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Where were you? 9/11

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Last Sept 11th. I was an in patient at MUSC waiting on Mr.. P to quiet down.

I was watching TV in the morning through the fog of meds and I remember

watching the reports on TV and yet it didn't seem real. I honestly could not

comprehend the horrible tragedy I had just witnessed on TV. Being a former

paramedic I thought about how I would have responded to such a large

incident. Without a doubt my first thought would have been to help the

injured first and my safety second. You get in a mode and nothing else seems

to matter. I'm sure that's how the firefighters were that day as well. There

first thought was of getting everyone to safety,without taking their own

into account. It is not what we are taught but sometimes you think with your

heart and not your head.

I doubt I watch much TV tomorrow for the simple fact I do not like to relive

horrible events. It is depressing and watching it and talking about it non

stop will not change what happened and only bring out the hurt. At least it

does in me. There are times when I am driving down the highway and come

across an area that I worked a bad accident with fatalities or see a house

that I had to tell someone that there loved one had died and I remember it

like yesterday. I remember the helplessness I sometimes felt. I see the look

on the families face. I remember. I learned to " suck it up " and go on with

the day, be professional, don't show to much emotion...don't be a " whimp "

What they didn't see was me locked in my room crying at night, many times.

Even now just reading about some of the vicims of the WTC attacks I get

emotional. Today will be a day of remembrance for me. I will remember those

that gave their lives to save others. I will remember the service men and

women that are fighting for us now. I will thank God that I live in the

greatest Country on earth. God Bless America.

Tuten-SC

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,

I understand what you mean about the empathy with the Police and Fire

Fighters at the WTC. I grew up in a family of Fire Fighters. My

Grandfather, my Dad, my Uncle and 3 first cousins were all Professional

Fire Fighters. I was trained in First Aid by the time I was 9. My Grandpa

was a Deputy Chief and he let me ride in the car with him to a few

fires. I helped lay out bandages and prep a few wounds now and then. My

Mother finally put a ban on my ride-alongs after attending one Fire Fighter

funeral too many. Our next door neighbor died when he was thrown from the

back of his truck in a traffic accident and run over by the second

truck. Shortly after that my Dad left the Department but like you he had

his visions and nightmares 'til the day he died. My personal opinion is

that most long time Fire Fighters and EMS workers suffer from undiagnosed

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I think that the aftermath of the deaths

of the men and women of the combined Police and Fire Departments at the WTC

has allowed many of the brotherhood around the country to put aside their

bravado and seek help.

I spent 6 months in New York back in '95 and '96. I lived in Battery Park

City just 4 blocks from the WTC and worked on Street near Broadway

just 3 blocks from the WTC Plaza. On cold days I would walk through the

World Financial Center and out through the WTC to avoid the cold Hudson

River wind on my way to work. My old apartment building was within the

debris field from the collapse and was uninhabitable for 2 months after the

attack. I still have trouble comprehending the destruction.

I haven't been back to NYC in the last year. I'm not sure I am emotionally

ready. I know I can't go see the Pentagon. My nephew works in the

building and we spent too long on 9/11 panicking over his status even

though we knew it hit a different part of the building from his. I am so

happy my niece called and said she had heard from him and he was out of his

office when it happened.

It is a day that I don't ever want to relive. I have replayed it in my

head so many times. I don't think I want to see those images refreshed in

my mind. I haven't forgotten them in the last year and it will do me no

good to sharpen them in my memory.

I think I will probably keep away from the TV today. There must be

something else I can do.

Chuck

At 06:23 AM 9/11/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>Last Sept 11th. I was an in patient at MUSC waiting on Mr.. P to quiet down.

>I was watching TV in the morning through the fog of meds and I remember

>watching the reports on TV and yet it didn't seem real. I honestly could not

>comprehend the horrible tragedy I had just witnessed on TV. Being a former

>paramedic I thought about how I would have responded to such a large

>incident. Without a doubt my first thought would have been to help the

>injured first and my safety second. You get in a mode and nothing else seems

>to matter. I'm sure that's how the firefighters were that day as well. There

>first thought was of getting everyone to safety,without taking their own

>into account. It is not what we are taught but sometimes you think with your

>heart and not your head.

