. I tell them once again, help me, I dont

know what to do. This time they allow me to waive his right to a tribunal

hearing, and within 2 days we have him admitted into crossroads. They have

security cameras on the bus, in the class rooms, fences around the school itself

and armed security guards.They also do random drug testing, which in his case

was needed.This was three days ago. So far so good.

You just have to find the right people to help you, and hope that she will

accept the help. has to earn his right to be back in the regular school

system. And believe me he wants back. During all of this the social worker that

my son Josh (CF) see's saw me falling apart and refered me to a doc for myself.

For a while I needed med,s to cope also. A child like this will affect the whole

family, get hepl for her and get help for your self. And believe me, I have felt

those same feelings about my son. Some day's I just didn't want to look at him

because I was so resentful of all that he had put us through. I love him, but

sometimes I don't like him.

At this point it can only get better (I hope). Good luck, and keep us informed.

Stressed out and need help copeing

Hi my name is Bev

I'm a mother of three girls 20yo, 15yo and a 14yo with CF.My daughter was

diagnosed when she was only 8 weeks old and she was so sick that we almost lost

her. It was very hard on the whole family and her illness has tore us apart many

times. was also diagnosed with ADDH when she was 4 yrs.old and our

lives have never been the same.We tried to get help for years but no one would

believe just how bad it really was. Finally when she was 11yrs.old and after

toally distroying our house someone started to listen but I think it was too

late.We had her put in a home where there were our kids her age with problems.It

was hard to send her away but we were scared to go to sleep at night knowing

what she was capable of doing.

Last year she was home with us for a year and thing were getting bad again so

the doctors put her in the hospital in a program for children with behavior

problems.But nothing seems to be working.

She is a very smart person but she refuses to do school work, she doesn't want

to eat or take her medications.She just refuses to do anything that she is told

or asked to do.

Between her CF,her behaviors and the teen thing I've become a mother who

doesn't want to see her child anymore.I hate the way I feel but my husband and I

are so stressed out that I don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry about the long introduction but if anyone out there can help us to deal

with things please write.

Thanks for listening.