Re: Jerry

[Guest guest]

Jerry,

Good to see you are back!! You are certainly missed when we don't hear from

you! I just figured you were away for a holiday weekend, sorry to hear that

wasn't the case. Glad to hear you are feeling better.

Love K

[Guest guest]

Jerry - Thanks for your info. I thought I had most things sussed but have

difficulty in getting my head around this one. In case I dont get online

again, have a very happy christmas. Take care.

Regards Jan

Re: [ ] Jerry - Red Blood Cells

> Jan... I do have plenty of info on both too many red blood cells and

> enlarged ones.

> They are mutually exclusive conditions.

> Enlarged cells (macrocytes are usually the result of folate and/or vit.

> B12 deficiency,

> and may be found in alcohol abuse, but it is also found in Celiac Sprue

> patients as these people have an inability to properly process B12 and

> folates. Also it may be secondary to liver diseases as certain

> cholesterols or other things tend to adhere to hepatocytes and increase

> thier surface area. It can be evidenced by an enlarged spleen and/or

> liver.

> Sprue and AIH often coexist.

> 'm sending a couple of sites on the subjects.

> love jerry

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Jerry,

I am low on the MELD score and no one seems to want to tell me how many folks are on the list at the U. Actually once I got most of my symptoms more in control - all of those meds you mentioned!- I've been pretty stable. My doctors are great and working together proactively though one compared my health today as being balance on a thin fence! The wait could be long which they tell me is good. I go back and forth on how I feel about it because I am so limited from fatigue and can't drive too far due to that and the "brain fog" so I feel rather confined. I had been teaching, bargaining, working on district committees, etc when all came to a screaching halt. On the other hand, I have had so many kindnesses shared with my family and I do have a positive hope in the transplant so I really can't complain too much because there are others who have little. What could have been a very sorrowful year has become a year full of blessings and lots of lessons in humility!

Happy New Year!

Amy

[Guest guest]

I don't go as far as you with no unders but I think I might feel sorry for the snakes if they saw me without them.

You are the exception to the man thing one in a million [head swelling yet]?

luv ya,

the WV hillbilly

[Guest guest]

Jan, so sorry to hear about your dad, i know what you are going through. i will

pray for you all at this very difficult time.

love anita

>

> From: " Ian & Janet " <ianjanaust@...>

> Date: Thu 02/Jan/2003 11:17 GMT

> < >

> Subject: [ ] JERRY

>

> Jerry - Since my last posting wishing everyone a happy new year, Ive been

dealing with my dad being very ill.Hes just come out of theatre for urgent

surgery which they thought was appendicitis (hes coming up 87). They were right.

His appendix had perforated and had turned gangrenes (?). Theyve said the next

48 hours is critical. Jerry Ive heard of perforated appendix but havent heard

that gangrene can go with it. Do you have anything on this condition in any of

your files? Really appreciate your input on this but realise gangrene has

nothing to do with AIH. The doctors i feel are holding back somewhat.. I realise

that because of his age he may have a struggle on his hands but hes always been

a very tough nut.I havent handled this news well, and Ive always been the strong

stoic one in the family. Im logging off now for a few hours sleep. Just as a

disclaimer I know you're not a doctor but also know your a whizz at finding

things out. Im very tired.

> Thankyou Jan

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Jan....when the appendix bursts it fills the abdomen with toxins... it

is a very serious condition. You call it gangrene which is prbably

apt... it is also known as peritonitis. I don't have to look this one up

as my youngest daughter had it happen to her.Emergency surgery saved her

life. The doctor said a couple more hours without the surgery would have

killed her. A burst appendix can be very painful and as noted can cause

death in a hurry. She was hospitalized 4 or 5 days. My emparhy and

sympathy go out to you and especially your father. At his age (my mother

is 87, also) recovery may be a slow anxious time. I'm sending up prayers

for a quick , uneventful, successful recovery.

as always

love jerry

[Guest guest]

Wait a minute Jerry, you know darn well Miami was ROBBED. That was a BAD call even the announcers said so. But I do agree GO BUCKS!

Genny

[Guest guest]

Genny, Genny, Genny...... have you been imbibing the same sour grapes as

Patty?

I thought you were more reasonable and could see things as they are and

should be. Ohio State is a team of destiny , annointed by the football

gods.. ... bad calls are in the eye of the beholder..perhaps your

glasses were a tad dirty.... Ohio State is the national champion... it

said so in all the papers. and on ESPN....

love jerry

[Guest guest]

CaroleK,,,,,, I'm a little the opposite....I don't have a lot of things

I used to have...use your imagination....sigh.....

My daughter has 4 toes....she lost one in a tragic television accident.

so you got 20 between youse.

Lets see , poor lil podunk us may have an advanced facility or

two......the Cleveland Clinic is a rather progresive

operation....annually being named as one of the to 3 hospitals in the

world but what do we know....you been smoking sagebrush?

You've uncovered my secret...dyslexia...

I mispelled palymealgio ...i'm glad you corrected me.... I sent a site

describing it..

You are so right.... nothing brings tears of uncontrollable laughter to

my eyes better than hearing about an hysterical hysterectomy.....you

jokester you..

