Re: To W . From Louie

[Guest guest]

Louie,

My mom lives only about 5 miles from me. I spoke with her last night. She was

in good spirits and said they would be sending her home today. My pain is

better today than yesterday but is still there. I'm going to stay home today

and hope I can mke it in to work Thursday and Friday.

I have to go in Friday no matter what. My very dear friend at work has to go to

court on Friday and needs me there to possibly testify on her behalf. I have to

share the story of how our wonderful court systems work. My friend divorced

about two years ago. Her ex immediately married the woman he was having an

affair with. His visits with their son were at best sporadic. The little boy

would go into hysterics at even the mention of his father. He would beg his my

friend not to make him go. He was not quite 3 when this began. Even though he

only sees me a couple of times a year, he would go with me in a minute and be

totally happy. That says to me that something was not right when he was with

his dad, stepmom, and step siblings. The dad complained about everything he

did. Compared him to the step sibling who was a year older. Told my friend he

was slow. Told his own father the boy was retarded. Pitched a fit because the

boy cold not totally dress himself at not even 3 years old. I could go on and

on. Well, a year after the divorce, the dad totally quit seeing the son and

child support also stopped. This was last Sep. Getting child support was going

to be next to impossible because the dad kept changing jobs. The district

attorney's office had no interest in helping because my friend has a good job

and with budgeting she and her son could manage without child support. Anyway,

the dad's sister told him in Dec. that he should just give up his rights to the

son. He indicated he was agreeable to do that. My friend discussed it with

him. In Feb., he signed paperwork giving up his rights. To me, this should

have been a simple matter. He voluntarily signed away all rights. No- the

courts didn't see it that way. To make a long story short, the judge ended up

appointing a guardian ad litem (sp?) for the boy, which, of course, my friend

must pay for. This woman met for one hour with my friend, her son, and

attorney. The only questions she asked the boy were " what does your dad look

like? how tall is he? is he taller than you? " To the last question, the lawyer

laughed and said, " hell, everyon is taller than him - he's 4! " The boy answered

I don't know to the first two questions and yes to the third. The gaurdian A.L.

said, " well, he obviously has some recollection of his father. " It was like -

duh - no one said he didn't remember his dad! My friend and her attorney were

in agreement that they would allow the boy to meet with his dad if supervised by

the guardian A.L. Well, the guardian met with the dad and he must have done his

usual charming schmooze on her. The guardian wrote a letter to the court saying

she did not agree that it was in the best interest of the child to terminate the

father's rights. She said the mother was willing to forego all back and future

child support and the guardian didn't disagree with that. She said terminating

the father's rights might jepardize the child's future income as he would lose

any inheritance or SS he would be entitled to if the father died. She proposed

that the boy spend two weekends a month with the dad and his family for the next

two months. The guardian would meet with them and observe on the 4th visit.

Now, this dad let both the boy's 4th birthday last Oct. and Christmas go by with

not so much as a phone call. In Feb he signed away all rights to the kid. It's

now been a year since he has seen or even talked to the boy. My friend has

never once refused him visitation, even when her little boy was screaming and

begging not to be made to go with his father. Upon seeing this letter from the

guardian A.L., my friend told her attorney to dismiss the case. She has decided

that she will refuse to allow the father visitation until such time as a judge

orders her to comply. The father will never take her to court because he

doesn't care enough to bother and he also has no money. Well, the judge has

refused to dismiss the case and said everyone will be in court on Friday. We

feel pretty sure that the judge will not agree to terminate the dad's rights

(even though he signed them away willingly) and will most likely order my friend

to allow unsupervised overnight visitation with the dad. We are just praying

that the dad doesn't show up in court on Friday and that will send a message to

the judge as to just how concerned he is.

I've told my friend that even in my worst nightmare, I could have never imagine

that this could turn out this way!

W