>I doubt I watch much TV tomorrow for the simple fact I do not like to relive

>horrible events. It is depressing and watching it and talking about it non

>stop will not change what happened and only bring out the hurt. At least it

>does in me. There are times when I am driving down the highway and come

>across an area that I worked a bad accident with fatalities or see a house

>that I had to tell someone that there loved one had died and I remember it

>like yesterday. I remember the helplessness I sometimes felt. I see the look

>on the families face. I remember. I learned to " suck it up " and go on with

>the day, be professional, don't show to much emotion...don't be a " whimp "

>What they didn't see was me locked in my room crying at night, many times.

>Even now just reading about some of the vicims of the WTC attacks I get

>emotional. Today will be a day of remembrance for me. I will remember those

>that gave their lives to save others. I will remember the service men and

>women that are fighting for us now. I will thank God that I live in the

>greatest Country on earth. God Bless America.

>

> Tuten-SC

Chuck Sullivan

chuck@...

" When in command, Take charge. When faced with a decision, do what is

right. Nothing else matters. " - Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf

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,

I understand what you mean about the empathy with the Police and Fire

Fighters at the WTC. I grew up in a family of Fire Fighters. My

Grandfather, my Dad, my Uncle and 3 first cousins were all Professional

Fire Fighters. I was trained in First Aid by the time I was 9. My Grandpa

was a Deputy Chief and he let me ride in the car with him to a few

fires. I helped lay out bandages and prep a few wounds now and then. My

Mother finally put a ban on my ride-alongs after attending one Fire Fighter

funeral too many. Our next door neighbor died when he was thrown from the

back of his truck in a traffic accident and run over by the second

truck. Shortly after that my Dad left the Department but like you he had

his visions and nightmares 'til the day he died. My personal opinion is

that most long time Fire Fighters and EMS workers suffer from undiagnosed

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I think that the aftermath of the deaths

of the men and women of the combined Police and Fire Departments at the WTC

has allowed many of the brotherhood around the country to put aside their

bravado and seek help.

I spent 6 months in New York back in '95 and '96. I lived in Battery Park

City just 4 blocks from the WTC and worked on Street near Broadway

just 3 blocks from the WTC Plaza. On cold days I would walk through the

World Financial Center and out through the WTC to avoid the cold Hudson

River wind on my way to work. My old apartment building was within the

debris field from the collapse and was uninhabitable for 2 months after the

attack. I still have trouble comprehending the destruction.

I haven't been back to NYC in the last year. I'm not sure I am emotionally

ready. I know I can't go see the Pentagon. My nephew works in the

building and we spent too long on 9/11 panicking over his status even

though we knew it hit a different part of the building from his. I am so

happy my niece called and said she had heard from him and he was out of his

office when it happened.

It is a day that I don't ever want to relive. I have replayed it in my

head so many times. I don't think I want to see those images refreshed in

my mind. I haven't forgotten them in the last year and it will do me no

good to sharpen them in my memory.

I think I will probably keep away from the TV today. There must be

something else I can do.

Chuck

At 06:23 AM 9/11/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>Last Sept 11th. I was an in patient at MUSC waiting on Mr.. P to quiet down.

>I was watching TV in the morning through the fog of meds and I remember

>watching the reports on TV and yet it didn't seem real. I honestly could not

>comprehend the horrible tragedy I had just witnessed on TV. Being a former

>paramedic I thought about how I would have responded to such a large

>incident. Without a doubt my first thought would have been to help the

>injured first and my safety second. You get in a mode and nothing else seems

>to matter. I'm sure that's how the firefighters were that day as well. There

>first thought was of getting everyone to safety,without taking their own

>into account. It is not what we are taught but sometimes you think with your

>heart and not your head.

>I doubt I watch much TV tomorrow for the simple fact I do not like to relive

>horrible events. It is depressing and watching it and talking about it non

>stop will not change what happened and only bring out the hurt. At least it

>does in me. There are times when I am driving down the highway and come

>across an area that I worked a bad accident with fatalities or see a house

>that I had to tell someone that there loved one had died and I remember it

>like yesterday. I remember the helplessness I sometimes felt. I see the look

>on the families face. I remember. I learned to " suck it up " and go on with

>the day, be professional, don't show to much emotion...don't be a " whimp "

>What they didn't see was me locked in my room crying at night, many times.