Some girls here had an urge...can you blame them?..... to see what I

looked like. They thought ..I can see why....that a picture of doctor in

one the web sites I sent was me. I attempted to send a couple of

pictures, of me, from our archives and some were understandably

disappointed at being unable to open them.....I don't know why they

couldn't...pehaps because of using digest format.... I sent them dirctly

to personal addres and I thought you were one of them....

I just know your Bx will turn out great and the doctor will give you 73

more years of good living.

love jerry

Hi Jerry!

Don't know what the bunp is either, and it doesn't normally hurt.

Only when I lean on the arm. Just another of those 'gee, I never had

this before...' things.

And you know, with all that has gone on lately, I am still not

worried about what the results are going to be on biopsy. I just

expect it to come back fine. I guess because I am so used to my body

never doing anything normal. Like say, menapause at 27. Oh the list

of weird things I could tell you about - like having six toes on my

left foot, with the second and third ones being completely fused

together. (The sixth one actually grew out the side of that like a

branch! Told you I am not normal.)

And look at how many years I went with symptoms of this before it was

ever found. My mom reminded me recently that they had me in with the

upper right quad pain as far back as when I was twelve, along with

endless fevers they could never explain, even as a small child. My

hands have been this fire red since I was about 20. Had abnormal

enzymes off and on as far back as a teen ager too. I even had Quest

diagnostics (a big lab here in the west - don't know if they are

there in podunk Ohio) call me twice about the elevations because they

were afraid my doc was ignoring them and they had seen so many come

through. I just like to keep them guessing. Bit tired of it

though, but my family keeps reminding me how strong I am and what I

have endured in my life - again the list would be huge. I figure

though if I could go that long with enzymes being naughty, then I

could possibly go on for a long time with out any serious damage

done. (She says as she crosses fingers and toes.)

Was what you were talking about polymyaglia or did you boo boo? Is

it polymyalgia? Don't quite recongnize the termonology spelled the

other way, but hey it's been a while, and the memory isn't as good as

it used to be. Can't wait to help my daughter with her nursing

classes - it will be a wonderful refresher.

You made me laugh again! Before my hysterctomy, I was in with my

gyno as often as twice a week for almost a year with them trying

everything known to man to stop the pain and bleeding. I ran into

him one day at the store - he recognized me first. I told him I was

surprised he recognized me by my face, or with out my legs dangling

above my head. He actually blushed. (The hysterectomy by the way,

my docs now think was because my uterus was possibly the first organ

of target with this defective immune system.)

Also, in answer to your question, I did not receive any pics. Was it

to my email address or on here? Gee I hope you have you clothes on

in them.....people may talk Lol

[Guest guest]

That was a joke! I would never say that to anyone and certainly not a doctor. This also not when I was in the ER, but a couple of weeks later. Actually, it was never said at all. It was simply the thought that popped into my mind when the GI doc said I knew more than the ER doc.

okay - now I really believe this horse is beyond dead!

W

Re: [ ] Carole from W

But see your reaction was "na na na , I know more than you"...when in fact you don't ...

[Guest guest]

Jean:

I apologize for answering to a post to Jerry, but as I read your post, I could not help but think of myself two years ago.

I had thriple by-pass surgery and surgery to clear the arties in my neck within two days. I had also just guit smoking. By the way, I was only 49, had always been the one in my family that was never sick, so it was really unexpected. While recovering from the surgeries, we became worried that I might be suffering from liver problems also. As soon as my cardiologist thought it was okay, I had the endoscopy, colonscopy and then a biopsy of the liver. The results of these tests was a diagnosis of PBC and miscroscopic colitis. Six months later I was diagnosed with type II diabetes.

Now, I have always been the tough mother and wife. The one who takes care of everybody. But suddenly I was scared to death, suffering from anxiety attacks and wanted to cry and not know why. I hated feeling this way. Fortunately for me, I have a wonderful family doctor and I made an appointment to see her. After talking to me for about 20 minutes, she looked at me and told me that it was a wonder that I had not broken down already. A person can be pretty tough, but at some point everyone needs help. She put me on an antidepressant and something to help the anxiety. In about a month I felt like a different person. Much more able to again deal with life in general and amazingly my pain even got better.

Instead of putting off doing something about the way you feel, go see your family physician or whoever you trust and get put on a medication that will help. I know we have to be careful about the medications we take, but my GI agrees that my mental well being is as important as my physical well being, so he agrees that I will probably have to stay on the antidepressant. Liver disease is a long battle, but if you give in to it now, your quality of life will be poor.

I have an adult son who is bypolar and knowing that you worked in a group home, I can imagine what kind of stress you dealt with. Give yourself a break and get the help you need to deal with your illness mentally. These next few years will be much easier for you.

Some people may be able to deal with all of this without any medication that will help, but why make yourself miserable.

Carolyn D

[Guest guest]

Jerry - I am in the negative mode that you referred to in a earlier post, why? I had

a gastroscopy yesterday and before I even went into their IV drug induced sleep he

examined me and said my liver was enlarged before I could say anything I was out.

