called the doctor about the 9 1/2 exposing herself to my son.

[Guest guest]

hey everyone I went ahead and called the doctor, he made me feel better about

the situation. We discussed my concerns about and how I felt. The

doctor feels that it is best that I explain the differences between girl and

boy and to explain no one is to look or touch him in any manner. I am very

proud of for coming to me and telling me what happened. The doctor

feels that it is best not to over talk the situation, that we need to keep it

simple for him to understand. The doctor also said that is young and

he will forget the incident. He told me that it will be ok. I explained that

the 9 1/2 year old has ADD and seeing a counceler and that she will be

talking to her about what happened and why. Her mother said there was an

issue dealing with a boy that they seem might be the problem, or there might

be an issue with her real dad. I am very unhappy that they did not tell me

she had those issues or I would not have watched them.Hopefully she will get

the help she needs through the counceler or from someone the counceler feels

who can help her.. As for our friendship, it does not exist anymore. I cannot

be around them, I understand what the doctor is saying but they lost my trust

and to me that is a very important part of a friendship. I thank you all for

replying and giving me support.

mommy of 4yrs old w/cf and 16 months old /no cf

[Guest guest]

As a response to this I want to mention something that was discussed in my

psychology class last week. When discussing child abuse (all types) our

teacher said that the " You show me yours, I show you mine " thing is normal

for kids and isn't in and of itself a sign of abuse. She said that they can

even get down right clinical about it with magnifying glasses etc. and it is

still not, in and of itself, a sign of abuse. The warning signs of abuse

are more along the lines of inappropriate knowledge for the age of the

child. Example, would be the 9 1/2 explaining where the boys part goes in

relation to the girls part during intercourse. Or any other explicitly

sexual knowledge that would mean someone had done something to the girl that

would cause her to have that knowledge. Acknowledging the difference

between boys and girls...even clinically is not sexual. It is biology. It

is normal. Now making someone do something they don't want to do is not ok

(and is a warning sign of abuse, as is the age difference in the children)

and both kids need to know that it isn't ok.

We had a similer experience with a 9 year old girl on our street. Our kids

were outside playing was 5, was 4 and the girl invited

them upstairs in her house. They went, even though they weren't allowed to

go into anyones house, and they knew it. I was inside taking care of the

babies and making dinner. They came home and told me that she had told them

that she was going to " marry " them and for them to be married (to each

other), they had to take their pants off and kiss. They did this and felt

very uncomfortable and came home and told us about it. We told them that

those are private areas of their bodies and they shouldn't take their pants

off for anyone. We also explained that because they are brother and sister

they can't get married, but someday they will each find someone else that

they will marry. We don't let them play outside unless someone is watching

them now. I feel that the girl that we were dealing with had inappropriate

knowledge for her age, now looking back at it I think I should have called

DHS. But, she has since moved and I have no idea where she is.

I do want to comment on what we didn't do. We didn't make a big deal about

it in front of the kids. We told them that it wasn't ok and explained that

private means private, and then dropped it and waited for cues from them.

None came, I don't think that the event left an impression on them, at least

not one that is causing them any issues. I think many times parents meaning

to help their kids work through issues, cause issues, where there wouldn't

be any if they just let the kids forget.

Just my long 2 cents.

Sending good thoughts your way,

Pope

Nursing and Midwifery Student

Avon Independant Sales Representative

(www.youravon.com/justinpope) Register as a new customer and use popeavon as

the passcode.

Mom to (6 years, hospital waterbirth, nocf), (5 years,

c/sec for breech, nocf), (2 1/2 years, VBAC home waterbirth, wcf),

iel (1 year, VBAC home waterbirth (nocf). Soon to be step-mom to

(2 years, nocf).

called the doctor about the 9 1/2 exposing herself

to my son.