>Even now just reading about some of the vicims of the WTC attacks I get

>emotional. Today will be a day of remembrance for me. I will remember those

>that gave their lives to save others. I will remember the service men and

>women that are fighting for us now. I will thank God that I live in the

>greatest Country on earth. God Bless America.

>

> Tuten-SC

Chuck Sullivan

chuck@...

" When in command, Take charge. When faced with a decision, do what is

right. Nothing else matters. " - Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf

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Share on other sites

,

I understand what you mean about the empathy with the Police and Fire

Fighters at the WTC. I grew up in a family of Fire Fighters. My

Grandfather, my Dad, my Uncle and 3 first cousins were all Professional

Fire Fighters. I was trained in First Aid by the time I was 9. My Grandpa

was a Deputy Chief and he let me ride in the car with him to a few

fires. I helped lay out bandages and prep a few wounds now and then. My

Mother finally put a ban on my ride-alongs after attending one Fire Fighter

funeral too many. Our next door neighbor died when he was thrown from the

back of his truck in a traffic accident and run over by the second

truck. Shortly after that my Dad left the Department but like you he had

his visions and nightmares 'til the day he died. My personal opinion is

that most long time Fire Fighters and EMS workers suffer from undiagnosed

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I think that the aftermath of the deaths

of the men and women of the combined Police and Fire Departments at the WTC

has allowed many of the brotherhood around the country to put aside their

bravado and seek help.

I spent 6 months in New York back in '95 and '96. I lived in Battery Park

City just 4 blocks from the WTC and worked on Street near Broadway

just 3 blocks from the WTC Plaza. On cold days I would walk through the

World Financial Center and out through the WTC to avoid the cold Hudson

River wind on my way to work. My old apartment building was within the

debris field from the collapse and was uninhabitable for 2 months after the

attack. I still have trouble comprehending the destruction.

I haven't been back to NYC in the last year. I'm not sure I am emotionally

ready. I know I can't go see the Pentagon. My nephew works in the

building and we spent too long on 9/11 panicking over his status even

though we knew it hit a different part of the building from his. I am so

happy my niece called and said she had heard from him and he was out of his

office when it happened.

It is a day that I don't ever want to relive. I have replayed it in my

head so many times. I don't think I want to see those images refreshed in

my mind. I haven't forgotten them in the last year and it will do me no

good to sharpen them in my memory.

I think I will probably keep away from the TV today. There must be

something else I can do.

Chuck

At 06:23 AM 9/11/2002 +0000, you wrote:

>Last Sept 11th. I was an in patient at MUSC waiting on Mr.. P to quiet down.

>I was watching TV in the morning through the fog of meds and I remember

>watching the reports on TV and yet it didn't seem real. I honestly could not

>comprehend the horrible tragedy I had just witnessed on TV. Being a former

>paramedic I thought about how I would have responded to such a large

>incident. Without a doubt my first thought would have been to help the

>injured first and my safety second. You get in a mode and nothing else seems

>to matter. I'm sure that's how the firefighters were that day as well. There

>first thought was of getting everyone to safety,without taking their own

>into account. It is not what we are taught but sometimes you think with your

>heart and not your head.

>I doubt I watch much TV tomorrow for the simple fact I do not like to relive

>horrible events. It is depressing and watching it and talking about it non

>stop will not change what happened and only bring out the hurt. At least it

>does in me. There are times when I am driving down the highway and come

>across an area that I worked a bad accident with fatalities or see a house

>that I had to tell someone that there loved one had died and I remember it

>like yesterday. I remember the helplessness I sometimes felt. I see the look

>on the families face. I remember. I learned to " suck it up " and go on with

>the day, be professional, don't show to much emotion...don't be a " whimp "

>What they didn't see was me locked in my room crying at night, many times.

>Even now just reading about some of the vicims of the WTC attacks I get

>emotional. Today will be a day of remembrance for me. I will remember those

>that gave their lives to save others. I will remember the service men and

>women that are fighting for us now. I will thank God that I live in the

>greatest Country on earth. God Bless America.

>

> Tuten-SC

Chuck Sullivan

chuck@...

" When in command, Take charge. When faced with a decision, do what is

right. Nothing else matters. " - Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf

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