Jerry, with all of the knowledge that you have on so many subjects please tell me what he means please don't spare my feelings as I would rather know the truth. As

I was wakeing up he told my husband I have a hitial (spelled wrong) hernia, and did a

biopsy of something that was in my stomach. Blood levels werein normal range last time tested. also, another pleasant surprise gastritis. Tuesday I got told that I have

fibromylgia, this has been a great week. What I don't understand is why it enlarged all of a sudden I know it has been hard to sleep on that side for a couple of weeks

now and I do have URQ not extreme just enough to let you know it's there. I hope

that you have any ideas that would help me Jerry my stress and anxiety level right

now are 0. I had myself a good darn cry that helped a little, it's like I am still on

those drugs they give you so you don'tt remember for 24 hours. I appreciate any

ideas, God Bless you and thank you for whatever help you can give. I am sorry

Gerry I know I am babbleing it wasjust quite a shock they can tell you it's going to happen but when it does wham!!! Hug's, H.

[Guest guest]

Jean.... We are getting snow as I write....since you have aknowleged its

beauty , I know that you are not lost.....you still can recognize the

important things....such as God's gifts , great and small. Wouldn't it

be sad if you could not apptediate its beauty. One of the gifts God has

given us is our minds....man has continued to evolve and discover better

and better ways to serve his fellow....one of these is advancements made

in medicine....aspirin, surgical techniques, penicilin, transplants,

even my new drug of choice ....viagra......the list grows every day at

increasing speed......another thing on that list is the emergence of

medicines that can correct certain chemical imbalances in the brain (no

matter how they came about) Drugs such as Prozac and Zoloft have helped

a great many peope who suffer from depression, and give them the ability

to cope with extrordinary stress. You've got a lot on your plate.....why

not take advantage of what modern science has to offer. You don't

necesarily have to see a shrink or someone like that....your PCP

probably would be glad to hook you up.

Of course the stress of a serious disease is enough to make you feel

like you need a tune up and maybe some duct tape to keep you from

falling apart....but even more.... if you peruse the pamphlets that come

with your meds, you will see that (at least for prednisone) depression

and mood swings are undesirable side effects of that drug. Relief is

there.

Reality is... you have this situation.

Negativity is.... not doing what you can agout it.

You've got to ask yourself what part of this can I do notthing about?

What patrs can I change?

Reality.... I can't change the fact I have a disease.

Negativity....feeling sorry for yourself (who cares)

You can't take back something you forgot to do nor words you wish you

hadn't said. You can offer apolgies where appropriate and try to do

better and then stop dwelling on it and MOVE ON .

Stay in the moment . That is the only place you have any chance of

affecting anything.

Do those things you can ...let God do those you can't.

Acceptance is the key'

Another thing ...what other people think of you or expect of you, is

none of your business.... your business is yours and Gods. Don't let

others expectations run your life.

Now if all that fails... since you get sad in the evening but are good

in the mornings....skip the evenings and keep setting the clock so it.s

always morning.

As far as the liver pain goes ....its been so long since I was.in that

place.... don't remember how bad it was...as my cirrhosis got worse the

liver shrank and the pain disappeared.... I guess in a way you should

then be thankful for the pain...it lets you know you're still alive.

if we didn't have pain we wouldn't know the exquisitness of its relief,

if we didn't have ugly we couldn't appreciate beauty

If we didn't have sorrow how would we know what joy was like?

The one thing that may be fairly constant is humor... I suspect you have

a sense of it.. don't sweat the small stuff....go out and enjoy God's

snow.

I know this to be true of all things....that whatever happens it what is

suppsed to be and it is just.. alright.

You. my darling. am going to be alright.

love as always and peace too

Sir jerry

I don'ts tolerates no genuflecting...

Buts I don'ts turn down no cash....perferrably Amurrican

[Guest guest]

Jerry,

Your words were truly inspiring. I do believe that everything

happens for a reason. Sometimes we may never know the reason, but

it is always there. Other times we realize the reason in the near

or distant future. I also believe that something good can come from

even the worst of situations, but we have to allow our eyes and

hearts to be open to see the good. God tells us that it is not just

the good times that are blessing, but the burdens are also

blessings. I know that for me that is true. It is only because of

the burdens (whether they are physical, emotional, financial, etc.)

that I am truly able to appreciate the better times and feel so

incredibly blessed by even the little things in my life.

Having said all that, some days it is easier to remember those

things than others. When given a diagnosis of a chronic illness

that will never go away (might go into remission forever if you are

lucky, but it will still be there) it is often very shocking,

frightening, and overwhelming. My daughter is 21 years old, yet my

biggest fear in life is leaving her on this earth when she still

needs me. There are others who also love and need me, but not in

the same sense. In my mind, I know that my daughter has learned

everything she needs to know to be fine in the world with or without

my continued physical presence in her life. However, in my heart is

an image of this lovely young woman looking at me with tears in her

eyes and saying, " I don't want to lose my mommy. I still need

her. " I told her I have no intention of going anywhere, but the

thought was (is) frightening for me. I know, I could die today in a

car wreck on the way to my doctor's appt. However, it's somehow

different with an illness. I say all this because I cannot imagine

how this must feel for those of you with little ones still at home.

For the most part, I put this thought totally out of my mind, since

thinking and worrying about it will get me nowhere but stressed! In

reality, the chances are I will die when I am old and gray with

lupus, AIH, etc. not from any of my current medical issues. I am

doing everything within my power to take care of my body and mind.