hey everyone I went ahead and called the doctor, he made me feel better

about

the situation. We discussed my concerns about and how I felt. The

doctor feels that it is best that I explain the differences between girl and

boy and to explain no one is to look or touch him in any manner. I am very

proud of for coming to me and telling me what happened. The doctor

feels that it is best not to over talk the situation, that we need to keep

it

simple for him to understand. The doctor also said that is young and

he will forget the incident. He told me that it will be ok. I explained

that

the 9 1/2 year old has ADD and seeing a counceler and that she will be

talking to her about what happened and why. Her mother said there was an

issue dealing with a boy that they seem might be the problem, or there might

be an issue with her real dad. I am very unhappy that they did not tell me

she had those issues or I would not have watched them.Hopefully she will get

the help she needs through the counceler or from someone the counceler feels

who can help her.. As for our friendship, it does not exist anymore. I

cannot

be around them, I understand what the doctor is saying but they lost my

trust

and to me that is a very important part of a friendship. I thank you all for

replying and giving me support.

mommy of 4yrs old w/cf and 16 months old /no cf

[Guest guest]

As a response to this I want to mention something that was discussed in my

psychology class last week. When discussing child abuse (all types) our

teacher said that the " You show me yours, I show you mine " thing is normal

for kids and isn't in and of itself a sign of abuse. She said that they can

even get down right clinical about it with magnifying glasses etc. and it is

still not, in and of itself, a sign of abuse. The warning signs of abuse

are more along the lines of inappropriate knowledge for the age of the

child. Example, would be the 9 1/2 explaining where the boys part goes in

relation to the girls part during intercourse. Or any other explicitly

sexual knowledge that would mean someone had done something to the girl that

would cause her to have that knowledge. Acknowledging the difference

between boys and girls...even clinically is not sexual. It is biology. It

is normal. Now making someone do something they don't want to do is not ok

(and is a warning sign of abuse, as is the age difference in the children)

and both kids need to know that it isn't ok.

We had a similer experience with a 9 year old girl on our street. Our kids

were outside playing was 5, was 4 and the girl invited

them upstairs in her house. They went, even though they weren't allowed to

go into anyones house, and they knew it. I was inside taking care of the

babies and making dinner. They came home and told me that she had told them

that she was going to " marry " them and for them to be married (to each

other), they had to take their pants off and kiss. They did this and felt

very uncomfortable and came home and told us about it. We told them that

those are private areas of their bodies and they shouldn't take their pants

off for anyone. We also explained that because they are brother and sister

they can't get married, but someday they will each find someone else that

they will marry. We don't let them play outside unless someone is watching

them now. I feel that the girl that we were dealing with had inappropriate

knowledge for her age, now looking back at it I think I should have called

DHS. But, she has since moved and I have no idea where she is.

I do want to comment on what we didn't do. We didn't make a big deal about

it in front of the kids. We told them that it wasn't ok and explained that

private means private, and then dropped it and waited for cues from them.

None came, I don't think that the event left an impression on them, at least

not one that is causing them any issues. I think many times parents meaning

to help their kids work through issues, cause issues, where there wouldn't

be any if they just let the kids forget.

Just my long 2 cents.

Sending good thoughts your way,

Pope

Nursing and Midwifery Student

Avon Independant Sales Representative

(www.youravon.com/justinpope) Register as a new customer and use popeavon as

the passcode.

Mom to (6 years, hospital waterbirth, nocf), (5 years,

c/sec for breech, nocf), (2 1/2 years, VBAC home waterbirth, wcf),

iel (1 year, VBAC home waterbirth (nocf). Soon to be step-mom to

(2 years, nocf).

called the doctor about the 9 1/2 exposing herself

to my son.

hey everyone I went ahead and called the doctor, he made me feel better

about

the situation. We discussed my concerns about and how I felt. The

doctor feels that it is best that I explain the differences between girl and

boy and to explain no one is to look or touch him in any manner. I am very

proud of for coming to me and telling me what happened. The doctor

feels that it is best not to over talk the situation, that we need to keep

it

simple for him to understand. The doctor also said that is young and

he will forget the incident. He told me that it will be ok. I explained

that

the 9 1/2 year old has ADD and seeing a counceler and that she will be

talking to her about what happened and why. Her mother said there was an

issue dealing with a boy that they seem might be the problem, or there might

be an issue with her real dad. I am very unhappy that they did not tell me

she had those issues or I would not have watched them.Hopefully she will get

the help she needs through the counceler or from someone the counceler feels

who can help her.. As for our friendship, it does not exist anymore. I

cannot

be around them, I understand what the doctor is saying but they lost my

trust

and to me that is a very important part of a friendship. I thank you all for

replying and giving me support.