I will eat right, exercise, take the meds needed, etc. Those are

the things I can control. I will work daily (sometimes hourly) on

letting go of the things I cannot control. For me, that is tough.

I must work at it always. I forget that it is only with God's help

that all things are possible. So, every day I ask for God to remind

me that I must give those things over which I have no control to Him.

So, about 98% of the time I am able to simply laugh at all the

things going on in my wacky body. I take my drugs and I go on. I

do have to say that without the anti-depressant (wellbutrin) I might

only be able to do that about 50% of the time. By the way, I have

wondered if I wouldn't do better with a different type of anti-

depressant (such as zoloft, prozac, etc.). I am lucky enough to

have great insurance so I am seeing a psychologist at the pain mgmt

clinic. I saw him the first time and they have some sort of board

where they meet and discuss the patient with the 'board' and then

decide the best course of treatment. I haven't heard back from them

when my next appt will be. Maybe they met and decided there is

nothing to be done for me but lock me in the funny farm! I'm

telling you, it's the red hair. Those red roots just go right to

the brain and it makes you wacky! Anyway, one of the reasons I

wanted to work with the psychologist was so that he could determine

whether or not I need to see a psychiatrist and be on a different

antidepressant or if wellbutrin truly is the right one for me.

Around here, you cannot get in to any of the psychiatrists unless

you are referred by a psychologist. Okay - guess I'll just wait til

I hear what they decide to do with me.

Sometimes is is tough to keep things in perspective, especially when

you are dealing with the newness of yet another medical issue.

Fact - I have a lot of medical issues for someone my age (not quite

42)

Fact - Many younger than me have many more (and much more serious)

medical issues

Fact- I am blessed with good health insurance, a loving and

supportive, husband, daughter, stepdaughter, sister, brother, mom,

stepdad, etc.

Fact - I can and will go on with life.

Fact - I will have some bad days (as far as pain, fatigue, nausea,

etc.)

Fact - I will also have many, many better days!

As you can see - I could go on forever. Thank you for reminding us

all of the fact that we can deal with a chronic illness and still

have a great life.

- Right now you are overwhelmed with the newness of AIH. You

are not feeling well physically but you still have to take care of

your family, which includes little ones if I remember correctly.

Geez - I don't know how you do it. You have every right to feel

overwhelmed! I know everyone is different, but I do truly believe

that things will get better for you. Take a deep breath and take it

one day at a time. Know that you are in my prayers as are all in

this group and my other support groups.

Hope everyone has a great day.

W

[Guest guest]

Jerry,

You are so funny! I know - I must be nuts to laugh so often about

medical issues. However, I had my week long cry and all it really

did was make my contacts cloudy and my nose run.

If I didn't know better, I would think you were just a mean jerk.

However, I know that everything is said out of love, and the sad

thing is that you are right. Now, don't let your head swell much

more - you might not be able to fit through the door!

Thanks for helping us all to remember that it could be worse!

W

> .....you rascal... I was having a good night and feeling very

good

> about myself....saving the world and all.

> 1st lets see why you were crying....so the doctor told you you had

a big

> liver.....so what? I got a big belly and I hardly ever cry about

it.

> Its not the end of the world....you got a liver disease (which

one... I

> forgot) The liver is irritated. If you get an irritation on other

parts

> of your body.. many times it swells...thats what happens...but

when the

> irritation is relieved the swelling goes down. Likewise if they

are

> treating you correctly eventually your liver swelling will go down

too,

> and your pains will lessen

> I know its a bummer, but right now its just the way it is. Crying

and

> moping and despairing ain't go to change anything except make you

feel

> worse. What you can change is your attitude. Resolve to make te

best of

> your situation and move on or you'll just get sucked in deeper.

> There are probably billions of people out there worse off than

you....

> hell, I don't what you'd be like if you had been as sick as I ,with

> cirrhosis. I survived and now I'm rich and famous the envy of all

my

> friends

> and I only complained if I was trying to get something (it rarely

> worked) .

> I'm sorry to hear about the hiatal hernia but thats why you have

> gastritis....they can be treated.

> Anyway....you probably did the most cathartic thing ...bitch to

me...

> I'm someone who cares if your suffering but I can also tell you

its time

> to stop your pity party.....doesn't do one bit of positive good.

>

> The very best medicine when you are feeling like this ...is to do

> something good to help someone else who may be suffering too.

Helping

> others gets your mind off yourself and makes you fel good. Try it

you'll

> like it.

> In the meantime you got to sleep on your left side. ( I used to

put ice

> on my liver when it hurt....I don't know if it helped, but I

thought it

> did, and that was enough.

> Now chee up or I'll come over and tickle you till you laugh or

choke to

> death whichever comes 1st.

>

> And if no one told you they love yet today let me be the first. I

love

> you.

>

> jerry

[Guest guest]

it is important to remember that the least important thing in

life is ourself.

The most important is the other 6 billion or so brothers and sisters.

Take care of them and we will be amazed at how our own needs are met.

But then I have the feeling you already know this.. as do the other

wonderful peope in this group.

My love to you all.

jerry

listen there is the slightest, teensiest, remotest possibility that I

may (gulp) seem sometimes (seldom that is) like a jerk , but I am never

knowingly mean.

[Guest guest]

....just read this email and it was very well said....which does

suprize me coming from a redhead (they are some blonde away fom being

orange). I have often thought red heads a tad strange and should

probably all be in psycho-analysis.

You had better watch out... that board may be just waiting to sneak up

with the straight jachet.

It is strangely soothing when one can laugh at his/her trouble. I for

one just do not have any " bad days " . I have bad moments but it's up to

me to turn it or not to turn it into a whole bad day .

Today I got beat with 2 full houses and an ace , king , queen flush but

still managed to keep my losses at a minimum because I also know

tomorrow is another day and those poor saps are mine, all mine.

....hee,hee..... so I guess it wasn't a bad day, just a couple of bad

hands. My back and knees hurt all day...I think....but I refused to

dwell on the pain. OH, I complained a few times (because what good is

having pain if you can't get some sympathy) but gave up cause no one was

listening, they were too interested in their own problems, and it didn't

help me to relieve the pain....those bastards. ... lol.

Keep up the attitude....you got it right.

My daughters think I'll live forever, too and so I think I will just to

make them wish they hadn't thought that way.

My mom is 87 and I sure don't want to los her either....she's a pretty

good mom.

Man I sure am posting a lot tonight and with very little humor I might

add, I must be sick to be this serious.... too bad I had to pick this

century to give up drinking.

I gotta go.....and I mean I really gotta go.

love jerry

[Guest guest]

Ruth....I think you misunderstood me . I am not judging anyone.. I'm

just trying to help put things in perspective.Every thing said is out

of pure concern over others problems, mostly I am relating how I handle

the every day problems in my life.

I am neither a mother nor a wife. But I am a father and grandfather.

Rmember I lost my wife at an early age (she was 39) I spent the next

five years feeling sorry for myself and being overwhelmed by having to

be both a father and a mother to 4 decasted young girls, how could Iever

cope. I went to the bottle and cursed my bad fortune and that of the

girks i was letting down. Oh woe...... I cried too.

Know what? My wife was and is still dead

Didn't change a thing.

Nine years ago I was Dxd end stage cirrhosis and given 6 mos. to live. I

lost hope and thought what a waste of lives.

It was beyond my control....thats where God stepped in and did for me

what I couldn't due for myself. I went into trewatment and developed a

personal

relationship with the God of ny understanding. Thrpugh meditation and

conversations (prayer) with Him..I came to understand there are many

things I have absolutely no control over and to stop worrying about them

and let Him eake care of them...that's his business.

I in turn must do my part by taking care of thos things I can control.

(I must say He is better at His job than I am at mine.) I discovered I

was unable to effect any changes or solutions if I was bogged down with

worrying about what will happen if tis happens or that happens. I

absolutely have no control over the future and a constant state of

unhappiness, worry,and self pity accomplishes nothing . What is going to

happen will. If I die today those I leave behind will survive till it's

their turn and so on. it's been that way since creation and will till He

calls all in.Thats life. I survived my wifes death and my fathers and

will my mothers (if I out live her. The best thing I can do for me AND

EVERYONE else is to make lemonade. That is taking care of them. Worrying

what will happen is not. Happiness is an inside job and happiness breeds

happiness. Being down does nothing. It makes those around you down too.

I am in no way trying to control other peoples feelings and you are

right each of us has to go through a process to get to acceptance and

maybe we each will finally figure it out on our own...but maybe each

won't. Don't you think that a little help from someome whose been there

may help to accelerate that process...may help them stop and think I may

may have some basic truths. I am doing exactly what you suggest... i'm

offering my own experiences and subsequent outlook out of nothing but

love and compassion for fellow sufferes. If anyone is hurt by my

offerings of help I am truly sorry thats not my intention at all nor am

I lecturing if that is the reaction. People come here for support but

support is not just saying there, there I.m sorry you are feeling badly.

Support is sharing your own experiences and offering ways out . Telling

someone constantly , Gee I really feel bad for you doesn't really solve

their problems/ Tale some advice knowing it is given in love and a

desire to help. I feel just as bad for al who are suffering as anyone

else but the idea is to alleviar\te

it.

The thing is (and this is my true observation...means no disrespect)

Be a good mother while you are here , be a good wife while you are here

because there is absolutely no way you can when you are gone....in this

way you will have done all you can and your childen will do the same for

their children and they will do the same for theirs and so on...

The key is do it not worry if you can or will or have done it..life is

all about the MOMENT .... yesterdays gone, tommorow will never be. When

you worry (etc. there you are in the past and the moment has moved on.

Nothing has been accomplished and that can't be good.

You know I do think a lot about things and my whole life is not about

being a clown as many (even some here) may think.

I may not be right about any of this but it is all offered in love and

for no other reason. I didn't get to be 60 yrs. old and not learn some

worthwhile things (although I was infinitely smarter 40 yrs. ago....if

you could ask my Dad he'd tell you.

To put things in a little more perspective..... I was assured was going

to die a pretty lousy death and I didn't....

3 years after my Tx I was told I had incurable cancer .but I'm still

here and I still have it

3 years ago I was told I had AIH (incurable) I didn't even know what it

was and now I'm stuck on prednisone the rest of my life.