mommy of 4yrs old w/cf and 16 months old /no cf

[Guest guest]

As a response to this I want to mention something that was discussed in my

psychology class last week. When discussing child abuse (all types) our

teacher said that the " You show me yours, I show you mine " thing is normal

for kids and isn't in and of itself a sign of abuse. She said that they can

even get down right clinical about it with magnifying glasses etc. and it is

still not, in and of itself, a sign of abuse. The warning signs of abuse

are more along the lines of inappropriate knowledge for the age of the

child. Example, would be the 9 1/2 explaining where the boys part goes in

relation to the girls part during intercourse. Or any other explicitly

sexual knowledge that would mean someone had done something to the girl that

would cause her to have that knowledge. Acknowledging the difference

between boys and girls...even clinically is not sexual. It is biology. It

is normal. Now making someone do something they don't want to do is not ok

(and is a warning sign of abuse, as is the age difference in the children)

and both kids need to know that it isn't ok.

We had a similer experience with a 9 year old girl on our street. Our kids

were outside playing was 5, was 4 and the girl invited

them upstairs in her house. They went, even though they weren't allowed to

go into anyones house, and they knew it. I was inside taking care of the

babies and making dinner. They came home and told me that she had told them

that she was going to " marry " them and for them to be married (to each

other), they had to take their pants off and kiss. They did this and felt

very uncomfortable and came home and told us about it. We told them that

those are private areas of their bodies and they shouldn't take their pants

off for anyone. We also explained that because they are brother and sister

they can't get married, but someday they will each find someone else that

they will marry. We don't let them play outside unless someone is watching

them now. I feel that the girl that we were dealing with had inappropriate

knowledge for her age, now looking back at it I think I should have called

DHS. But, she has since moved and I have no idea where she is.

I do want to comment on what we didn't do. We didn't make a big deal about

it in front of the kids. We told them that it wasn't ok and explained that

private means private, and then dropped it and waited for cues from them.

None came, I don't think that the event left an impression on them, at least

not one that is causing them any issues. I think many times parents meaning

to help their kids work through issues, cause issues, where there wouldn't

be any if they just let the kids forget.

Just my long 2 cents.

Sending good thoughts your way,

Pope

Nursing and Midwifery Student

Avon Independant Sales Representative

(www.youravon.com/justinpope) Register as a new customer and use popeavon as

the passcode.

Mom to (6 years, hospital waterbirth, nocf), (5 years,

c/sec for breech, nocf), (2 1/2 years, VBAC home waterbirth, wcf),

iel (1 year, VBAC home waterbirth (nocf). Soon to be step-mom to

(2 years, nocf).

called the doctor about the 9 1/2 exposing herself

to my son.

hey everyone I went ahead and called the doctor, he made me feel better

about

the situation. We discussed my concerns about and how I felt. The

doctor feels that it is best that I explain the differences between girl and

boy and to explain no one is to look or touch him in any manner. I am very

proud of for coming to me and telling me what happened. The doctor

feels that it is best not to over talk the situation, that we need to keep

it

simple for him to understand. The doctor also said that is young and

he will forget the incident. He told me that it will be ok. I explained

that

the 9 1/2 year old has ADD and seeing a counceler and that she will be

talking to her about what happened and why. Her mother said there was an

issue dealing with a boy that they seem might be the problem, or there might

be an issue with her real dad. I am very unhappy that they did not tell me

she had those issues or I would not have watched them.Hopefully she will get

the help she needs through the counceler or from someone the counceler feels

who can help her.. As for our friendship, it does not exist anymore. I

cannot

be around them, I understand what the doctor is saying but they lost my

trust

and to me that is a very important part of a friendship. I thank you all for

replying and giving me support.

mommy of 4yrs old w/cf and 16 months old /no cf