I am unable to work I once had my own business which paid me a much as

$90,000/yr. Now I have absolutely no assests or life insurance or health

insurance. I'm going to spend the rest of my life at the largess of the

govenment and family...a we bit emasculating.

My situation affords me no way if ever having a wife or companion again

and I get pretty lonely if I let myself.

Now my doctor wants to put me on blood pressure pills (but I don't like

a lot of meds, so.. ( a couple of my teeth are falling out too and I am

slightly vain about my looks)

I I have other problems too , maybe these are not as bad as any of you

alls.....

But problems are problems....

I am going to tell you the truth and the truth is this ....in the last

nine years ( a year and half before my Tx) I have had not one single

" bad day " ....none

If you were to read back thru all my posts here you will not find one..

not one.... in which I have complained about any thing...that is not

what I see as my purpose.to the group.... I try to downplay our troubles

and fears. make fun of those things I find funny, try to make each of

you find the humor too. Research your questions and send the answers if

I can

Give out advice as I see it and only from a sense of care and

commitment. My biggest fault is a slight temper at times for which I am

truly sorry.... but I'm Irish and my temper fades faster than it rises.

This is my perception of support. The support I receive in return is te

realizatuin of how blessed I am as my problems are nothing compared to

most of yours and satisfaction if I have helped someone or at least made

them laugh. Support is more than empathy or sympathy it is also about

telling the truth.

I belong to another support group that has about a milion members, they

saved my life and they keep me alive and one thing that not offered is

sympathy and very little tolerance for self pity...the thing that is

offered is love.

And that is my sincere offer to to you all

jerry

[Guest guest]

Ruth....that's what we are family!

I'm not so sure we even disagree....I think you will also find that the

bulk of my post are sympathetic and empathetic and that most of the time

i pray for each ones relief. And I really do pray for them (and us)

asking for God's good guidance.

Harper constantly reminds me that often what we feel in our hearts

doesn't always translate well over the impersonalness (is that a word?)

of the internet and that my bluntness at times may be taken wrong.

I am really asking... not accusing. if sometimes some of our feelings

are self pity...i am really hoping that one would loook inside

themselves and find the truth. The Bible says the truth shall set you

free.

Each of the 2 responses (that started this discussion) I gave were to

people asking MY imput, not anyone elses, and were given truthfully as I

saw it. And as they were MY amswers to questions directed toward ME they

really shouldn't be subject to criticism, good or bad, by others who

weren't involved. Probably should have been posted off line.

Now I know that what I just wrote is going to come off badly as Harper

will point out, but again I mean no harm or disrespect...

just telling the truth as I see it. (sometimes I do need a little jolt

in my perspective, it tends toward narrowness)

Now please my little sister let's kiss and make up.

I will say that you are by far one of the most caring and sensitive

persons here and I greatly admire you (you also tell the truth a very

admirable trait)

None of this is a reflection of my afore-mentioned temper

I love you. Stay exactly as you are , you can't improve on

perfection....I need someone besides Harper to keep me in line. Thank

you, you do an excellent job. (maybe a little too good)

love jerry

[Guest guest]

Jerry,

Don't take me too seriously, I come from a large passionate family

and it may look like fireworks but it isn't as bad as it appears. I

used to think to be strong was never admitting you had any pain, I

went to counseling for a lot of pain in my childhood. I learned that

it was okay to say how you feel and it was healthier than pushing it

down inside, and having it come out sideways and hurt people. It was

a scary time when I would erupt in rage at my children when they

hadn't done anything, I realized I needed to face my pain, grieve

over it, than I could put it into it's proper perspective. I don't

share this with too many, so I am being very brave to share it now. I

felt that I had to be this strong little soldier all the time and I

thought I would let God down, but God showed me, that only He is

strong, in fact, his strength is made perfect in my weakness. I came

out of that time of counseling with joy and excitement for life, I

finally loved myself and realized my life had purpose, I even went

back to finish my degree, with my dear husband cheering me on, our

daughter was third grade and our son in first when I went back to

school. I haven't stopped, I have a totally different perspective on

my life. I love the verse you gave out of , that is one of my

favorites. By the way, I had seven older brothers, no sisters, would

that explain anything?

Love Ya Lots,

Ruth

> Ruth....that's what we are family!

> I'm not so sure we even disagree....I think you will also find that

the

> bulk of my post are sympathetic and empathetic and that most of the

time

> i pray for each ones relief. And I really do pray for them (and us)

> asking for God's good guidance.

> Harper constantly reminds me that often what we feel in our hearts

> doesn't always translate well over the impersonalness (is that a

word?)

> of the internet and that my bluntness at times may be taken wrong.

> I am really asking... not accusing. if sometimes some of our

feelings

> are self pity...i am really hoping that one would loook inside

> themselves and find the truth. The Bible says the truth shall set

you

> free.

> Each of the 2 responses (that started this discussion) I gave were

to

> people asking MY imput, not anyone elses, and were given truthfully

as I

> saw it. And as they were MY amswers to questions directed toward ME

they

> really shouldn't be subject to criticism, good or bad, by others who

> weren't involved. Probably should have been posted off line.

> Now I know that what I just wrote is going to come off badly as

Harper

> will point out, but again I mean no harm or disrespect...

> just telling the truth as I see it. (sometimes I do need a little

jolt

> in my perspective, it tends toward narrowness)

> Now please my little sister let's kiss and make up.

> I will say that you are by far one of the most caring and sensitive

> persons here and I greatly admire you (you also tell the truth a

very

> admirable trait)

> None of this is a reflection of my afore-mentioned temper

> I love you. Stay exactly as you are , you can't improve on

> perfection....I need someone besides Harper to keep me in line.

Thank

> you, you do an excellent job. (maybe a little too good)

>

> love jerry

[Guest guest]

Yes Ruth it explains plenty.....

How very true and well said was your message...thank you

Take a minute to read Sophies post and my reply.... think we are all

coming together here in spite of ourselves...

You must be plenty tough ...7 brothers...

and how many sons? It should be very easy for you to forgive (or at

least understand) my male strutting and bellowing.and bluster,...

harumph... whew am I lucky.

I loves you too jerry

[Guest guest]

Jerry,

I do know now that you are not knowingly mean, even though I thought

you were at first!

I am never knowingly a pompous know it all, but sometimes I come

across that way!

W

> it is important to remember that the least important thing

in

> life is ourself.

> The most important is the other 6 billion or so brothers and

sisters.

> Take care of them and we will be amazed at how our own needs are

met.

> But then I have the feeling you already know this.. as do the other

> wonderful peope in this group.

>

> My love to you all.

> jerry

>

> listen there is the slightest, teensiest, remotest possibility

that I

> may (gulp) seem sometimes (seldom that is) like a jerk , but I am

never

> knowingly mean.

[Guest guest]

Jerry,

I just wanted to let you know that I do see the love, caring, and

concern in your words. As a man, your way is simply different from

the way a woman shows love and concern. That is how it is meant to

be. Contrary to women libbers, I believe and treasure the fact that

men and women are different and we have different roles in life.

I'm not saying women can't do anything they want to do, but we are

to be the more nurturing, sympathetic sex. Men are to be the

more 'get down to business; you can't change it so don't dwell on it

and go on' sex. I feel that is as God planned it. Men and women

should compliment each other - not be/feel/act the same.

Sometimes, as a woman, it is hard for us to accept the way men are

(I'm not saying every man is the same but there are some fundamental

ways that are basically true for every male). Sometimes, women just

need a simple pat on the hand, a hug, a little kiss and a friend or

loved one to tell that they know this hard and that they are sorry.

That is not to say that women need this every day, all day long, and

there does come a point when maybe we just need to be told to 'buck

up'!

Don't be offended by Ruth's post. I hope Ruth doesn't mind me

speaking for her, but I don't think she meant it to blast or

criticize your way of supporting the members of the group. Your

method of love and support is absolutely vital. However, the method

of the simple pat, hug, and acknowledgement that things are tough

and they do suck is also vital at times.

It is my opinion that the members of this group compliment each

other well. We must all keep in mind that regardless of the method

of support one offers, it is all given out of love and not from a

mean spirit.

W

[Guest guest]

Wow Jerry, your post is so insightful. I think that a lot of your insight

has come from personal tragedy. You truly have made peace with your losses.

One day, I hope to be able to be in your same spot.

debby Re: [ ] Re: Jerry

> Ruth....I think you misunderstood me . I am not judging anyone.. I'm

> just trying to help put things in perspective.Every thing said is out

> of pure concern over others problems, mostly I am relating how I handle

> the every day problems in my life.

> I am neither a mother nor a wife. But I am a father and grandfather.

> Rmember I lost my wife at an early age (she was 39) I spent the next

> five years feeling sorry for myself and being overwhelmed by having to

> be both a father and a mother to 4 decasted young girls, how could Iever

> cope. I went to the bottle and cursed my bad fortune and that of the

> girks i was letting down. Oh woe...... I cried too.

> Know what? My wife was and is still dead

> Didn't change a thing.

> Nine years ago I was Dxd end stage cirrhosis and given 6 mos. to live. I

> lost hope and thought what a waste of lives.

> It was beyond my control....thats where God stepped in and did for me

> what I couldn't due for myself. I went into trewatment and developed a

> personal

> relationship with the God of ny understanding. Thrpugh meditation and

> conversations (prayer) with Him..I came to understand there are many

> things I have absolutely no control over and to stop worrying about them

> and let Him eake care of them...that's his business.

> I in turn must do my part by taking care of thos things I can control.

> (I must say He is better at His job than I am at mine.) I discovered I

> was unable to effect any changes or solutions if I was bogged down with

> worrying about what will happen if tis happens or that happens. I

> absolutely have no control over the future and a constant state of

> unhappiness, worry,and self pity accomplishes nothing . What is going to

> happen will. If I die today those I leave behind will survive till it's

> their turn and so on. it's been that way since creation and will till He

> calls all in.Thats life. I survived my wifes death and my fathers and

> will my mothers (if I out live her. The best thing I can do for me AND

> EVERYONE else is to make lemonade. That is taking care of them. Worrying

> what will happen is not. Happiness is an inside job and happiness breeds

> happiness. Being down does nothing. It makes those around you down too.

> I am in no way trying to control other peoples feelings and you are

> right each of us has to go through a process to get to acceptance and

> maybe we each will finally figure it out on our own...but maybe each

> won't. Don't you think that a little help from someome whose been there

> may help to accelerate that process...may help them stop and think I may

> may have some basic truths. I am doing exactly what you suggest... i'm

> offering my own experiences and subsequent outlook out of nothing but

> love and compassion for fellow sufferes. If anyone is hurt by my

> offerings of help I am truly sorry thats not my intention at all nor am

> I lecturing if that is the reaction. People come here for support but

> support is not just saying there, there I.m sorry you are feeling badly.

> Support is sharing your own experiences and offering ways out . Telling

> someone constantly , Gee I really feel bad for you doesn't really solve

> their problems/ Tale some advice knowing it is given in love and a

> desire to help. I feel just as bad for al who are suffering as anyone

> else but the idea is to alleviar\te

> it.

> The thing is (and this is my true observation...means no disrespect)

> Be a good mother while you are here , be a good wife while you are here

> because there is absolutely no way you can when you are gone....in this

> way you will have done all you can and your childen will do the same for

> their children and they will do the same for theirs and so on...

> The key is do it not worry if you can or will or have done it..life is

> all about the MOMENT .... yesterdays gone, tommorow will never be. When

> you worry (etc. there you are in the past and the moment has moved on.

> Nothing has been accomplished and that can't be good.

> You know I do think a lot about things and my whole life is not about

> being a clown as many (even some here) may think.

> I may not be right about any of this but it is all offered in love and

> for no other reason. I didn't get to be 60 yrs. old and not learn some

> worthwhile things (although I was infinitely smarter 40 yrs. ago....if

> you could ask my Dad he'd tell you.

> To put things in a little more perspective..... I was assured was going

> to die a pretty lousy death and I didn't....

> 3 years after my Tx I was told I had incurable cancer .but I'm still

> here and I still have it

> 3 years ago I was told I had AIH (incurable) I didn't even know what it

> was and now I'm stuck on prednisone the rest of my life.

> I am unable to work I once had my own business which paid me a much as

> $90,000/yr. Now I have absolutely no assests or life insurance or health

> insurance. I'm going to spend the rest of my life at the largess of the

> govenment and family...a we bit emasculating.

> My situation affords me no way if ever having a wife or companion again

> and I get pretty lonely if I let myself.

> Now my doctor wants to put me on blood pressure pills (but I don't like

> a lot of meds, so.. ( a couple of my teeth are falling out too and I am

> slightly vain about my looks)

> I I have other problems too , maybe these are not as bad as any of you

> alls.....

> But problems are problems....

>

> I am going to tell you the truth and the truth is this ....in the last

> nine years ( a year and half before my Tx) I have had not one single

> " bad day " ....none

>

> If you were to read back thru all my posts here you will not find one..

> not one.... in which I have complained about any thing...that is not

> what I see as my purpose.to the group.... I try to downplay our troubles

> and fears. make fun of those things I find funny, try to make each of

> you find the humor too. Research your questions and send the answers if

> I can

> Give out advice as I see it and only from a sense of care and

> commitment. My biggest fault is a slight temper at times for which I am

> truly sorry.... but I'm Irish and my temper fades faster than it rises.

> This is my perception of support. The support I receive in return is te

> realizatuin of how blessed I am as my problems are nothing compared to

> most of yours and satisfaction if I have helped someone or at least made

> them laugh. Support is more than empathy or sympathy it is also about

> telling the truth.

> I belong to another support group that has about a milion members, they

> saved my life and they keep me alive and one thing that not offered is

> sympathy and very little tolerance for self pity...the thing that is

> offered is love.

>

> And that is my sincere offer to to you all

> jerry

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jean....thanks I responded as I did because I sense you are the type

person who can understand where I was coming from....i wanted to help

fix you and thought a little tough love was in order .

I realy hate to see someone suffer..The only mean bone I ever had in my

body is useless from old age....sigh.

any way.....it is wellknown that prednisone can make one very moody and

it may be more intense in some then others..... when they put me on

it....I was a complete oposite of my real self and moods jumped all over

the place.

I eventually went back on zoloft after not being on it for some time and

it mellowed me right out. Noq\w that I'mfinally down to 5 mgs, I don't

take it again. I personally have found Zoloft to be an excellent help to

me over the years....it doesn't interfere with Gods work in any

way....but can help me to se what his will is whenmy mind is quiet. It

is not addicting and does not zpombie one out..it just smoothes out the

sharp edges.and hels you cope.

Treatment if successful will lower all your indicators ANA and ASMA are

only antibodies that have rushed to your defense at a perceived

attack...the imuran and pred is suppused to slow down or shut down their

production. With their lessened prescense your lfts will fall too

because those antibodies aren't around to attack your cells. I don't

know if your ana levels will get to " normal " or not (i believe it is

supposed to be less than 1:120 no?)

But that is the aim of treatment.

Certainly any liver disease will affect us mentally as well as

physically because the live is involved in so many functions in our

bodies.

Thank you my friend for understanding....know that I love you as well as

all those here and even those in different lagoons ( nice words)

love jerry